It’s scorching hot and you only know that because Joohyun doesn’t wear skirts unless it’s absolutely necessary. She woke up late again today and you want to scold Seulgi for not keeping an eye on her but you also know that your friends have their own lives to take care of. And it’s not like they haven’t tried, it’s just that Joohyun can be really stubborn sometimes. 

Joohyun takes another minute or so choosing the shade of the lipstick she wants to use for the day. 

“Bright red,” you say under your breath. Joohyun looks at her reflection and sighs before applying an orange tinted lipstick. She picks up all the red colored lipsticks and hides them in the drawer that neither of you really opens. 

“It doesn't work that way, Hyun,” you try to grab her arm but she quickly turns away to wear her blazer. She sees the pile of dishes on the sink but she looks away quickly before you can even comment on it. She locks the door behind her and unlocks the car. You notice that she’s been using your car to drive herself to work. 

“I knew you’ve always liked my car better than yours.” She’s already half an hour late and you know that she’s dying to drive over the speed limit but she doesn’t because you’ve once had a heated argument due to her road rage. You put your hands on her thighs to calm her down, “I’m here, it’s just a little traffic no big deal, okay?” 

She tries to calm her breathing with the technique you taught her before. Breathe in ten times and breathe out five times. “Damn you, Son Seungwan. I would’ve been in the office by now if it wasn’t for you.” You chuckle at her words because if this happened five years ago then she would’ve arrived by now but a lot has changed since then. She’s not the same old careless Joohyun you used to know. 

-----

It’s ten past nine when she arrives at the office. You notice the clutter on her desk and you swallow the guilt threatening to rise up inside because everyone knows how much of a clean freak Joohyun is. She’d rather stay up all night cleaning your messy apartment than watch a movie with you. If there’s one thing that people should know about Bae Joohyun is that she ing loathes anything messy or dirty. 

But then again, a lot has changed. You don’t exactly blame Joohyun for the things she’s seemingly ignoring right now. 

Amid the piles of unsigned documents on her table, you see multiple pictures of yourself scattered all over. There’s your college graduation photo where your eyes can barely be seen with the huge smile you had. There’s also a stolen picture that she took on your first date years ago. 

She unconsciously stares at all the pictures of you.

“Don’t do this to yourself, Hyun. You’re only making it harder for the both of us.”

She bites her lip to stop herself from crying and you immediately rub her back, a habit that you can never grow out of. 

“You’re so unfair, Wan-ah. I’m trying to forget you but you’re making it impossible.” You lean your head on her shoulder to keep yourself grounded. To remind yourself that you’re doing the right thing. Joohyun deserves to love again — even if it means letting her go. You promised to never leave her but don’t promises expire once you’re no longer alive to stay true to them? 

You look at her one last time before walking away.

“You deserve a love that doesn’t cause you pain, Hyun, It’s time to let me go.” You linger by her door frame, waiting for her to say something — hoping for her to give you a reason to stay. But instead you see her removing all your pictures on her desk. She hesitates for a second before throwing them all away. 

You smile at her proudly because it’s been a long time coming. “Attagirl. You deserve the world and I'm so sorry that I’m no longer around to give it to you. I love you, Bae Joohyun.” 

You can see the light shining brighter than it ever has. You sigh a breath of relief because you can finally leave after years of being stuck here. But before the light swallows you whole, you hear Joohyun say something under her breath as if she can actually see you walking away. 

“I love you, Son Seungwan. Dead or alive, I’ll always love you the most.” You feel tears rolling down your cheeks but you’re not crying because you’re sad. You’re crying because you’ve had the privilege of loving and being loved by Bae Joohyun — that in itself beats being sent to heaven.