Everyday is the same. Again I'm sitting at the back of the class, my face screwed up in frustration as I stare ahead at the woman of my dreams, Queen of my heart, my baby girl, Irene. 

Everything comes with a price and two sides. 

Good side: She's single.

Bad side: We're best friends.

Price: Risk of being broken heart 

We've known each other for a little over 5 years and I wouldn't trade that time for anything. She's so sincere and thoughtful and she makes me feel like the most special person in the world.Her sense of humor is amazing, she is caring and considerate. Kind and soft girl that you want to protect at all cost. Sometimes her wildness will drag you in a crowd and dance all night without care for tomorrow. We dating, that would be the ideal situation however, she'd never think of liking me in that way.

Not in the way I like her.

At first, I thought I could hide it. It was something I could put off, for the most part, and just enjoy her company as a friend does. It only manifested itself in small heart flutters and soft smiles. Tried to limit it as just a simple,little and non harmful, crush.

But now, the emotions are almost overwhelming and I'm finding it harder to repress them.A dull ache follows me around wherever I go, causing my chest to tighten and my head to spin. It's not just a crush anymore and I despise it. I just wish there was something I could do about it. A way to stop all these feelings. 

If only….

The lunch bell interrupts my train of thought, graciously cutting me off from any further inner turmoil.

I suddenly find myself standing up with the rest of the class, gathering my things on autopilot. My gaze automatically drifts to her desk and lingers on the way her neck dips gracefully as she reaches into her bag.

My heart thunders and I bite my lip as I shoulder past, refusing to breathe even, in case my senses pick up more evidence that proves I'm falling for her. Like the familiar scent of her laundry detergent or the shampoo she used this morning.

It's hard not feeling sorry for myself. I freaking pity myself. 

All these pent-up negative emotions and nowhere to direct them. It's driving me insane. 

"Hey, wait up!" I freeze in my tracks, recognizing that easy lilting tone, before swiftly continuing on my way, weaving in and out of the waves of students in an attempt to throw her off. I know I'm acting stupid but blame my dumb heart, won't slow down. I'm aware that if we make conversation, I won't be able to control my reactions and might end up doing something I regret and I don't want to, at least not today. 

I veer left, crossing human traffic and letting myself into an empty classroom where I can hopefully wait out this storm inside me threatening to make an appearance.

What should I do? What should I do?

My head is spinning as my brain processes the images of the past couple hours; Her chin that was resting in the palm of her hand (I imagine it as my hand instead); The back of her neck as she cranes over her paper; the easy smiles thrown in my direction whenever she catches me staring.

I feel my face flush and I cover my mouth, stifling a frustrated scream. If only she could like me back. I wonder what our lives would be like if that were true. For me it will be like living in heaven and loving my Goddess of Peace. 

What kinds of conversations would we have? What memories would we make? What would it feel like to run my fingers in her hair, all over her body?What would it feel like to have her lips on mine?

.

.

.

I stop myself right there, ashamed despite having no spectators.

I bet it would feel amazing though, kissing her—

"There you are," a voice says suddenly, followed by the click of the door shutting. 

Oh ! Hope I didn't say it out loud. 

My head snaps up and I find myself staring her directly in the face. I'm all too aware of the pathetic blush still coating my features and wish I could teleport. Preferably somewhere where my thoughts can't follow me.

"Why were you avoiding me? Is something wrong?" Irene said with a worried look. 

I see the genuine concern etched on her face and I immediately want to erase it, knowing I'm the cause of it. "No," I say, stumbling over the simple word. The crease between her brows deepens.

"Everything's fine." I try to sound assuring despite feeling like blasting. 

"Well, that doesn't sound convincing." She hikes her bag up her shoulders and moves to sit beside me on a double-desk.

I instinctively scoot away, wanting to hide from this confrontation. She notices and raises her right eyebrow but doesn't say anything.

"So? Tell me what's bothering you," she says with more kindness than I deserve.

Here she is, trying to be a supportive friend meanwhile I'm thinking about and her hands and her—

I take a sobering breath, doing my best to wrangle in my thoughts.

What's wrong with me?

Why is this so ing hard?

"I just..um.. . haven't been feeling like myself lately," I say vaguely, shrugging my shoulders.

"Okay... ." she says. I can see her mind working at top speed and feel the sudden urge to kiss the frown off .

"Can you give me more information? Only if you want to of course. But I'm your best friend, you can tell me anything."

The tenderness in her voice acts as a salve for the words uttered, healing but not enough to banish the hurt.

Friends….. Best friends.

Is that all we'll ever be?

"Don't you wanna eat lunch? Your other friends are probably waiting for you." I say, a feeble attempt at pushing her away but the jealousy in my voice is plain as day.

She scoffs and grabs my shoulder, shaking me gently, "Pfft, no. Not when I could be sitting here with you, hamster. We haven't talked in a long time. This is our chance, Wendy."

.

I force myself to meet her eyes and find only pure adoration and sincerity shining there. The pressure of her hand on my arm succeeds in bringing the flush back to my cheeks. My gaze dips down to her lips and their impossible closeness. Her warm breath fans across my cheeks and her hand slides to my waist. I find myself saying something along the lines of "it is nice-" before her lips meet mine, effectively cutting me off.

A spark of electricity flows through me as I register the softness of her lips and the heat of her breath.

The rhythm comes naturally to my surprise and the tension in my shoulders is released, causing me to sigh in contentment.

My hand trails her jawline and cups her chin, something which makes her lips quirk up against mine.

We break away with satisfied smiles on our faces and she shyly intertwined our fingers.

"God, I've been wanting to do that for so long." Irene said with a dreamy smile 

"You have?" I say, the disbelief on my face so painfully obvious.

"Yes! I've liked you since forever but I thought you didn't feel the same."

My jaw falls open and I stare at her with wide eyes, "No way. I thought the same thing."

"We are dumb dumb," she laughs, squeezing my hand tightly, "I'm just glad we figured it out sooner than later, Wan-ah."

I offer her a wobbly smile, my heart soaring in my chest, ready to jump out. 

"Wait, Is that why you were upset earlier?" Irene asked with wide eyes 

I nod, grinning dumbly and she mirrors my expression. Her face lit up and her lips were still red from kissing... Beautiful.

"Well, Would you say yes if I asked you out on a date? Like not a friend date? It's okay if you say no, I just figured I'd ask in case--"   It's my turn to cut her off with a kiss and I feel her smile against my mouth.

"Yeah, of course I'll go on a date with you," I say with certainty.

She grins again and I silently wish to be the cause of it for a long time to come.

"Really! That's awesome. I have everything planned out already" Irene said with glee making me curious 

"You have planned everything? Were you going to ask me any time soon? Did you know about my feelings? Ho-" This time Irene shut me up with a deep kiss. 

"You know we have whole night and tomorrow and day after tomorrow and many more for you to ask me as many questions, my curious Wannie" She grinned and kissed me again "But this kiss was to prove you how much I wanted this, us"

"Me too" I mirrored her smile and ran my hands along her arms. 

"Hence, to answer your questions, I've planned everything because I knew it would be me who will ask you out *smirks* and yes, I was going to ask you on Valentine's Day and was hoping to celebrate your birthday as a girlfriend. I was not sure about your feelings but my guts always told me and you treated me differently from others, a very very good difference I must say and I loved it."   Irene gave me a child -like smile, before hugging me, snuggling closer. 

"Wow, I-I… you made my dreams come true. Forgive me, Irene, for avoiding you and also for being a coward. I was so scared to voice out my feelings, I just didn't want to lose you. I want you, I need you, you have become a necessity for my existence, my source of happiness and strength."  I said with a blissful smile, looking at Irene's beautiful dovey eyes, while she had her head laid on my shoulders and fingers playing with mine.

"Ditto. You are my dream too, Wendy. You make me happy and I want you by my side. And you are not a coward, just a soft baby but I will not forgive you for avoiding me. You know how much I love your attention, I thought you got tired of my clinginess." Irene said with a sad look 

I shook my head. "No, baby, I love everything about you. Avoiding you was the most difficult thing to do, I was hurting so bad. I missed your smile, your laugh, your warm hugs"  I kissed her forehead "Please forgive me, baby. I promise to always make you laugh"  

Irene blushed  "I-I'll forgive because you called me baby. And you make me laugh without doing anything"  Irene giggled 

"Heeeyy, are you mocking me? You bad baby, no ice-cream for you " This time Irene laughed out loud, slapping my arm lightly 

"Seriously, thank you so much, Irene. You made me the happiest girl alive. I swear to keep this beautiful smile intact on your lips, your cheeks always decorated with healthy pink and your heart giddy with happiness."  I kissed Irene who slightly pushed me away. 

"My god, you sound like I asked you to marry me. You are so cheesy."  Irene gave an amused smile.

"Why, you will not ask me to marry you?"  I raised my eyebrows and squinted my eyes in mock annoyance 

"Will you still say yes, knowing I'm scared of everything, get horrible mood swings and am bad with directions?"  Irene raised her eyebrows challenging me

"Yes, I will say yes as many times as you ask. Even though knowing you are a scary cat, dangerous on your periods, worst with directions, fabric softener addicted, clumsy, a nagging machine, clinger than koalas, ba-"  I stop as I see Irene was getting angry by second.

"You didn't have to list everything, I see what you think of me. We'll see if I am ever going to ask you the question"  Irene detached herself from me, huffing and turning her back at me. 

Panic raised in my guts.  "Oh baby, but you didn't let me finish" I tried back hugging her but she only jabbed her elbows at me. I hugged her back by locking her arms and resting my chin on her shoulders, in the way my mouth can be directly next to her bunny ears. 

"I was teasing you, my love. And a reminder that you don't have to be insecure about anything. I accept all your flaws and flaunts." I said peppering little kisses on her cheek. 

"Hmm, okay. When did you start to like me? And what FLAUNTS do you LIKE about me?" She said with a less angry face this time, good for me.  I got closer to her ear and whispered lightly the things I wanna say which is for only her to listen. 

"Hmm, to be honest, I had a crush on you without even seeing you, I only heard your melodious laugh and I was a goner. Then you introduced yourself to the class and I was having a hard time breathing."   Irene giggled at that.  

  "I love your face, it's so symmetrical and perfect. Your eyes are like you trapped shining stars in them, your lips look like pink clouds and your cheeks soft like marshmallows, your right eyebrow that always moves along with the beats, your big ears so cute, your nose bridge which makes your side profile deathly. And your jaws look sharp like a sword, it could cut me off.  *Irene heartily laughed with pink cheeks* "But your smile is the most beautiful thing ever. More costly and brighter than any jewelry in the world, and I love it when you wear it." Irene gave a sheepish smile and looked down, her ears and cheeks turning pink. 

"Then you sat next to me and my heart was racing. I felt drowsy with your heavenly fragrance. Vanilla and lavender are my favorite. Then you held my hand, your warm, soft and cute hand was perfect. It felt like your hands were made for me to hold it."  I kissed her cheek again and intertwined our fingers. 

"Then we started to talk and after that everyday was beautiful and filled with happiness because you were there. I started to like things you like, happy when you laughed, sad when you cried, I began to live for you. I did everything the way you prefer, I started to become punctual, more determined and optimistic. You taught me so much. Your motherly nature towards our friends, and childlike antiques made me fall for you. It wasn't all of a sudden, I gradually fell for you. The thing was that I never acknowledged my feelings or I just tried hard not to enter the territory. *breaths in*   But you know I finally realized my feelings for you when I saw you crying at your grandpa's funeral. I was devastated, because you were sad and I crossed the line of friendship." I took a deep breath again. Irene kept squeezing my hands in encouragement and laid her back at my front. 

"I didn't know how, no, I knew how. Look at you everyone will fall for you or already have but I did too. The moment I saw your face, your cheeks stained with tears and still fresh tears flowing, your star filled eyes, hazy and red. Your trembling lips, devoid of the smile I love. I was punched hard with the fact that I like you more than a friend. Because no friend would want to kiss the sadness of your lips, making you happy with everything they got or give up anything for your simple smile. Because I did and still do. At that moment I made myself a promise to always keep you happy. Doesn't matter as a friend or a lover. No matter what, I'll always protect you, Irene. I'll stand by your side in every difficulty, will have your back at every possibility. I will never let go of your hand. I will keep you happy."  

I kissed her t