"I'm falling for you, and I ain't stopping."

“Before we do this, I’d like to make things clear again between us.” Hyukjae swallowed hard and his chapped lips. His eyes scanned the man locked in between his arms. Donghae. The unbelievably beautiful Donghae. His heart hammered against his ribcage at the mere mention of Donghae’s name. He his lips again and clenched his hands too tight that his nails bit into his palm. The sting did little to nothing to stop him from the madness that he was about to do. He found himself having no intention—nor the willpower—to stop.

“We both know that this will be the first time and the last time we ever attempt this,” Hyukjae grumbled with ragged breath, his chest heaving in eager anticipation and eyes darting to and from Donghae’s lazy eyes and inviting lips. 

Donghae nodded before closing his eyes, expecting. Anticipating. Waiting for impact.

Hyukjae cursed under his breath. Jesus Christ. He’s losing his mind, and he's aware of that! But he leaned in anyway. Their foreheads touched and both of them visibly shivered at the contact. Hyukjae closed his eyes, wet his plump lips again before letting it brush Donghae’s thin ones. 

So soft. He let their lips linger together, unmoving—allowing himself to savor the softness of Donghae’s lips.

Hyukjae couldn't think of anything else but Donghae’s lips on his. He has Donghae against a wall, in between his arms. And he’s kissing him. 

He has Donghae in between his arms.

…in between my arms.

Kissing him.

…kissing him.

The unbelievably beautiful Donghae.

The literal smiling angel Donghae.

How on earth?

The sudden realization sent a wave of dizziness over him. Donghae craned his neck upwards, slightly parting his lips, causing him to breathe into Hyukjae's mouth. The latter couldn't, for the life of him, think at the moment whether that was intentional, accidental or pure reflex, but the movement of Donghae’s lips and the way his fingers grazed his chest ever so lightly—like feathers tickling him—set off the fireworks stashed at the back of his consciousness, and they exploded into a thousand of colors. So, he’s left with no choice but to surrender. Surrender to the unbelievably beautiful Donghae and his tempting lips. 

In total resignation, he kissed him hard. He kissed him for the first time but he's not so sure anymore if that would be the last.

Hyukjae woke up before Donghae. He watched him sleep. It's not hard to watch him sleep. He's done it before—too much, even, to be considered normal. He thought it was never going to get any more than that. Never in his youth did he allow himself to imagine watching Donghae sleep after kissing the life out of him.

Donghae moved but remained blissfully asleep. His lips were swollen. Hyukjae felt the heat rising into his cheeks and spread somewhere in the middle of his belly. He ran his forefinger on Donghae's cherry pink lips and softly chuckled when the younger groaned in response. 

They kissed last night. They kissed in their brief waking moments in the middle of the night and kissed and kissed until they both fell back to sleep.

Hyukjae's not sure what's happening between them. He liked Donghae. He wouldn't have kissed him if he didn't. He wouldn't have considered kissing him if he didn't. But he's not sure what this type of "like" meant. He's not even gay. Hell, he never even thought of that word up until today. 

Is kissing the same as you mean you're gay? Hyukjae thought. He imagined kissing another man only to scrunch up his face in disgust. He's certainly not into men.

But kissing Donghae just felt so... right. It was so natural to him. Sure, they were awkward and clueless with what to do with their hands at first, but as soon as they got the hang of it, they couldn't pull away from each other unless they had to breathe. He liked it when he kissed Donghae. In fact, right now, he's wondering if he could get to kiss him again when he wakes up.

Hyukjae rolled to the other side, away from Donghae's seductive lips. For heaven's sake, I'm not a ert. He castigated himself and buried his face on the pillow to calm himself down and tried to recall what led them into their current situation.

The group took a short break. They're in the practice room, panting and sweating from all the dancing they've been doing. 

While the others were caught up doing their own thing, as usual, Donghae and Hyukjae were caught up in each other. 

Donghae was slumped on the floor, his back against the wall. Hyukjae's lying down, his head resting on Donghae's lap, one hand stretching up to comb Donghae's damp hair away from his face.

"You two sure you aren't a thing?" Kangin broke the silence, his voice teasing.

Sungmin chimed in, "This morning, I saw you two again, cuddling and wrestling on the bed."

The rest of the members snickered and hooted at Sungmin's remark.

Hyukjae's mouth curved into a half smile. His eyes were closed, so he missed to see how Donghae blushed from the teasing and from his devilish lopsided grin.

"Shut up, y'all. We're just really close because we're the same age. You all are just jealous," Hyukjae replied.

"I'm also born the same year as you, so why aren't you as touchy and clingy with me, hm?" Siwon whined, obviously and shamelessly faking the hurt in his voice.

Hyukjae replied again this time. Donghae was unreliable during this kind of situation, turning still as a rock and tongue-tied. "It's because you're born rich, so you couldn't possibly understand our impoverished hearts. You don't share the same connection as Donghae and I."

The whole room erupted in loud laughter and cheers at Hyukjae's innocent rebuttal. The naughty members managed to give it a different meaning.

"That's definitely not what I meant!" Hyukjae sat up and threw his towel at Kangin when the older boy made kissing gestures with his hands.

"Alright, alright. Everybody calm down," Kyuhyun spoke up above the noise. He stood up in the middle of the room, facing Donghae and Hyukjae who could only stare back and shake their heads upon recognizing the mischief behind their youngest's eyes.

Kyuhyun cleared his throat before continuing. All eyes were on him. "If you really aren't gay for each other, I guess a kiss wouldn't flutter your hearts, would it?"

Donghae and Hyukjae's mouths fell open, while the rest sang their 'oohh's' and 'aahh's' in unison.

"You're crazy," Donghae mumbled. But no one heard him because the room already went wild at Kyu's indirect suggestion.

"What's so wrong with it? Leeteuk-hyung and Heechul-hyung kissed before as a dare, but we all know that it was just that and nothing more," Kyu went on with his argument, like he's a goddamn lawyer about to send someone to jail.

Leeteuk and Heechul nodded at the same time, completely letting their maknae pull the ropes out of Donghae and Hyukjae.

"In fact, I could even kiss everyone right now, and it wouldn't mean anything." Then he started walking around the room, giving his older brothers a peck on the lips. The rest of the members followed suit, and soon enough, everybody's playfully pecking each other on the cheeks and lips.

When everyone finished going about, their eyes fell expectantly on the two individuals who didn't join their "kissing-spree."

Donghae and Hyukjae looked at each other and instantly turned away after a few seconds of locking eyes.

Donghae's breath quickened despite feeling rested. When he couldn't take the heat any longer, he jumped up to his feet, his weight shifting from one foot to the other in nervous bouts.

"I need to pee. You guys should really stop this. You're all crazy," he muttered under his breath before exiting the room.

Donghae splashed water on his face, a failed attempt at easing down the tension wreaking havoc in his system. He eyed himself in the mirror while his wet hands ran through his hair. He clutched his chest. His heart hasn't calmed down yet.

He likes Hyukjae. He liked him the instant he saw him. He likes him a lot, and he never tried to deny that. At least not to himself. But although he could be naive at times, he's not stupid enough to do anything with his feelings for the other. He has his mind set on becoming an idol—a public figure—and whatever he's feeling for his friend would only get in his way. Besides, Hyukjae's into girls. He's been very vocal about it. Perhaps too vocal for his poor, lovestruck heart. 

'You shouldn't want more, Donghae. Watching him from the sidelines should be enough,' he thought. His heart broke a little, but he really shouldn't let his emotions get the best—or the worst—out of him.

He was about to leave when the door opened, revealing Hyukjae. He caught his friend's eyes in the mirror.

"You alright, man?" Hyukjae asked while making his way into the sink, slowly, carefully, like he's approaching a deer, afraid to startle it and send it running away.

"Yeah," he whispered and tried his best not to show any signs of how rattled he was.

Hyukjae in a breath and let it out before saying, "To be honest, I think Kyu's right. Don't you think so, too?"

Donghae looked up, only to see Hyukjae looking over his direction. He saw how his own chest rose and fell with rapid breaths and how his cheeks slowly turned pink at the intense gaze Hyukjae's giving him.

"What do you mean?" he asked, almost out of breath. 

Hyukjae took a step closer. Donghae took in a sharp breath. He stiffened and huddled in the corner, against the wall, until Hyukjae closed the gap between them. "I think Kyu's right when he said it shouldn't matter when we kiss," Hyukjae said low into his ear. 

Donghae bit his lip to prevent it from trembling. Hyukjae's expression hardened and he gave a half shrug. "I mean, everybody kissed, and it didn't mean anything. It shouldn't mean anything for us, too, right?"

Donghae gulped and looked away. 'I don't think so. Not for me,' his heart screamed but his mouth said, "Sure." 

"So, how about if I kiss you now?" 

Donghae's head snapped back towards the man who had him against a wall, and he was met with a gaze that burned him from the inside out. "If you kiss me right now, it wouldn't mean anything. It would just be a kiss." He's sure as hell his face is flushed right now. He could only hope Hyukjae would turn a blind eye.

"Yeah, it'd just be a kiss," Hyukjae purred, his thumb resting on Donghae's chin.

"Just a kiss..." Donghae whispered back. He's not sure how he's still able to breathe at this point.

Hyukjae's eyes drooped down into Donghae's lips. "I'm going to kiss you now."

Donghae's hands tightened into fists.

“Before we do this, I’d like to make things clear again between us. We both know that this will be the first time and the last time we ever attempt this."

Donghae nodded when he knew he shouldn't. What ever happened to not wanting more? But when Hyukjae's lips touched his, he could, in no way, stop himself from wanting Hyukjae and every goddamn thing about him. 

Hyukjae kissed him hard. He squirmed with excitement at how Hyukjae kissed him hungrily.

Kyuhyun said a kiss like this wouldn't flutter your heart. He totally got it wrong. Hyukjae's deep, hungry, and demanding kisses did more than flutter his heart.

It shook him to his core.

Hyukjae kissed him that night until his lips were sore. They kissed too much for a supposedly "one-time" thing. Hyukjae held himself up on all fours above him and he could only reach up for his mouth—pathetically. But if they ever find themselves in that situation again, he would most likely react the same way. 

Jesus Christ. Donghae slapped himself on the face. It shouldn't happen again. He allowed Hyukjae to kiss him again when he woke up that morning because he just woke up, so he's not right on the brain, he's weak, and he's powerless, especially in front of Hyukjae and his gummy smile, adorable mono lidded eyes, and morning breath. How could he refuse? But seriously, that should have been the last time.

Should have been. Because Hyukjae kissed him again later that day. He kissed him again the following day, and the day after that, and the next day after that.  And Donghae, being a complete disappointment to himself, allowed Hyukjae to kiss him any time he wanted, any way he wanted.

Hyukjae kissed him during breaks from practice, when no one's watching. Hyukjae kissed him in almost every corridor of their agency office. Hyukjae kissed him while they were in the back of the car, when everyone else was dozing off because of exhaustion. Hyukjae sneaked into his room every night since their first kiss, and he would stand outside his door, hands shoved down into his jacket pocket, casually swaying on his feet, waiting for him to open his bedroom door. And he would kiss him without warning, his crooked, playful grin in full force, knocking the wind out of him. They would kiss for a few minutes, clumsy hands on clumsy hands, tawny limbs on tawny limbs, and novice tongue on novice tongue. Then Hyukjae would pull away and whisper into his ear, "See you tomorrow," before finally taking his leave. 

Occasionally, Hyukjae would run back and steal another chaste kiss. Donghae never thought that Hyukjae actually had that adorable side to him, and he couldn't help but swoon.

Donghae would often fool himself that what they're doing were their "practice kissing sessions" for "future real kissing with other people." It's like on-the-job training, he’d tell himself.  It didn't make him feel any better.

To say he's confused was an understatement. He didn't know what to make out of this. They had an agreement (sort of) that their "kissing agenda" would only be a one-time thing—to prove to themselves that they weren't gay for each other. But he should have known better. He should have known that kissing Hyukjae would drive him to want more. But he wasn't expecting either that Hyukjae would want him the same way he wanted him nor was he expecting that Hyukjae would be more than willing to play his part into turning their "one-time kiss" into a "full-time make-out fiasco."

Now, the truth's slowly creeping into Donghae. He only wished to prove to himself that what he's feeling for Hyukjae was just his hormones playing with him. Geez, who was he kidding? Now, he realized in horror that he really couldn't keep his hands off of him.

Donghae let out a heavy sigh. He's exhausted from the endless practice and his complicated relationship with his friend and groupmate wasn't helping him at all.

He sat down by the stairs, alone. Hyukjae was looking for him a moment ago, perhaps to resume their kissing session that was cut short by Sungmin that morning. He had a mini heart attack when he heard Sungmin's voice from outside his bedroom, while Hyukjae was nibbling his lips and rubbing his tummy. The memory seared into Donghae's memory, too much for his own liking and benefit. He almost ran off then and there to look for Hyukjae and kiss him like a mad man.

Good thing, Heechul saw him. The older guy sat beside him and looped an arm around his shoulder. "You okay, little brother?" Heechul crooned. 

The gentleness in Heechul's voice made Donghae let go of the last remaining straw of his sanity. "Hyung, how do I know if I'm gay?" Donghae blurted out before he could stop himself.

Heechul was taken aback for a moment but immediately regained composure, taking the hint that this was a serious conversation. "Let's see. The fact that you're asking that now is already a sign that you could be. What