—//—

 

“Heechul? Are you already home?” Jungsoo asked while taking off his coat and looked around to see if Heechul was at home too. 

 

Silence... 

 

“He already texted me.” He whispered, pulling out his phone from his coat.

 

Jungsoo once again, looked around and double check if there was a sign of Heechul but no, he was all alone inside of Heechul's apartment. 

 

“Why is he not answering my call?” Jungsoo mumbled, trying to reach him out but Heechul didn't answer his call. 

 

He walked around and saw Kibok who was running towards his direction. Kibok suddenly jumped at him causing Jungsoo to fall.

 

“What's wrong? Where's your mom?” Jungsoo asked with a frown but Kibok suddenly barked at him and biting his shirt while pulling him somewhere.

 

Jungsoo picked Kibok up and went to Heechul's room. The door wasn't close and he could tell that there was a person inside since Kibok came out there. 

 

He just went inside and greeted him by a man who was siting at the edge of his bed and holding a knife. The knife was pointed at his wrist and slowly pressed against his skin, with a small amount of blood coming out.

 

Jungsoo immediately ran and snatched the knife from him. He sat down next to him and wiped the blood from his wrist.

 

“What happened?!” Jungsoo asked while looking at him but Heechul looked away and trying to avoid him.

 

Jungsoo already felt that something was wrong and he also knows that Heechul wouldn't tell him. 

 

On the other hand, Heechul finally looked at him and a smiled crept into his lips while the other one was busy wiping his blood and preventing it from coming out. 

 

“Heechul—” Jungsoo's words trailed off as he looked up to see Heechul but the man was already staring at him. 

 

“W-what happened to you?” Jungsoo tried again, using his calming voice and Heechul just shook his head.

 

He was so close to give up but then Jungsoo knew him better.

 

“Tell me, what's wrong? Did something happened at your work? Did you fought—”

 

“I saw you with someone else when i was about to visit you at your office. You were so happy and nice to her. You even opened the door for her and you both went somewhere.” Heechul informed, eyes were still fixed at Jungsoo. 

 

Jungsoo just smiled at him and softly caressed his cheek but then Heechul just stared at him and didn't even flinch when Jungsoo touched him.

 

“We had a sudden meeting with our investors and she's one of my our employees. Our investors wanted to meet us and they decided to have a lunch after our meeting.” Jungsoo calmly explained, reaching out Heechul's hand but he avoided it, pushing it away from him.

 

Heechul looked at him with a disgust look and suddenly smirked at him.

 

“Get out... I want to be alone.” Heechul said, shoving Jungsoo away.

 

Jungsoo stood up and trying to grab Heechul but he failed, Heechul was very consistent to push him away.

 

“Babe, let me explain. Do you think I'm cheating on you? Babe...” Jungsoo begged but again, Heechul just stared at him.

 

Heechul wasn't like this before but one day, Heechul became paranoid and he would even try to scared Jungsoo by cutting his wrist, taking a sleeping pills and threatening him that he would kill himself.

 

“You already did once, right?” Heechul replied, stood up from his seat and when Jungsoo tried to approach him, Heechul stepped back until his back already hit the wall. 

 

“I was drunk when that happened and i didn't mean to do that. Look, I'm really sorry—” Heechul cut him off.

 

“I already forgave you, didn't i? But Jungsoo, look what you did to me....” Heechul whispered, his eyes were wet and tears were about to fall as he suddenly remembered what Jungsoo did to him.

 

Heechul bit his lower lip and shutting his eyes tightly. This wasn't him—He missesd the old version of him but he couldn't bring himself back.

 

“Your love made me crazy, Jungsoo. You kissed and almost ed someone else and you thought it was really okay? Sorry ain't enough, Jungsoo....” Heechul paused, tears streaming down from his eyes.

 

“You already said 'Sorry' and i forgave you but look at me now. This ain't me, Jungsoo—not this obsessed and crazy guy! I loved you....i still do.” Heechul added, opening his eyes and looked straight into Jungsoo's eyes.

 

Jungsoo wanted to embrace him but he couldn't. He knows that what he did was disgusting and he couldn't blame Heechul because what he had done was unforgivable. 

 

Jungsoo's company had a party and Jungsoo got drunk. Someone texted Heechul to pick him up there because Jungsoo couldn't drive himself anymore. Heechul did, he drove off and saw Jungsoo kissing someone else and their shirts were already removed/gone—topless. 

 

Jungsoo held her face and shoved his tongue inside of —While the girl slowly wrapped her legs around his waist and Jungsoo placed his hands on her legs to support her as Jungsoo lifted her. 

 

They were so close—close to making out. He lifted her, bodies were so close and the girl suddenly went down; pushed him against the wall and reached for Jungsoo's belt... 

 

Jungsoo kissed her again, down to her neck and left bite marks. The girl cupped Jungsoo's cheeks and kissed him harshly. 

 

Heechul chose to approached them and stayed silent until they both parted their lips; Jungsoo saw someone at the corner of his eyes, slowly turned his head and saw him there, standing in front of the two of them, watched them kissing and making out inside of Jungsoo's office. 

 

“A-are you done? I'm here to take Jungsoo home..” Heechul said, trembling and clutching his sweater as he looked at Jungsoo, who was completely startled.

 

“Heechul.... heechul, let me explain.” Jungsoo said, reaching him out and held his hand but Heechul just gave him a disgusted look.

 

“Excuse me, I'll go first. Drive safely.” The girl suddenly excused herself and exited from the scenario they both made. 

 

Heechul's eyes landed on her and following her until she disappeared from their sight. Jungsoo was still holding his hand and trying to explain himself but Heechul suddenly laughed at him. 

 

“H-heechul?” Jungsoo called him and looking at him but Heechul just kept laughing until he burst into tears.

 

He kept crying and already on his knees as if he was begging to Jungsoo—he didn't even yell or scream at him, he just cried until he felt numb.

 

“Heechul, let's go.... home” Jungsoo offered, Heechul turned his head and smiled at Jungsoo.

 

The next morning, Heechul distanced from Jungsoo and Jungsoo gave him space. He already apologized and Heechul forgave him—he thought everything's okay but then it only got worse.

 

Everyday, Heechul would go to his workplace to visit him or stalking him secretly. Of course Jungsoo was aware because some of their employees already saw Heechul who kept following him. He did nothing. Jungsoo let himself to be followed by his boyfriend to gain his trust again. 

 

People were accusing him being obsessed with Jungsoo because he would never let him go to somewhere else or if Jungsoo did without him knowing, he would follow him and do everything until Jungsoo come back to him. 

 

He could easily let Jungsoo go after what he did but Heechul didn't want it, he loves Jungsoo so much and seeing Jungsoo being away from him makes him crazy. After what Jungsoo did, he gave Heechul a reason to acted that way. 

​​

Heechul acted as if he really forgave Jungsoo but then, he kept threatening Jungsoo that he would kill himself. He became paranoid—of course what he'd seen was still haunting him although the girl already quit her job because Heechul threatened her. 

 

The way how they kissed, how thirsty they were for each other and how Jungsoo almost gave in to have a with her. He would never forget what they did behind his back. Heechul would never let him go because Jungsoo promised him but his words were useless and full of s.

 

Heechul became paranoid and couldn't even sleep at night, his own thoughts were slowly killing him—Jungsoo was his first love and supposed to be his last; although Heechul already lost his trust at him, he chose to stay. 

 

Jungsoo witnessed everything, how Heechul would cut his wrist, taking a lot of pills and how he tried to kill himself. Of course Jungsoo was scared too. He did something wrong and he regret everything.

 

Jungsoo loves him as much as Heechul. What he did was terrible and disgusted but he wanted to do what was the best for Heechul. He tried to gave him space but Heechul refused it. He did everything what he could but Heechul became cold. He didn't want to give up, he never thought that the one mistake he did could ruin their relationship they built for how many years. He wanted to win him back. 

 

Seeing how Heechul changed, hurt him a lot. Now, he witnessed Heechul who was trying to kill himself for the nth time.

 

“Chul, I'm sorry, okay? Please I'm begging.” Jungsoo begged, Heechul just shook his head and harshly wiped off his tears.

 

“You were drunk, okay but why did you kissed her? Jungsoo, i wasn't her!!!! You almost ed her and you asked me to believe you? Jungsoo... Did i do something wrong?” Heechul said, already sobbing.

 

“You did nothing wrong. I was the one who did something wrong. Please, stop blaming yourself.” Jungsoo answered, both of them were crying and in pain.

 

“Just confront me and say that you don't love me anymore like you used to!!!!!! Why did you cheat on me? Am i not enough, Jungsoo? Is it because i don't have what she have? You don't want anymore so you ed a woman to feel something new? Why....” Heechul yelled, words trailed off as he burst into tears again.

 

Jungsoo approached him and when he reached Heechul, he hugged him and cry along with him. 

 

It was his entirely fault—He made him like this because he ed up.

 

“Let me go... I don't want to see you tonight. You're disgusting.” Heechul softly said, pushing him away and averted his gaze from Jungsoo's. 

 

Jungsoo nooded and cupped his cheeks as he wiped off his wet cheeks.

 

“If you're tired of our relationship, just tell me—” Heechul cut him off

 

'Because i'm willing start again. I don't care if it takes a lot of time until you forgive me and you  trust me again' Jungsoo, he couldn't even finish his sentence when Heechul stopped him. 

 

“I'm not planning to let you go, Jungsoo. If I'm suffering, you should be suffering too. I'll never let you go. You will stay with me until the day we die. You've promised me, right? Pay for all the things you did to me and let's suffer together.” Heechul defended, slowly removed Jungsoo's hands and looked at him again.

 

“I... I'll stay with you.” Jungsoo said, this Heechul wasn't really him because the Heechul he used to know would never say these words to him.

 

“Leave.” Heechul said, pointing out the door and waiting for Jungsoo to leave.

 

“You're still bleeding...” Jungsoo reminded, looking down at his wrist; blood was still dripping.

 

“Why do you even care? I bet you're just waiting for my death so that you can another women. I feel nothing. What you did is more painful than this wound.” Heechul shrugged off, smirked at him.

 

“I'll just stay outside and call me if you need something. Please, don't do that again, okay? Stop overthinking and you should rest now.” Jungsoo said, not minding of what Heechul said and just kissed him on his forehead.

 

Jungsoo made his way and slowly walked away from him not until he turned around and smiled from ear to ear while looking at Heechul. 

 

“Goodnight, i love you.” Jungsoo said but Heechul didn't respond to him and stared at him blankly.

 

Until Jungsoo finally left, Heechul sat down on the bed and observed the cut he did, a lone tear escaped from his eye.

 

“Welcome to hell.” Heechul whispered as he looked at himself in the mirror and a smile suddenly formed into his lips.

 

Love made him crazy,
He was willing to do everything to make Jungsoo suffer.

 

People say 'He's gone too far this time'
But little did they know, what Jungsoo did was worse than him. 

 

Losing his mind over Jungsoo, 
he was willing to lose his mind and waste his time to achieve whatever he wanted. 

 

He wanted to give him a second chance but 
the memories of them were still haunting him and it was his worst nightmare. 

 

Jungsoo was like a drugs and he was willing to use whatever weapon he could have for the rest of his life as long as Jungsoo would still stay with him—to their relationship.

 

Love made Heechul crazy, paranoid and obsessed,  don't blame him.