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Flowers are Meant to Wither

Jung Wheein, who’s an art student, is barely surviving the first semester of college. She enjoys it, though, her class. One time, she accidentally entered the wrong classroom; the subject was mathematics. Thankfully, the professor didn’t notice her presence at the back, but Ahn Hyejin did. 

 

Ahn Hyejin was the total opposite of Wheein. If you put her in a room full of strangers, in 30 minutes she already knew them. She expresses herself freely and enthusiastically. However, on the other hand, Wheein doesn’t know what exact words she wants to use whenever she’s talking. She was afraid that people would misunderstand her. That’s why she expresses herself through her art. 

 

After the incident, Hyejin and Wheein got close. Wheein knew Hyejin since they were in middle school. Hyejin is like an art where the sculpture took their time to sculpt her, and Aphrodite herself blessed such beauty to her; at least that’s what Wheein thinks. 

 

Wheein admires Hyejin from afar. She was frustrated one time when she ran out of ideas for her art, until she noticed Hyejin passing by.It gave her an idea of what the missing piece of her art was; it was a flower.

 

“Aren’t you sleepy?” Hyejin asked Wheein; it’s already 3 in the morning. The latter only hums as a response; she’s paying attention to the eyes. Wheein has been busy for the whole week. At some point, Hyejin thought that Wheein had already moved to her apartment and ghosted everyone. Not until she got a message from her at five o'clock in the morning.It made Hyejin smile. Hyejin decided to stay at Wheein’s apartment to see how she’s doing and to make sure she’s alright. Hyejin knows that Wheein overworks herself whenever she’s driven to finish her art.

 

Wheein handed a piece of paper to Hyejin; it was a drawing of two girls in a room; one’s looking at her notebook, and the other’s holding a sunflower. Hyejin isn’t confused yet, but she’s curious. Why? Hyejin didn’t speak; she remained silent. She lets Wheein speak. “Why?” asked Wheein. They had the same question. At least for now. Wheein sighed. By the look of it, she’s trying to think of what she should say next. She would be able to speak because she gave Hyejin a drawing. She drew it one month ago when Hyejin stayed at her apartment for 3 days. Speaking to Hyejin must be easy for Wheein. It should be.

 

“Why? Why did you talk to me back then? How did you notice when I wanted the world to not see me? Why now, Hyejin?” Wheein realizes her feelings for Hyejin. The admiration back then grew deeper whenever they talked, whenever she heard Hyejin laugh, whenever Hyejin would've stared at the canvas together with Wheein when she’s struggling to paint, when she’s having an art block. Wheein hates being confused. She’s been thinking about this since last month. She realized that she fell deeply in love with Hyejin when she realized how much she admired Hyejin’s beauty, to the point where she wouldn’t dare compare her to the art she did before; she wouldn’t dare compare her to the paintings of Vincent Van Gogh. What she feels inside isn’t envy whenever her heart aches because of her friend; she doesn’t envy Hyejin because of her personality or how free Hyejin can be. Her heart aches whenever she looks at the latter because she can’t touch her and memorize each part of Hyejin, even the broken ones. 

 

Hyejin gave her a smile; it was a genuine one. She has never seen her smile like this around other people. Perhaps Hyejin had been admiring Wheein before, the moment she saw her at the middle school, but was too shy to approach her because she had never seen Wheein up close, not until Wheein accidentally entered the wrong class. Where she sat next to Hyejin. Was it too late for the both of them?

 

Hyejin handed Wheein a piece of paper; it’s Wheein’s art. It’s a sunflower. Hyejin thought it was Wheein’s favorite flower. When Hyejin passed by Wheein in middle school, she saw how Wheein smiled when she started to paint something on her canvas. Hyejin didn’t ignore it. After her class, she went to the spot where Wheein was painting earlier that day. She thought maybe she could approach her and tell her how much she liked her art, sketches, and paintings. How much she adores Wheein’s smile because, when Wheein smiles, her heart races. 

 

“I’ve seen you before, Wheein. I’ve seen it all. Not to sound like a creep, but I’ve seen how you almost cried because you thought you lost your sketchbook in middle school—the black one that you always carry with you instead of putting it inside your bag because you were afraid people would see it. I saw how anxious you were. I’ve seen how happy you were back then when you were able to finish your painting. A field of big bluestems and a sunflower stood out. At the time, I couldn’t understand why. Why was there a sunflower where everything was filled with big bluestems? Not until we became close. Not until you gave me this sketch. Sunflowers are your favorite flower, right? It will show how much you adore someone. After all, art helps you express what you feel. I thought it was Yongsun who you adored the most. You don’t have to say anything, Wheein. You don’t have to force yourself if it’ll make you upset. I understand everything.” Hyejin sighed.

 

The latter gave Wheein a hug and patted Wheein’s back. She gave Wheein a kiss. Wheein did not waste any time; she returned the kiss. Wheein is glad that her room has seen it all. The frustrated look on Wheein’s face one month ago, from a sweet smile because, finally, she was able to let out her feelings for Hyejin in front of the sketch that her mother gave her, made her keep going. 

 

Two months after that, Wheein noticed how Hyejin’s attitude had changed. It completely changed. It feels like she is staring at a stranger. She confronted Hyejin about it, but Hyejin only shrugged it off. 

 

One week after the confrontation, Wheein heard that Hyejin was in the hospital because of her condition. She blames herself. How come she did not notice? How can she be so dense about this? 

 

She visits Hyejin every day after her classes. She is hoping for her lover to get better. Wheein would often tell Hyejin that sunflower wasn’t her favorite flower, but because sunflowers remind her of Hyejin. Wheein also gives her paintings of sunflowers every day because she knows paintings of flowers won’t wither. She compares it to Hyejin. She thinks Hyejin will also be able to survive this and stay by her side. But flowers are still flowers, and they will still wither.

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