It was the perfect weather for a funeral. The sun shone bright but not too strong. A soft breeze cooled their skin. The sky was so beautiful the clouds didn't dare to alter it. Most importantly, it wasn't raining. They weren't in a movie. They didn't need the rain to know they were supposed to cry. 

            Not that Siyeon was going to anyway. It wasn't the first time she was confronted with death. She had lost her parents first, when she was still young. It was how things were supposed to be, parents should always leave first, that's what she told herself years later when her first girlfriend asked her why she hadn't met her family yet. Although, if she was to be honest, she would have preferred if they had left her a little later. Maybe her mother could have helped her deal with her break up when that same girlfriend left her for "not sharing enough." 

            She had shared enough though. She had said "I love you," and she had let her move some of her stuff in her apartment. She had shared lunch breaks and Sunday afternoons, dinner parties and mornings in bed. They had laughed and played and made love on the sofa. Why couldn't this be enough? Why couldn't she live in the present and accept everything Siyeon was giving her then instead of looking for the past. For things that were buried too deep to be shared without consequences. 

            On that sunny day, she was saying goodbye to her grandmother. A low tremor rose from her stomach and immobilised her thoughts, turning her into a fortified shell. Those raw emotions were the reason she didn't cry. Siyeon had always felt like strong feelings weren't made to be shared. They were meant to be experienced alone and then buried in the archive of her memory where they would stay at her disposal for when her brain would decide to torture her. 

            Another couple of strangers bowed to her with fake words of condolences. They were whispering about her just minutes ago. Probably commenting on her appearance, assuming things they couldn't possibly know, judging her for not coming back sooner, when her grandmother was still alive, all the while omitting the fact that people like them were the reason she never came back after her parents' death. Those ignorants, condescending jerks who didn't know better than to shame her. 

            She still had to go through the banquet after that. Even more people kept coming to her, pretending to care. Siyeon just kept drinking wine. How she wished this whole thing would be over. 

“You're the one who feels deeply. Your grandmother told me you would come to the funeral if for nothing else.” 

            Siyeon detached her gaze from her drink to glare at the stranger who had the audacity to talk to her as if she knew her. The young woman was smaller than her. Her black suit and straight ash-white hair gave her a maturity that contrasted with her sparkling mischievous eyes. She was probably younger than Siyeon, but not by many years. She held the scrutinizing attention with a smirk, visibly not affected by the heavy silence between them. 

“Excuse me, what’s your name?”

“Gahyeon, miss. My name’s Lee Gahyeon, nice to meet you.”

            Siyeon only offered an acknowledging hum and a forced smile, not bothering to give her name back. If this woman knew her grandmother, she already knew it anyway. 

“Were you close with her? My grandmother, I mean.” 

“I spent my afternoons at her place when I could. She said she needed company and she found me funny. In truth, she was the funny one. She talked about you a lot.”

            Siyeon quirked a brow. It was true that she was close with her grandmother when she was younger, but she didn’t think the old woman would still hold her dear after she left. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah.” Gahyeon nodded enthusiastically. “She was worried about you near the end. She must have felt she didn't have long. Once she said to me: 'When Singnie comes for my funeral, make sure she's all right. She feels things deeply, that one. She won't be taking it well.'”

            That last part added another drop in Siyeon’s pool of emotions. “When Singnie comes,” not if. “Singnie,” not Siyeon. All this time —How long had it been? Ten years?— All this time, her grandmother had never stopped loving her. Never held her responsible for leaving her behind. Never doubted her grand-daughter's love for her. She was the only person left of her family who hadn’t rejected her and now she was dead. Siyeon's vision started to blur. Gahyeon must have seen the emotional turmoil playing behind the other's eyes because she tapped her shoulder, concerned, and asked: 

“Do you need to leave? I think the ceremony lasted long enough, people will understand if you end it now.”

            And so that’s what they did. The people of the memorial home wrapped up the dishes and wine, most people were wanting to leave anyway, and Siyeon and Gahyeon waited until they were the only people left in the hall. The leftovers were taken care of easily, Siyeon was told she could leave. The question was where to? It was still early in the afternoon. It would feel suffocating to spend the rest of the day in her grandma's house. Sort through her things, throwing away the unnecessary, keeping the memories. Siyeon wasn't ready for that yet.

“Do you need company?”

            Did she? Siyeon studied the young woman next to her. Her eyes were sincere. Despite the fact that she was being kind only in regards to the deceased's last wishes, Gahyeon was the most genuine person Siyeon had met at this funeral. 

“I… don't want to go back to her place alone.”

“All right. I'll make a detour to change and meet you there.”

            The young woman her heels and exited the memorial home with quick short steps. Siyeon watched her leave, her mind pregnant with thoughts. She liked the easiness of their interactions. Without it, she felt like she could drown.

 

            They were both wearing warm casual clothes. The weather in October wasn't particularly bad, mostly dry with occasional sunshine and a reasonably cold temperature. The perfect weather to go on a walk, Gahyeon concluded. And so as soon as they met at Siyeon's grandmother's house, they took the country road that circled the fields and started walking. Silently. Eyes glued to the landscape to avoid staring at each other and make the thing awkward. The wind was a little strong. Sometimes a gush would bring strands of blond hair in front of Siyeon’s eyes and she would brush them off only for them to come back, blocking her vision. 

            Gahyeon assumed that her walking partner hadn't seen those fields in a long time, and she was right. It wasn't a landscape the young woman was seeing, it was her memories, slightly faded yet surprisingly vivid still. The closer they were getting to the house, the more vivid the images were. The gloomier too. From the times when she ran to catch Seojoon in the tall grass, to that late afternoon when a police car stopped in front of her grandma’s house. Siyeon couldn’t catch what they were saying to the old woman from the porch, but she had sensed it couldn’t be good. Then her grandma averted her teary eyes on her. 

            The porch of the house was in sight again. Their walk had lasted a little over an hour. Siyeon shook the memory out of her head. Gahyeon was still observing her. There was some concern in her eyes. For some reason, Siyeon didn’t like to see it there. 

“I bet you had better things to do today than making sure I’m not too depressed.”

“It’s fine. I booked the whole day just for you.”

Siyeon snorted. Aside from the fact that this sentence sounded extremely cheesy, the idea of a perfect stranger organising her day around her sounded absurd. 

“No, you didn’t.”

“I swear! Look.”

            Gahyeon got her phone out of her pocket and showed Siyeon her calendar app. On the day’s schedule there was only one thing: “make sure that Siyeon girl is ok.” Siyeon’s smile took a sadder curve. 

“So you're just honoring a promise made to the dead.”

“Like hell I am!” the younger snorted. 

Siyeon's brows frowned but curled in a smile at Gahyeon's lack of reverence. 

“She's dead. It's not like she's gonna haunt me.”

“I don't know about haunting,” Siyeon argued, “but she knew how to curse people. How to really curse them.”

            The old man Park, who lived not too far from her grandmother, spent one of the worst years of his life when the old woman found out he was deversing his trash in the back of her field. His cows suddenly caught a disease and he had to kill all his cattle to stop the spread. No one said anything, but he never threw his trash in the old woman’s field again. 

“Yeah, I heard the stories,” Gahyeon admitted. “Are you sure they're true though?”

“She never lied when it was important.”

            Siyeon was convinced of that. It was a harsh quality that her grandmother had, but an important one. 

            When she was nine, she lost her cat. Her parents had told her he had found a lover and had followed her somewhere nice, just for cats. The lover was a Hyundai Tucson and when the cat met her it was as if he had been struck by a car. Siyeon accepted the lie and repeated it to her grandmother who wasn't so inclined to lean into it. 

“Sweety, I'm sorry but I think your cat is dead.”

            Of course, the news had been a shock for the little girl. She had wailed for a good twenty minutes —back then she still knew how to do that— The hardest was to accept the truth. That her cat was dead and she would never see him again. That her parents lied to her without a single hesitation. Her grandma had held her in her arms for as long as the girl needed and then she asked her to follow her in the garden. They chose a large flat stone with a nice oval shape, they dug a little hole in the ground to make it stand erect, and then Siyeon picked flowers to make a crown to ornate the tombstone. 

“You see, Singnie, it's important to say goodbye properly.”

            They were back to the house. Gahyeon had followed Siyeon in the garden without a word until they were standing in front of the old grey stone. Someone had been taking care of it, getting rid of the moss, making sure it stood straight. Just as much as her childhood pet wasn’t buried there, her grandmother wasn’t there either. But seeing the tomb. Remembering her words. She would have said the same thing she had said then: “Sweety, I'm sorry but I think your grandma is dead.” Siyeon’s world collapsed. Her legs were cut from under her, her knees landed on the ground. That was when she started crying. 

 

***

 

“You don’t have to take care of me like that. I know that with what happened yesterday, it’s difficult to believe, but I’m fine.”

            They were sitting in front of each other across the old wooden table of Siyeon's grandmother's house. Gahyeon was drinking coffee from a bowl, something about needing her dose of caffeine, while Siyeon was sipping tea. 

            The younger one took a big gulp and put the bowl back on the table with a clunk. 

“You’re grieving, Siyeon. People tend to cry when they grieve. It was perfectly understandable.”

“Then why are you still here?”

“Because grieving doesn’t mean you’re fine.”

            And she lifted her bowl again to take another sip. Siyeon watched, perplexed. Everything about Gahyeon seemed exaggerated. Her big bowl of coffee, her wide curled smile, her kindness… Or was it really kindness? Siyeon wondered. But what else could it be, really? There was nothing to gain from helping her. 

“I’m starting to understand why you got along well with my grandmother.”

Gahyeon casted a quick questioning glance above her bowl. 

“Because I’m a caring young lady?”

Siyeon huffed, smiling. “Because you’re stubborn as hell,” she corrected. 

The younger shrugged. “Yeah, that too.”

            Siyeon’s smile grew larger. She liked this: the carefree attitude, the slight defiance in Gahyeon's posture, the derision. It was a nice change of pace from what she was used to. 

“How long were you with her?”

“Just the last year.  I came back here to take a break and I heard the stories about an old hag living alone in the middle of the countryside. People in town kept telling rumours and old stories, so I went investigating.”

“And then you stayed.”

“And then I stayed. Her company was better than theirs.”

            Siyeon agreed, although maybe not for the same reasons. She despised the townspeople as much as they judged her. Ever since she was fourteen. Her grandmother despised them too. She was a strong woman, fierce in her enmities, vocal in her disagreements. Outside Siyeon, she didn't have anyone else when they were still living together. 

“Thank you.”

Gahyeon looked at Siyeon, incredulous. A little “Huh?” accompanying her pout. 

“Because I couldn’t be there.”

The youngest's lips parted in a “aaah” of realisation. She flicked her hand dismissively. 

“You had your reasons. Grandma said you were better off in the big city. And after living here for a year, I couldn’t agree more. Small towns like this, it’s suffocating sometimes.”

            “Suffocating” was a good word. If Siyeon was fond of jokes, she would even say she felt as if she was trapped in a closet. She wondered if Gahyeon would understand. Maybe on the surface because she seemed smart enough for that. But would she really understand?

“Did she tell you why I left?”

            Their eyes met. Gahyeon seemed to hesitate. Siyeon's attitude had shifted a little. She couldn't hide that she was worried about the answer. Gahyeon's eyes ran away from the others'. 

“No, she didn’t.”

And she went back to staring at her bowl. Fidgeting with it, trying to keep her hands busy with something. 

“Good” Siyeon mumbled to herself. 

“So, how long are you staying?” Gahyeon changed subjects to keep the silence at bay. 

“Two weeks.”

“Really?” Her brows quirked slightly in disbelief. “That's a lot.”

“I had some days off to spend.”

            It was more than just that. Siyeon had been burying herself in her work for over a year. Minji, her superior, had basically begged her to take some more time off. Gahyeon couldn’t guess as far, but she could get the idea. It wasn’t hard to see that the woman in front of her was a workaholic. Everything in her screamed “responsible adult with nevroses.”

“And you're alone to deal with all the succession stuff?” 

“Grandma was the only one left from this side of the family. So, yes.”

            This was actually sad. Grieving alone was hard enough. Handling all the paperwork and legal obligations while doing it sounded like a recipe for depression. 

“Have you decided what you're going to do with the ashes?” Gahyeon continued asking. 

“Her testament says that she wants me to wait until the 31st of October and scatter them on Boreum Dal hill at twilight.”

“Halloween night. Damn, she really was a witch.”

They both chuckled despite the gravity of the situation. 

“It does sound creepy,” Siyeon admitted with a smile still painted on her lips. 

            “She's beautiful when she smiles.” Gahyeon caught herself thinking. Her eyes hovered over those lips for a few seconds before going back to Siyeon's eyes. If the other woman noticed, she didn't let it show on her face.

“Will you need help with anything?” 

“All the things I have to do need a certain amount of personal information and involvement. I'm afraid there isn't much you can help me with.”

“I'll be the distraction then.”

            Siyeon let out a smiling sigh. She had a feeling “no” wouldn't be accepted as an answer. 

 

***

 

“How was your day?” Gahyeon asked while sitting at the booth situated the farthest from the bar's door. 

            Siyeon looked tired. Her make up couldn't hide the bags forming under her eyes. Her blond hair was messier than the first days. She didn't seem to care as much about appearances anymore. She was wearing more casual clothes: jeans, loose jumpers, cardigans. It was interesting to note that when she didn’t have to dress formally, Siyeon liked anything comfortable, like that big loose scarf that was hiding half of her face. 

“I’m trying to sell the house but the real estate agent said it wasn’t going to be easy.”

“The witch stories thing again?”

Siyeon exhaled deeply. “Yes.”

“I don’t understand. Just because she lived alone in the middle of the woods and chose to have her ashes scattered on Halloween night doesn’t mean she was a witch,” Gahyeon commented ironically with a big laughing smile. 

            Despite being seriously tired of the situation, Siyeon laughed too, because what else could she do when faced with human stupidity? 

            It had been a week already. She had met with Gahyeon three more times during that span. Each time in the bar they were in. Each time lasting longer than the last. The older woman had noticed how some of the regulars looked at them and whispered to each other. It wasn't new to her, but a shard of guilt got stuck in her chest every time. Gahyeon didn't deserve to be lumped with her. 

            The white-haired girl followed where Siyeon was looking and saw the gossiping. 

“We can go somewhere else if you want.” 

Siyeon brought her attention back to Gahyeon. 

“You know another place?” 

“It’s a small town, I can't invent places. But we can go for a walk.”

“Is walking your solution to everything?” Siyeon asked, not without a pinch of mockery in her voice. 

“What if it was?” Gahyeon answered slightly offended.

            Siyeon didn’t know if she was faking it or not. She didn’t want to offend her if it was truly something that she liked. But also, her irritated pout gave Gahyeon the cutest puffy cheeks Siyeon had ever seen and it was really hard not to keep teasing.  

“Nothing,” she answered but couldn’t erase her smile. 

“It helps to focus and it's great for your lungs,” Gahyeon kept replying very seriously.

“I know. I was just teasing.” 

“I certainly hope you weren't complaining!”

Siyeon laughed. A laugh that was as beautiful as her smile. “Let's just go for that walk already.”

            They stood up at the same time the waiter was about to take their orders and headed to the outskirts of the town. 

            It was the beginning of the evening, the sun was already down. There was only a deep orange glow on the horizon and the yellow glare of the old street lamps scattered along the road, fixed to electric poles. Everything around them was a mass of darkness delimited by weak city lights in the middle of nowhere. There was an emptiness to the countryside once the lights were almost gone. Something menacing. If she had been alone, Siyeon would have gone home. But she wasn’t. Next to her, Gahyeon was calm, not the worried kind of calm, the comforting kind. Still, the silence felt too oppressive. 

“Is it because you like walking so much that you came here?”

“Hum? Yeah, I guess you can say that.”

            They fell into silence again. Gahyeon must have felt that Siyeon was uneasy because after a while she developed her answer. 

“I just really wanted a break from everything. My family, my friends, my classes.”

            The taller woman listened. She was surprised to hear some insecurity lying there. Maybe because Gahyeon had taken the time to help her get her head out of everything, Siyeon had built an idealised version of the other girl in her mind. But clearly there was a pain lingering beneath her words. Friends and family, why would someone take a break from them if they had a choice? Siyeon picked the least threatening item of the list. 

“You're a student?” 

“History major. I was supposed to pass my Master's degree to become a teacher, but I gave up.”

“You don't like studying anymore?” 

            It sounded like a genuine question, far from the barely hidden contempt the younger girl usually received when she told people she gave up on her studies for no real reason and without a back up plan. Siyeon was just trying to get to know her. There was no judgement between them. What was it her mother used to say? “Treat others the way you want to be treated.” That was what she had always done. Too bad most people couldn't return the favor. Siyeon did. Maybe that was enough. 

“I don't think uni's the problem.” Her thoughts trailed off. “I think I'm the problem.”

“Don't say that.” Siyeon's eyes were suddenly severe. “Whatever's going on in your life, I'm sure you're doing your best. Sometimes it's just ok to rest.”

            There were tears trying to make their way up to the corner of Gahyeon's eyes. She knew what Siyeon was saying was true. She knew she had made the right decision for herself when she left. It was just that, when you’re the only one telling yourself the truth, you start to doubt it. All those hours walking alone, trying to figure out a plan for her future, trying to convince herself that she was on the right track, that she knew how to turn things around, that she wasn’t a failure for not being able to meet with any of her parents expectations, they were coming back to her full force. 

“Thanks,” Gahyeon said in a small, broken voice. 

            Her gaze was running away from the person next to her. She swore if she started crying for real she would lock herself in her room and never come out of it. After acting so cool in front of Siyeon the other days, she couldn’t just crumble like that in front of her. 

            Her whole body shivered. It was because of the stress, but Siyeon interpreted that differently. 

“It’s getting really cold. We should get back.”

            The student nodded and turned to walk back to town. Her strategy was to talk as little as possible to avoid showing any cracks in her voice. She hoped that by the time they would arrive, she wouldn’t want to cry anymore.  However, the little drops of tears forming at the corner of her eyes were contradicting her plans. 

            Siyeon saw it. She knew damn well what was happening. She also knew from experience how crying in front of people could be so unnerving. For some it wasn't such a big deal. But for others it was a display of vulnerability. There was always a primal instinct to never show weakness in front of strangers and also a more social concern to not bother people with one's unnecessary emotions. She took her scarf and wrapped it over Gahyeon's shoulders. 

“Take this. You're going to catch a cold.”

            The younger girl's eyes went wide. She felt the blood rushing to her cheeks and tucked her head in the scarf to avoid showing how flustered she was. Warm. That's how it felt like to be taken care of. To have a woolen scarf loosely wrapped around her neck. To be with Siyeon. The tears stopped after a few minutes. Dried by love. 

            They went back to the center of town. It was quiet. Only a few people left in the bar and some night owls going grocery shopping half an hour before closing. 

“Where's your car?” Siyeon asked. 

“I didn’t take my car.”

“How did you come here from your house then?” 

Gahyeon stared at the older woman with a defensive glare. She knew the answer would owe her some mockery. 

“Don't tell me you walked.”

Gahyeon's heavy sigh was enough of an answer. Siyeon laughed again at the reapparition of this running topic. 

“Stop laughing at me!”

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry.” Siyeon calmed herself with a succession of slow breaths. “Do you want a ride home?” 

The student hesitated. Not for long though, for the biting cold attacked her skin. 

“If you don't mind.”

Siyeon shook her head with a smile. “Come.”

            The car stopped in front of Gahyeon's house. Or to be precise: her parents' secondary house that they barely used anymore. The car door opened. Siyeon waited for her passenger to leave. Gahyeon hesitated, then turned to the driver's seat. 

“Do you want to get  a coffee inside?” 

            Siyeon froze. Not long enough for the other girl to notice but long enough for her to be self-conscious about every twitch of her lips, every millisecond of doubt, every nervous tick she knew she had when she got nervous. 

“I mean… I made you walk in the cold dark night and we didn’t even have coffee. It really sounds like a losing night for you,” Gahyeon tried to make things less weird. 

“I’ll take that offer.”

            They ended up on a comfy leather couch around a coffee table and two big mugs in their hands because apparently Gahyeon didn’t like to have her drinks in any form of container that wasn’t double the standard size. 

            There wasn't a lot of furniture in the house. Mostly old things that had been chosen more for their functional aspect than for their esthetic quality. Still, Gahyeon had managed to bring a little of herself in those empty rooms. The way it was laid out made it look comfy, as if someone was actually living there. There were some plants near the windows, a vintage poster of Howl's Moving Castle in the living room, tons of quirky mugs and utensils on the kitchen shelves. It was undeniably her home. 

            Siyeon wrapped her hands around her coffee mug decorated with designs of Disney princesses and the sentence “Wish upon a star” written in old-fashioned cursive letters. Despite that, this was nicer than the bar. If she could, she would always want to come here instead. But she couldn't, could she? Meeting at Gahyeon's place every evening, for someone like her it looked like preying. People would talk. Gahyeon would be caught in the rumor. The accusations would be even worse. Siyeon couldn't do that to someone else. Certainly not to Gahyeon. 

“Earlier, when you suggested we leave, was it because of the whispers behind our backs?”

Gahyeon blinked. She wasn't expecting Siyeon to bring that up. 

“I figured  they were bothering you.”

“Do you have an idea of what they were saying?”

The younger girl stared at the woman next to her, mouth slightly agape. She wanted to go somewhere with this conversation. Gahyeon knew. But she wasn't sure she could go there. 

“I… I’ve heard some rumours before.”

“About me? Let’s see if I remember them well: I’m an ungrateful brat who despises everyone because I live in the big city and I don’t care about the country folks anymore, not even about my own family even though grandma was basically the only person who was still kind enough to care about me. Did I get that right?”

            Siyeon's tone was too upbeat for what was happening. The dissonance was painful to hear.

“Yeah…” Gahyeon tried to follow the mood yet couldn't. “But that’s not all they say about you.”

Siyeon's fake smile disappeared. 

“And what else do they say?” 

The younger girl shifted on the couch, eyes dropping to her coffee mug. 

“Come on, Gahyeon. You can say it.”

Her tone didn’t make Gahyeon want to say it. 

“They say that… you like women. That you tried to seduce a girl from around here when you were younger.”

“And what do you think? Does that disgust you?”

The younger girl was obviously upset. She snapped her head up to stare at Siyeon again and protested:

“No, of course not!”

The older woman couldn't repress a chuckle full of snark. No, of course she wasn't. Until there was a confirmation, no one was. 

“It’s true that I’m a lesbian.” Those words, she would never stop feeling the shiver under her skin every time she said them. “And when I was fourteen I fell in love with my best friend and confessed my feelings. It didn’t go well.”

            It was during summer break. Her parents were staying a few days before leaving her alone at her grandmother's for the holidays. She chose to tell Seojoon in the field where they used to hide in the tall grass when they were younger. Her friend froze. Siyeon was expecting her to be shocked, but then Seojoon glared at her with disgust and ran. That face. Nothing ever hurt her as much as the sneer she received from the very first person she fell in love with. She tried to run after her in the tall grass, but when Seojoon never turned back, Siyeon knew she had lost her.

“Still not disgusted?”

            Gahyeon was calm. A huge weight had been lifted from her chest. Acting as if she didn't know all this time, not being able to use the right words with Siyeon, it had taken a toll on her too. 

“I ran away.”

Siyeon blinked. “What?”

“I told you I needed a break, but the truth is I ran away from home because my parents found out I’m gay and erased me from their lives.” 

It was Siyeon's turn to watch with agape. 

“Some of my friends rejected me, the others stopped talking to me because of the rumours in class. I was isolated. So I dropped out and ran here. When I heard the rumour, I… I was kinda hoping they were true.”

            Gahyeon was starting to cry again, but this time she couldn't use the cold as an excuse. Siyeon took the mug still in the younger's hand gently and put it back on the table. Then, she came closer and drew the girl into a hug. Gahyeon wasn't reacting to anything, sobbing was all she was capable of. Her hiccups were muffled against Siyeon's skin. She was held tightly. A hand was soothing her, up and down on her back. 

“It's all right. You're going to be alright,” Siyeon cooed in her ear.

 

***

 

            They gave up on going to the bar after that. They met at one or the other’s house and went for walks when it wasn’t raining. Gahyeon talked about herself more, about what she wanted, what she had missed, what she was afraid of. Siyeon was only five years older but she helped her the best she could, by sharing her own experiences. It was the first time talking felt liberating. For the older girl it used to feel like a trap. Once something was said it couldn’t be taken back. It was scary to her. How fast a simple sentence could ruin everything. But not with Gahyeon. With her she was allowed to make mistakes. To search for her words. To not say anything at all. It must have been what freedom actually felt like. 

            A few days went by. People were preparing for Halloween,  putting decorations in their gardens, buying candies, deciding what costumes they were going to wear, getting ready to scatter their grandmother’s ashes… Siyeon got all the succession process sorted out, the real estate agency even told her they may have found a buyer for the house. All she had to do was wait for Halloween night. After that, she’d have to go back to Seoul. None of them was looking forward to that. 

            The night came, a few people gathered in the streets with their costumes on to celebrate at bars and restaurants that had organised Halloween parties. The holiday wasn’t as popular in that small countryside town as it was in other big cities but there were still enough young adults and funny elderly to keep the night lively, so to speak. 

            Siyeon and Gahyeon headed out before sunset and took the forest trail that led to the top of the hill where Siyeon’s grandma wanted to rest. The wind was chilling on that evening of late October, it gusted through the trees and made the last orange leaves fall on the ground. The forest was beautiful at that time of the day. There was this specific autumn light, not too bright but with vivid yellows and oranges, piercing through the branches of the trees. The woods smelt like leaves after the rain. Walking up that path, Siyeon understood why her grandmother had chosen that place. 

“You know, I’ve done some research on Halloween, to try to understand why grandma wanted you to wait for that specific day,” Gahyeon started to explain. “And I think it’s because, in many countries, Halloween is the night when the dead are allowed to cross the border between their world and ours. So, maybe she thought her soul could accompany you while you’re doing it. To sort of help you.”

            She waited for Siyeon to say something, but nothing came. The older girl was deep in her thoughts. It was wiser to let her wander, she had learned. Siyeon prefered to internalise things before being able to talk properly about them. 

“Or maybe she was just a witch. I’m fine with that explanation too,” Gahyeon added, laughing. 

“Do you think that, when we go up there, something will happen?” Siyeon asked finally. 

            Gahyeon looked at her, not sure of what she meant. The student didn’t say anything, instead she waited for the other girl to formulate what was on her mind fully. 

“I mean, will I be able to see her, or feel her presence?”

“Siyeon…”

“I know,” the other sighed. “Ghosts aren’t real. Those are just superstitions. But you know, she still chose that date.”

            Gahyeon humed. She understood that Siyeon was just wish dropping. The most important thing was to get her to say why, because that was what really troubled her deep down, not what she was saying on the surface. 

“Is there something you want to tell her?”

“Not to grandma. But, since it’s the night of the dead, I was thinking maybe my parents could cross to this side too and be with me somehow.”

“You never really talked about your parents before.”

“It’s because they died when I was fourteen.”

“Oh” Gahyeon raised her chin in acknowledgement. She had already guessed something like that, although maybe not this long ago. “I’m sorry.”

“It was a car accident,” Siyeon went on. “It happened a few days after I confessed to my best friend.”

“Oh.” This time Gahyeon said it in a more concerned tone. 

“She told her parents what happened and her parents told mine the day before they left. They said I was a freak, a ert who had no place near their daughter and that my parents should have raised me better. My parents apologised and promised to ‘take better care of me’ to make them leave, but they never talked to me about it afterwards. They just left me at my grandmother’s place for the summer break. I thought we would talk about it when they’d come back, but… they never came back.”

            Images flashed. The policemen whispering something to her grandmother outside the house. Her grandmother looking at her with teary eyes. The hug she gave her when she tried to explain she would never see her parents again. The tears filled her eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” Siyeon blurted in a shaky voice. 

“Hey! No, it’s ok. You’re allowed to show how you feel. It’s not a burden,” Gahyeon reassured her, patting her back and locking eyes with her.

“A—After they died,” Siyeon continued her story, “people s—started saying things. They said it wasn’t an accident. That—That my parents were too ashamed of me and killed themselves. But that’s not what the police said. The police said it was an accident. There was something slippery on the road and they lost control of the car. It wasn’t a suicide. They didn’t— They didn’t abandon me.”

“Hey —Gahyeon tried to stop her and help her take steady breaths— Hey, I believe you, Siyeon. It wasn’t your fault. It was an accident. I believe you.”

            Siyeon was shaking and breathing harshly and for the first time Gahyeon was worried she couldn’t help her as she had helped her before. 

“I just wished they would have said something, anything. I don’t even know… I don’t even know if my parents loved me before they died.”

            Siyeon collapsed completely on Gahyeon’s shoulder. The younger one received her in her arms and cooed in the oldest's ear. “It's ok. Don't worry, it's ok…” She waited until Siyeon's breathing was regular again to break the embrace. The sun was going down, they needed to be at the top of the hill soon. 

            The view up there was beautiful. Patches of autumn woods and wide yellow fields stretched in front of them while the red glowing sun was slowly setting behind the horizon. Siyeon took the urn containing her grandmother’s ashes out of the bag she was transporting and removed the lid carefully. It was almost time. The wind was strong behind them ready to take what remained of the old woman with it. Already, some grey flakes were taken away. All she had to do was bend the urn and let the ashes fall. A simple gesture, but one she was afraid to make. She felt Gahyeon's hand on her shoulder. 

“You have to say goodbye now.”

            Siyeon sniffled, holding back the tears again, and let the ashes be carried away by gusts of wind. The two women watched as a few ash-flakes danced in the air, floating lazily against the evening sky. When the sun disappeared completely behind the horizon, the ashes suddenly took a fiery glow, like burning embers in a dying fire. And then the light faded and the darkness spread. 

“Is there something you want to say?” Gahyeon asked. 

Siyeon swallowed the first words that came to her mind, but started again:

“Grandma, thank you for raising me after mom and dad died. And thank you for loving me as I was, even when I was miles away from you. I love you grandma. Wherever you are, I hope you rest in peace.

“Mom, Dad, I don’t know if you’re here as well, but I’m gonna pretend you are. There are so many things I wish I could have told you. So many things I wish you could have told me. I don’t know how you felt in the end, but I’ll never stop loving you anyway. So rest well.

And Gahyeon-ah…”

“Wait, what?”

            The young woman turned her wide eyes towards Siyeon, utterly confused. She wasn’t dead, was she? This wasn’t one of those stories when the ghost didn’t know they were dead until someone helped them see the light, right?

“Come back to Seoul with me. You can stay at my place while you look for an apartment and maybe you can find a student job until you can apply to the school you talked to me about.   You don’t need to have everything figured out, but please, you can’t stay alone here.”

“Siyeon…”

“I know this is selfish because I… I think I like you Gahyeon and I don’t want to lose you…”

“Siyeon!” The younger girl managed to catch her attention. “I’m trying to tell you yes! I want to go back to Seoul with you. It’s time for me to get back to my life… And, if possible, with you in it.”

Siyeon had a hard time processing the answer. Small chuckles escaped in disbelief. This was real. Gahyeon had said yes. She wanted to start something with her. 

“I… I don’t know what…”

            Gahyeon’s hands were cupping her cheeks. She had that little smirk that painted her lips when she was overconfident. 

“Are you going to keep staring or are you finally gonna kiss me?”

            Siyeon didn’t need more to claim her lips. Both of them could tell how much the other had wanted it. They pressed against each other avidly, deepening the kiss. Gahyeon felt a tongue teasing the outline of her lips. She opened to let it in. There was this sudden fire in her chest, an urge to keep going, to take everything in and never let go. Siyeon groaned in , hungry. Their kiss was messy, and wet and daring. It was like a promise for a brighter future. Something both of them wanted to hold on to. 

            Siyeon’s dizzy eyes peered into Gahyeon’s when they broke out. 

“Thank you,” she whispered out of breath. 

“For what?”

“Just, thank you.”

            And she pressed her lips against hers again.