“You’re not supposed to be here,” the familiar low voice hissed. He was not happy to see you.

“And when did I ever listen to you?” you chuckled even though you knew he wasn’t going to find it funny.

Mingi took his head, eyebrows furrowed as he tried to focus on the task at hand.

“That’s going to get you killed one day,” he said, but you ignored his words.

“Easy there,” you warned when he was a little too harsh on your skin. Your jaw was clenched, hands fisted on the edge of the table you were sitting on.

Mingi kneeled below you as he cleaned the fresh wound on your calf.

You had been assigned to the east part of the city with your usual partner. The night was going fine. It was rather peaceful, actually. All you had to was deliver the package before one. 

Simple.

You’ve done more complicated tasks before.

However, they cornered you too fast. The sound of weapons being unsheathed filled your ears and your sight was soon clouded with rising smoke. You barely had enough time to pull out your weapon, pressing your back against your partner’s as they retrieved their own weapon. 

The package was in a bag slung around your torso. You couldn’t lose it.

Perhaps if you had been more focused you could have quicker reflexes. Maybe if he wasn’t on your mind, you wouldn’t have a deep gash down your leg.

Mingi didn’t reply to your warning, but the pressure he was using to wipe the blood on your leg eased. 

“Want to tell me how you got this?” Mingi questioned and tossed the soiled rag in a nearby bin. There were other rags in there, each stained with your blood. 

“Not really,” you murmured. 

Mingi stood up to his full height and you had to crane your neck to look at him.

“We don’t need the small talk, right? You can just finish your job and I’ll go.”

Mingi stared at you for a second, eyes flashing with annoyance. You were probably pushing his buttons, but you couldn’t find yourself caring about that. 

“Yeah,” he said through clenched teeth. “My job.”

He scoffed at that. It wasn’t his job to tend to your wounds, but he found himself doing it more often than he would’ve liked. 

Despite his cold demeanor, he picked you up gently. Since your partner was occupying the bathroom getting his own wounds cleaned by one of Mingi’s friends, Mingi carried you to the kitchen. He rested you on the counter so that your injured leg was hovering over the sink. It wasn’t the most sanitary for the kitchen, but Mingi didn’t seem to be bothered. 

Mingi the water and washed his hands. Per your request, he remained silent as he cleaned your injury properly. 

Mingi’s lips were a jar while he worked on your calf. His dark brown hair was straight and hung in front of his forehead. His locks weren’t long enough to hide his eyes, but you liked it more this way. You could see his face better.

His usually crescent moon eyes and gummy smiles were absent from his facial features. He wore a stone-cold expression, which made you feel slightly intimidated under his gaze. One of Mingi’s talents was being able to appear like a giggly baby one second and then a baleful foe the next. Yet in both scenarios, you couldn’t stop your heart from racing a little faster at his striking features. He was definitely handsome.

But you would never tell him that now. Perhaps in the past, but not anymore.

“Can you move over there?” Mingi asked, voice void of emotions as he gestured behind him. It was the island part of the kitchen. 

“Why don’t you just move me yourself?” you challenged. Your eyes refocused on his face, trying to pull yourself from your thoughts.

“Yn,” he sighed as if all his energy had been drained from staying awake three days straight. You were really pushing him over the edge.

You relented at his tone, not really wanting to be on his bad side more than you already were. 

“Alright, alright,” you yielded and carefully swung your legs down. Mingi lingered around you, hiding his frown as he watched you wobble to the island. He forced his attention away from you and left to grab his other supplies.

When he came back, you were sitting on the island as instructed.

One by one, he set aside his first-aid items. You held your breath when he started to thread a needle.

“Is that necessary?” you asked and tried to keep your voice even. You only had to have stitches once, but the pain had made you never want to experience it again. You could already feel your body tensing up at that thought.

Mingi turned to you while pulling the material through the needle’s eye.

“The cut is deep, so yes.” 

Mingi watched you attentively. His shoulders eased slightly at your nervousness. You were tough, but even you had your vulnerable moments. Mingi had seen yours more than you probably knew.

Mingi grabbed a clean towel; he rolled it up and then handed it to you.

“Bite down on this,” he said softly.

No longer in the mood to argue, you took the towel and put it between your teeth.

Your eyes averted from Mingi as he started the sutures. You bit the towel harshly to keep your whimpers at bay.

Even when Mingi was mad at you, he would always be there for you. 

You wanted to hate that.

You wanted him to push you away. Maybe even demand you never come back to this part of the city because he knew people like you were never welcomed. People like you who were from the west; especially people affiliated with dangerous groups like yourself. You wondered why he kept letting you come back to his hideout.

His friends were placid. They weren’t involved with the crime world. They didn’t start wars with other people, and they didn’t do any illegal trading. Yet just being associated with you could bring them danger.

Sometimes, you wish you never met him outside that cafe a year ago. You wished he wasn’t so friendly and willing to help anyone in need. Like now, you had encountered dangerous people who caused you harm. Mingi had found you stumbling toward the restaurant and instantly went to help you. He didn’t know why you were hurt, nor did he know who had caused you pain. He just wanted to help.

And what he didn’t know for three months was that you were involved with a hostile group. 

He didn’t believe you at first–insisting to drop the joke. Though after a few more explanations, his smile dwelled down to a deep frown. You could tell he wanted to kick you out, but something inside him didn’t. 

Until two months later.

His friends weren’t happy with you around and they didn’t like the possibility of you bringing them trouble. They had been able to stay in the dark, not meddling with anyone’s business. They wanted to keep it that way.

It’s not until you were followed one day, that they were attacked. Luckily, no one was badly injured since the attacker was outnumbered. Even though Mingi’s friends weren’t a part of criminal activities, they still trained in combat in case they needed it. They knew no group could ever truly be safe in this town.

Though, that was the breaking point of you seeing Mingi.

You hadn’t seen him since.

And you swore to yourself you wouldn’t have gone to their hideout tonight. You tried to escape the ambushers without any other help, but your partner was more injured than you. You couldn’t both run in your conditions.

Mingi’s hideout was the closest and so without much thought, you rushed your partner to the building.

“Done,” Mingi announced and set aside the needle. He reached up and slowly removed the towel from your mouth.

Your jaw hurt from clenching it so hard.

“T-thank you,” you said and peered down at your calf. The stitches were neatly done. 

Mingi hummed. He stood there, not saying a word as he scanned your face. You opened your mouth to say something, but for once, you didn’t have anything to say.

Mingi broke the silence. “You can’t come here again.” 

His words had your walls crumbling for a second too long. Mingi saw the hurt in your eyes, could see the way your body tensed as your flight mode was activated.

, you wish your heart didn’t feel so heavy right now.

“I know,” you sighed and pushed back the heaviness in your chest.

You climbed off the counter and Mingi’s hand shot out to steady your unbalanced body. The warmth from his large hands burned through your clothes.

Part of you wanted to push him away, but another part of you wanted to collapse in his arms. To beg for him to take back those words. To beg for him to see you as more than the person who committed crimes in the dark.

But Mingi did none of that.

Once you were steady, he retracted his hands.

“Hongjoong said you need to leave once your friend gets bandaged. Should be about ten more minutes,” he spoke and averted his eyes from you.

You couldn’t stop the scoff that escaped your lips at his friend’s name. That man had probably corrupted Mingi into thinking you were some demon who came to destroy Mingi. Though, were you really as good as you thought? Deep down you knew Hongjoong held some truth in his opinion of you, but you couldn’t help but feel he was a big reason why Mingi stayed away from you.

“And what do you say, Mingi?”

At the way you spoke his name, he looked at you again. His expression was a mix of regret and sorrow. 

“I’m not in char-”

“I don’t care. I want to know what you want.”

“It doesn’t matter.” 

Mingi turned away, but you didn’t let that last. You placed a hand on the side of his face and made him look at you. Hesitantly, he shifted his eyes down to you.

“I don’t matter to you?” you questioned.

Throughout the months you had known him, you had grown closer. The months when he didn’t know who you really were felt freeing. His laugh was something you never knew you needed in order to brighten your day. Feeling his strong arms wrapped around your shoulders as he held you against him during movie nights had stirred unwanted emotions. Even his friends were cordial toward you then.

“Just leave them,” Mingi whispered, eyes softening at the way you looked at him. 

He didn’t need to elaborate on his sentence. 

As more days passed without seeing Mingi, you desperately wanted to. You wanted to leave the crime world behind and live as any average person your age. But there were still secrets you kept from Mingi. One being your family was tied to the group you were a part of. You would never be allowed to leave.

“You know I can’t,” you replied sullenly.

“Can’t or won’t?”

“Even if I did, I couldn’t be with you.”

Mingi’s lips tugged lower. 

“Why not? You said you wanted me,” Mingi argued. 

You recalled the touching night with you and Mingi sprawled over the couch. The TV light illuminated the small room, but neither of you was paying attention to what was playing. You were only focused on each other–focused on the words of the other as you each confessed how you truly felt. The kisses he gave you that night were scorched inside your memory.

“It’ll be dangerous. I’ll never be able to leave completely.”

“You don’t really want this, do you?” Mingi questioned and tried to step away. He wasn’t believing your words, conjuring them up as excuses. Though, you placed a hand on his waist to stop him.

“Don’t say that,” you pleaded quietly. 

“You would leave them then. Hongjoong said we could be together if you were-”

“He was lying,” you interrupted with a frown. You knew Hongjoong would never approve of you. Not after he found out about your affiliations. You wondered if he knew the truth as to why you couldn’t leave.

“Hongjoong wouldn’t-”

“Meet me next week at the cafe,” you insisted. You knew your time here was running out. No doubt one of his friends was bound to come to kick you out soon.

“I shouldn’t,” he mumbled sadly, reluctantly.

“One last time. It’ll be on me,” you offered, a forced smile forming on your lips as you tried to lighten the mood.

Mingi shook his head and dropped his gaze. You inhaled deeply and nodded. You had come to the conclusion that it wouldn’t work anyway. You could sneak around for months, yet it wouldn’t change anything. In fact, you were sure it would only cause more harm. You would grow more attached as the days passed. 

Mingi was right. Meeting at the cafe wasn’t a good decision.

“Then kiss me once more,” you said and pushed your body closer. “For the road?”

Mingi chuckled lowly, eyes raising to yours finally.

“For the road,” he echoed and lowered his head.

The kiss was light for a moment but soon turned more fervent. He moved his lips against yours quickly. You missed the way he kissed you so passionately. You missed the way he held you so dearly. Mingi had always poured his emotions into his kisses. You could sense the hurt he was feeling at knowing he wouldn’t be able to call you his. And while it hurt you, too, you had tried not to show that.

But maybe if you didn’t, he would know how serious you were about him.

Though before you could deepen the kiss further, a voice tore you both apart.

“We gotta’ go,” your partner spoke to you.

Mingi pulled away but kept his eyes on yours. You wished so badly you could see his smile one more time.

Instead, you gave him a small smile of your own. It was something you hoped he could remember you by… If he chose to remember you at all.

“Maybe I’ll see you around?” you said hopefully, yet you knew that was highly unlikely.

Mingi knew it too, but even with that knowledge, he replied, “Yeah… I’ll see you around.”

You both lingered in the other’s arms–both unable to find the strength to pull away.

“Yn,” your partner urged somewhere behind Mingi.

“Got it,” you sighed and reluctantly stepped away from the man you had grown fond of.

Mingi, being the caring person he is, quickly reached for you as you staggered. 

“It’s okay,” you reassured and patted one of his hands that gripped your waist.

You peeled his hands from yours and walked slowly to your partner. You put your arms around each other and trudged out of the hideout, grabbing the package that caused all this on your way. Mingi and his friends watched you silently as you both limped away using each other as support.

Each step you took was more painful than the previous, yet you couldn’t tell if that pain emitted from the wound in your calf or the wound in your heart.