Jimin realized that it was really difficult to pretend that everything was okay between her and Minjeong. It was totally not. The awkwardness between them was growing more and more as it each day passed and it was all Jimin’s fault.

She couldn’t practice, couldn’t focus, and getting some decent sleep at night was nearly impossible.  All because of her.

Everything was just so tiring, more than it should be… but the reasons were so clear to her, to everyone at this point but that was a thought for later at night when everyone was asleep.

Jimin groaned before getting out of bed, the thought of facing Minjeong today mortified her. What would she even say once the girl was there in front of her? She wasn’t prepared for that. Maybe she would never be from now on.

The clock on her night table reminded her that time was indeed ticking and there was no time to waste. She took a deep breath before packing her things and head out.

When she arrived at the building the lights from the practice room were still on. Maybe it was Seulgi practicing late at night as she remembered Wendy saying that Seulgi had been working very hard for this project. Somehow, she felt relieved that Minjeong wouldn’t be there but when she opened the door, she felt sick to her stomach.

“You! I’ve been waiting for you all afternoon! Where were you?” the familiar short girl asked loudly from across the room. Mirrors surrounded them, creating different versions of the girl she didn’t want to see today. “The girls left already, we practiced without you.” The younger walked straight towards her with open arms and a big pout.

Jimin thought the room was particularly cold today, or was it just her?

She didn’t reciprocate the hug, instead she just placed her hand over Minjeong’s shoulder.

Stop.

And it was as if the younger girl would’ve read her mind, Minjeong just stopped in her tracks.

Weird. Now everything feels weird.

“I’m sorry, I was really tired.” She lied. “To be honest I didn’t even want to come.” That was true though. “I think I over practiced these past few days.” GOT’s debut was around the corner and she didn’t feel prepared, not a single bit.

The black-haired girl frowned. “The girls asked about you.” That was Minjeong’s way of asking “Are you okay?” without actually saying it. “At least you could’ve texted me you know, saying that you were not coming or something.” Minjeong said with a sad tone, crossing her arms as if she was trying to protect herself, she was hurt no doubt.

“I’m sorry.” She gulped. “I just didn’t pay attention to my phone all day.” She wished that was true. “I think I’m having one of those days.” She tried to smile to ease the girl’s feelings but it didn’t work. She felt guilty.

Sigh.

“Yeah, I think it’s one of those days.” The shorter said before leaving the room, emotionless, almost robotic. “I guess I will see you around.”

It’s so cold.

 Was I too harsh? Yeah, I definitely was. I didn’t mean to. Why did she leave so suddenly though? I couldn’t even explain myself… or just tell her not to leave, I wanted her to stay.

Ugh.

Jimin’s thoughts were going so fast, she thought she was about to lose it. If someone asked her where hell was, she would just point right at her own head.

Ew. Edgy.

She threw herself over her bed and buried her head into the pillows closing her eyes, images of what happened two weeks ago repeating over and over.

She sighed.

She shouldn’t have read that article; she should have just closed the tab and learn to mind her own business.

“Winrina, the new TaeNy?”

That was unfortunately the first thing that popped up when she was looking for herself on the internet. A rookie mistake of course.

“What the hell?” She said out loud in disbelief, immediately tapping on the article. Curiosity killed the cat.

‘It seems that aespa’s Winter and Karina’s relationship has been getting a lot of attention these days by Korean and Intl fans. If you are familiar with the term ‘Stan Twitter’ and aespa’s fandom maybe you have come across with a lot of cute compilation edits about these two where they seem… How should we call it? Like really good friends 😉. Even the fans already nicknamed them as “Winrina”! so guys I guess we can confirm that the ship has sailed right? hahaha.

And that’s not all, apparently, they also got the attention of some SONEs due to how similar their relationship is with former SM employee Tiffany and SNSD member Taeyeon also known as TaeNy. We can see the resemblance guys! Just look at these cute pictu…”

Jimin locked her phone as fast as she could, her heart was beating fast, fear possessing her body. That was so invasive, how could they say all that? So… easily?

I mean, they were not wrong, their relationship was indeed popular among their fans but she never knew it would go that far. Their friendship was merely platonic. Or so she thought?

Also, comparing them to their sunbaenims was weird. What was TaeNy in the first place? She didn’t know. What even happened between Taeyeon and Tiffany back then to unleash such gossip about them now?

But the pictures… why it was so weird to see those pictures and feel like that those glances shared between them were way more than just platonic?

Was it because of the way the article made it seem? The nickname? The edits? Oh god the edits… She hasn’t watched any of those yet.

Jimin unlocked her phone cautiously and logged into her private twitter account to look for “winrina” on the search box, it took her just a few seconds before a bunch of tweets and videos of them started to appear all at once on the screen. She couldn’t believe her eyes.

There were videos of them holding hands with lots of zoom involved, a lot of clips of herself sending Minjeong kisses on vlives; clips of her smiling over the younger girl’s antics and even a video of her hitting Minjeong’s as a joke, because that’s what it was, a joke. Was it?

Anyway, the list was long.

“No way” Jimin said defeated. What she thought it was just her being mischievous with her own friend turned into a whole different narrative. They made it seem like she had an obsession with the short haired girl, something like a crush. “There’s literally no way.” She repeated.

She wondered if Minjeong was aware of this too. Had she read the article? She panicked. No, that was impossible, she would’ve noticed anything different in Minjeong’s attitude if that was the case. But Jimin couldn’t let her friend know about this, not by any chance, it would make things weird between them and she didn’t want that because Minjeong….

Minjeong what? Her heart skipped a beat. No, no, don’t think about that.

Romantic or platonic? Western media confused her while Korean media praised their friendship.

Jimin found herself alone on this one, and that was not even the scariest part, not yet.

 It was not until 1 AM when Jimin finally said truce to her brain and let herself fall into Morpheus arms. Her eyelids got heavy and she began to drift between wakefulness and sleep with images of Minjeong appearing as a lullaby.

“I have something to tell you but please don’t get mad.” The person in front of her looked exactly like Minjeong, the girl was playing with her own beanie, looking straight to the ground.

Jimin smiled, she recalled how adorable Minjeong’s tiny voice was.

 “Why would I get mad? You know I can’t really get mad at you. “Jimin tried to reassure the girl.

“I’m scared.” A tint of blush covered the short girl’s cheeks.

“C’mon, there’s nothing to be afraid of. What’s on your mind?” The older girl asked for permission to hold the younger’s hand. “I told you that you could tell me anything, trust me.” She rubbed the back of her hand.

“I think I have a crush on you, unnie.” The short girl spoke so fast all at once looking straight into Jimin’s eyes, squeezing their hands.

Silence. A whole two minutes of silence.

The younger immediately bowed saying sorry. “I’m sorry Jimin, I made this very uncomfortable, I shouldn’t have said that.”

Jimin wanted to say something back but she couldn’t speak, not because she didn’t want to but words couldn’t come out, as if was glued. She realized she was dreaming.

Minjeong looked hurt, she wanted Jimin to say something so bad but she got no answer. So she just let go of her hand and left. Jimin saw her walk away, her figure disappearing into the darkness.

She heard a melody in the background.

In my dreams you love me back… In my dreams you love me back…

She woke up, a song was playing on her AirPods, it was from Red Velvet’s newest album playing automatically.

If that was a sign, someone up there was making fun of her.

Stupid article.

Jimin grumbled rolling her eyes, she was really regretting last night’s lack of sleep. It had been two weeks since she had read that article about them, but every time she was about to sleep it came to her like a fresh memory, making it very difficult to get some rest at night and get rid of the uneasy feeling the day afterwards.

And now to add another problem to the list, she was starting to miss Minjeong a lot. Those two weeks were finally kicking in and being together in the same room wasn’t helping at all; she had to share the same space with the younger almost all day because of today’s rehearsal.

It was the third day of practice and everyone was there, including the girl’s managers and the choreographers.

Jimin felt seen. On the spotlight.

“Hi Jimin-ah, Minjeong-ah” Taeyeon pointed the camera at them. The blonde was filming for the dance practice’s behind-the-scenes YouTube video which got Jimin a bit self-conscious but Minjeong just acted as usual. Jimin envied that the younger wasn’t going through the same hell as her. Sometimes ignorance was bliss and she confirmed it as she saw everyone actually enjoying their time there, dancing, talking; she even noticed how excited Minjeong was talking to Wendy. She found herself a little bit jealous.

That should be me.

“Wendy unnie stole Winter from you?” A girl’s voice took her out of her trance, it was Seulgi, showing her signature eye-smile. Jimin’s ears got red at the sudden question.

“What?” Jimin chuckled nervously but Seulgi only let out a heartwarming laugh.

“You should look at yourself, you look like a defeated puppy right now.” She giggled. “Seungwan is very friendly though, you should join them.” Seulgi encouraged her.

“Ah, I don’t know about that, I’m kind of shy.” The tall girl confessed when in fact joining the conversation wasn’t really the problem but talking to Minjeong was.

“Oh don’t!” Seulgi made and “x” with her hands. “This right here.” The brunette pointed to all of them. “Isn’t something you see pretty often.” she said seriously. “You know, this is actually literally our first time sharing the same stage together. All generations.” She made a pause. “We better enjoy this moment before it’s even over, we don’t know if this is going to be our first and last time together.” She smiled. “So c’mon, go ahead, try it out.”

Enjoy it.

She looked at Minjeong who was laughing at Wendy's jokes.

Yeah, she should, she would let herself enjoy this day, just this once and forget about every dumb article out there.

“Yeah, I guess I should try.” She stood up and bowed at Seulgi, mentally thanking her for her sincere words. She approached the girls with ears still red.

“Oh, speaking of the devil.” Wendy laughed loudly. “Winter was talking about you just right now.” Her voice was too loud.

“I hope she wasn’t talking bad about me.” She joked and Minjeong tried to repress a smile that it came out more like a smirk.

“You shouldn’t worry about that.” Minjeong patted her arm before leaving to sit on the couch beside Zero.

Oh, so Minjeong was now avoiding her? She totally deserved that.

“Hey Jimin, can you film for me?” Taeyeon shouted from across the room. “Here, take this.” She lent her the camera she used a few moments ago to greet her and Minjeong. “You two can record Zero if you want.”

You two who? Me and Minjeong? You want us to film Zero? Like together? Oh no, no. No way.

Film Zero meant getting closer to Minjeong and to be honest all the courage she had collected from talking with Seulgi, was now gone.

“We can use Zero’s toy over there, can you give it to me?” Minjeong asked softly which startled Jimin. “Y-yeah, sure.”

“I should film you playing with him, I think it would be a really good segment for the YouTube video.” The shorter girl suggested.

“Why?” Jimin was confused. “Because you are popular with cats not dogs so that would be an interesting turn, like a different side of Karina.” The younger held her own chin thoughtfully.  “Or should we just record each other?” Minjeong wondered through the different options but Jimin immediately thought about those videos on twitter… was this going to be taken out of context too?

“Enjoy it before it’s even over.”

“What? Us playing with Zero?” She chuckled.

“Yes! Yeah, we should.” She sounded really excited. “Here you hold him and look at the camera first.” Jimin heart skipped a beat at the sudden brush of Minjeong’s hand with hers.

“Say something!” the short haired girl said pretending to be annoyed. “Me? Why me? You say something.” Jimin pointed the camera at the black-haired girl but the latter pointed it back at her.

“No! because I said you go first, duh.” Minjeong made it seem like an obvious statement. “You didn’t even give me the chance to agree on that.” Jimin fought back and the short girl just rolled her eyes. “Ugh sometimes you are…”  

“Fine, fine, I’ll do it.” The long-haired girl surrendered.

She missed this. She missed her so much.

“Hello. I’m Zero, Taeyeon’s doggie.” She mimicked what it was supposed to be Zero’s cute voice and waved at the camera with his paw.

“Hello Zero.” Minjeong joined them on the frame while petting the puppy on the older’s arms.

Jimin noticed how cute they looked on the mini screen of the camera, just the two of them holding a puppy. Her cheeks got warmer, butterflies in her stomach.

Minjeong got up and tried to play fetch with Zero but he completely ignored her making the girl fall on her knees defeated. Jimin laughed hitting the shorter’s arm.

“Ouch that hurt.” The younger made a face of discomfort. “You are a loser; did you know that?” Jimin laughed. There was a pause.

“You ir a lisir did you know thit?” Minjeong mocked Jimin. “Ugh I swear you are…” the black-haired girl curled up her fingers in frustration.

“What?” Jimin stared at her. “You are making things very difficult.” The shorter confessed.

“What am I making difficult?” She frowned.

“Everything.” Minjeong stared at her intently for what it felt like minutes, dark eyes piercing through all the walls Jimin built between them, causing the older to break the contact awkwardly.

“Anyways, I should get going, I need to practice, look after Zero okay?” She got up abruptly and went back to Wendy.

Jimin sighed, she wanted to make her stay.

It was around 9 p.m when the girls and the staff started to leave one by one, except for them. They were the only two left in the room still practicing, no one daring to say a single word to each other, it was just Step Back playing over and over in the background. Jimin was relieved though, at least she didn’t have to think nor talk with all that noise, she just had to focus on her dance, or so she thought because suddenly all her attention went to Minjeong who after a long period of practice collapsed of exhaustion. The short haired girl sat on the floor breathing heavily and with evident drops of sweat all over her bangs.

Jimin saw it all from the mirror in front of them, she would have lied if she said she wasn’t concerned, actually her natural instinct would’ve been to help the girl, but in that exact moment all she could do was doubt herself. So, she just shook it off and pretended she wasn’t paying attention at all. But Jimin found this very strange because Minjeong usually doesn’t over practice, she knows Minjeong is aware of her low stamina, so this was not normal, something was off.

“Yah, Karina.” Minjeong said in between breaths, getting Jimin’s attention. “Jimin-ah” she almost pleaded.

Jimin loved when the girl called her that way.

“I’m sure you know how I don’t like to go around asking obvious questions” She made a pause to take a deep breath. “But I’m aware of the fact that you’ve been avoiding me.” Minjeong let out a bitter chuckle.

Jimin turned off the music to look at Minjeong’s direction who was staring at her through the mirror too. She averted her gaze immediately to the floor, now fidgeting with her fingers.

Minjeong sighed, blowing her sweaty bangs and rolling her eyes in annoyance because of how glassy they were getting, she couldn’t allow tears to fall. In fact, she wasn’t annoyed at Jimin’s lack of words or obvious avoidance but at Jimin’s way of shutting herself off in front of her, the person she thought she trusted the most. She couldn’t deny feeling betrayed by her own best friend, but she thought she didn’t have the right to say that about Jimin without knowing her side of the story but Minjeong was tired, she really let herself get hurt by her this time.

Across the room, Jimin knew she was being too obvious, but what was she supposed to do? To say?

Oh hey, yeah so, I found a series of videos and articles about us pretty much saying we date or even love each other romantically and I’m really confused so I needed you to get away from me somehow.

No, that’s not what she wanted to say.

I’m really confused and I need you the most right now. I don’t know if I love you more than just friends. I wish we could be joking around as we always do. Minjeong I feel so alone. Don’t be mad at me, I just don’t know what to do.

Jimin couldn’t make eye contact with the girl, she knew she would lose if she even tried. Instead, she just looked at herself in the mirror and broke the silence.

“I’m sorry Minjeong-ah.” She really meant that. “It’s just…” she made a pause, thinking about a lie. “I think GOT’s debut really got into my head, but I know that’s not an excuse of how bad I neglected you. I focused on getting better and better each day because working with our sunbaenims made me feel a little bit insecure about my own skills.” That was no the truth at all. Actually, Jimin was very excited about GOT’s debut, she wanted to show everyone out there what she was capable of and how much she deserved her spot in the unit.

Minjeong just hummed emotionless.

“Haven’t you felt the same way?” The long-haired girl asked sincerely through the mirror.

“Not really though.” Minjeong tilted her head to the side. “To be quite honest with you, I think this is the happiest I’ve ever been.”

“Why so?” Jimin was curious because even if she didn’t say the truth, she didn’t expect that answer from the younger. This was their first time talking about it privately.

“Because I never thought I would get the chance to work with the girls who inspired me to become a singer, an artist and a dancer since I was young. It was just unbelievable.” She smiled softly getting shy because of what she was about to say. “And I’m glad I got to share this dream with you specifically. It means a lot to me.” Minjeong confessed and closed her eyes.

Jimin’s eyes got teary, Minjeong’s words tugging her heartstrings; she wanted to go hug the girl and tell her she felt the same way but she doubted. All she could do was turn around to look at her.

But Minjeong wasn’t looking, not this time.

It was for the best.

“You don’t have to say anything.” The short girl got up. “I know something is up that you don’t want to tell me, I know you, but that’s okay, I just want you to know that I’m here to listen no matter what. I miss you Jimin.” She packed her things knowing for a fact that nothing was going to happen. “I should get going, I’m very tired, I almost passed out.”

The door closed in front of Jimin before she could even say something back.

“I’m glad you said all that Minjeong-ah. I needed that.” She let out a sob before biting her bottom lip, a bittersweet smile forming on her lips.

Jimin felt a sense of emptiness all the way back to the dorm, thinking about Minjeong’s words over and over, she felt guilty. Usually, Minjeong wasn’t someone who would share her thoughts or problems with the world, she would rather stay silent than worry her loved ones, totally opposite from Jimin who could tell everyone about her own concerns, opinions and feelings. But now the roles had been reversed and Minjeong was there pouring all her feelings in front of Jimin and the latter couldn’t even say a word back.

Minjeong didn’t deserve that, she didn’t deserve being punished by Jimin’s own fears. She needed to apologize to the younger, this had to stop.

When Jimin arrived at the dorm Giselle was still up.

“I wasn’t expecting you this early.” The long-haired girl said while looking at her phone. “How was it?” She pretended to sound uninterested, Jimin knew that she had a bit of resentment towards her for not being chosen for the GOT unit.

“It was okay, I just focused on myself.” She sat at the edge of her own bed, looking at Giselle.

“And Minjeong?” She stopped scrolling to look at Jimin. “She’s fine, I don’t know, didn’t talk much.” Another lie.

Giselle frowned with a smirk on her face, “Are you two like, okay?” The girl raised an eyebrow. “Because that’s kinda weird coming from you because you are like obsessed with her and like always glued to her, like girlfriends.” Jimin knew Giselle didn’t mean it in that way but it caught her off guard.

“What you mean? I’m not obsessed.” She tried to chuckle it off.

“Of course you are. Stop lying to yourself.” She was laughing but Jimin wasn’t.

“Why would I lie to myself? I’m not obsessed.” Jimin was seriously annoyed and Giselle noticed it.

“Okay chill, it wasn’t that serious damn.” She went back to her phone.

 “I’m sorry.” Jimin apologized. “Just had a rough day, that’s all.”

“It’s fine, but are you sure you are okay? I think I hit a sensitive spot.” She wasn’t wrong.

“No, I’m not actually, but I need to figure this out on my own, hope you don’t mind. Thank you though.”

And by that both of them decided to put an end to the conversation by going silent as they usually did, so Jimin took this opportunity to leave and take a hot shower, she needed to melt away today’s events.

Once in the shower and with the steaming water flowing, she got into her thoughts, she had to figure out how to go back to her old self and how to get Minjeong back. It was time to be real with herself and put a name to her feelings towards the girl. But how was she supposed to do that? She didn’t know where to start.

What about TaeNy?

She recalled the name given to Taeyeon and Tiffany’s friendship. The article mentioned that it was a very popular ship so it would be easy to find information about them even from their debut days.

Jimin went to bed and unlocked her phone nervously, tapping on the YouTube app to search for TaeNy content. She felt bad, like an intruder in a house, but it was the only way to ease her feelings.

The first thing that popped up was a forty-minute-long video titled “TAENY moments I still think about a lot.” Jimin cringed at it and looked at the comments first before tapping play.

“I love how it covers their growing years from lovely teenagers to full grown women loving and supporting each other <3 and how strong their friendship is.”

“Taeny were literally the biggest ship of girl group back then! I missed them and those times so much 😭”

“Jokes apart tho these two are truly blessed to have each other and their relationship is very special and it's beautiful to see”

Jimin felt a mix of emotions by reading a lot of the positive comments, most of them pointing out how lovely their relationship was, some of them calling it friendship and some others calling them lovers, either way everyone was so supportive.

She bit her lip, she was feeling a lot of butterflies in her stomach, maybe there was hope and nothing to be afraid of.

The video started by displaying a letter from Tiffany’s old blog as a trainee, explaining that she was about to become a singer along with her roommate “TaeTae” who for obvious reasons Jimin guessed the American girl was referring to Taeyeon. Jimin widened her eyes by the time she finished reading the letter, the way Tiffany expressed about Taeyeon was so meaningful. The video kept going, showing old clips of them on radio shows, concerts and even at the airport, until something caught her attention, it was a video message from Taeyeon where she was thanking Tiffany for all the years they had spent together as friends and she apologized for not being completely open with her. This reminded her of Minjeong.

Jimin smiled at how easy was for them to show affection towards each other. She recognized how much Tiffany cared about Taeyeon, she was always there for her, supporting every step Taeyeon took as a singer, as an artist, even when she was not anymore, a part of Girls Generation.

“We are soulmates.”

Jimin smiled when she remembered she had called Minjeong her soulmate too.

When the video ended, the app recommended her another video of them, it was a song called Lost in Love.

They have a song together? Oh my god…

But Jimin fell in love right in the spot, she was mesmerized at their vocals, at how beautiful their voices sounded together, as if they were always meant to sing together.

Taeyeon’s passion in her voice was hypnotizing, just like Minjeong’s, and Tiffany’s voice was so soothing. The performance was beyond emotional, it was heart wrenching, and the lyrics seemed to get a different meaning on stage, that even Jimin couldn’t help but shed a tear.

This was her sign, this was the push she needed, she wanted to know more, she needed to talk with Taeyeon personally, however, this was a bold move, she had to be careful with her words to not scare the latter. She needed her advice, her guidance. She more than anyone could help her with this due she went through the same situation as her. Either as lovers or friends.

Maybe she was not alone after all.

The next morning at the practice room Jimin doubted if talking with Taeyeon was a right idea yet after all her research she had to at least try, she needed her.

“Excuse me, Taeyeon.” Karina approached shyly, poking the blonde’s shoulder who was packing her things to leave for her next schedule.

“Oh Jimin. Hello.” The short girl beamed, Zero joined them while playing with Jimin’s sneakers.

“I was wondering if I could talk to you, like, right now?” Jimin could hear her own heartbeat. “I mean only if you are not busy or anything. If you’re busy it’s totally fine, it could be another day.” The tall girl was rambling so much that Taeyeon couldn’t help to laugh.

“Calm down Jimin. I do have time. I actually was planning to skip my schedule anyways.” She joked. “Do you want to talk here or at the café’s lounge?” the older picked up Zero.

“I think I would need a coffee so the cafeteria sounds nice.”

“Let’s go then. C’mon Zero.”

The lounge was pretty much empty when they arrived, there were like three persons around the place, all of them away from each other. They decided to sit near the window, the view was amazing due being in a tenth floor, you could watch the whole city and the sun setting behind the tall buildings.

“What would you like to order? It’s on me.” Taeyeon smiled and offered Zero a treat.

“Oh no, no, this was my idea.” Jimin tried to convince the older girl that she didn’t have to pay for her.

“It’s okay Jimminie. Is the best I can do for my donsaengs.” The blonde soft statement made the younger surrender.

“So, how you’ve been feeling?” Taeyeon started the conversation. “I know you girls have been working a lot these past few months with your debut and the last two comebacks.” She giggled. “I sound like a stalker or something but I know this because now I’m a fan of yours.” Her cheeks got a bit red. “Don’t tell Red Velvet about this though.” She made shhh sign with her finger.

Jimin laughed really surprised at such revelation from the older. “No way SNSD’s Taeyeon is telling me that she is our fan.” Taeyeon let out an old lady’s chuckle. “Yah! Right now for you I’m just Taeyeon, not SNSD nor soloist Taeyeon. Okay?” She said playfully. “But I’ve always said this on shows though, like really guys I’m this close to call myself a MY.”

“Lately I’m a big fan of you and Minjeong, I think you guys are my biases.” She confessed. “You two are really good kids.” Jimin felt her heart sting with the blonde’s words. “Is as if you two remind me of something.” Taeyeon’s eyes lit up by the last breath of sunset coming through the window and Jimin couldn’t help to stare at her as she remembered the Taeyeon of last night’s videos, she really had grown up.

“About what?” The dark blue-haired girl was curious about the sudden nostalgic look on Taeyeon’s face.

“My youth?” She chuckled in embarrassment because that might have sounded cringe. “My friends.”

The waiter came on sight and left their order on the table.

“Unnie…” Jimin doubted her words. The younger was sure about what Taeyeon was referring to.

“Is there something troubling you, Jimin-ah?” The blonde’s features softened. Jimin nodded silently.

“Are you worried about GOT’s debut? However, I get it though, it’s such an important responsibility for you two whom are barely taking your first steps in the industry.” Taeyeon took a sip of her drink.

“No, not really. It’s not that.” She clenched her fists to cope with the nervousness.

“Oh, of course, you’re a pro then.” The blonde chuckled.

Jimin would have taken the compliment to her heart immediately if it wasn’t for what she was about to ask. She had to be quick, anxiety was taking over.

“Taeyeon, can you tell me what happened between you and Tiffany?” The tips of her ears got so red as soon as she blurted out her words; she couldn’t avoid biting her lip. The silence was deafening. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to sound rude or invasive.”

Taeyeon’s eyes looked at her in shock. Zero hid behind her.

A pause.

“I never met someone this bold to directly ask me about it.” The older girl admitted. “You are one of a kind Jimin.”

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry.” Jimin desperately tried to find the right words to explain herself. “I didn’t mean to say it that way. It’s just that-“

“It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not okay, I’m just like them.” Jimin took her hands to cover her face. “I’m no better than those stupid so-called reporters writing dumb articles.” She was so embarrassed, she ed up.

Taeyeon remained silent letting the girl rant about her frustrations. Something clicked. She once was like her, scared of the media, the articles, all of those memories coming back to her like darts hitting her weakest points. Suddenly she was 24 again.

“Jimminie, look at me.” The blonde offered. “I can’t.” The younger mumbled behind her hands.

“Let’s talk about it. I more than anyone understands what you are going through right now.”

Do you?

“Look, I’ll tell you everything. You can tell me what’s going on too, no one is going to judge us.” The blonde recalled a close friend of hers, his words still echoing despite of not being around anymore.

“What happened between Miyoung and I is something that cannot be put in text, news, or any sort of media. They don’t know our story. Not at all.” Jimin lifted her head up. “I bet you read all those rumors about us, right?” Taeyeon’s words were bitter. “Well, they are true Jimin-ah. I won’t deny it. That wouldn’t be fair for us.”

I won’t deny it.

“When I said that you and Minjeong reminded me of something, what I really meant was that your relationship reminded me of Miyoung and I’s. I could see parts of Miyoung in you and parts of myself in Minjeong. Every time I watched both of you play around in between practice or just the way you two treated each other I thought of us, about my dear friend.” Taeyeon confessed. "That's why I'm so fond of you two." She paused. “A lot of people know us as TaeNy. I gave us that nickname when we debuted. I remember being, so in love? obsessed? I'm not sure, but that I wanted to share my name with her. She laughed at herself, the young and naive Taeyeon. “Yeah, I loved her so much… I still do. She was my best friend, my roommate, the person who stayed by my side even at my lowest. She is one of the reasons I still pursue this path. If I keep singing…I know she will be out there listening.”

Jimin sobbed at Taeyeon’s confession, she related so much to her story. After all, hearing the actual truth coming from the blonde’s mouth confirmed that all those videos weren’t just for some people’s entertainment but a real story from two young in love girls.

“Is this what you feel about Minjeong?” Taeyeon placed her hand on the younger’s shoulder. “Is this what you are afraid to tell her?” The blonde wiped her tears. “Don’t be like me Jimin-ah, don’t go out there masking your feelings. Be sincere, I know she will understand, she’s a good kid and so are you.”

“What if she-“ The younger took a deep breath. “What if she doesn’t feel the same way?” The thought of being rejected or even hated by Minjeong kept her up at night.

“Well, in that case she just won’t return your feelings, but that doesn’t mean you will stop liking her, you will just learn a different kind of love.” She made a pause. “But what if she returns your feelings?” Taeyeon smirked trying to make the younger laugh.

“There’s no way that could ever happen.” Jimin didn’t hesitate on that.

“Yah! You teens are so pessimistic nowadays.” The blonde shook the younger’s arm. “How would you know that if you haven't even tried.”

That was the problem, there was no perfect timing for those type of conversations or even try.

“Ah! What do I do?!” Jimin shook her head in frustration. “What did you do, unnie? How did you tell Tiffany about your feelings?” She was hopeless.

“I never did actually.” The blonde sighed. “Oops. I Forgot to mention that.”

Impossible, there was no way Taeyeon never confessed. All those videos… how she managed to hide her feelings all those years?

“WHAT?!” Jimin gasped and even Zero barked. “Why?” She was incredulous.

“I don’t know. Didn’t have the courage I guess.” She shrugged. “But I’m sure she knew it back then.” Her cheeks blushed. “I think I just didn’t want to be selfish; you know. I knew she wasn’t comfortable here in the company anymore, not because of me or the group; she just wanted to pursue her real dreams, her true passions, enjoy her solo career in her own way even if that meant leaving Korea; I was no one to stop her. She wanted to be free.” Taeyeon nodded at her own words, proud of her mentality. “And I just chose my music, my fans, my voice. At the end of the day, I was still the leader of Girls Generation.”

Jimin looked at Taeyeon like a sad puppy, just like Zero.

“Ah, don’t look at me like that Jimin-ah.” The blonde looked away sheepishly. “We try to keep in touch. When time zones let us.” She giggled bitterly.  

“I watched a whole video about you two and all of your performances of Lost in Love last night.” Jimin revealed. “I was speechless. You two…”

Taeyeon got red, she wanted to laugh, cry, run away, everything. She had completely forgotten about that duet.

“I love you; I can wait for you endlessly…” Jimin sang a snippet. “I wanted to do a cover, it inspired me a lot, I have it on repeat.”

“You really did you research kid, oh my god.” Flashbacks of her and Tiffany rehearsing for that song came so vividly. “But I’m glad we inspired you. You should sing it with Minjeong.”

Jimin’s face got warm at the thought of them singing it, Minjeong doing Taeyeon’s high notes and herself following Tiffany’s soothing voice. Almost like a love confession.

They didn’t even notice when the sun left and the night came, they were so immersed in the conversation.

“I should go, it’s late and tomorrow is the last rehearsal before the MV.” Jimin broke the silence. Taeyeon just nodded sensing that the girl needed time alone to think about today’s events.

“You go first kid; I’ll be here ten more minutes.” The dark blue-haired girl didn’t want to leave her alone but she suspected that that was exactly what Taeyeon needed right now, both of them actually. “And please think about what I said, about talking with Minjeong.” Taeyeon squeezed her hand.

Jimin couldn’t make a promise but she would try.

“See you tomorrow, Jimminie.”

“See you tomorrow!”

Taeyeon sighed loudly when she no longer heard Jimin’s footsteps in the distance, tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

 I shouldn’t call her.

But she did.

“Hello?” The blonde froze, she expected that no one would pick up.

“Taeng?”

Her heart skipped a beat at the familiar nickname coming from her lips.

“H-hi.” Taeyeon answered awkwardly.

Yes, it’s me. I know it’s been a while. I didn’t have the courage to call you or answer the phone these past ten months, I hope you can forgive me. Taeyeon thought.

“Uh, yes, it’s me.” Her voice was shaking. “Yeah, It’s me, Tiffany.” It felt so weird saying her name out loud, but she couldn’t help but giggle at her classic pronunciation. “Tippani”

“Oh my god Taeyeon! You are lucky I was already awake for a schedule!” She heard her laugh from the other side of the line, she could picture her eyesmile.

“Ah I’m glad I didn’t wake you up then. I…” She cleared . “I just missed you.” A pause. “I was talking with one of our donsaengs a few minutes ago and I think I let myself go through a lot of memories.”

“I missed you too, Taengoo.” The blonde didn’t expect that but it felt like a warm embrace. “I know your sentimental .” The American girl laughed.

“She told me she watched all of our Lost in Love performances. Can you believe?” The blonde prayed that the American girl hadn't forgotten.

“Lost in Love? Oh! Yeah of course, that was the first time we sang together. How could I forget about it? That’s one of my most precious memories.” Tiffany almost whispered.

“I’m not upset, because I believe you will look for me again…” Tiffany sang. “Of course, I remember, Taeyeon.”

Taeyeon’s heart was filled with love and yearning. “I want to visit you and sing it together again.” Saying that felt like a love confession.

“I’ll be waiting for you then.”

Both of them laughed, enjoying how natural was for them to talk like the old days, as if those ten months didn’t even happen.

Three days had passed since her conversation with Taeyeon, and two since the last day of practice for Step Back; but all Jimin could think about was Taeyeon’s words of encouragement to talk with Minjeong.

“How would you know that if you haven't even tried.” She stared at the ceiling. She would have talk with her sooner or later, so, why not today?

You better move your .

She got up her bed, grabbed her phone and headed straight to Yizhuo and Minjeong’s dorm that was on the second floor, knowing Minjeong would be there.

Jimin knocked the door but got no answer. She knocked again and heard someone shouting “Coming!” as footsteps got closer and her heart beat louder.

“Oh.” The door opened showing a golden brunette, her face going from a smile to evident disappointment.

“You were expecting someone else?” Jimin tried to joke but it didn’t do anything on the girl in front of her.

“Actually, I wasn’t expecting you at all.” She said deadpanned.

"I see." Jimin cleared shaking off the remarkable contempt coming from the other girl. “I was looking for Minjeong. Is she here?” Yizhuo only narrowed her eyes.

“She’s not here, she told me she was going to the studio with Wendy to practice. She also said she was coming late.” Yizhou warned her as a sign to not try to wait for the younger. “Why the sudden interest?” The golden brunette asked coldly.

“I wanted to show her something actually, privately.”  She wasn’t lying this time.

Yizhuo scoffed. “Really, Jimin? From all the things you could’ve thought about you picked that?” She raised an eyebrow. “Like, how dare you to come here after all the time you avoided Minjeong shamelessly to just say you want to ‘show’ her something.” Yizhou shook her head in disappointment. “C’mon Jimin, leave her alone if you are going to be like this, you’re hurting her; She’s going through a lot already with the whole GOT project. She has been practicing a lot these days, even when we all know she isn’t capable. She’s doing all this for you to at least could look at her.”

Yizhou’s words felt like paper cuts, small wounds that could hurt the most sensitive fibers. Jimin didn’t know anything about this, of course she wouldn’t know about it when she was more focused on pushing the younger away. So that’s why the other day Minjeong trained until the verge of collapsing…

You’re an Jimin.

“If you really want to talk to her, go out and look for her on your own. Now leave me alone.” Yizhou had all the right to be mad at her knowing how protective she was of Minjeong.

Jimin bowed at her not wanting to cause more trouble and walked away silently with heavy steps. She heard the door close behind her.

This is my fault.

For the first time in weeks Jimin texted Minjeong.

karina 💙 : can i see u after your practice w wendy?

After 20 minutes she got a reply.

min 💖: how do u know that?

karina 💙: yiz told me

min💖: k, meet me at the practice room in 15

Fifteen minutes? Jimin panicked, that was less of the time she expected, it was impossible to prepare in such short time.

Ah what do I do, what do I do?

She instantly tapped on Taeyeon’s chat for an advice.

karina 💙: TAEYEON WHAT DO I DO MINJEONG WANTS TO SEE ME IN 15 MINS AAAAA

Taeyeon 🎤: ahhh, just be u kid u will be fine trust me, good luck kkkk

karina 💙: I-

Taeyeon 🎤: 🥴

Jimin exhaled and inhaled deeply, her hands were getting cold and dry. She had to go, it was now or never.

Jimin arrived at the practice room in exactly fifteen minutes yet there was no sign of Minjeong.

She’s coming right?

The tall girl decided to wait circling the room, until she heard some footsteps getting closer opening the door and closing it behind them. Jimin turned around and couldn’t hide her smile at the sight of the short haired girl.

“Sorry for being late, Wendy was really into her role of teacher along with Taeyeon, they’re so cool.” Minjeong tried to hide her excitement scratching the back of her head. “Hope I didn’t make you wait that long.”

Jimin only smiled like as if she was listening to a love chant.

Wait what, she was with Tayeon too? My text…

“No, no, I just got here not too long ago.”

“Oh, that’s good then.” The younger looked around awkwardly and Jimin noticed. “You wanted to talk with me I figure?”

“Yeah, I have something to tell you.” Her heart was pounding tremendously.

“Well, go ahead, I’m listening.”

Jimin let out a long breath. “I prepared for this all the way here however I can’t connect a single braincell right now it’s ridiculous.” The tall girl laughed nervously while Minjeong remained still but looking at her with puppy eyes.

She felt a pressure in her chest. “Don’t look at me like that.” She supplicated.

“Why not?”

“Because we need to talk first.” Jimin blurted out without thinking.

“What are you implying? Is there something you want to tell me without words?” Minjeong lifted her chin raising an eyebrow.

“It easier to say it with words.”

“I have to disagree on that.” The younger smirked.

“Well, but for me is the easiest way right now.” Jimin looked away, facing herself in the mirror for just seconds. “Look, I’m here to apologize for my stupid and childish behavior these past three weeks. You didn’t deserve anything of what I did. I punished you and I messed it up.” She waited a few seconds before saying the next. “But the other day when we were at this exact same place, you told me something that meant a lot to me in that specific moment. Because you know how much I care for your praises and words before anyone else.” Jimin dared to look at Minjeong this time. “And I really wanted to thank you but I couldn’t do it because I was scared you were mad at me.”

“I told you I wasn't mad at you. I actually told you that you could tell me anything.”

“Yeah, but you left.” Jimin reminded her.

“Because I knew you wouldn't say anything.” The younger remarked mischievously. “Did you?”

Jimin sighed knowing she wouldn’t be able to contradict the girl, she always wins these kinds of situations.

“Can you take this seriously?” The dark blue-haired girl chuckled softly.

“I am.”

Minjeong took a step closer to Jimin who wasn’t expecting that all, taking a step backwards as a reflex, but the short girl, not wanting to let her win, took another step forward to be as close as possible with the taller and look straight into her eyes.

“Tell me the real reason why you are here.” Jimin could almost feel Minjeong’s breathe. “Tell me, I will make sure I won’t go anywhere this time.”

“Are you sure? You won’t leave me this time?” Jimin asked but it sounded more like a beg.

“I won’t.”

Silence.

“The real reason I avoided you all this time was because I read an article, but it wasn’t like any other one out there. It was about us, Minjeong.” She looked at the girl worried. “It was talking about us in… In a way we are not used to.”

Minjeong just nodded trying to decipher what was Jimin referring to.

“The article made us seem as lovers in an actual relationship.”

Jimin tried to emphasize this last part to make sure the girl was aware of how huge of a deal that was. They were all over korean and western media, it was unbelievable but Minjeong seemed unbothered by this, not even a slightest sign of shock, it was as if she knew it already, which frustrated Jimin because she was just getting nod after nod but not a single word or real reaction back.

“You’re not going to say something about it?” Jimin genuinely asked trying to get a reaction.

Minjeong just sighed. “Is it bad if we look as lovers?”

Silence.

“Like, is really that bad if they make us seems as lovers and not just friends?”

“B- but we are not lovers…” Jimin denied it as quick as she could making the younger suppress a bittersweet smirk. She looked hurt at Jimin’s affirmation yet not giving up.

“How are you so sure about that? Then why would you ignore me if that wasn’t the case in the first place?” Minjeong fought back. “I dare you Jimin, I dare you to deny it. At this point everyone knows, you know, even I know.”

Jimin was about to lose it, all the walls remaining falling into pieces and turning into dust, there was nowhere else to hide, she was so visible to Minjeong’s eyes.

“I won’t.” She mumbled. Giving up.

“What?” Minjeong brought her ear close to Jimin’s face to listen.

“I won’t deny it.” Jimin took a step back. “But, don’t you feel weird that I’m telling you this? That they’re saying these kinds of things about you and I without our consent?”

“They can say whatever they want. I mean, we are always exposed in the media as idols. And what about it? What if they’re right and I feel not just platonic but romantic feeling towards you?” Minjeong tried to make a point. “You more than anyone knows we are not just friends Jimin, the way you look at me and the way I am around your presence is totally far away from being just friends even if we try to break every possible stereotype in friendships.”

So Jimin did what she had to do all this time, she grabbed both of her cheeks and kissed her with desperation, letting herself enjoy the moment she had always longed for.

After what it felt like a minute, Jimin pulled away slowly to catch her breathe but Minjeong pulled her back into the kiss right away, grabbing her by the nape to deepen it which made Jimin to place both of her soft hands around her waist to bring her closer; she wanted to feel Minjeong’s body all over hers as if all of the repressed desire was now pouring out of her skin freely.

Both of them had to break the kiss due the loss of air; the two looking at each other’s delicate but almost swollen lips.

“I’m sorry.” Jimin’s ears got read. “I know I got carried away, but you don’t know how bad I wanted to kiss you.”

“I think I get it now.” Minjeong’s cheeks were a bit red and the tall girl couldn’t deny how pretty she looked.

“This is what you wanted me to tell you without words?” Jimin teased, now feeling a little bit more comfortable around the girl.

The younger only rolled her eyes. “Yeah…” They stared at each other until Jimin asked for permission to hold her hand which Minjeon’g agreed to, carefully intertwining their fingers.

The dark blue-haired girl leaned over to give her a kiss on the cheek with delicacy, slow lips caressing the younger’s cheek.

“Can you kiss me again?” Minjeong asked shyly. “On the lips.” Her puppy eyes almost sparkling. Jimin answered her plea with a quick peck.

“Was that okay? Did I make you uncomfortable?” The tall girl worried.

“It’s perfect Jimin-ah. I wanted this as much as you.” Minjeong caressed her hand.

The short-haired girl’s words felt like a dream, like all of those dreams where Minjeong told her she loved her.

“I was so scared, Minjeong.”

“I know you were; I know you.”

Jimin rested her forehead on Minjeong’s shoulder and closed her eyes. “I didn’t know what to do, I felt so alone, I didn’t want to scare you.” The younger put her hand over Jimin’s head caressing her hair as she confessed all her past worries. “But Taeyeon helped me.”

She hadn’t told anyone about Taeyeon’s secret or her relationship with the American girl, and it was obvious that Minjeong didn’t know about it too. She had to keep it that way, she wouldn’t say something without the blonde’s consent.

“How? She knows about us?”

No more lying, she thought. It was Minjeong, Taeyeon wouldn’t get mad at them. Right?

“Kind of.” The tall girl lifted up her head. “You know, she, as us, had a close friendship with her best friend at the time, more than just platonic too.”

“No way, it was Tiffany?” Minjeong noisy took the best of her.

“Wait what, did you know?”

“They were very popular when I was a fan.” Minjeong took both of her hands in excitement. “I loved their relationship!”

Jimin was dumbfounded. “Well in the article I mentioned before, they compared us with them.”

“WHAAAT?” Minjeong hid her face in embarrassment, heartbeat going fast. “No way!”

“Are you happy or disgusted? I can’t tell” Jimin giggled kind of worried.

“I’m happy about it, it’s such an honor but still, it’s a lot to process.” Jimin took her hands to move them away from her pretty face. “It’s okay, now you see why I was so scared?”

“I literally watched a whole video about them along with a huge number of performances of their duet.” Jimin confessed.

“Lost in Love?”

“Yeah, Taeyeon suggested me that we should sing it together.” The tall girl said, scratching the back of her head.

“I would love to.” Minjeong beamed with adoration and Jimin couldn’t help but smile back. This felt like peace after the storm.

The make up artist was fixing her make up for today’s jacket photoshoot however Jimin was more focused on recalling the ghost of Minjeong’s lips on hers the other day.

Yesterday Minjeong asked what was going to happen between them now. The younger wondered about their relationship status, afraid of taking things too fast, but Jimin reassured her that everything remained the same, just like the old days but now with both of them exploring another side of their relationship, taking baby steps to give themselves a label.

And that felt right, they were respecting their own boundaries.

“Jiminie, can you help me with the zipper in my back?” Minjeong asked before the filming of Step Back started.

“Sure.”

Minjeong shivered at the contact of a pair of lips in her back, it was a quick peck.

“Yah!” The shorter girl hit Jimin. “Don’t do that here.” She walked away with her face red trying to suppress a smile only to listen Jimin’s laugh in the background.

“Ah, wish I was young again.” Taeyeon sighed as she watched the two from across the stage.

“Yeah, you tell me.” Hyoyeon joked making the silver-haired girl chuckle.

A notification popped on her phone.

“Taengoo fighting! 😘”

She smiled at Tiffany’s text before quickly get in formation with the rest of the girls.

The lights went low and the intro of Step Back started playing.