lately, you've been on my mind a lot. despite having someone new to replace you now, you're still the memory i find hardest to forget. we were so good, and i felt good about us too. we shared our laughters, our weepings, little arguments, the cute cringey things we say about each other. we were perfect in terms of everything but our own needs. you needed something i could not give, and i wanted nothing which you could not give as well. but on days when i did not have to think about that flaw of ours, i was just happy to be around you. your presence felt like a cold pillow and bed on a hot sunny day. although sometimes i feel like you can be a little irritating with your advances, i still find you adorable in all ways possible. i did not have to be someone else around you too, which i am tired of doing around everyone else but you. you accepted me for who i am (or was?) each time i confided in you about me not being enough. and just like that, i knew right away that you were the person i had been looking for all these years. it's such a shame that we have that little flaw about us. who would have known that something so small could break us apart. months ago, i was confident that we were going to make it at least until the end of my studies because i wanted to see you then. have not only your voice in my earphones, but your hands in mine and  your embrace around me. come to think of it, i feel like the coward now. i should have stayed by your side longer and returned the love you gave me. but instead, i was too scared of what was gonna happen and stepped back. i thought watching you from afar bearing all the pain i gave you was the right thing to do. i never knew i had the pair of hands you needed throughout all that. had i realized this myself sooner, i would be there with my hands at your disposal. i feel dumb, hence this letter. i am here lying down on my bed and thinking about all the possible things i could have done to keep you by my side without feeling bad about it. but i know that by this time, it is already far too late. i heard you've got someone new now, and i don't know how far is that true. regardless of that, i still wish you a good life ahead. maybe this is the kind of punishment i will have to bear for a while until i am completely over these thoughts of you. in the meantime, i am writing this to get this feeling off my chest, and hopefully i won't have to feel it ever again in the future. if ever in the past you have chanted to yourself that i will regret losing you, you were right. you won. i regret losing you.

J. L.

note: please stop harrassing me in my inbox. i am tired of it already. no one clearly knows who i am and my full story because you all come into my inbox with false arguments and information. leaving your name sign or whatever signature you have at the bottom of your message won't help either because you probably got the wrong person. once again, please stop dming me. this is nothing but an anonymous letter to someone anonymous. i have kept this letter as vague as possible.