—//—

 

“YAH CHO KYUHYUN!!!! GIVE ME BACK MY DAMN PHONE!!!!” Heechul shouted, Kyuhyun just shook his head and he sighed, observing how drunk Heechul was, making him out of his mind too.

 

“Hyung, how many alcohol did you drink? You know that drinking isn't good for your health, right? You've been doing this when yo—” Kyuhyun didn't even finish what he was trying to say when Heechul slammed his hand on the table.

 

“You're not my doctor! Are you taking med course, huh? As far as i remember, you were my drinking buddy last year but you suddenly refused to have a drink with me, why tho?” Heechul reminded, there was a disappointment on his face when he tried to meet Kyuhyun's eyes.

 

“Ryeowook doesn't want me to drink again, Hyung. He knows how much i love drinking but he also know how much it can affect me.” Kyuhyun said in full of confidence that made Heechul laughed.

 

“ your boyfriend! Anyway, just go home and leave me alone. I'm not in the mood to entertain someone here. Just go and give my phone back” Heechul calmly said as he drank his last beer.

 

Kyuhyun looked at him for a longest time. 'this ain't him' he thought, although he wanted to stay with Heechul and accompany him—Ryeowook needs him too. His boyfriend was already waiting for him. 

 

“I want to stay but Wookie is already waiting for me at my apartment. Hyung, stop drinking, okay? Are you okay? Is something bothering you, again?” Kyuhyun managed to asked him even tho Kyuhyun was in rush.

 

Heechul smiled at him, held his hand then shook his head. He wasn't okay but knowing that there was someone, who was still worried about him makes him happy.

 

“Ssssh.. Just go. I'm okay and i just want to get drunk tonight. Promise, I'll be home in an hour” Heechul lied, smiling to assure him that what he said were all true.

 

“Call or text me, okay? Be home safely, huh? I really need to go.” Kyuhyun reminded him again, Heechul just nod at him. Kyuhyun placed his phone on his side and hugged him before leaving the club.

 

As soon as Kyuhyun left, he ordered one beer and planning to get lost for a moment because the pain was still haunting me and unbearable. 

 

He was planning to get lost and forget all the pain—memories that full of pain. 

 

“He's doing good, huh? Look what he did to me, i'm a ing mess and pathetic one” Heechul laughed, looking around to see if he could get a man—stranger men inside the club. 

 

Kyuhyun was on his way to meet Ryeowook but his mind was still on Heechul, he knew that man wouldn't stop drinking until he got drunk and collapsed himself because he drank too much. 

 

They were really close and had each other's back and although he was already in a relationship, Heechul was still one of his priority because that man was fragile and needed someone to lean on. He witnessed everything—his pain, tears and miserable happenings on his life. 

 

Kyuhyun knew who Heechul needed the most, even tho he would regret it in the next morning, he still tried. 

 

“Hello?”

 

“Can you go to Heechul hyung? I left him at the club because i have plans tonight. He's alone and already drunk but he didn't want to go home.” Kyuhyun straightforwardly said, not minding if he was being disrespectful but he was the one who need Heechul the most. 

 

“Text me the address and i'll go there.”

 

“Okay. Anyway, he's still living there and you can just leave him when he's already inside. You don't need to stay there and watch him sleeping again. Don't hurt yourself too much, Jungsoo hyung.” Kyuhyun said, a smile formed into his lips, a sad smile knowing that Heechul and Jungsoo were still in pain and both suffering. 

 

“Tsk. Never. Gonna hang up now. I'm leaving” Jungsoo said, as he hung up their phone conversation.

 

“Such a coward. He's still in love with him but decided to ended everything between the two of them. So what, if his parents already found out about their relationship? It's just between them and it's their relationship, why would he let them to decide? If my parents didn't approved to our relationship, i would probably run away from them and be with Ryeowook. Poor thing, Jungsoo hyung would always do whatever his parents wanted to do even if it's all about Heechul hyung.” Kyuhyun said to himself as he leaned back and sighed deeply. 

 

“Tss.. if only i have a chance, i will just ask Ryeowook to come over and stay with Heechul hyung but Ryeowook want us to have a date tonight.” Kyuhyun added and gave the address to his hyung. 

 

When Kyuhyun already sent the address, he drove immediately and went to his destination. 

 

As soon as he got the message, Jungsoo immediately went there and welcomed his sight of a lot of people who were smoking, dancing and probably doing dirty things. He didn't mind, tho. His mind was to find Heechul.

 

He looked around and saw someone who was sitting alone. Everyone was enjoying their night but him, he looks miserable.

 

Jungsoo walked in his direction, not minding other people who kept blocking his way. He finally reached the guy, who was still drinking and at the same time, who was also sleeping.

 

“Hey, let's go home.” Jungsoo whispered, held his hand to wake him up.

 

“Hmmm” Heechul hummed and whined, pushing Jungsoo away

 

“Heechul, I've already told you that drinking is bad for—”

 

“Shut up!!! I'm sleeping” Heechul cut him off and placed his index finger on Jungsoo's lips

 

On that move, Jungsoo smiled and looked at Heechul, adoring the guy who was in front of him.

 

“My head hurts!! I feel like i'm throwing up!! Fu—” Jungsoo helped him to stand up and Heechul held him tightly as if he was lost and a kid. 

 

Heechul leaned himself on Jungsoo's chest, shutting his eyes off and smiled for a while.

 

“You smell like my ex boyfriend.” Heechul giggled, Jungsoo smiled sadly and wrapped his arms on his waist, guiding him outside.

 

He helped Heechul to sat down on the bench before leaving him to call a taxi. 

 

“Chul, let's call a taxi, 'kay? Just wait here and i'll be back” Jungsoo said as he was going to leave, Heechul held him tightly and eyes suddenly opened, shook his head. 

 

“Don't leave” Heechul said, and a tears formed oh his eyes while looking at him.

 

Jungsoo panicked, he sat down beside him and wiped his tears. 

 

“Why are you crying? Shhh, I'm here.” Jungsoo tried to calm him down and caressing his face lovingly.

 

He missed this, he missed everything about him but sadly, he couldn't bring back the time. They needed this; for their own sake.

 

“You smell like my Jungsoo. Please stay a little bit longer and be with me” Heechul whispered, leaning on his shoulder until he slowly closed his eyes.

 

—

“Hey, your passcode?” Jungsoo shook him a little to wake him up and Heechul whimpered, snuggled up on him in response. 

 

They were finally at Heechul's apartment and waiting outside because Jungsoo wasn't sure if his passcode was still the same or he already changed it. 

 

“Chul, you need to tell me your passcode. We both need to rest especially you” Jungsoo simply said, Heechul raised his head a bit; his eyes were still closed. 

 

“0701” Heechul answered back, placed himself on Jungsoo's chest this time and Jungsoo held him tightly.

 

“So, it's still the same? You never changed it, huh? It's still my birthday.” Jungsoo sadly said before he finally opened his apartment. 

 

As soon as they were inside, Jungsoo guided him on his bedroom while his dog was following them around but Kibok didn't bark at him. He knows him and it look likes the dog missed him too. 

 

He helped him to lie down and tucked him under the blanket. Heechul already settled himself in a comfortable position to sleep and hugging pillows tightly.

 

“Should i change his clothes? He smells alcohol.” Jungsoo said, standing up and went straight to Heechul's closet.

 

It was still the same, some of his clothes were still there and it looks like Heechul was still waiting for him to comeback. 

 

“Jungsoo?” Heechul frowned, as soon as he opened his eyes and saw someone inside of his room—he saw a blurry imagine but it was familiar.

 

Jungsoo turned around and saw Heechul who was already sitting on his bed, looking at him for a longest time—blinking his eyes while pointing him out.

 

“Jun.....jungsoo?” Heechul called out, he tried to stood up but he failed, thankfully, Jungsoo was too quick to catch him when he fell onto the bed, grabbing his waist and held him closed.

 

“Careful!” He scolded, Heechul just smiled at him.

 

Heechul poked his cheeks and sniffing Jungsoo's perfume because he missed it, he missed everything about the man who was beside him. 

 

“Are you for real or this is just a dream? It's really impossible for you to come here especially when you're doing good without me. I guess I'm just dreaming but it doesn't matter, thank you for visiting me on my dreams, Jungsoo” Heechul sadly said, leaned forward and kissed him. 

 

Jungsoo didn't respond, instead he let Heechul to take him—take him even tho it pained him a lot.

 

“I love you, Jungsoo.” Heechul said, laying down and settled himself once again.

 

Jungsoo sat down beside him and held his hand; he missed him to death but love wasn't enough for him to stay—his reasons were all ed up because he wanted to build a family; with a mom and a child also it was his mother's wished. 

 

Jungsoo was afraid, afraid of everyone that's why he chose to left Heechul. He thought, having a family with Heechul would take so many risks and he wouldn't able to handle it all especially some of his family were already pressuring him and against of his relationship with Heechul.

 

As he said before he left Heechul, It was for their own good but no, it was only for his own good. 

 

“Chul, sorry for leaving you. You know how much i loved you but I was scared. I'm not confident enough and my mother was pressuring me to settle down. Although i kept refusing her, she kept insisting because she wanted to have a grandchildren. I've tried to came out but she doesn't want to believe that I'm not straight and had a boyfriend. I don't want her to hurt you, Heechul. I had no choice but to left you. Heechul, please forgive me, huh? Please.” Jungsoo softly whispered while caressing Heechul's face.

 

Heechul was sleeping peacefully and it made him happy because at least, he had a chance to saw him again even tho, Heechul wouldn't remember this night. 

 

“Jungsuuuu~ I'm okay, you.... you don't have to worry about me anymore.” Heechul said, his eyes were still close and smiling from ear to ear. 

 

“You're strong, right? You're very strong” Jungsoo replied, leaned forward and kissed him for the last time.

 

Before he left, Jungsoo observed the man who was still sleeping and noticed a lone tear suddenly appeared on Heechul's left eye. Jungsoo wiped it off and smiled sadly. 

 

“I'm leaving now, Heechul. Let's not hurt each other anymore, okay? Just be happy and promise, i'll be happy too.” Jungsoo, after he bid his last message, he gave him a few gentle squeezes and kissed him on his forehead.

 

He earned a very loud groaned from Heechul and shifted his body, Jungsoo was now facing his back and Jungsoo just shook his head, after fixing the blanket. 

 

“Sweet dreams” Jungsoo said, he already went outside and left Heechul alone, again.

 

—

“Jungsoo?” Heechul immediately got up from his bed and looked around if he was with someone else.

 

When he noticed that he was alone, he just sighed and lie down again—hugging his pillow and slowly closed his eyes.

 

“I thought he came back but i guess it was just a dream. Although it felt so real, it was really impossible at all.” Heechul said to himself and shook his head in disbelief.

 

'I guess it was just a dream but it felt so good. How i wish, i just stayed there and never wake up again.' Heechul thought, he had a lot of thoughts but chose to ignored everything until he fell asleep again, hoping Jungsoo would be there again on his dreamland.