Even though Kyuhyun felt very confident when he made the decision of confessing his feelings to Yesung, he got cold feet now that he had the opportunity to do it.

It was all thanks to that damned three days trip to check one of the branches outside the city.

While he was away, Kyuhyun was very eager to return and finally be with Yesung again. He was really looking forward telling him how he felt and finally starting dating him. He was really really determined to do it.

But then, on his way back home, all the stress finally got on him. Since he let his guard down, all the fatigue and anxiety he tried to contain hit him with full force. And that isn't a good combination.

He started to overthink and began to doubt his conclusions about Yesung's feelings. Even if he knew he had proofs, he started to feel pessimistic. Maybe he was imagining everything? Maybe he just got confused? His overworked brain wasn't in the best state to be rational, while his Yesung deprived heart was starting to feel uneasy. They barely talked before the trip, so not seeing him for three days on top of that was disheartening.

He really wanted to have a proper talk with Yesung at least once while he was on his trip, but he wouldn't have time to call him. He would have to wait for it. Still, the need to see him didn't go away.

That's why Kyuhyun decided to make a twitter account and check on Yesung there. Even if they texted daily, since Kyuhyun was very busy, they only had time to say goodnight or good morning. Yesung didn't want to take too much of Kyuhyun's time, so he only gave short answers and ended the conversation quickly. Kyuhyun didn't get to hear how the older was doing nor what he was thinking. He wanted to talk more with Yesung, but Kyuhyun didn't think he was in position to ask attention from the other. How could he? They weren't a couple yet.

Kyuhyun thought his 2k+ album of Yesung's photos wouldn't be enough to go through the wait. He already knew Yesung was fine when those were taken, he needed to know how he was now.

But maybe stalking his social media wasn't the best idea.

Despite his shy personality, Yesung's kindness and charm got him lots of friends. Yesung liked to spend time with his friends and he really loved taking photos and selcas. The result? There were lots of pictures of Yesung with his friends in his social media. Lots. If Kyuhyun had been in a better state of mind, he wouldn't have any problem with that. He would even be happy to see Yesung enjoying himself.

The problem is, Kyuhyun wasn't in a good state of mind. He was tired after those all nighters working on paperwork, frustrated by the accumulation of otherwise insignificant errors that postponed the finalization of the project and very stressed with how tight his schedule was. He wasn't feeling good. There was this dark feeling of negativity in his chest, making him feel heavy and moody. While being like that, people are prone to make wrong judgements and take bad decisions. Just like how Kyuhyun was reading too much into Yesung's photos. Even if he knew there was no reason to feel like this, Kyuhyun was bitter and jealous.

He was already feeling anxious waiting for Yesung to figure out his feelings. He was worried Yesung may confuse family and romantic love. And seeing photos of Yesung smiling with his friends on top of that made Kyuhyun insecure. Maybe there wasn't anything special in his relationship with Yesung. Yesung was very kind to everyone, after all. What if he was just trying to be nice to Kyuhyun?

And that's how Kyuhyun arrived home full of doubts. He still wanted to talk with Yesung, but the older ushered him to go to his room and rest. Kyuhyun obeyed, although begrudgingly. And since he was very tired, he felt asleep almost immediately.

When he woke up the next morning, Yesung had already gone to work, leaving a note to Kyuhyun in the breakfast he prepared for him.

Now that he had some rest and got some of Yesung's sweetness through the breakfast he ate, Kyuhyun felt better. He now had a clear mind and well rested brain that could rationalize properly.

Still, the insecurity didn't left his heart.

Maybe he was too quick to jump into conclusions. Maybe he should take into consideration the possibility of being rejected. Now Kyuhyun had to rethink his plans.

He would still confess, but he would do it after Yesung's birthday. He wanted to celebrate it properly and create good memories of them together. If he confessed before and Yesung rejected him, preparing something for Yesung may just be a bummer for him.

Kyuhyun had to think as well on what to do if his love was unrequited. He would want to stay as friends with Yesung if possible, but he would need time to get over him. However, living together wouldn't be compatible with that.

After trying to come up with a reasonable excuse to live separated of Yesung for some time, Kyuhyun remembered that specialization course in England his father mentioned to him. It was something he was interested in, so he could apply to it. He rejected the idea before because he could apply for the same specialization in his alma mater and be as prepared as he would be in England. But the idea of distance was very appealing at the moment. Since it would follow occidental schedules, he would have to apply for next year's course. Still, he could say he wanted to first see if he liked the environment and be there for this year's September. It may be too much, but Kyuhyun was panicking. And he could be very impulsive at times.

He would still have to wait for Yesung's answer to take his decision, though.

For now, he was going to focus on planning the best birthday ever for Yesung. It may be their last good memory before what may result in a catastrophe. But Kyuhyun was stubborn as well. Whatever may be the result, he was going to confess.

***

After various failed attempts at having a talk with Kyuhyun, Jongwoon was starting to lose the courage he worked so hard to gather. Be it due to bad timing, clash of schedules or something interrupting them, Jongwoon just couldn't get a chance to confess. Was it bad luck? The universe telling him to not do it? Jongwoon didn't know.

What he knew was that he really liked Kyuhyun. Jongwoon didn't want to give up just because of some superstitious reasons he himself created. But why was it so hard to be honest? Jongwoon had been honest all his life, this should be a piece of cake.

However, his own insecurities were discouraging him. Why would Kyuhyun be interested in him in the first place? Even if he knew it wasn't true, he couldn't help thinking that there was nothing worthy in him to be appealing for Kyuhyun.

Jongwoon had been working on his self esteem for the past months. He knew the vision he had of himself wasn't the best and that it wasn't healthy. Kyuhyun recommend him a therapist after sharing with him this worry. Jongwoon had done a lot of progress, but he was still far from perfect. It wasn't easy to forget years of dating people who always pointed out every mistake he did, every relatively bad trait, every thing they didn't like. The fear of rejection was still there, haunting him when he least expected it.

The anxiety of not knowing how Kyuhyun felt was eating him too. To make things worse, Kyuhyun was being very secretive about some plans he had. If he was talking over the phone, he would do it whispering, making sure Jongwoon didn't hear anything. He had been going to unknown places to do who knows what, being very vague if Jongwoon asked him about it. He also seemed to be worried about something, but he wouldn't tell anything to Jongwoon. Jongwoon wanted to help Kyuhyun if possible, but a ‘don't worry, I'll tell you later’ was the best answer he had gotten so far.

This all was making Jongwoon uneasy.

But even if his resolution wavered a little, he wasn't going to give up. Jongwoon would make sure to properly transmit his feelings to Kyuhyun. If he was rejected, then that would be it. He would back down and try to move on. He really wanted to remain being friends with Kyuhyun if possible, but he would understand if Kyuhyun didn't.

What kept Jongwoon's determination was the hope sparked by those sweet actions Kyuhyun has done so far. They made him think he had an opportunity. Jongwoon knew through those small gestures that Kyuhyun really cared about him. He was very attentive, after all, and despite that evil facade he wore, Kyuhyun was very loving. Jongwoon first thought the term tsundere may be appropriate to describe Kyuhyun, but there was more about Kyuhyun than just one word could tell. And it wasn't all that correct.

Since Kyuhyun made fun of everyone and everything, Kyuhyun included, it didn't felt like an attack when Jongwoon was the target. Sure, sometimes his teasing was inconsiderate, but Kyuhyun was very quick to catch on these things and always prioritized Jongwoon's wellbeing. He evaded making fun of touchy subjects and knew when to stop.

He always made sure to ask for Jongwoon's opinions and feelings as well. If he ever did something that made Jongwoon feel uncomfortable, he would quickly apologize, not doing it again. Jongwoon did the same for him, so they always shared very precious moments together.

Especially when they were alone. Kyuhyun would extra sweet with him, always making Jongwoon feel this bubbly feeling in his heart. When no one was watching, he was extra soft and caring, if that was possible.

Jongwoon didn't want to lose Kyuhyun. If he had even the sightless of opportunities, he wanted to grab it and try his luck. He didn't want to regret later on not even trying.

With a new resolve, Jongwoon decided to talk with Kyuhyun tonight. It was now or never.

He got home early today, but he needed to check on some reports for tomorrow. Jongwoon decided to work on their shared office while waiting for Kyuhyun. It was something simple so it didn't take him long. After finishing, he stretched and relaxed his body. He had been kinda stiff lately, he should work out more.

Since there was some time left until Kyuhyun came back from work, Jongwoon decided to organize the chaotic mess their office became. Kyuhyun texted him saying he would be on time and that he wanted to make a new dish, so Jongwoon didn't need to cook.

He stood up and saw the state of the office. There were papers here and there, some from Kyuhyun and some from Jongwoon. Folders, charts, reports and whatsoever were all around their desks. Jongwoon didn't want to mix his with Kyuhyun's, so he made sure to be careful. He separated his belongings from Kyuhyun's and put them in their respective place. In that process, Jongwoon caught sight of a pamphlet. He didn't knew if it was important or if he could throw it away, so he read it. He then read the information next to it.

Jongwoon paled.

It was about a specialization course in a university abroad. There were some scribbles of plans to be there from next month, costs of living, places to rent near the university and some other things Jongwoon couldn't read well. Kyuhyun's writing wasn't the best.

But criticism to Kyuhyun's handwriting aside, this was shocking. You usually need to send your entry request some months prior and then wait to get accepted, but it wasn't that long. It seems Kyuhyun was planning to apply for next year, so why was he going there one year prior? Isn't that a little extreme?

Did he want to get out of here so badly?

Jongwoon shook his head. He wasn't supposed to read this. Kyuhyun must have a reason for his decision. If he wanted to pursue a higher academic level, Jongwoon wasn't going to be in his way. It hurt him a little that Kyuhyun didn't consult it with him, though. This must be the reason behind Kyuhyun's secretive behavior, he didn't want to let Jongwoon know this. Was Jongwoon so unreliable that Kyuhyun didn't deem him worthy enough to trust with this? Was he so useless that-

Get a grip together. Stop with the self deprecating.

After clearing his mind, Jongwoon tried to think about this rationally. There wasn't any use in overthinking this. He was just going to tell Kyuhyun he accidentally read it, apologize for doing it and ask if he was really going to go. Yeah, that was a good plan.

Jongwoon finished organizing everything and feed his puppies. Then he waited for Kyuhyun's arrival.

It didn't take long for the younger to get home and, before Jongwoon knew it, they were already having dinner. Jongwoon saw with sheer horror that Kyuhyun's menu was full of occidental dishes. Was he already trying to get used to Europe gastronomy? He must be serious then. Kyuhyun noticed Jongwoon's reaction and asked him if he wasn't feeling good. Jongwoon only told him jokingly that he was worried he might gain weight with so much food. Kyuhyun didn't seem very convinced, but let it pass after telling him to say if there was anything he didn't like.

Jongwoon was absent mindedly bringing food to his mouth. Since he wasn't paying attention to his movements, he was dirtying himself.

"Woon-ah, be more careful." Kyuhyun took a napkin and cleaned the area around Jongwoon's mouth. Jongwoon got startled at this and almost fell from his chair. Kyuhyun got alarmed and went next to him. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Th- thanks Kyuhyunnie." , why did he have to stutter!?

"Is there something bothering you?" Kyuhyun asked softly, although he seemed to be nervous as well.

"Well..." Jongwoon pursed his lips. What better chance would he have than this? "I was cleaning the office and... I accidentally read your plans to go abroad... Sorry." Jongwoon didn't dare to see Kyuhyun at the eye. He was afraid of finding something he didn't like.

"I see..." Kyuhyun's voice was steady, not revealing any particular emotion. "It's okay, don't worry. I was going to talk with you about ir, anyways. I just needed to think how to do it."

"Are you really going rhen?" Jongwoon tried his best to sound nonchalant, but he wasn't sure if he was successful.

"It depends."

"On what?"

"Your answer to this question." Kyuhyun inhaled deeply before releasing his breath, trying to calmhimselff down. Once he did so, he asked in a shy voice. "Do... Do you like me?"

"What?"

", I didn't want this to come out like that... It's just- I really like you, Sungie. Really. I didn't want to bring this up because I didn't want to put you in a bad spot, but now that this came up..."

"You knew how I feel?"

"Yes, or so I think. I wanted to make sure before doing anything rash and- well... I didn't want to make any assumption, but I did..."

So he knew. Kyuhyun knew. He didn't point it out because he wanted to be considerate, but it must have been to much for him at the end. Jongwoon didn't know how to respond, but he ultimately decided to just say it. say how he felt.

"I like you as well Kyuhyunnie. I- I really do. But I think my liking is different to yours..."

"... Is that so?"

"Yeah... I'm sorry." Jongwoon felt so bad. He was putting Kyuhyun in a difficult position with his feelings. Jongwoon didn't want to cry, but knowing that Kyuhyun didn't like him in the same way was bringing pain to his heart. He did his best to not break down in front of Kyuhyun, so he didn't pay attention to how he reacted.

They remained silent for some time, not daring to say a word. Neither touched their food nor looked at the other. After some minutes, however, a weak voice was heard.

"Can we still be friends?" The first one to talk was Jongwoon. Kyuhyun immediately lifted his face and looked at Jongwoon. His eyes were red and there was a sea of emotions reflected in his eyes.

"Yes, of course. Why would you even ask- I mean, I understand why, just-" Kyuhyun lifted his arms and made a vage gesture. "I- I just need some time. And some space as well."

"That's why you're going?"

"Yes. I need to, you know. Move on and that . I don't want this getting between us."

"? Why would you need to move on?" Jongwoon tilted his head in confusion.

"? Why would I not try to move on?" Kyuhyun furrowed his eyebrows, not being sure if they were understanding each other.

"I mean, I am the one who has to move on. You don't need to go to another country just because of me."

"? Wait, I don't think we're on the same page." Kyuhyun looked confused.

"Well, yeah, that's why we are going to stay as friends. We don't feel the same way, I know. You don't have to rub your rejection on my face." Jongwoon did his best, but he couldn't help the bitter tone nor the tears trailing down his cheeks.

"Wait, what? You rejected me!" Kyuhyun pointed at him with disbelief.

"No, you did!" Now it was Jongwoon's turn to point and be confused.

"I just confessed and you told me you didn't feel the same way, how is that not a rejection!?"

"Huh? But I was the one that confessed... ?" Jongwoon was lost. What was going on?

"Huh?"

"Huh?"

"...?"

They stared dumbly at each other, not understanding what just happened. Time went on, seconds becoming minutes. Jongwoon wasn't sure how much time passed until they finally found their voice again.

"Maybe we need to talk about this again?"

"That's seems like the best option."

Both agreed rather fast. There was some weird misunderstanding going on that needed to be cleared. They just needed to talk more clearly and everything would be resolved. The thing is, they didn't know where to start.

Why did they have to be like this?

_____________

Author's notes: It's seems I love writing silly things. I originally wanted to make this all dramatic and end it in a cliffhanger, but I realized I find silly misunderstandings to be very annoying when used in dramas. Like, they just need to be more clear with their words, they don't need to break up over something so dumb!

So I wanted to make it look as dumb as it is.

On other note, I reread last chapter and just had this sudden need to delete it and rewrite it properly. Like, I don't know why but I cringed more than usual when reading anything I've written. I decided against deleting at the end, though. I want future me to get embarrassed over it.

And the last dumb thing for today. While I was writing in my phone, I didn't remember neither the translation of the word I wanted to use nor the word itself in my first language, so I absent mindedly tapped on the suggestions on the keyboard to see if I could remember it.

The result is hilarious:

[It was information about a geometric sequence of events together there is a vampire in Skyrim his name is Cho Kyuhyun leete to get used to it was a good day for you guys to come up with a plan for the time being this is the one I got from the start of the year]

Vampire!Kyuhyun in Skyrim, lmao

If I were more creative, I could master up some crackfic based on that paragraph. Sadly, I can't come up with anything.

I'd love to read it, so if any of you my readers comes up with something and wants to share it, please send me the link.

Thank you for reading, see you (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)