You don’t expect her to visit since you know how hectic her schedule has been in preparation for Red Velvet’s first subunit. But then again, she has always surprised you in more ways than one since the moment you met her in the practice room that was only big enough for the five of you to fit in.

“You don’t have to visit me every week, you know?” You say with a soft smile on your face. You try hard to act annoyed but the happiness in your eyes betray you.

“I just wanted to see you,” she goes straight into your arms and buries her head onto your neck. You hold onto her tightly as if you didn’t see her a few days ago.

That’s what Bae Joohyun does to you. Leaves you wanting more and more, more of her. And God knows that you can never get enough of her. 

You pull her towards your room because you know that she can only stay for a few hours before she has to return to the dorm and you also know that your mother wouldn’t stop hovering over Joohyun if she spots her.

She immediately notices the makeshift studio you built beside your bed. “I heard the cover you posted.” She finally settles on your bed and pats the empty space beside her as an invitation.

“Yeah? How was it?” She intertwines your fingers while looking at you as if you could never do wrong.

“I loved it. Seulgi even complained that I kept on playing it in between schedules,” you have to ground yourself for a moment because she actually beams at you. The smile that she always gives you when no one is watching. That damn smile that you always look for in a crowd full of strangers.

You just stare at each other for a few seconds with those stupid smiles on your faces before she breaks the silence. “Seungwan-ah, I may forget Joy’s TV appearances from time to time and Yeri may forget her daily schedules and yeah, Seulgi’s memory may be that of an 80-year old but we can never forget you and your voice.”

You bite down on your bottom lip to stop yourself from crying. She has not only listened to your cover, but she also read the caption you wrote. You know that you haven’t been transparent with the struggles you’ve been silently facing but you just don’t want to burden her with everything going on with her career.

“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”

“We were all in the practice room the other day and we had to keep repeating the songs because we can’t sing along to your verses. Sooyoung tries to brush it off but I always hear her mentioning your name as if you’re there with us. There’s no Red Velvet without you and it hurts that you’re not beside us on that stage but everyone’s willing to wait for you for as long as you need.”

You don’t know how she always knows what to say. “You didn’t have to come all the way here just to say that, you know,” you give her a small smile and you know that she understands that you’re not yet ready to talk about everything.

“I know, I just missed you.” She leans her head on your shoulders.

"I miss you too, but I don’t want you to doze off in between filming because you decided to waste your time with me instead of sleeping at the dorm.”

She pulls you down the bed and lays her head on your chest, “Everything has been so crazy lately and I’m always exhausted at the end of the day and I want nothing but to curl up next to you and wake up with your humming in the kitchen while baking a cake or a muffin for god knows who.”

You chuckle at her words because you won’t deny that all of SM has probably tasted your baked goods during the past few years. You’ve never been good at words and so, you express everything you can’t say through the cookies you sometimes bake at midnight when the pressure to always be perfect comes at you in waves. The pressure to always be the cheery and bubbly Wendy from Red Velvet.

She won’t admit it, but you can feel that she’s anxious about the subunit’s debut stage on Music Bank tomorrow and it’s also part of the reason why she decided to visit you at this hour. It’s always been like this; you give her what she wants without her asking and she tells what you need to hear before you even ask.

“I’ll be watching the broadcast tomorrow with my mandubong while shouting the fan chant as loud as I can.” She lifts her head and looks at you with the same shine in her eyes when she first confessed that she liked you as more than a friend.

“You don’t know how much your support means to me, baby,” you can’t help but feel giddy with the pet name especially since she doesn’t use it often because she feels like it “damages her ice queen façade” or whatever.

She eventually leaves but not before planting a delicate kiss on your lips, “You better not miss the broadcast Son Seungwan or else there will be no kisses for you for the whole month.” She tries to look stern, but she breaks into a smile before finally saying goodbye to you.

She’s almost at the elevator when you shout at her, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

She looks back at you and blows you a kiss for the nth time.

                                                                        ----
Your phone vibrates with a message from Seulgi.

“She needs you here, Seungwan.” 

Joohyun has always been one of the calmest and most composed members in Red Velvet in the past six years that you’ve been together. You will never see her pacing back and forth in worry before any performance but somehow this subunit debut feels different. She told you how much this subunit means to her and how long they’ve prepared for this debut. You couldn’t see her for weeks due to her schedules in between filming, recording, and practicing.

She had a shoot and a rehearsal the night before and yet she made it a point to still spend some time with you. You didn’t have to think twice about it before you called your manager to accompany you to Music Bank to surprise her a few minutes before their pre-recording.

You made sure to use the back entrance to steer away from the fans and cameras waiting outside. Your manager informs you that they’re just on stage for the pre-recording of the performance. You sit nervously on the lone couch at the farthest corner of the room while holding tightly to the small box of carrot muffins that you impulsively baked a few hours ago. It’s weird and a little off putting that you’re inside the dressing room and yet you’re not feeling frantic about an upcoming performance. You’re in a music show and yet at the same time, you’re not supposed to be here not for a few months at least. Your thoughts are interrupted when you see her by the doorway.

Because yes, you’d drop everything and anything for her.

She immediately sees you the moment she enters the door. Seulgi sends you her signature bear smile while pushing Joohyun to your direction.

“I thought I’d drop by and –“ you didn’t even get to finish your sentence because she attacks you with a bone crushing hug. “Baby, I can’t breathe,” she pretends not to hear you and you feel her sighing happily onto your neck.

“You weren’t answering my texts and I almost thought that you forgot about the debut stage today,” she gives you a playful frown and jabs a finger to your chest to emphasize her point.

“I would’ve spoiled the surprise if I replied to your messages,” you envelope her tiny figure in your arms and sways her from side to side as if promising her that you won’t go anywhere this time.

I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. This is your unspoken promise to her after the accident.

“Good thing you’re here, Seungwan-ah. Unnie has been restless the whole day,” Joohyun glares at Seulgi, urging her not to continue whatever she’s about to say. You silently retreat to the corner of the room as they touch up their make-up for the encore stage. You can’t help but notice how Joohyun keeps on looking at you through the mirror like she’s waiting for you to disappear anytime. You keep on sending her encouraging smiles to reassure her that-

I’m here. I’m not going anywhere

Everyone gathers in front of the TV to watch the subunit’s debut stage. She clings next to you and even without words, you can feel that she’s more nervous than she’s letting on. Irene may be known as the ice princess in public but Joohyun is the most caring and dedicated woman you’ve ever met. She cares for people so deeply that words are no longer needed to prove herself to anyone.

“You did so well, baby,” you can’t hide the pride in your voice because you’re in awe of the talent that Joohyun rarely gets the chance to showcase in Red Velvet. She’s more than just a pretty face and it’s finally time for the world to recognize that.

She buries her face onto your neck and whispers softly, “Thank you for being here.” You have to hold yourself back from kissing her with the amount of people around, so you settle with squeezing her hand three times saying-
 

I love you.