—

“Did you really wait for me?” Jungsoo asked, the other one just looked up from his phone and welcomed him with a genuine smile.

“Hmm~” he hummed, put down his phone and got up from their bed.

“I told you not to wait and sleep first because i was kind of busy and—”

“You're already here. Stop scolding me as if what i did was really bad” Heechul cut him off then playfully hit his chest and Jungsoo just groaned acting as if it was really painful.

Heechul just shook his head while looking at him meanwhile Jungsoo, he just smiled—ear to ear while observing his lover. He never thought their relationship would really last long; they never matched up in everything and glad, Jungsoo could handle him well and their relationship.

“What were you thinking? Are you alright?” Heechul suddenly caught him, unreadable.

“I was just thinking if we should sleep now. It's getting late and we need to wake up early” Jungsoo lied, he had a lot of thoughts but he chose to kept it and not to mind what was running through his messy mind.

“Okay.” he simply answered and got back from their bed, lying down while looking at Jungsoo.

Jungsoo did the same, as soon as he lied down—Heechul already settled his head on Jungsoo's arm and used it as his pillow. Of course, Jungsoo loved it; having Heechul by his side was all he wanted.

“Stop thinking and just sleep, Jungsoo.” Heechul reminded, he slowly closed his eyes until he fell asleep on his lover's arm.

Jungsoo on the other hand, was fully awake and still thinking. He had a lot of questions and he wanted to know the answers. He faced Heechul, the man was already on his dreamland while him? couldn't even sleep even though having Heechul on his arm was comfortable and warm but it wasn't enough.

“I'm sorry, Chul” he softly whispered and gave him a lovely kissed on his forehead.

He didn't even know what was really happening between the two of them. 

—

“I ALREADY TOLD YOU!! SHE WAS THE ONE WHO STARTED EVERYTHING!!” Heechul yelled, his eyes were wet and red but Jungsoo didn't even care.

“You could've just let her—”

“LET HER WHAT? JUNGSOO!! THAT WOMAN IS TRYIN' TO WIN YOU BACK AND YOU THINK IT'S OKAY TO ME, HUH? ARE YOU THAT STUPID?!” Heechul said, crying as if he would lose everything; he would lose his Jungsoo.

“Do you have think im dumb, Heechul? I know what she was trying to do but who cares? Do you think i still love her? I don't, Heechul.” Jungsoo calmly said, they just got home and as soon as they got home, Heechul started to yelled at him.

Heechul was still crying and he really looked messy—sitting onto the floor and hugging his knees like a kid. Heechul was really lost in thoughts. Thoughts of losing Jungsoo scared him to death.

“But you left me when we were eating and you went at her table. I saw you, Jungsoo. I saw how you looked at her and how you looked each other even if i was on your side. I ain't dumb and stupid not to noticed everything, Soo.” Heechul said, flinching when he felt Jungsoo's warm hands

As soon as Jungsoo cupped his cheeks, he cried again—tears flowing into his face and Jungsoo just looked at him.

Even tho the man he loved was crying in front of him and ed up, he felt nothing. He felt nothing not even pain.

“Ssssh. Stop crying, okay? It was nothing, Heechul. I love you and only you, remember? You don't have to feel scared or what because im staying—you always have me by your side.” Jungsoo explained while caressing his face and trying to calm him down.

Heechul clutched his shirt and threw himself into Jungsoo. He hugged him tightly as if Heechul's life was depended on it but yes, it really was.

“I love you, Soo.” Heechul whispered and his heart was beating so fast and Jungsoo could feel every heartbeats. But for him, there was a pang inside of his heart and it was painful.

“I love you too, Chul” he sweetly replied, held him by his strong arms and gave his best not to show any wrong emotions because he knew, it wasn't love anymore.

—

“You cooked?” Jungsoo asked as soon as he got home and saw Heechul preparing their foods.

“I tried uhh i can't promise its good or what but it's edible and safe” Heechul laughed, Jungsoo pulled him into his arms that made Heechul startled.

“Thank you for preparing these foods.” Jungsoo whispered, he slid his hands under Heechul's shirt and felt his skin then he slowly spun Heechul's body, Jungsoo took his chance to stole deep kisses on his lips and Heechul did the same thing—they engaged into deep kisses and lost for a moment.

But still, Jungsoo felt nothing. He tried everything to made himself sure if it was still love—seeing his lover crying and kissing him felt nothing at all; not even lust.

When Jungsoo tries to remove his lover's shirt, Heechul pulled away and stopped him. 

“Hey, let's eat first uhh the foods are already ready” Heechul informed, Of course he ain't dumb not to feel something—he knew something was off. 

“Y-yes, let's eat” Jungsoo frowned but still calmed. It was new to him, this side of Heechul was new to him because Heechul never rejected him. 

They ate peacefully and Heechul never tried to open up some random topics as he always did when they were eating together. 

“Chul, are you okay? Did i make you uncomfortable when i've tried to—” Heechul cut him off and laughed at him while waving his hand in front of Jungsoo's. 

“No!! I was kind of flustered because you acted like that. It feels new to me, that's all.” Heechul defended himself and smiled at him. 

Jungsoo just nod and glanced at Heechul for the last time, he noticed how Heechul's smile faded away but he didn't care, he felt nothing—even tho he could see the pain of his lover, he just ignored it. 

On the other hand, Heechul glanced at Jungsoo and he was still eating, not even being bothered by his presence as if he was just nobody; Jungsoo remained calmed without looking at the man in front of him. 

The way Jungsoo stares, the way he smiles, the way he laughs or the way he says 'i love you' Heechul knew it wasn't love anymore—the love was all gone a long time ago but he chose to be blinded by his one sided feelings for him. They've been together for 5 years and Heechul knows him well; He knew that Jungsoo was already falling out of love. 

Jungsoo never said it but Heechul could feel it—It wasn't love anymore and Jungsoo stayed because Heechul knew that Jungsoo was just afraid to be left alone. 

'He didn't love me anymore but here i am, staying and hoping that one day—everything's gonna be alright and be back to the old days when Jungsoo still love me; hoping that our love will remain strong even tho I'm the only one who's still holding on' Heechul thought, a smile suddenly bloomed into his lips as he met Jungsoo's eyes.

'I'm sorry for hurting you, Heechul but I can't let you go. Not this time and not in this lifetime' Jungsoo thought, as he smiled back at Heechul. 

'I'm okay, Jungsoo. You don't need to feel bad for treating me this way—I love you and I'm staying.' Heechul thought, as he reached Jungsoo's hand and gave a gentle squeezed that made them both smile again. 

At this moment, both of them were lost but they chose to be blinded by their so called feelings.