Dear Diary, 

It's me again. I've been writing in here a lot these days, haven't I? 

I think I haven't quite processed Minho's revelation yet. It still feels unreal. Maybe if I write more about him, it would be easier to believe that werewolves exist? 

Ever since that day, Minho has been showing up near my dorm block often, as a human of course. There wasn't much to say in the mornings, especially when you have classes to attend. He would be dressed in a hoodie and baggy track pants, coincidentally jogging past the entrance and saying hi. Still, I find myself getting out earlier so I can spend a bit more time with him. If only I wasn’t such an awkward idiot who only knows about plants and soil composition.

“Why are you always here every morning?”

“Hm, good question,” Minho mulled, glancing up to the sky with hands stuffed into his front pockets. “It’s right on top of a hill, near the woods, and the air is fresh up here. It’s the perfect place for a wolf to run, isn’t it?” 

Jinki choked, not expecting Minho to talk about his condition so casually. 

“Sorry, is it too early to talk about that?” he laughed, patting Jinki’s back. “I thought you’ll be okay with it since you’ve already seen me change.”

“No, I’m fine, really,” the environmental science student wiped a tear from his eye. “Like you said, despite being an urban city, there are parts of Seoul that are made to be ecologically sustainable for biodiversity, but I wouldn’t be sure if wolves can exist in these parts without a stable food source...”

“Like… cheese Buldak ramyeon with sausages?” Thick eyebrows wiggled at him.

Jinki blinked. “Are you trying to say you’re hungry?”

Minho flashed his pearly whites at him. Up close like this, they were indeed, sharper than an average human’s. 

“I thought you’d never ask.”

So on Sundays we would have breakfast together- Is ramyeon proper breakfast food? I'm sure it's not very healthy, but Minho seems to like it a lot. 

Then three weeks ago, Minho offered to show me his room. It turns out that Veterinary Science students don't live that far. Minho always gets up at 4AM in the morning to run and burn excess energy that makes him too excitable and change unexpectedly. He doesn’t seem to mind, but I shudder to think about waking so early for the rest of my life. 

“Which do you prefer, being a human or a wolf?”

Tufted in amber and grey, Minho’s left canine ear prickled and turned in his direction. “What do you mean by that?”

Minho’s room was pretty normal. Tidy enough to see the furniture, yet there were little messes here and there, like undone sheets and half-open backpacks with books and clothes hanging out like wagging tongues. He wasn’t quite sure about touching Minho’s belongings, so Jinki kept his hands clasped behind himself. “Like… is it easier to do things as a human, because you can talk and use your hands… or is it nicer to be a wolf because you don’t have to worry too much about, hm, human things?”

Minho sighed, pulling his hoodie over his head. “I think both are great, it’s just that… being both at the same time is a little too much. I want to put my all into everything, but there would be something about the other half of me that would stop me from being a hundred percent, like wanting to be free and succumb to my wild instincts. Or realising I have something left undone and I can't run away from human life just yet."

The frown on Minho’s face set off alarm bells in Jinki’s head. The last thing he wanted was to upset the boy he liked– despite his quirks – and lose this friendship. “Sorry, that must have been a sensitive topic…”

“Not at all!” The wolf-boy beamed at him as he patted the empty space on the bed next to him, like sun rays shining through parting clouds after rain. “It’s okay that it’s you. You’re the only person other than my family that hasn’t run away after knowing my secret.”

As Jinki’s eyes cast over Minho’s hunched form, he wondered how anyone else would have reacted. Did they scream and run away, or shun and hurt him? He thought about the episode they had in the kitchen that very first time, how he would have freaked out if he saw the entire transformation. That would have been traumatic for Minho too. 

"If you don't mind me asking…" Jinki started cautiously, "were you born like this or did you get bitten?"

With a tilt of his head, Minho stared at him with those humongous eyes of his, flecks of gold and amber swirling in his irises, making Jinki melt a little inside. 

"By another werewolf under a full moon? You believe in that western folklore crap?" 

"N-no…" Nervous fingers met each other on Jinki's lap, picking under nails. "Come to think of it, that would be too far-fetched. It's not biologically possible to gain so much DNA of another species through a simple bite. Viral infections don't work that way either."

Minho chuckled next to him, a low comforting rumbling sound. "Glad that we're both in sciences. The closest theory I can come up with is a mix of heredity and mutation, specifically inheriting the ability to translocate two different species of DNA in one body." 

As Minho held out his hand, the hairs on his arm began to grow and thicken, as his fingers curled into shorter digits and long sharp claws sprouted out of his nail beds. The change reminded Jinki of a time-lapse video of a tadpole growing its limbs, except it was way less gruesome than Jinki thought. In a few seconds, the claws and fur retracted, leaving smooth skin and supple appendages in place. 

"Wow." He gasped. "That's really cool."

Satisfied with his little parlour trick, Minho leaned back, propping himself up with his arms. "I'm still figuring things out, why I'm like this. My dad said that we descended from an ancient clan of guardian wolves, most of us hunted down during the Joseon dynasty or preferring to live simple lives in the wild. Our bloodline is nearly extinct, so there isn't really anyone to ask, or resources to refer to." 

Jinki leaned in, fascinated. "Is that the main reason why you took up Veterinary Science?"

"Mostly. But I like animals too. Especially dogs." 

A chuckle erupted from Jinki's chest, imagining Minho playing with other dogs in his wolf form, sniffing at each other's butts and wagging their tails. Weird, but strangely cute. 

“Do you like dogs too?” Minho’s voice cut through his thoughts, sending him from canine heaven back to Earth where the werewolf is looking expectantly at him, ears and tail flicking about.

“Y-yeah.” Jinki tried to play it cool by looking away to brush a lock of hair behind his ear. It’s already a lot for him to be friends with his high school crush, but seeing the boy with animal features was making his heart do Olympic-level gymnastics that he had never expected before. 

Minho gave him a light punch on the arm, laughing. “Why are you always so nervous around me? Am I scary?” 

“No! I-it’s just–”

A furry snout landed atop his lap, the same pair of heart-melting puppy eyes looking up at him now except Minho is now a wolf, body swimming in the white tee that used to fit his broad chest nicely just moments ago. Jinki sighed, hand instinctively reaching for the top of his head to pet him between the ears. Ah, the magical therapeutic effects of petting a fluffy animal.

Still, Jinki wasn’t sure about being honest about his feelings. A guy falling in love with another guy was already weird enough, but a werewolf? That’s in the realm of unthinkable.

“It’s just… I think you’re very cool and-”

Minho suddenly shot up, head raised towards the door, and leapt off the bed, startling Jinki who fell backwards onto the mattress. 

“What was it?” Jinki breathed out as he got up, finding discarded track pants on the floor as the wolf crouched near the door with his nose stuck under the door, ears on alert. “Is there someone outside?” In the silence, it was easy to make out the small tiny sniffles Minho made, thick hairs on the back of his neck bristling. 

After a long moment of silence, Minho backs away from the door. With just his jaws, he picked up the discarded article of clothing and turned his back to Jinki. With only the T-shirt currently hanging loosely off his frame, Jinki wondered if Minho changes back into his human form now, would he be… oh, that would be too much to think about. He covered his eyes. If he had a heart rate monitor hooked onto him, his levels would be spiking through the roof now.

“Sorry,” the now-human Minho apologised. “Bad habit. I tend to get skittish when I’m in my wolf form. And why are you closing your eyes like that? We’re both guys here.” 

Jinki kept his eyes squeezed shut. “I’m respecting your privacy.” 

“You’re really funny, you know that? We’re friends, aren’t we? You don’t need to be shy around me when we’re hanging out like this. I swear I won’t get mad.” 

“Your pants…”

“I’m wearing them now.”

Taking in a deep breath, Jinki let his eyes open to the view of Minho, all human, no animal features, slight frown etched between his brows. Only then did he finally exhale in relief.

Minho smirked. “If you keep this up, I’ll have to study you more, and find out what makes you tick.” 

What does that mean? 

So for the whole of last two weeks, it turned out that Minho’s way of ‘studying’ me was to hang out with me more often, and do things together like dragging me out for morning jogs, study sessions in the library, playing video games or watching dramas in each other’s rooms. 

I made a few observations of my own as well. I found out that Minho is a man of habit, who lives only in extremes. Like sitting in the exact same spot in the cafeteria every day. He would glare hard at anyone who takes his seat at the table nearest to the back entrance until they give up, bringing their half-eaten lunches along with them. He’s pretty stubborn with his decisions too.

There is no slowing down when you’re with Choi Minho. He’s always on the constant move, running ahead or making himself busy with something. Since I’m usually a slow-paced person, I usually lag behind and let Minho win our games most of the time. But at least when we are out running near the woods together, he would wait for me to catch up and make sure I’m never too far behind. 

The only times I’ve seen him quiet was during our TV time together, when he would hop up on my bed and lay his head down on my lap like a friendly dog. It’s nice, especially with the cooling weather, to have someone sharing his warmth with you. I think he likes it a lot when I his wolf ears or the top of his head, it seems to have a soothing effect on him that I’ve caught him with his eyes closed a few times. I’ve never had a pet before, so I guess this is why people fall in love with their pets and get attached to them. I’ve even entertained the urge to bury my face into his fur just to feel how soft it is. It must feel very nice.

This brings the next question: why does Minho want to hang out with me so much? 

I tried looking up wolf psychology online and found that wolves are loyal animals and can form deep attachments with humans, just like dogs do. So it may be possible the wolf part of Minho is starting to grow attached to me, but that shouldn’t be all, should it? 

Compared to high school, Minho did not seem as social with other people, but he’s still polite. Maybe he feels displaced losing contact with his high school buddies, so he latched on to the only familiar face he could find in this campus. Not that I’m a super fun person to be with.

Perhaps to Minho, I am becoming a close friend he can confide in. I wonder how long this will continue. Will we ever become more than friends? Or is it just wishful thinking on my part? 

Maybe one day, I will know the answer.