It's Saturday morning, the sun is bright and there wasn't any clouds in the sky. It was so blue. But, it still couldn't beat the gloomy feeling on Chaeyoung's heart as she walks on these familiar brown-colored stone patio. Her hair is being blown away by the cool breeze of wind despite of having it in a low ponytail. This ing bangs . She thought as she removed the strands of her hair from her face. 

Chaeyoung heaved a deep sigh as she tightened her grip on the boquet of flower that she's been holding for an hour now. A beautiful bunch of pink roses, all the different shade of it. 

She smiled as she looked at it, "Of course, Jihyo knows just how you like it arranged" and murmured "Well, she better knows it by now. I've been getting this for a year already"

The loud beep of the door being unlocked echoed as Chaeyoung finished putting the right code. She pushed the door open and the sweet smell of vanilla engulfed her. Chaeyoung closed her eyes as she inhaled every bit of it, as it almost hit the spot of a core memory she's been dying to go back with. She opened her eyes and clicked the light switch before a tear could even escape, and it actually did, but at least Chaeyoung could put the blame on the blinding bright lights and not with her shattering heart. 

"Hi, love.." she smiled as she softly put down the pink roses. "How are you? Were you okay being.. alone?"

Chaeyoung looked around and gets the lighter on her back pocket. She lit the candles and replaced the melted ones. Chaeyoung sat down on the floor, her legs are kinda crossed. Her arms are resting on her knees with her hands clasped together. 

There she goes again, having a staring contest on those engraved letters on the black marble in front of her. There's a lump on and she couldn't even swallow it. 

"Did.. d-did you miss me?" Chaeyoung looked up as she clears , her voice cracked a little as those little tears escaped. "Because baby, i miss you"

Chaeyoung traced the letters in front of her, Im Nayeon, "Nayeon, i miss you so bad. I miss seeing your smile, i miss hearing your laugh, baby.. i miss your touch. I just.. I just miss you being here.. with me.. beside me"

And that was it. That was Chaeyoung's last straw before she lowered her head and sobbed like a baby. It's been a year since Nayeon, her fiancé, passed away due to a car accident. And it's also been a year where Chaeyoung was like this. Every Saturday she'll visit her grave, give her pink roses, sat in front of her grave and trace Nayeon's name, and cry. 

Chaeyoung would be like that for a good ten to fifteen minutes before she'll stand up and lit a cigarette. As she puffed out smoke, Chaeyoung would side-eye Nayeon's grave and chuckle. 

"I know you don't like me smoking but baby, you're not here to scold me or throw my cigarette away" she puffed out once more as she turned around to look outside. "Come back again to me.. then maybe i'll stop"

Chaeyoung stayed for an hour or two, just hanging out like they used to. She's playing music from Nayeon's favorite playlist while eating chocolates which is also Nayeon's favorite. Plus, a choco milk. 

"Baby, I have to go now. Still has some work to finish but you know i'll be back" she caressed Nayeon's grave as if she's caressing her soft hair, like she always do. "I'll always come back for you"

The door lock beeps again once she came out. Chaeyoung is walking again at that brown-colored stone patio towards where she parked her car. She was almost near when the park near the cemetery caught her attention once again. Chaeyoung has been planning to go there every time she visits Nayeon's grave but she always forgets or sometimes she's running out of time. 

But today, as she checks her watch she decided that she could spare a little time for it. Chaeyoung turned left and walked towards the park. There were swings and slides for kids, a little garden with bunch of flowers and wild weeds looking like a fence circling the whole park. There are also trees with benches beside it. The park was quite a little crowded since it's weekend so Chaeyoung picked the part where it's quite hidden. 

There's a big tree at the far backside, with a bench circling that tree. It was an awe for Chaeyoung, it's the only different bench and tree on that whole park. So, she sat there, slowly leaning in on the tree. With the cool breeze and the right shade from the tree, Chaeyoung could swear that she can fall asleep at this state. 

Before she did, Chaeyoung opened her bag to get another stick of cigarette and lit it. Two puffs of smoke with closed eyes, and it felt like heaven for her. But not until someone interrupted her peace. 

"Uh, excuse me?" a soft voice called out. Chaeyoung slowly opened her eyes only to see a girl wearing a white floral dress, standing in front of her. She was subtly covering her nose, or not. 

"Yes?"

"Oh, hi. Sorry for interrupting your sleep but can you.." then she pointed at the cigarette on Chaeyoung's hand. "Throw it? I'm not butting in with your business but you see, it's a park and there are kids here who might see you. And also.. i'm sorry but I don't really like the smell of cigarette"

Chaeyoung just stared at her as she talked that long. For a one word question that Chaeyoung throws at her, the girl gave her a long paragraph for an answer. All because of her cigarette. 

But then, it suddenly tugs Chaeyoung heart as she remembered something. 

Flashback...

It was their lunch break at school and Chaeyoung decided to go to the rooftop, the place she marked as her own place. She liked it there, it was peaceful as there's no one around. Chaeyoung could see the whole school field, she liked being on high places. 

And here, she could freely smoke. Without the school teachers finding out. 

Chaeyoung sat at the patio, her legs where dangling. The lit cigarette was already on and all her stress for that day was being washed out at every puff. 

She was savoring every moment of it until someone poked her from the back. Chaeyoung almost fell at the top of the school building out of shock. Her forehead was creased as she looked behind her. Only to see a pissed girl, with her hands on her waist. So ready to fight and yell at Chaeyoung. 

"What the hell?!" Chaeyoung exclaimed. 

"Excuse me?! Don't you know you can't smoke here? At the school premises? And what the are you doing there?! Aren't you afraid to fall? Are you gonna jump?!" 

"Can you shut up please?! And no, i'm not gonna jump. I'm not a !"

The girl scoffed. "Oh wow, then congratulations! So now get down before I call the guard"

Chaeyoung sighed in annoyance as she get back down. She's now standing in front of the girl who's obviously still pissed off at her. 

"There, are you happy?" Chaeyoung was about to walk past her when she suddenly grabbed Chaeyoung's arm. 

"Wait! We're not done!" she yelled again. "That cigarette, throw it now! It smells so bad!"

Chaeyoung stared at her in awe before she aggressively pulled her arm back. She dropped her cigarette on the floor and stomped on it before walking out. 

She could still hear the girl blabbering about not throwing it at the trash can. "Hey! I'm Im Nayeon, your class president and you'll be dead meat tomorrow!"

Chaeyoung shook her head, "Okay Im Nayeon, see you then" and sloppily waved goodbye. 

...

"Heyyy! Can you hear me?" Chaeyoung snapped out of her thoughts as the girl waved her hand in front of her face. 

"Oh, yeah. I'm sorry about that"

Chaeyoung stood up as she decided to go, as it wasn't that peaceful anymore. But with just few steps, that soft voice spoke again. 

"Uh.. the cigarette?" she smiled shyly, without moving from the place where she stood. 

Chaeyoung smiled a little. "Don't worry, i'll throw it" and proceeds to walk away. 

"I'm Mina!" she heard the girl shouted. 

She heard her. Chaeyoung heard her. But it was too much to handle. Everything is. It was like a deja vu for her. Chaeyoung could feel her heart hurting again. It's getting heavy. 

It hurts how she was reminded of Nayeon because of that girl. Everything around her, it reminds her of her fiancé. And it . 

It to be reminded again and again by the thing that's hurting you over and over. 

Is it that girl's fault? That they both hated the cigarette?

No, Chaeyoung. Stop it. 

They weren't alike. They were different. 

That girl, Mina is it? She was too soft. 

Nayeon? My Nayeon. 

Nothing could beat her.