Cold. All around. That was the first thing Mina noticed while getting out of the group’s van. It had been snowing since she woke up.

“Snow.” Mina thought. “Jihyo loved snow.”

Some days, she still couldn’t believe that Jihyo was dead. On others, it was all she thought about. 

She and the other members sat down on the seats. She was surprised at the amount of people there. Hundreds of Onces. Journalists with gigantic cameras were gathered at the side. Trust JYPE to use someone’s death as publicity.

Jihyo wouldn’t have wanted this. She would have wanted a quiet and peaceful ceremony with her family and closest friends. Not this. None of the people she was actually close to were allowed to attend except her closest family and the Twice members.

PD-nim headed towards the stage and started speaking into the mic. “As we all know, we have gathered here today because of the unfortunate demise of Jihyo. Park Jihyo was an extremely wonderful person, a capable leader, a passionate performer and a devoted friend. As a part of Twice...”

Mina started zoning out, thinking about the last time she had talked to Jihyo. She’d been so excited for her first solo photoshoot. Mina remembered saying goodbye to her when she got into the car with Manager-nim. “The last goodbye...”, she thought.

 

*                   *                   *

 

Everything hurt.

That was the first thing Jihyo noticed when she woke up. Her head pounded like someone had stuck 10 nails inside her skull and then screamed for ten hours straight. Her neck felt like two rough pebbles grinding together. The pain in her leg was what she thought Sana’s legs would feel like after tripping for the thousandth time(She was never going to yell at Sana for skipping practice due to a fall again). Nevertheless, she got up.

Her head spun, and the floop seemed to sway under her feet. She used the wall to balance herself and looked around.

White. That was all she could see. It was everywhere.

“It’s been a long time, Park Jihyo,” said a familiar voice.

Jihyo almost tripped in her hurry to turn around, and her face grew nearly as white as the walls when she saw the person behind her.

“Minyoung?”

“Pleased to meet you. Again.”

“How are you here? Where am I? How did I come here?” Jihyo’s head exploded in a flurry of questions, but she wasn’t able to say any of them out loud. 

“Don’t worry, sweetheart.” Minyoung said the word with such malice that Jihyo could feel the hatred bouncing off of her. “I’ll answer all your questions soon.”

“Where am I?” Jihyo decided that was a good question to ask first.

“Purgatory.”

“Purgatory? What? I can’t be-” Images started flashing through Jihyo’s eyes. Sitting in the car with Manager-nim. The truck speeding at them. The driver trying to swivel to the side and the van skidding over the December ice. Manager-nim falling over as the van started rolling. Pain. All over. Too much of it.

“Dead?” asked Minyoung, ”Unfortunately for you, you are dead. Live with it,” she said, smiling cruelly. 

“I can’t die now!” exclaimed Jihyo. “I haven't even been in Twice for five years! I've just revealed to Onces that I’m dating Daniel!.”

"Ah, Daniel. He was originally going to be here with some others in my place. He did love you, a lot."

“In your place?” Jihyo asked. "Why are you here anyways?"

"Ah, that’s a good question, sweetheart."

"Don't call me that," Jihyo snarled.

Minyoung turned to face the walls. 

"You see, in purgatory, 4 people judge you. The one you were kindest to, the one you were cruellest to, the one who was saved by your actions, and the one who died because of them. Somehow, I ended up being all four."

Jihyo sank down to her knees, her thoughts jumbled. It had been a long time since she had seen Minyoung, and it brought up feelings she had worked hard to suppress. There was also the matter of Twice, and Daniel, and the fact that she was dead.

Then it truly hit her. She was never going to see Twice again. She was never going to see Daniel again. She was never going to feel sand under her toes when running on the beach, never going to hear SNSD songs again, never going to have an acting debut, never going to live again.

She was scared, absolutely terrified. Minyoung looked nothing like she remembered.

Sure, the person in front of her had the same eyes, the same nose, the same hair. But she wasn’t her Minyoung. 

Minyoung was cheerful. She had the fire of determination in her eyes. She had a goal, and she would do what it took to get there.

This person was nothing like Minyoung. She glared at Jihyo with hatred in her ice-cold eyes. Her face had a scornful look on it, the kind you'd see on a villain's face in a k-drama.

She walked back to face Jihyo, glaring at the crying woman below her. "Oh, my sweetheart, do you need to remember how awful my life was? Let me take you there..." She brought her fingers up and flicked Jihyo's forehead.

 

Seoul, Korea

February 28, 2014.

 

Minyoung and Jihyo were lying down on their bed, gazing up at the ceiling. They'd been having a particularly interesting conversation about Dahyun's Bbassae performance, but they'd eventually stopped talking and just held hands instead. Minyoung was tired, but not sleepy. Jihyo on the other hand looked like she was halfway asleep already. The two of them had volunteered to wash the dishes that night, and had stayed up until after everyone else fell asleep. Minyoung thought about the previous day. It had been her birthday, and JYPE had given both her and Jihyo a holiday. They'd spent the entire day roaming the streets of Seoul, and had gone on a walk aside the Han river in the evening. Almost romantic, Minyoung thought. 

Minyoung had liked Jihyo ever since the first day they met. She was almost sure Jihyo felt the same way about her, but didn't want to confess because of the fear of losing her only true friend. She rolled around to face Jihyo, and almost squealed at how cute she looked. However, before she could say anything, Jihyo leaned forward, kissed her on the lips, snuggled her closer and fell asleep.

Minyoung took a while to process what had happened. She was about to panic once she did, but then looked at Jihyo smiling in her sleep. She smiled too, and slowly fell asleep.

 

Seoul, Korea

March 28, 2014

 

She was breathing too hard. She knew she was. She kept telling herself that she had no reason to be this scared, and that Jihyo likes her too. Obviously she does. She wouldn’t have kissed Minyoung otherwise. 

She followed the road into Jihyo’s secret space. Every Friday evening, Jihyo would go sit inside a small area in the park. It wasn’t very visible, and most people missed the green entry gate, so she usually had the space to herself. Sometimes she took Minyoung along, sometimes she didn’t. 

Minyoung walked up to the gate, clutching the specially made bouquet, and was about to open it when she decided to look through the peephole. She wondered what Jihyo did in there all alone, and Jihyo would be weirdly vague every time she asked.

There she saw something that she had never even imagined.

Jihyo was there - but not alone. She was kissing a boy.

She dropped the bouquet and ran all the way home.

Her mother couldn’t understand why she’d been sobbing for the past three hours. She tried to ask her but Minyoung refused to say anything. Homouality was still taboo in Korea, if she told her mother the truth she might get disowned - or worse.

That night, the pain only increased. She’d been so used to sleeping next to Jihyo in the dorms that the room at her house felt lonely. Sobbing herself to sleep, all she felt was pain. Undulating and everlasting.

 

Seoul, Korea

January 24, 2015

 

She couldn’t believe this.

She’d worked hard her whole life for this. She’d been so happy when 6mix was announced. She had even planned out matching outfits for the members. But it was all for nothing. 

The debut of 6mix was cancelled. 

She ran to the dorms sobbing, and spent about half an hour crying on her bed, when she spotted a rope out of the corner of her eye.

She began thinking about the consequences, and realized she had nothing to live for. 6mix was cancelled, she was growing more distant with her family everyday, and Jihyo - Jihyo could never be hers.

Almost in a trance, She wound the rope around and tied it to the fan. She was about to put her neck inside the loop, when Jihyo burst through the door.

“Minyoung!”

She wrangled the rope away from her hands and pushed her onto the bed.

“What were you thinking?!”

“I wasn’t.” said Minyoung, trying to look anywhere other than the glowering Jihyo in front of her. 

“Why would you do this?” 

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“I, your best friend since you entered the company, wouldn’t understand? I know there’s been something wrong with you for a few months, so just spit it out.”

“You want me to spit it out?” asked Minyoung. “Fine. I’m in love with you.”

Jihyo spluttered out, “You’re what?”

“In love with you. There you go. I’ve said it.”

Jihyo mumbled something indistinctly.

“What?” asked Minyoung.

“I’m in love with you too.”

 

Seoul, Korea

November 20, 2015

 

Minyoung was tired. Tired of living like this. Tired of watching Twice succeed while she sat crying in her house. She was going to reveal everything, no matter what the consequences were.

Before the filming of the final episode of Sixteen, Jihyo had dragged her to JYP’s office, because she didn’t want to ‘start our debut with a lie’. 

JYP had been furious. Neither of us had expected that, as JYP was generally extremely accepting.

He eliminated Minyoung.

She expected Jihyo to stand up for her, or to at least try talking to JYP once. Jihyo did nothing.

“I can’t put my career on risk! I’ve worked hard for my whole life for this!”

“And I haven’t?” asked Minyoung, before storming out of the dorms. Forever.

 

Minyoung stood in front of the Dispatch office, working up the courage to go inside. Everyone knew that Dispatch was the place to go to reveal information. She was about to go inside when someone in a black hoodie and jeans put a napkin over her nose and mouth and pulled her into a side alley. 

“Mmpff-” Minyoung tried shouting out but no one heard her.

Suddenly her whole body went limp. She tried moving, but she couldn’t even get her fingers to wiggle around.

Her heart stopped when she saw the person under the mask. It was Jihyo.

She was crying.

“I’m so sorry, Minyoung. I never wanted to do this,” she said. “I can’t risk losing my career. I’ve worked hard for this-” She took a knife out of her hoodie, a stone-cold look in her eyes, “-and I’m not going to let anyone take this opportunity from me, not even you.”

She reached out and slit Minyoung’s throat. 

 

*               *               *

 

Jihyo was sobbing. She had experienced more pain in the span of ten minutes than she thought was possible in a whole lifetime. 

“Do you know something?” Minyoung asked, “If anyone else was asked to decide your fate, they would have said heaven. No questions asked. I guess I’m the only person who knows all your secrets, even the darkest ones.”

More tears escaped from Jihyo’s eyes, and fell onto the cold, hard ground.

“Now, Jihyo, where do you think you belong? Heaven-” she grabbed Jihyo’s arm and pulled her up to face her, “-or hell?”

When Jihyo remained silent, a cruel smile slid onto Minyoung’s face, and she let go of her arm. Jihyo fell back onto the floor. 

 

“Aamon, Forneus, take her away.”