“It's been four months, Siyeon. She needs to have at least one implant, otherwise there will always be a risk.”

“She doesn't want to yet. It takes time to unlearn everything they put into her head. I thought you would understand that.”

Bora was looking at her partner with a sharp gaze, gnawing her lower lip. She always did that when she tried to supress her irritation. It wasn't the first time that she was having this fight with Siyeon. And every time the fixer refused to concede despite the fact that the solo had the most reasonable arguments.

“I know Gahyeon is still afraid, but this is for her safety. As long as she refuses to wear any cybernetics, she will be a target for deranged people.”

“And what would you have me do? Force her?”

“She trusts you Siyeon, you're like a mother figure to her. I'm sure she will listen to you.”

The fixer looked fazed, almost confused. “I-I'm not sure she sees me like that.”

Bora tilted her head slightly and raised an eyebrow. Even after all this time the blond woman was shy to admit she saw Gahyeon as her family. And, perhaps more importantly, she refused to admit that part of her was afraid that the teenager didn't see things in the same way. It was cute, really, to see Siyeon like that. Especially since the solo knew how hard it was for the former corporate to create meaningful bounds with people. She too had a lot of things to unlearn.

“You really struggle to understand people sometimes, don't you?” Bora said, smiling, with a resigned sigh.

“I'm trying.” Siyeon answered with a defeated tone.

Bora raised her hand to caress her lover's cheek “I know.”

Siyeon bent her head to place her forehead against Bora's. The two paused a few seconds in this position then kissed softly before separating. They always reconciled like this although none of them could remember how it started.

“I'm going to bed. There's no use continuing this conversation now.” The solo walked to their shared bedroom.

“Join you in a sec.”

The fixer lingered in the living room before going to Gahyeon's. She slowly opened the door, trying to make as little noise as possible, and walked silently towards the bed. She sat next to Gahyeon to watch her sleep.

“Are you sleeping little one?” she whispered.

No answer. Gahyeon's respiration was steady.

“You really get us worried a lot, but I never want you to feel trapped ever again. I'll protect you until you feel ready.”

Siyeon rearranged a streak of hair that was falling in front of the younger one's eyes and put it behind her ear. She waited a little more, watching over her, until she finally decided to get some sleep for herself and left the room.

Gahyeon waited for the door to close to open her eyes. It wasn’t the first time she heard her protectors fighting over her strong rejection of cybernetics, and never even once had Siyeon gone back on her position despite the fact that it would be easier for everyone. The streets of the City were never safe, but no one could deny that they were safer when your body wasn’t considered to be a luxury good by some of the cruellest and most disgusting people of the black market.

But technology felt so strange to her, she was always told that it was untrustworthy and dangerous, that it poisoned your blood and made you go crazy. Just the idea of having an implant connected to her brain and transplanted directly into her flesh made her sick. Having two cyber-arms like Bora or a full set of perception implants like Minji was unconceivable for her.

However, she also felt guilty. Siyeon had saved her a first time by buying her and giving her back her freedom, then she had rescued her again when she was kidnapped back by the Wang mafia, and now she was defending her even though she was clearly being a burden who couldn’t go out unescorted and always had to be taught about simple things like the Network or the different kinds of implants and cyberwear.

Despite what the blond woman had said, Gahyeon was afraid that one day she would have enough and throw her away, as her parents did. Perhaps that was the most confusing part of her existence that a woman who had known her for months felt closer to her than her parents who raised her for sixteen years. Despite the apparent affection that Siyeon showed, a part of her was waiting for the day this all thing would turn out to be a lie.

Her tired brain decided to give up on those thoughts and Gahyeon fell into a deep slumber.

 

***

 

Yoohyeon had been rambling for quite a long time now. How long exactly? Gahyeon couldn’t tell. She had zoned out after twenty minutes and never zoned back in to watch the time. Perhaps it was time to check in again.

“So you create your character with the new interface they made for the 3.4.2 version and then you choose which class you’re going to play, personally I play assassin but I would suggest something else for beginners, and then…”

“Yoohyeon?”

“Oh my God you finally stopped zoning out!”

Gahyeon raised her eyebrows in surprise at the hacker’s unpredictable comment. The grey-haired girl answered to the youngest’s silent interrogation.

“You see, when you stop listening you start staring very intently at the void in front of you, like you want to murder someone. So when I see you do that I just find something I want to talk about and let you be until you come back to reality. But anyway! Are you ready to try and connect to the Net with my deck now?”

The hacker pointed at a very complex set of screens and keyboards connected to some weird looking computer towers with water-cooling systems inside.

“It’s a little old-fashioned but I like it like that. Many hackers nowadays use very minimalist decks. Some are even integrated on cyber-arms.”

Gahyeon widened her eyes, as if something had connected in her head “Like miss Lee’s old cyber-arm.”

“Yes, exactly! But of course, portative decks are less powerful, that’s why every decent hacker has at least one main set at home.”

The young adult sat behind the desk and followed Yoohyeon’s instructions to connect to the Net. As expected the hacker’s interface was full of online games. The tall woman cleared .

“Ok so this is the Grid. Once you enter the Net you can have access to everything but to find them you have to navigate through there. Think of it as a multitude of threads that connect to each other in knots that we call hubs. Each hub leads you into a specific place of the Net. Follow the wrong strings and you will end up in very weird places. Some hubs are free to access, others are private and connected with hidden threads. People like me are experts at finding and exploiting the hidden threads of the Grid to access some very dangerous parts of the Network.”

“Like security systems.”

“Exactly. You are a fast learner. Now Let’s navigate through some basic hubs.”

Yoohyeon showed Gahyeon all the main hubs that were commonly used by everyone and for the first time the young woman felt the thrill of being connected to so many things at the same time. So many possibilities opened up to her. She could go anywhere in the Grid and it was truly exhilarating. Until her teacher stopped her.

“I think that’s all for now. Remember to never go too far.”

“Yeah, I’ll try.”

Gahyeon’s eyes were still shining from all the excitement. Her brain had registered the advice but she would need some practice before using the Net responsively. The hacker knew that feeling all too well. She also knew that the best way to protect Gahyeon was to teach her how to protect herself in the Grid. In other words, she needed to become a hacker herself.

“Gahyeon-ah, this is the first time I see you actually enjoying new technologies.”

“This was incredible! We are connected to so much more than just ourselves. We can have access to so many things.”

“If you want to know more, I’ll be happy to teach you. But you’ll have to be under my surveillance until I think it’s safe for you to use the Net on your own. Would you like that?”

The young woman nodded firmly. After a while, something else came to her mind. “But unnie, wouldn’t it be better if I had a neuronal system as well?”

“Well…yes. A lot of people have one because it’s easier for their daily use of the interface. But you don’t have to worry about that yet, you can start with something smaller.”

They heard the rattling sound of an old ring bell coming from the doorway, Yoohyeon really liked the old-fashioned aesthetics.

“It must be Bora. Guess it’s time for you to go home.”

“Thank you for the lesson today. Until next time!”

 

***

 

Gahyeon was playing on her smart-screen in the living room while Bora was cooking in the open kitchen. Fresh products were rare to find so she didn’t get to cook a lot, but when she did, it created this warm and cheerful atmosphere in the apartment. Recently, her mood had been particularly high. Gahyeon had started to learn hacking techniques from Yoohyeon and, as a consequence, was becoming less and less warry of technology and cyber-enhancements. Bora may not have had a special bound with Gahyeon like Siyeon had, but ever since she met the teenager, she couldn’t help but care about her in her own way. Always making sure she was safe, healthy and happy. She hadn’t raised her, she knew nothing could replace or erase Gahyeon’s upbringing, but during the past five months she had felt really proud of her growth.

“Say, unnie.”

“Hm?”

“How did you get your cyber-arms?”

Bora was a bit surprised by the question, but she was happy that the young woman wanted to know more about her.

“When we started as solos, Minji and I met very dangerous opponents. A lot of them had cyber-enhancements. And I was a bit reckless back then, I still am, but don’t tell Siyeon I said that.”

She winked. “Anyway, I’m a melee fighter and I like close-combat so I decided to have cyber-arms made for me.”

“You amputated them on purpose?”

“Yes, I had to if I wanted the new ones.”

“Mmmh…Is that what miss Lee did?”

“Aaah, her case is different, but I think you should ask her directly. And also, you know you can call her Siyeon, it would actually make her really happy.”

“It would? But she’s my saviour, I need to show my respect.”

Bora sighed. What was it with these two and their inability to understand people’s feelings? But she guessed that in Gahyeon’s case it made sense. She never had been loved or cared for in a genuine, disinterested way before, of course she would think of Siyeon that way.

“She didn’t protect you because she wanted respect.”

“Then why?”

The solo hesitated. Maybe it would be better if the two of them sorted this out on their own.

“I’m sure you’ll find out.”

 

***

 

“And that’s all she said.”

“I see… miss SuA is more sensible than I thought.”

Handong was looking at Gahyeon with an amused expression. It was true that when she first met her at the end of the raid on the Wang villa, she told the sixteen-year-old that she was under her protection. But she didn’t think the girl would actually use it so often, and most of the time just to pay her a visit. Was Siyeon out of her mind for letting her be so comfortable around a mafia leader like herself? She could still remember the smirk on the fixer’s face when she asked her.

“I won’t be available for a few days and SuA has missions. Since you offered your protection, could you take care of Gahyeon?”

Of course Han Dong had no choice but to say yes, everyone had heard her give her word and she wanted to be seen as a leader that her allies could trust. Nonetheless, it wasn’t the burden she thought it would be. Gahyeon was a smart young woman. Being with SuA and Siyeon had done her good. Without realising it, she had gained in self-assurance. This lead to some interesting conversations that the Han leader quite enjoyed. She was brought back to the conversation by Gahyeon’s question.

“You participated to the raid on the Wang villa because of personal reasons, right?”

“I did. The Wangs and the Hans were mortal enemies, I couldn’t miss an opportunity to put an end to them.”

“Was miss Lee also motivated by revenge? I know the Wangs also took down her corporation.”

“Miss Lee couldn’t have cared less about revenge.”

Han Dong had said that with a soft giggle in her voice, as if that was an obvious fact, which only made Gahyeon more frustrated. The Chinese leader adopted a more understanding demeanour. She smiled softly. The sixteen-year-old was so used to the leader’s sarcastic smiles that the first time she saw her like that she thought she was imagining it. However, during her visits to the Han mansion, she quickly found out that the fearless leader had a soft side that she rarely let other people see. Her next words hit Gahyeon in a place of insecurity that she didn’t know the other could see.

“Why is it so hard for you to admit that saving you was enough for her to risk everything?”

“I-I just… It’s not…”

“If Lee Siyeon wanted to abandon you she would have done it back then; don’t you think? After all she is a very pragmatic person. Until you and SuA I don’t think she ever cared about anyone in a genuine way.”

She paused to look at Gahyeon’s dumbfounded face. She understood why SuA decided to play the “you’ll understand later” card. It was obvious that the girl had a lot of unaddressed traumas, beginning with abandonment issues. Since the only people who shared a connection with her revealed themselves to be monsters who raised her to make money, she couldn’t see why someone would want to protect her without a payment of some kind. The only one who could convince Gahyeon that she was safe now was Siyeon. Until the two decided to have an honest talk, nothing she could say would completely be registered.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to find an answer now. I believe your priority right now should be to choose the kind of cybernetics that you want.

Gahyeon’s eyes flickered, trying to reconnect to the sudden change of topic. The stress had not completely worn off but she could feel the positive effect of relief in her mind.

“I was thinking about a cyber-arm.”

Han Dong raised an eyebrow. “You know the surgery is heavy right?”

“I know.”

“And done by the wrong person, it can have very bad consequences.”

“That’s why I was also planning on asking for your help. Do you know a good med-tech who could do the surgery?”

The leader chuckled. Siyeon wasn’t going to like that, but Gahyeon was old enough to know what she wanted. At her age, Han Dong already had a neuronal system and a processor connected to her brain with multiple implants, and she believed Siyeon herself wasn’t that much older when she got her cyber-arm.

“I do, but you have to be ready for a big discussion with Siyeon when she comes back.”

“Why wouldn’t she like it?”

“She cares about you, and also I think it will bring her back to some difficult times.” She looked at Gahyeon’s puzzled expression. “But on the plus side, maybe you’ll find your answer.”

 

***

 

“A cyber-arm for ’s sake Bora! Of course I’m mad. When we said cybernetics I was thinking about some basic implants like a neuro-processor or something, I didn’t think she would cut her ing arm off. And she didn’t even tell us! I swear if Han Dong wasn’t the new Chinese mafia leader she would hear about this.”

Bora had been trying to temper Siyeon for half an hour now, but the taller woman was stuck in a loop of anger and incomprehension and was refusing to get out of it. In the meantime, Gahyeon had been sent to her room, but no doubt the teenager could hear everything. The solo was making a “slow down” movement with her arms to try to ease the atmosphere.

“Si, I think you’re not being objective here.”

“What do you mean?”

“I think that you relate a lot to Gahyeon and you were hoping she wouldn’t have to do what you did to escape and seeing her left arm triggered you.”

“That is not…”

“And this is completely understandable. However, her situation is different and I think you should listen to her and tell her exactly why you are so triggered right now. In a calm way.”

Siyeon fell silent. It was true. When she came back and saw Gahyeon’s cyber-arm she was transported back to her own past, her own choices and she felt a submerging feeling of failure. She had always hoped for the young one to never live what she had lived, to take her time and decide what she wanted to do in her own terms, only to have her follow the same paths as her. She remembered the young hacker’s face when she snapped, she was afraid. Siyeon had to calm down and talk to her. She took a deep breath. When Bora looked at her she saw that her eyes had progressively turned to a deep purple, the colour that expressed sadness and regret for the fixer.

“You’re right. I need to talk to Gahyeon.”

The young one heard the knocks on her door but didn’t answer. Siyeon knocked a second time and since there was still no reply, she decided to enter. The sixteen-year-old was huddled up on her bed, crying in her knees. She knew what Siyeon was about to say, she was being kicked out. It took six months for it to happen but it finally did. She felt the mattress rise when Siyeon sat next to her. The few seconds of silence were excruciating. She felt the long fingers reaching for her chin and rising it slightly, forcing her to meet with Siyeon’s purple eyes. She had never seen that colour before. The older woman didn’t look angry. She had a sad smile. Seeing Gahyeon cry had also prompted some tears to appear at the corner of her eyes.

“I’m so sorry little one.”

Out of all the things she expected the older woman to say, this had to be the last one on the list. Gahyeon was so shocked that tears began to roll down her eyes again. Siyeon took her into her arms and let her cry against her chest.

“Can I stay here with you and Bora?”

“Of course you can stay here. I’m sorry I got angry, I promise it is not your fault.”

Gahyeon sobs progressively slowed down, until they stopped completely. Her breathing was still shaky, but it got slower and regular again. Siyeon reached for a box of tissues that was on the night stand next to the bed and gave it to Gahyeon who blew her nose several times and taped under her eyes to dry the tears.

“Why did you choose a cyber-arm?”

“Because it-it’s the one you had when we first met.” Siyeon’s eyes widened and she was once again overwhelmed with regrets. Gahyeon brought her left arm between them to show her. “See. Left arm with cyber-deck included that can also project smart holograms.”

“I see.” Siyeon felt her voice break a little so she paused to compose herself. “So this is linked to a good memory for you.”

Gahyeon nodded. “Ever since that day, you’ve always been here for me.”

“And I always will be.” She planted a kiss at the top of the young woman’s head. “I was not angry at you. I was angry because… Because my cybernetic arm isn’t connected to something happy in my life, and I selfishly thought that it was the same for you, but it’s not. You had the choice and I’m so happy that you chose to make that connection with me.”

The teenager wrapped her arms around Siyeon’s and squeezed while resting her face on the woman’s shoulder.

“You never told me what happened to your arm.”

Siyeon let out a stressful sigh.

“Well. I was like you.” Gahyeon furrowed her brows in incomprehension. “My parents also raised me without implants and sold me to some gang leader when I was fifteen. I was ready to do anything to escape, so one day when they put me back in the room where they kept all the girls, I reached for the heavy metal door and stuck my arm right when it closed.” The young one’s grip on her arm got tighter and she furrowed her face against her. “The only way to save me was to put a cybernetic-arm, so they threw me away. I was lucky enough to be rescued and have my arm replaced.”

“I’m so sorry.” Gahyeon whispered against her skin.

Siyeon patted the younger girl’s head and started to comb her hair with her fingers. “It’s okay, you couldn’t know.”

The girl stayed silent for a minute, processing the information, connecting the dots in her heads. There was still one question that was left unanswered and until now she had been too afraid to ask, but somehow, this felt like the right time.

“Is that why you saved me? You saw yourself in me?”

The older woman moved slightly away to look into Gahyeon’s eyes. She could see that the girl was yearning for an answer. This question was also why Siyeon had never told her this story. She didn’t want Gahyeon to think that their bound was fake or based on something as superficial as that.

“Partly yes. But also, when you fell asleep and clang to me I just had this feeling that I couldn’t let you go.”

It had taken her a long time, but Gahyeon finally understood why Siyeon did what she did for her, why she cared so much, why she was always attentive to the small details in her life, why she wanted her to be free. It was for the same reasons she was afraid to be separated from her. They were a family, not by blood, but by choice, and that made their bond even stronger.

“Siyeon-unnie, I promise I won’t let go either.”

The tears that the taller woman had been trying to repress since the beginning of their conversation finally broke out. She drew Gahyeon into a hug, pressing the girl’s face against her neck.

“Thank you.”

Bora, who had been listening behind the door the whole time, entered when she heard Siyeon cry. She saw the two sobbing and holding each other and realised that she had never seen Siyeon this vulnerable before. It made her chest hurt to see the woman she loved like that, but at the same time she was happy that she had found a new family, one that Bora was a part of as well. She walked towards the two and brought them against her, planting a kiss on top of each head.

“You have no idea how much worry you two caused me.”