Was she actually developing a crush on Chaewon?

Until two in the morning, Minjoo turned in her bed, thinking about the pros and cons. In fact, no, it wasn't a crush. What she felt around Chaewon was nothing like the butterflies Yuri used to give her and that little thing in her stomach when Yena would get a little too close. Back then, of course. Minjoo remembered her other ‘crushes’ like Sumin, the national runner she dated for a week, that girl from her maths class or Seo Minah, a figure skater from the Doksan club, but they had nothing to do with Kim Chaewon.

Thinking and pondering about it, maybe she had just grown up. At seventeen, little puppy loves become real. Before, for example, she didn't give a damn about anything concrete with the girls she found cute. She knew Yuri, Sumin and that classmate were straight. Seo Minah was even in a relationship with one of the players on her team, and she didn't have a problem with that. Just sighting them, imagining them walking around the streets holding hands, was enough for Minjoo. And this is why she refused to admit she had an actual crush on Kim Chaewon.

No, it was more a matter of… convenient attraction? Maybe? Some kind of infatuation.

Yes. That was a pure admiration for the way she graciously performed along with the music, her gaze being intensely captivating. That was the "Wow. You're breathing, and that's honestly so cool" type of infatuation. But that still did not feel right. Because this time, the figure skater's uality mattered to her. Minjoo was trying in vain to figure out whether or not she could possibly feel the same way, in any case. The more she thought about it, the more the images shaped themselves in the way she wanted them to. Every look Chaewon gave her could be interpreted differently, and Minjoo tried hard to rationalise, but she couldn’t control her mind on that.

If it was really just a convenient attraction like the one someone would get for that random person around their age in the plane or convenience store, why would it matter? Yes, it was an odd situation. Figure skating with a national..She could have been anyone, and maybe Minjoo would have reacted the same way. But something about world junior champion Kim Chaewon being Kim Chaewon made it all new and unusual. 

Because Minjoo hadn't told anyone yet besides Yuri. All of her friends knew about her crush on Seo Minah, and no doubt the girl herself knew, given how little discretion they had, giving Minjoo the eyes everytime she was around. By the time she got drastically closer to Yena, Yuri was aware of all the developments, reading their conversations and everything. When she started talking to the track runner and Sumin, all her team would speak about it. This time, Minjoo didn't even dare to betray any sign of interest towards Chaewon. Not because the latter was on Yena's exhaustive list of crushes, but rather because subconsciously, Minjoo knew that these feelings belonged to her and that only she could comprehend them. However, from experience, Minjoo also knew that talking about her crushes to others was like telling the story to herself, the way she wanted to hear it. After all, her subconscious was telling her that Chaewon could see her the same way, but in reality, the latter hadn't even followed her back on Instagram. Even though Minjoo liked some older posts of hers. It was that serious. 

So it wasn't just infatuation, though the world felt chic. But it was too early to draw any other conclusions. For the moment, it was just a surprising interest for a girl she found extremely talented, somehow pretty, intimidatingly charming and… yeah,  interesting.

Nevertheless, the '!!!!!!' thumped loudly in her chest when they passed each other in a corridor of the laboratories. Chaewon might not have seen her, or she did, but it didn't matter to her, and she walked by, laughing out loud with Yu Jimin and another national, while Minjoo had turned around, only to see her and her pink hair walking away.

-

Several whistles suspended the game, followed by a series of shouts from the frustrated coach.

"Stop! Stop! Stop!" He roared, red with anger, his usually perfectly tidy hair a mess from the number of times he had pulled it out in irritation. As all the players approached with apprehension, Cocho scribbled furiously on his magnetic tactic board, nervously chewing on the cap of the red marker. He then held it up, pointing abstractly and fervently at his drawing, scanning each of his players, "Does this mean anything to you? When are you going to properly use D-zone, damn? What's the point of coming to practice if you're going to play so stupidly and not listen to what I say? The defensive zone, damn it!"

Everyone lowered their heads, not daring to look at each other as the coach's anger washed over their shoulders and gear. They had already been practising for over an hour, and the fatigue showed in the way the game was going. Coach Oh's anger was justified but was nonetheless disproportionate. Sometimes he was a little too demanding, but excellence comes from hard work, right? Something he replicated every time after he got frustrated.

"Intak, It can’t be," Cocho threatened, pointing his marker at the goalie. "You can't let this pass. I told you to stay low, why don't you? That's a considerable loss of surface!"

"But Coa-"

"No 'but coach'!" Halted the man, throwing a new silence among the players. "Get down on your knees, or the N2 goalie will do it on the next game."

Minjoo dared to glance at Intak, who was keeping his head down. He had a severe sore knee for the past few days and pushed himself beyond his strength at every practice. Not wanting to say anything to the coach for fear that, unfortunately, he would be actually replaced for the weekend's game. After all, the Haneulae Training Centre had many experienced physiotherapists and osteopaths to keep the students in good physical condition, but that meant making sacrifices.

"Three-minute break, and if I see any lacking in d-zone, we do cardio for the entire session tomorrow, got it?" All the players nodded, not very proud of themselves on this one. Indeed, their team was strong in offensive play, thanks to Minjoo and Seohan, for example, but relatively weak in the defensive zone. Daehyeon and Jaehyuc were tall and broad defensemen, but the whole team did appear messy in the restricted area, making the goalie's visibility less efficient. This had to be acknowledged.

Minjoo skated over to Intak to give him an encouraging shoulder pat, "You're doing fine."

He grumbled in response, ruffling his brown hair after doffing his massive helmet. Despite their young age, as some were still only fifteen, they all had to bear the weight of the pressure in their own way. Although most of them were used to games' pressure and responsibilities, HTC was radically on the practical rather than the sentimental side. If they didn't meet the expectations, they were replaced. Although the stress of being a center was already heavy for Minjoo, she couldn't even imagine Intak's pressure as a goalkeeper. After all, one way or another, he would carry every defeat on his shoulders. But Minjoo trusted him. Because despite his age, he was passionate and determined enough to fight for his best and rarely deceived them in games.

Heavily, Minjoo dropped down next to Yena, who was clearly not in her most jovial mood either. The more time passed, the more exhausting the practices became. Perhaps because of the upcoming match against a Japanese high school sports team, or simply because the requirements of the pre-Olympic centre were becoming more and more stringent for the youngsters given such opportunity to take on to.

Coach Oh blew his whistle, and everyone gathered back on ice. There were only about ten minutes left, and it was time for them to really show what they could do to fulfil the coach's expectations. Minjoo stopped thinking about the rest. All that mattered was the puck in the middle of the face-off circle. The practice game restarted, and she sent the black puck towards Jiung, who raced towards Intak's net, and fortunately, the latter managed to intercept it despite his discomfort. Unconsciously, Minjoo tried to catch a glimpse of the coach's reaction, and his appreciative nod reassured her.

Now it was back to the neutral zone, and as a Center, she had to be available in both offensive and defensive cases. Minjoo heard Yena yell at her to aim right, and she did so just before Daehyeon slammed into her, sending her on the a few feet away. The fall was nothing like figure skating ones, and within seconds she was back in play, skating fast towards the attacking zone again. This time the rear defence managed to stop the pluck from advancing, and making a drastic U-turn, Minjoo managed to recover it. She feinted at the two defensemen and managed to score just before attaining the goal line, letting herself hit the plexiglass to catch a small break.

More satisfied than a few minutes ago, Cocho debriefed in better conditions. He wasn't trying to terrorise and pressure his players, far from it, but he was forced to be uncompromising, demanding only the best. He even put a hand on the back of Intak's neck as he congratulated those who attempted to play wider in the defensive zone. To end the session, Cocho gave them an appointment in the gym for a morning workout routine to reinforce their muscles before the play, and everyone left the rink after their team chant.

"I'd be so ing lazy to do another practice if I were you," Ryujin said as she dried her hair.

"I don't have much choice now." Minjoo tried to look casual, almost disinterested when truly her impatience grew as the skating practice approached. This time she was determined to break the ice—no pun intended— between her and the skater; she didn't know when Hwang Hyunjin would be able to skate again, and it would have been stupid to miss an opportunity to get close to the girl.

"I volunteer tho!" Sneered Yena as she gathered her things into her big black bag, a towel vulgarly placed on her head that wasn't supposed to dry much. She just looked ridiculous. Minjoo put away her perfume and closed her bag with a smile, ready to leave the locker room when Yena called out to her one last time. "Don't forget to tell her to follow us back!"

-

Slumped on the first few seats of the spectators' stands, wearing a black Ottawa Senators jersey, one hand in her pocket, the other scrolling endlessly on socials, Minjoo waited for Yu Jimin's practice to end. Luckily, Viderski wasn't hanging around the rink that night, and she'd taken the opportunity to devour candy bars and drink two cups of hot chocolate from the vending machine.

The classical music from Jimin's programme was blaring in the rink, and from what Minjoo could glimpse, the national level skater was practising harness jumps with a coach twice bigger than Cocho. Not that Minjoo had any preference now, but she was far less interested in the practice than she would have been if it were Chaewon's. Odd, she thought, how she would've never muse something like that a week ago when Kim Chaewon meant just a name and pink hair for her.

Minjoo returned to her phone as her playlist went on. The air was definitely colder in the rink than it had been during her practice, and the classical piece over her own music averted her from hearing the locker room hallways door open. On the other hand, and more pleasantly than usual, it was Chaewon who startled her by dropping her bag two seats away. Oooh, closer than yesterday. Maybe that was a sign, or a miracle or was she just in a good mood.

"Hi," Chaewon greeted only just enough for Minjoo to hear her over the music, which she immediately turned off. Her heart missed a bit as she awkwardly bowed like an idiot.

The next few seconds seemed insurmountable as Minjoo's thoughts raced. Come on, do it, just talk to her. But she couldn't just tap on Chaewon's shoulder and initiate a conversation about followings on Instagram, right? Chaewon would probably just give her a weird glance, maybe one of those deadly smiles that screamed 'you're silly' and move on. Still. Minjoo wasn't the type to think before acting despite all her nervousness. That was her weakest point, but somehow the thing that made her so strong, unique and appealing. In hockey, her Doksan coach used to scream at her from the benches, "Kim Minjoo! Think with your head!". She would see the puck and just skate to it, throwing right in the net without wondering if the goalie would catch it or not.

However, now it was more than her feet and her head. There was conceivably a little something else. Because Minjoo knew for sure she wasn't the shy type, heck no, if anything, she would flirt as she would skate, always shooting shots like shooting pucks. The conflict wasn't about how intimidatingly inaccessible Kim Chaewon looked. It was about all the things it involved. Her friendship with Yena was really precious to her, and she knew the girl actually wouldn't be mad at her for also having a sort of crush on the skater. No, Yena would even say who doesn't? And laugh it off because it would prove they were undoubtedly meant to be friends by having the same taste. But still... That felt awkward. Really awkward considering all the times Minjoo had nagged about how Kim Chaewon wasn't all that. As embarrassing as if she would start loving mint choco and fermented vegetables overnight, in a way.

Also, even if Minjoo wanted to believe so, the skater's interest did really matter more than she wanted it to. Because despite being absolutely lost, Minjoo knew what she was starting to consider was nothing like the silly things she had before on straight and taken girls. For once, Minjoo felt like watching from afar and creating fake scenarios wouldn't be enough. 

Indeed yes, she was freaking lost about this unfamiliar feeling. And side glancing at Chaewon did not help at all because wow, since when was she the prettiest girl Minjoo had ever set her eyes on?

Preventing herself from melting on the seat, Minjoo stuffed her hands in her pockets, mindlessly bumping her leg, waiting for the minutes to pass until she could look at Chaewon without it being weird. Not that the skater minded her anyway. She didn't even spare her another glance after that modest hi. But one again, Minjoo thought without thinking because slim legs that were definitely not Viderski's appeared in her vision.

“You should find gloves,” said Chaewon, mirroring the hands in the hoodie pocket thing. To make it twelve times worse for Minjoo’s heart, the tip of her sneaker kept lightly kicking hers. 

"Thank you for your concern,” Minjoo swallowed, and damn, she never knew someone kicking her feet could feel this good. She might consider this fact in a few years, but for now, she could only enjoy the delightful yet surprising thing that was happening. And with a last small kick and a very sly smile, Chaewon went away, swinging her prettily braided pink hair. Too struck to talk back, Minjoo only stared at her back until she disappeared into another locker room, nibbling her lips to hide that dumb grin. Ok. Maybe she was really interested in Kim Chaewon.

-

Another woman was present on ice for the late practice. She, like Chaewon, was wearing thermal leggings that fell over her white used skates. Her pink winter jacket matched her tanned, slightly wrinkled complexion rather well. Despite her limited knowledge of figure skating icons, Minjoo recognised this was Chi Hyunjung, a remarkable skater who had won numerous competitions and participated in the 1987 and 1988 World Cups. It was a bit intimidating to be in front of this respectable figure, and Minjoo shrivelled up in her jersey every time Chi Hyunjung tried to meet her gaze.

"Kim Minjoo, this is Chi Hyunjung, the choreographer we've been working with for two years now, I recall?" Eunbi introduced, pointing to the said choreographer with her gloved hand.

"That's right," Chi Hyunjung nodded solemnly, this time determined to get the hockey player out of her comfort zone for the smooth running of things. "I am Chi Hyunjung, skater, trainer, coach and choreographer. I work on dynamic choreography and have been coaching figure skating here for five years. I've been able to work with Kim Chaewon and Hwang Hyunjin, among others, and other nationals from the centre like Choi Dabin and Kim Hanul."

"Okay," was all Minjoo replied, not sure what to do other than smile with what little credibility she had left. Indeed, she also pinpointed that her baggy sweatpants and oversized jerseys of NHL teams were not the most appropriate clothes for figure skating lessons and that dressed like this, right now, she looked more like a clown than anything. Even more when Chi Hyunjung stared at her from head to skates, almost frowning in disbelief.

"Minjoo's a hockey player," Eunbi clarified. "She's helping us keep the flow of practices going until Hyunjin can safely go back on ice."

"Right." Chi Hyunjung shook her head, still carefully observing the hockey player. "The boy broke something, didn't he?"

"No. It's just a sprained knee," Eunbi said, reinforced by Chaewon's nods. She was fidgeting with the small chain that decorated her neck, again, seemingly in her thoughts even though she paid attention to the discussion. Minjoo gave her a sidelong glance, and Chaewon did not return it right away. "The doctor said five days off, and the physical therapist said a week of gradual rehabilitation."

"This is reassuring. It'll be more convenient if he could attend the upcoming sessions. Let's not waste any more time," the choreographer assuredly clapped her hands. "Chaewon, I've studied your entire choreography carefully. I'm really impressed with your work. I only made a few changes, but your routine is excellent."

Unconsciously, Minjoo smiled as she saw the cold, upright, impassive skater's cheeks turn pink. That too, didn’t lie.

The first time Minjoo heard the music Chaewon chose for her program; she got chills from head to toe. It was probably one of the most sensual, passionate, intoxicating songs she had ever heard. The singer's distinctive voice was so smooth, set to such intense music that it sounded like there was addictive substance in it. Minjoo wasn't distinctly good at English, but the explicit lyrics seemed very sensual and provocative, yet incredibly powerful. Mouth open you’re high. 

The second time she had such intense shivers was when Chaewon's delicious perfume was the unique smell that reached her. Her senses were taken in by the skater; her eager eyes directed at the mole on her neck, pink hair strands brushing her arm and a high-pitched voice counting the beat. Minjoo's heart gave out the moment the skater's cold fingers slipped between hers as she began to skate. 

Damn.

Minjoo sped up to keep up, and just after the first crossover, she fell hard on the ice. Chaewon, seized in the tumble, barely caught herself but immediately lost the thread of the choreography. Chi Hyunjung sighed on the side, and Minjoo had to rub her hands several times, sore from the fall and the liquid ice on the gloves, forced to ignore the acute pain in her knees. She absolutely knew how to do crossovers habitually. However, executing them in coordination with the only girl making her nervous while not wearing her usual pair of skates was far way more complicated than she thought.

"Be careful with the toe picks," Chaewon nudged her as she skated back to the identical position they were a few seconds ago. Then she took a deep breath, which Minjoo felt against her chest, their fingers linked, and they executed the figure again, this time passing the first three transitions. Minjoo only had to skate alongside, not mirroring Chaewon's movements as Hyunjin would. She was only there in support and was surprisingly satisfied with just seeing the graceful skater spin and jump.

"Your technique is good, but you have to feel the song more!" remarked Chi Hyunjung, seconded by Eunbi, who was watching the whole thing mixed between satisfaction and concern. "You chose it, Chaewon. Own it. We have to feel it too. Make the connection real."

Chaewon nodded, out of breath, skating towards Minjoo, who was waiting for her like a garden gnome in an old people's backyard. Feel a song? She huffed, wondering if the coach would also tell her to hear a smell. For the twentieth time at least, she held Chaewon's hand, and they repeated the sequence remarkably well. I know it hurts. Only something was still missing, according to Chi Hyunjung. The woman was frowning towards the bleachers, and judging from Eunbi's expression, it was hard for her to accommodate. To be fair, Minjoo knew she was the problem here, but that wasn't hers in this case. After all, she was only there to help, and if they wanted an actual figure skater, they could have asked the other boys at the centre.

A bit irritated, Minjoo stopped glancing over at the older coach and diverted her attention to the exhausted figure skater slowly sliding over her. Oh. Chaewon laid her elbow heavily on her shoulder, and Minjoo had to firmly restrain herself from betraying any sign of surprise. Not when the skater looked so tired, worn out by the number of times she'd performed the same complex moves over and over. Indeed, Minjoo was there to help, and at that moment, she realised that the most helpful thing she could do wasn't to magically become a figure skater. It was to let Chaewon lean on her shoulders.

Eunbi announced something from the benches, catching the girls' attention.

Chaewon's hand slowly slipped down the hockey player's arm before tidying up the few pink strands that had escaped from her braids. Her cheeks were flushed from the cold and the activity, and despite the increasingly icy temperature, a few drops of sweat were beading on her forehead. Chaewon was lovely right now, and instinctively, as she would have done to a teammate, Minjoo gently poked her fist against the skater's pink cheeks, only to show her that she was there, that she was definitely not Hyunjin, but that they also were a team now. As a result, Chaewon offered her a genuine smile. Exhausted but grateful.

"We're going upstairs to get warm and talk a bit."

"No, because, when is this gonna end?" Minjoo asked rhetorically, beginning to feel uneasy stuck into those narrow skating boots. Besides, if she hadn't found gloves in the locker room, she would have lost the use of her fingers by now. It was freaking cold now, and Minjoo's many falls on the ice left many red marks on her palm. Chaewon left her side without answering to skate towards the exit, and the hockey player sighed profoundly, throwing her head back before joining them.

-

It must be said that after two hours spent in the cold, with feet compressed in semi-rigid leather, falling onto the cold, hard ice, the carpets' comfort and the radiators' heat was incredibly comforting. Especially as they found themselves sitting on the floor, free of everything related to ice. Chaewon had pulled on a pair of loose-fitting sweatpants over her leggings, and she was barely visible as she was concealed under the hood of her ODSD hoodie.

"Minjoo?" Eunbi called out to her, and as it happened a few times already, Minjoo realised she'd spent several long seconds looking at the skater like a creep. But who could blame her? Chaewon was so cute, just here doing nothing more than trying to warm up. "Look, I can't thank you enough for what you're doing. Really, your help is invaluable, and you're adjusting wonderfully. But something is missing, you know?"

Well, maybe the fact that she was not a figure skater? Something like that? She cocked an eyebrow.

"I know what you're going to say," Chaewon sneered, still playing with her little gold chain. She tilted her head towards Minjoo. "Pair skating is all about chemistry."

"Chemistry, indeed," Eunbi confirmed. "Think of it as a team sport, like a hockey game, right? You're one with Chaewon, and when she tells you to hold her or look her in the eye, you have to do it? It makes all the difference in the execution of the moves... Not only does it build confidence, but also balance."

Ah, yes.

Well, to be honest, easier said than done. Kim Chaewon had that kind of stare you can't just hold with how much honey there's in it, quite intimidating and confusing, and way too charming. In fact, Minjoo was well aware her grip around the skater's waist wasn't firm enough and that she tended to focus straight ahead while skating, like in hockey, instead of meeting Chaewon's gaze, but that was understandable, wasn't it? Right now, she failed to maintain eye contact again, and if she hadn't turned her head to her socks, she would have noticed how it made Chaewon grin shyly.

"Look at you!" Eunbi had an eye, for sure, so it also entertained her. The coach was probably accustomed to couples of skaters and their unbelievable complicity, so seeing the girl being so awkward around her student was an unfamiliar sight, and it lightened the mood. "She may look like, but she doesn't bite, you know?"

"I know," Minjoo nervously raised her eyebrows. Feeling her whole body burn with embarrassment as the two skaters' attention was riveted on her, she hid her face in her palm. "I'm just tired."

"Hey?" True to form, Chaewon nudged the younger girl's thigh with her foot, a tiny smile dancing at the corner of her lips. Swallowing her saliva, Minjoo made an effort to turn her head towards her, foolishly letting the foot against her leg. "You stare a lot but never when you actually have to."

Minjoo opened , closed it, opened it again, then nervously lifted her eyebrows another time. Chaewon's closed mouth smile grew teasingly, her head tilted to the side with her usual cat-like gaze. The hockey player forfeited, letting her nervousness spread across her cheeks as she lowered her head, admitting defeat. What was the point of hiding it now? Who, for that matter, could look such a pretty and talented skater in the eye without having their legs melting and their heart skipping beats? It made Eunbi laugh in endearment, and Minjoo didn’t dare look up to the other girl's reaction. 

Eventually, the two skaters ceased jokingly making fun of her, and they concluded the session in calm music, straightening their muscles while relaxing.