A/N: Walang proofreading na naganap, guys. You might spot mistakes ahead. Will edit later.

Winter

It's the first week of December. That only means 2 weeks from now, our office will shut down for a week. It's been a holiday practice na matagal na naming ginagawa since my grandfather's time as chairman emeritus (bless his soul). And now that I am the acting President while my father fixes his , parang mas gusto kong dagdagan ng ilan pang araw ang holiday vacation ng mga tao this year. We've been through a lot and only God knows kung ilan karayom ang dinaanan naming lahat mairaos lang ang buong taon na ito na puno ng kamalasan. 

I just hope our people found something good this year to save their sanity.

Because I found mine. 

My own little salvation sleeping peacefully in my arms right now.

My wife. 

I still couldn't believe it.

I woke up today and thankful to the heavens na hindi ito panaginip.

She's always beautiful every hour of every day. Pero looking at her now, with hair messily draped on her face, mouth slightly open and so adorable with her cute little snores, I swear I would keep this image on my mind and file it under 'ways to pacify Winter when everything goes south'

But just to be sure, kuhanan ko na lang din siya ng picture. Dahan-dahan kong inabot ang aking telepono from the nightstand at itinapat sa kanyang mukha. 

*shutter* 

Oops. I forgot to turn off the sound. Nagising ata ang prinsesa!

"That'll cost you 200,000 pesos for one picture, woman" She said in her rough morning voice. With eyes still closed, pinulupot niya ang kanyang kamay sa aking leeg para mas hilahin papalapit sa kanya. 

"Fine by me. Kahit ubusin ko pa lahat ng pera ko sa pictures mo" 

Umingit siya ng onti and laid on top of me. Sige kahit hindi ako makahinga ng masyado ready naman yung inhaler sa gilid.

"Alam mo ikaw, 'wag mo kong sanayin sa mga pa-cute mo dyan ha" She gave me a light peck and went back to fully resting her head on my chest.

"Rina, I've wasted more than a decade na hindi ko napapakita yung cute charms ko sa'yo kaya bahala kang magsawa diyan, I don't care"

That night, when we confessed to each other, was the best night of my life. I don't think I could ever forget the first time I felt her lips on mine. 

How the vastness of the night sky looked as if we were just a tiny part of the grand scheme of things, but also feeling like nothing existed at that moment but the two of us. 

I told her everything she needed to know. Mula sa pagka-hopeless ko sa kanya simula noong high school and how I tried to channel my feelings to other... stuff. things like flirting with girls older than me at kung ano-ano pang katarantaduhan ko noong highschool. I was young and naive and petty, but I did what I had to do para mawala siya sa isip ko kahit alam kong isang malaking kalokohan lang ito. I saw how sad she was hearing this from me. 

She said she was sorry, and that she wished na sana matagal na niyang napagtanto ang nararamdaman niya para sakin.

Hindi naman niya kasalanan. It was nobody's fault why we had to feel and experience everything. E sa talagang hindi niya ako gusto noon. She was straight as a ruler back then. Most especially, I'd rather love her in silence than break a friendship na buong buhay kong gustong panatilihin. Also, patay na patay yun sa mga nagiging boyfriend niya. Lalo na nung college?

That was the worst time for me.

Madalas kapag pumupunta kami nila Ning and Gigi sa bahay nila Karina sa Binondo, her then boyfriend, Hyunjin would always be there. Mabait naman si Hyunjin, understanding, matalino.

Pero under kay Karina.

She always made sure she had the upper hand sa relationships niya. You could say she is an alpha female. Kaya kapag nag-aaway sila sa harap namin, or more like siya yung nang-aaway, kahit masakit para sakin, ako ang madalas magbigay ng payo sa kanya. But those decisions always bit me back. Lalo na noong kinausap ko one time si Hyunjin to exert more patience on her. He went to look for Karina after that. Malay ko ba na nasa kusina siya. 

So Gigi and I decided to get more ice from the fridge for our cocktail, and lo and behold they were making out there like their lives depended on it. 

Literal na hindi ako makahinga noong panahon na 'yon. I didn't have my inhaler back then, and I was so grateful for Gigi's quick thinking ng kumuha siya ng brown paper bag for me to breathe into. And that was the time Giselle knew of my unrequited love for our dear friend.

 "I already had a hunch, Win. I was just waiting for you to tell us, you know."

"Us?"

"Yeah? Ning knows it, too, stupid"

B-but how??

"Win," she scoffed, "you're not really slick, you know? Parang si Katarina lang ang manhid dyan sa nararamdaman mo. But my spidey senses are strong."

That was too much for me to process in one night.

Karina and Hyunjin making out. 

Our best friends knowing my worst-kept (apparently for them) secret and trying to console me.

So I went home immediately after that. I wanted to shut out everything. Naging madalang ang pagsama ko sa kanila after that, at napadalas ang pakikipaglandian ko sa iba.

"So who's this new flavor of the month? "

I was with a girl named Wonyoung sa University cafeteria ng isang beses ay madatnan ako ni Karina after months of not meeting her. I swear my blood went down the drain nang bigla siyang umupo sa tabi ko. I got so embarassed kay Wonyoung and so I told her to meet her later instead. 

"So it's high school all over again, Win? Is this how it's going to be ha? Tuloy niyang pagkakasabi nang kaming dalawa na lang ang natira sa upuan."

"What are you talking about?" I asked as if it was the most confusing question ever, "Nakakahiya kay Wonyoung, Rina! "

"Don't try to get out of this, Minjeong. Umiiwas ka na naman samin e. I see you everywhere and yet you don't come near me, I text and call but you don't answer! Do you know how frustrating it is? Hindi na tayo mga bata para mag-feeling high school so can you please tell me what the freak is going on?"

What she didn't know was patago akong nagkikipagkita sa dalawa naming kaibigan, and most of the time all they did was to console my pathetic to the point na ginawa na lang naming katatawanan nila Gi and Ning. Bwisit na bwisit ako nung nakita yung contact name ko sa phone ni Ning Ning.

'Winter the Sad Girl'

"It's called making friends other than you, guys. Get a hold of yourself."

She scoffed, "Unbelievable. Did I ever tell you to stop making friends? Ganyan ba kababaw ang tingin mo sa akin, Minjeong? I just wanted to see my best friend that's all! Makipagkaibigan ka sa lahat for all I care, but sana naman," I made a mistake of looking briefly into her eyes, dahil saktong nakita ko ang pagtulo ng kanyang luha. 

"Sana naman hindi mo ko kalimutan, hindi mo kami iwasan" 

Binalot kami ng katahimikan pansamantala. I could hear her deep sighs and quiet sobs. 

Karina... hindi talaga kita matiis. it hurt me to watch her like this.

"Sorry na, don't cry please baka sabihin pinapaiyak ko yung queen bee nila o" I knew people were staring at us kanina pa. I didn't care if it was only me. Di ko sila ikamamatay. I was worried about Karina.

"Shut up"

"Inom ka muna ng tubig," Alok ko sa kanya ng bottled water at agad niyang inagaw to sa akin. She looked like a little kid throwing tantrums sa isang mall, and her being adorable like this made me giggle a little. She hit me in the arm and told me na next time na gawin ko pa ulit ang pag-iwas sa kanila, she's going to kidnap me at ikukulong sa kwarto.

That was the last time na umiwas ako sa kanya. 

Then when they she broke up with Hyunjin a few weeks after, akala ko makakapagpahinga muna ang puso ko. But a few weeks after, she's got another man holding hands with her one night when we went out for drinks. Ipapakilala daw niya sa amin. I felt Gi squeezed my leg under the table while we exchanged pleasantries. That made my night a bit bearable, knowing Ning and Gi got my back. 

Makakalaya din siguro ako sa pagmamahal ko sa kanya. Konting tiwala pa, Minjeong.

Karina got off of me and sat up. So I did the same ng makita ko siyang umiiyak. I got alarmed. Did I overshare? Dapat ba may filter yung sinabi ko sa kanya?

"I know you told me not to be sorry. But I am. I'm so sorry, baby," She pulled me in an embrace. "I can't imagine if it were me in your position. Baka hindi ko kayanin, Winter. I'm not as strong as you are so thank you. Thank you for being strong and for loving me unconditionally."

Hinila ko siya para sumandal sa headboard. The wall clock said it was time for breakfast.

"I'm just really really glad that you feel the same and that I'm not alone in this anymore. You don't know how long I've waited for this, Rina."

She caressed my face and leaned her forehead on mine.

I could live in this moment forever. 

"I love you" She said. Ramdam ko ang puso niya and how it sounded so pure.

"Again," I requested. Hindi ko mapigilang ngumiti. Ganito pala kiligin kay Karina. There was no way I could ever get out even if I wanted to. 

Not that it would ever happen. Ngayon pa. Ngayon pa na mahal na niya ako.

"I love you," She repeated, this time with a kiss on the tip of my nose.

"Again"

"I love you," 

"Again, Karina" 

She laughed at my antics, hindi kami sanay parehas sa asal ko ngayon. But I couldn't help it, she just naturally brings out this carefree side of me. 

She sat on my lap and I immediately held her waist. I had no choice but to look at her when she held my face, "Minjeong. I love you,"

She didn't let me reply.

Biglaan na lang siya nanghalik! 

Syempre sino ba naman ako para tumanggi ng breakfast in bed, right? Right??

I