The crisp morning air would have been slightly comforting had it not been for the fact that the only scent invading his senses was that of alcohol swabs and overly clean surgical sheets. Sehun walked over to Jongin's bed side, pursing his lips as he watched him take slow staggered breaths. It’d been two months since Jongin was diagnosed of cancer at its fourth stage, chemotherapy was no longer a viable option. Even though Sehun had been clear with the doctor of his intentions to fork out whatever necessary finances needed as long as his husband was well taken care of, they had decided that he was far too weak and frail to undergo extensive treatment.

“It’s only a matter of time before he passes away… he’s been hanging on for so long. Poor thing.” The words cling to Sehun like a leech. He had gone out to the ward’s pantry to get himself a jar of warm water to last him the night in the cold hospital room, when he’d overheard two of the ward nurses exchanging stories of the patients in the ward. He had come to regret his decision of listening in then, realizing that ignorance was definitely bliss; he would rather have not had to hear the state his own husband was in.

His walk back to the room was one of muted despair. It was as though all the lights in the ward had gone off, the sterile white walls of the long corridor seemed to be closing in on him with every step he took. Upon reaching the room’s door, he took a deep breath in, mentally preparing himself before he twisted the door knob open, careful not to make too much noise. He had never realized before how cold the ward room was but he shivered as soon as the harsh cold air hit his skin, “It’s as cold as a morgue”, he mused bitterly. 

Jongin was still soundly asleep, though his brows were furrowed together and he could only sigh, knowing that he was in pain again. He pulled a chair from the corner of the room, sat down and placed Jongins hand in his. As he grazed his thumb across the back of Jongin's hand, he took the time to carefully memorize the details of his face. He was as good as all bones; the previous firmness of his skin was replaced with pained frown lines, and gone were the hints of youthfulness on his face.  

The slow rhythmic beeping of his Jongin's heart rate machine soon became his dull lullaby and unwillingly, he let sleep take over, Jongin's frail hand still carefully placed in his.

“Dear...where are you?…” Sehun shifted in his place, cracking an eye open and squinting as he caught a glimpse of the scorching sun. “Sehun…” He snapped his attention up to his Jongin who was feebly rubbing away tears that formed at the corner of his eyes.

“Yes, love? Are you in pain? Do you need me to call the nurse?” Jongin shook his head slowly in response, reaching out to grasp Sehun’s hand.

“…It hurts, Sehun.” A tear rolled down his cheek. “It hurts.” And another.

Sehun felt his heart clench at the sight. He’d always prided himself on being a man of great power who garnered respect from others; he was never one to cry. But looking down at Jongin, he wished he could be in his place instead. “I’m sorry, love. Is there anything I can do to make it better?”

There was a long pause as he awaited a reply, the silence that followed was eerily thick in the air. “Make it stop… let me die.”

Sehun felt a shiver run down his spine, the words creating a tight pang in his chest. “..I’ll see what I can do.” He mumbled, bending over to kiss him on his forehead.

It took Sehun approximately an hour to comprehend the seriousness of Jongin’s request and another five hours to gather up enough courage to bring up the topic to the doctor. When he eventually did however, he was met with a displeasure.

“Mr Oh, I’d like to be completely honest with you. While we see no significant improvements of Jongin's condition at present moment, I wouldn’t rule out the possibility of recovery. Granted, complete recovery is rare but it is important for the patient’s wellbeing that their family members do not lose hope… that said, I hope you will make the right choice.” As harsh as the doctor’s words were, he knew it was mandatory for the doctors to offer their own insights on the situation. This though, wasn’t enough to keep Sehun from losing his cool.

“The right choice…? I don’t know what is right or wrong anymore. All I know is that Jongin is suffering. It pains me to see him like that. You think this was an easy decision to make? It wasn’t. He's my husband! Of course I want him to live.” Sehun paused, taking in a deep breath. “…If you were me, just for one second imagine you were me, what would you do for your partner who is lying on a hospital bed in pain, watching the hours tick by?” A stinging sensation irritated his eyes and he buried his face in his palms just as the tears began to fall.

The doctor nodded and placed a hand on Sehun’s shoulder. “I’ll have documents prepared. I’ll need your signature for all of them before we can proceed.” Sehun looked up and had he not been in a situation as dire as this, he would’ve hugged the guy. Instead, his lips curved upwards in a tiniest smile he could offer, as a form of gratitude.

He walked in quick strides back to the room, immediately walking over to Jongin and kissing him again on his forehead. “I love you, Jongin. It won’t hurt for much longer.”

With his pale chapped lips, Jongin forced a smile. “Thank you, my love..."