Haseul nearly broke the cello then and there. She couldn’t get it right. The upwards scale was fine, it always was, she liked that part, that’s why she chose it, but what came after, the wandering—hiking—up the neck paired with spiccato. She would’ve throttled the composer if he was still alive.

She made a promise to spit on his grave if she ever made it to Europe.

She grit her teeth, put on the metronome, and lowered the speed. If she wasn’t getting it now at this speed then she’d lose it.

She started to play again. She’d committed the passage to memory and it played in her dreams (nightmares).

She grit her teeth, focusing on the slow incessant taps of the metronome.

The beginning melodies and then the series of upwards scales went so well. She should’ve skipped it but she needed the confidence boost.

Then came the bit. Third position, fifth, second, seventh, and—the note was too flat. It grated at her ears.

“Oh off!” Haseul kicked the music stand. It toppled over, her notes spilling out over the floor. It was carpeted so it didn’t really make the sound she’d wanted.

Haseul debated throwing the cello. That would make noise.

But it’d be a to repair if something happened and to get a new one would just make it all worse. If she needed new strings too, that would just mean time lost in retuning and she didn’t have that.

“ you.” Haseul set her cello down on the ground.

“You’re nice,” a voice sprang out from the door, “what did it ever do to you?” The face of her roommate appeared in the door. She was wearing those large thin framed glasses, loose pants and shirt. Haseul was glad it wasn’t a day she decided to wear a crop top like Haseul was right now.

“Give me hours of practicing.” Haseul flexed her fingers. “And maybe carpal tunnel.”

“I’m not sure if you can get that from—“ Vivi started.

“I’m in pain,” Haseul replied. “And it‘s possible. I googled it.”

Vivi rolled her eyes. There was something hot about it.

Haseul turned her attention back to the music. She’d have to pick it all up and sort it. She knew the pieces mostly by heart so she’d know, but tomorrow there’d be a new pieces for her other classes and this one, so she’d—

“Hey,” Vivi was closer now, “you’re taking a break right?” Her voice was a little softer too. “It’s Friday, you have the whole weekend to do this.”

Haseul just kept her eyes on the fallen music stand. Her hands were still hurting, but she wanted to move them. Preferably through someone’s hair instead of along strings.

“I’ve still got leftovers from yesterday.” Vivi pulled her out of her chair. It was a small win when Haseul caught her eyes lingering on the part just below her top.

“You mean extra soup?” Haseul let herself be pulled out of her room. She’d pack the cello up later. Or keep practicing.

“Lasagne.”

“You cook Italian food?”

“I cook a lot of food.” Vivi winked. “But you’ve never tried.”

“Because I’m a good roommate,” Haseul retorted. She sat on the counter while Vivi opened a container that did indeed have lasagne in it.

“So that’s why it smelled so good last night,” Haseul muttered. “Did you have people over?” A part of her wondered if she really wanted to know that.

“Jinsoul and Lip were here,” Vivi said. “Brought cake and we finished up the lab report.” She put the rest into the microwave.

“Cake and lasagne,” Haseul frowned, “why cake for a lab report? And why’re you doing a lab report?”

“They wanted me to read over it unbiased, Jungeun needed the excuse for cake, Jinsoul wanted to make her happy, and the new store next to them was selling cheesecake.”

“And you saved nothing for me?”

“You told me not bring anything sweet into the kitchen,” Vivi shrugged, “so those two took the rest.” She turned around and came to her side. “After your exam, I’ll buy one.” She looked serious.

Haseul held her gaze. “Not cheesecake though,” she said. “Need chocolate, or brownies.”

“How about both?” Vivi was closer now.

“That’s a little expensive isn’t it?” Haseul asked. She lightly prodded Vivi’s cheek, but she didn’t move away.

“Not if we split it.” Vivi put her chin on her shoulder, large brown eyes just short of pleading.

“And I spend money after weeks of pain, tears and blood?” She put a hand on her cheek and pushed her back. “No thank you.”

“You said it wrong,” Vivi gave her a look, “and I’d pay for some of the cake.”

“You can pay for one,” Haseul smiled back at her, “brownies.”

Vivi looked like she was going to do something. Haseul just held her gaze, wondering if she should tell her to just go for it. Either that or she’d pull her in herself.

And then the microwave beeped.

Haseul sighed, running a hand through her hair.

The machine was still beeping.

She looked up to see Vivi turning away. 

Haseul fought a smile. She hopped off the counter and went over to her. “Smells good.” She hummed, resting her chin on Vivi’s shoulder like she just had.

Vivi glanced at her, lifting a brow. “I thought you didn’t want Italian.”

She tapped her head against hers. “I was surprised you cooked Italian food. Never said I didn’t want it.” She put her hands on either side of her waist.

Vivi tensed then.

I win, Haseul thought. She pressed a chaste kiss to her neck.

“You’re horrible.” Vivi started splitting the lasagne onto two plates.

“I know.” She opened a drawer and took out the cutlery. She went back to the table.

Vivi came soon after with the plates.

They ate, talking about Vivi’s new project. She was designing more, but needing a new colour palate. Haseul refrained from suggesting any, because they’d already figured out in the first weeks that she didn’t know what colours worked. Unless it was her own clothes.

“So,” Vivi started, “you’re not going to go that practice room again tonight, right?”

Haseul lifted a brow. “Didn’t you hear me practicing?”

“Sounded great to me,” she replied. “Until you told it to off.”

She blushed. “Still don’t get why you don’t just listen to your own music when I practice.”

Vivi waved a fork at her. “Don’t start that again. I don’t even notice most of the mistakes until I hear you raging.”

Haseul just shook her head.

“I like when you play,” Vivi was looking at the food now, “the repetitions aren’t even annoying.”

“You’re lucky I didn’t have to take up the saxophone for uni,” Haseul replied. She shook her head. She was lucky she’d been in the orchestra or else she’d have needed to do guitar and something else for her degree. She wouldn’t have minded, but the strings of the cello she was used to and was mostly smooth. Being in the orchestra was good for her too. Duets, trios and quartets too. “You would’ve moved out after a week.”

Vivi shrugged. “I would’ve kicked you out every time you’d practice to go to a practice room. With the cello you can stay around.” She tapped her fork to her plate. “Still hungry?”

Haseul shook her head.

Vivi got up and took the plates. Haseul pulled them out of her hands.

“I’m washing.” She brushed past her to the sink. She started scrubbing.

“Do you have to practice tonight?” Vivi was leaning against the counter beside her, arms crossed, with a washcloth in her left hand. “Or can you stay in and,” she trailed off.

Haseul handed her a clean plate. “And?” She could already feel her face getting warmer. Luckily, Vivi’s was the same.

“Watch something?” Vivi coughed. “Read?”

“Read,” she repeated. She passed her the second plate, before reaching past her and for the container. When she looked back up Vivi was blushing a deep red. “You’re behind for class?”

“I mean,” Vivi started drying, “I guess? Still have half of a behemoth leftover, but the poems I went through.”

Haseul smiled. “Then you can read,” she said, “and I can go through the designs of the week.”

Vivi just nodded and seemed to become very interested in wiping away the droplets of water beside the sink.

Haseul remembered first asking if she could see Vivi’s designs. She’d been torn between saying no outright and passing her the sketchbook. She’d told her that since Vivi was hearing most of her progress at home with guitar, cello, and singing, it was only fair that she’d be able to see a little from Vivi. She’d shown her one then.

And now she could look through her entire portfolio if she wanted to.

Well, that and then some.

“Popcorn?” Haseul asked. She couldn’t help but smile more.

Vivi just shook her head. “Tea?”

She nodded, getting two large mugs and then the tea bags.

“You really don’t have to practice?” Vivi asked, turning on the kettle.

“Do you want me to practice or not?” Haseul grinned. “That’s the third time you asked me.”

“I know you would probably,” she shrugged, “but your hands’re hurting and a break’s good.”

Haseul hummed once and went over to her. She set down the mugs and opened both tea bags and put them in. “You know we’re alone here, right?”

Vivi looked at her, bewildered. “Obviously?”

Haseul waited for the kettle’s boiling to die down. Then she poured the water into their two cups and set the timer on her phone.

“You can be a little more obvious.” Haseul slipped her arms around Vivi’s waist again. “If you want me to stay here, just say it.”

Vivi was looking at her, eyes almost wide.

Haseul just looked back. She didn’t go for much more than what she was doing now. They had a lot of time. She also did need that break and it was a Friday. Neither of them were going out either. Not this week at least. She liked that about Vivi. She didn’t have to go out, but she had fun whenever she did.

She almost leaned in then and there. Vivi’s newly dyed black hair was as far as she could get from the light pink she’d had when they met, or the orange that came later, but it suited her so well. Haseul might’ve been a little too much of a fan of it.

“It’s been a while since we had a night just here,” Vivi said. “Don’t go practice tonight?”

“Better.” Haseul squeezed her waist. “And I’m staying in.”

The alarm of her phone went off and she pulled out the tea bags. Still standing a little too close to Vivi than should’ve been the distance for friends, let alone roommates.

Vivi reached over and turned it off. She wasn’t leaning away when she came back.

“Tea time!” Haseul pulled away and grabbed the pink cup, leaving the green one for Vivi. “Movie or your book thing?” She put down her cup before flopping down onto the couch (dark grey and from a flatpack that nearly broke her back).

“Feel like you’re forgetting reading is something a lot of people do,” Vivi grumbled, putting down her own cup. “If notes counted as words we’d be even.” She disappeared into her room then, coming out a few seconds later holding a book and her pen bag. It was filled with highlighters and post-its for all her annotations. Haseul once flicked through a book just to see, was almost overwhelmed by the colours, before she shut it again.

Under Vivi’s arm was another book, a bigger one.

“But they aren’t,” Haseul held out her hands, grabbing for the sketchbook, “at least you draw too.”

“Do you have something against literature?”

“Nope.” She opened to the latest page. A long dark blue dress. “I’d wear this one.”

“This isn’t for you to make a commentary,” Vivi swung her legs over Haseul’s, “just look and be quiet.” She propped her book on her stomach.

“Shakespeare’s histories?” Haseul stared at it. “You’re not serious.”

“The professor is,” Vivi replied. “And they’re fun.”

Haseul bit back her comments. She’d already had a lot of fun a few weeks ago when she read some poems aloud and Vivi told her what it all meant. She liked reading, of course she did, but she didn’t like the analytical part to it. Not like Vivi did. Who else would take literature as an extra course ‘for fun’ and take it seriously?

She looked through the pages, looking again at older ones. Vivi’s professor for the course wanted them on paper and not on tablet, which almost completely negated the other courses taken on design. It was idiotic, but Haseul liked seeing this part of it on paper. She didn’t really know why.

She looked up at Vivi just to see her annotating something. Her glasses had slid down some more. It should’ve been unfair that she looked that good.

Haseul just found herself smiling again.

Vivi caught her looking. “Already done?”

“Depends how far you are.”

“Barely made a dent.” Vivi showed her that she was still in the half-way mark.

“But you never read much at night.” Haseul patted her leg, lightly tickling her foot.

“I guess.” Vivi gently kicked her in the side. She went back to reading.

With just some quiet music playing that Haseul didn’t remember Vivi putting on, it was quiet. Even outside the apartment it wasn’t that loud. She was between just taking a nap to enjoy it and being bored.

Haseul leaned forward and put the sketchbook on the table. She took one sip of tea, then another.

She looked over at her again just to see Vivi looking back.

it, Haseul thought. She pushed Vivi’s legs off her before crawling over to her.

Lucky for her (both of them), Vivi dropped the book on the floor and let her settle down on her lap.

Haseul lifted a hand and ran it through Vivi’s hair. With her other one she carefully pulled her glasses off and set it on the little coffee table beside the couch next to her tea. “Did you even drink any of that?” She took off her own and put them by Vivi’s.

Vivi reached over and took a sip, eyes never leaving Haseul’s. When she put the cup back down, her hands came to rest on either side of her waist. Haseul wondered if her top was a good idea. She was torn between yes and no. It depended on how tonight went.

“What did you think?” Vivi asked, nodding at the discarded sketchbook.

“Still love that blue one.” Haseul let her other hand cup Vivi’s face, fingers tracing along her jaw. “But all three look great. I think he’ll be happy.”

“How’re your hands.” Vivi took the one on her face and gently massaged along the back. Surprisingly, it was one of the most intimate gestures she’d done yet.

Haseul wasn’t sure what to think about that so she ignored it.

“Better,” she said. “I might’ve overreacted.”

Vivi chuckled and let go of her hand.

“Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do that more often,” Haseul winked, “I’d return the favour.”

“I don’t need it,” Vivi replied.

“Didn’t really mean that kind of favour.” She leaned forward, pressing her forehead to Vivi’s. It was also an intimate gesture, but she wanted to move this along. Even if she did like just talking to her. They could do that any other time.

Vivi’s lips parted a fraction as she nodded. Her eyes flicked around her face. “I like the sound of that.” She smiled slightly.

Haseul put both her hands on Vivi’s shoulders, squeezing lightly. “Kiss me first.”

“Already?” Vivi’s hands slid a bit higher.

“You asked me to stay.”

“We live together,” Vivi whispered. “That’s not exactly a special request.”

“Shut up.” Haseul just barely brushed their lips together. She loved when Vivi moved forward a fraction in response. “I’ve barely been here all week.” She got a bit more comfortable on her lap. “I think you missed me.” She let one hand drift to her waist, but stayed on the soft fabric of her shirt.

Vivi looked up from her lips. Her eyes were already dark, but there was a small challenge there too. “You’re the one who couldn’t keep her hands to herself for an hour.”

“Because you said we should read,” Haseul sighed, “I would’ve lasted a movie just fine.” She slipped her hand under her shirt now, running her thumb over the side of her abdomen. She’d been surprised at first at how toned Vivi was, but now that was a part of the person Vivi was that just made sense. And she liked it. “You know that.”

Vivi was staring at again. “I guess.”

Haseul moved her hand up again. No bra. “You guess.” She moved her hand back to her waist.

Her breathing had hitched at the first touch. “Yes.”

Haseul shifted her weight some more, feeling a small rush of heat.

Vivi was tensed under her.

“Kiss me.” Haseul let her lips graze hers.

Vivi leaned forward then, pulling Haseul closer in the same moment.

Finally, she thought, pulling her hand from under Vivi’s shirt and burying both into her hair.

She couldn’t get enough from how Vivi kissed her, slowly, but always pushing against her in one way or another. Usually it was making sure that Haseul wanted to kiss her senseless, which worked in both their favours.

Haseul pressed her against the couch, pulling her head back gently by her hair. She parted her lips with her tongue.

Vivi returned that with just as much fervour. Her hands roamed under her shirt.

“Sports bra?” she muttered against her lips. “Really?”

“Thought you’d like it.” Haseul laughed slightly. “Don’t you?”

Vivi just brought her hands back down to her waist and pulled her forward even more.

Haseul let out a small noise at that. When Vivi smiled, almost triumphant, she bit her lip.

She kissed along her jaw, tugging on her hair some more. She liked listening to Vivi’s breathing, alternating between deep breaths to contain herself again and the shorter ones. She loved it when she stopped for a second or there was a hint of a moan.

She got that from her when she lightly nibbled on her neck just under her jaw.

“Having lunch with anyone tomorrow?”

“You.” Vivi’s voice sounded normal. Close to it at least.

Haseul ignored how much she liked that thought and started on the spot. She didn’t get to do this that often. Especially on week days. This was Vivi’s favourite spot and it was just so visible.

She rolled her hips ever so slightly.

Vivi groaned then. “Haseul,” she started, her hands pulling on her again even though she could barely get any closer.

“Yeah?” Haseul pulled away and bit back a smile at what she saw.

Vivi’s hair was dishevelled, lips a little bruised, and her face flushed.

Haseul kissed her again. She’d missed this too. There wasn’t really a regularity to it. They could go weeks without really touching each other, but sometimes there was a week where Haseul or Vivi would come back and just drag the other over to the couch, the wall, or the bed.

Several people would tell her this wasn’t what roommates did and even her own head told her that, but it didn’t matter. They did this. Haseul kissed her. Vivi held her. And more.

She shifted only to put a leg between Vivi’s.

“,” Vivi breathed out.

“Language?” Haseul murmured against her lips.

“You were saying a lot more to that cello,” she replied. “You wanted to smash it.”

“And you.” Haseul rolled her hips, holding back a moan. “Just in different ways. What’s that called? Not a synonym.”

“A homonym.” Vivi moved to kiss Haseul’s neck this time. “And I thought you hated reading.”

“Shut up,” Haseul let out a sharp moan when Vivi bit down on her shoulder, “do that again.”

There was a ringing sound then.

“Ignore it.” Vivi kissed her again.

It kept going. Then the sounds of messages, one after the other. Another call.

“Might be an emergency,” Haseul pulled away, wishing she didn’t have to, “go answer it.”

Vivi looked like she would rather pull her back into the kiss and just continue from there. Haseul wanted her to, but if someone was in trouble—

Haseul just got off of her and picked up her tea again. Nevermind that she was just short of being hopelessly .

“Hello?” Vivi sounded breathless.

Haseul nearly laughed, but kept it down.

“You’ve got to be kidding,” Vivi sighed, “now?”

Haseul stood. Probably another semi disaster that needed her. Or someone who needed a proof-reading. Either that or it was something for the upcoming show.

“And it can’t be tomorrow?” Vivi was looking her way. “The show’s in a few weeks.”

Haseul just shook her head. “It’s okay,” she mouthed.

Vivi pursed her lips. “Okay,” she closed her eyes, “I’ll come over.” She hung up.

“Emergency?” Haseul asked, wondering if Vivi would have a problem going somewhere with swollen lips and the start of a red mark on her neck.

“They changed the venue for the show,” Vivi muttered. “Now they want me to go help clean the other one. That’s been used for storage.”

“Sounds like a pretty high demand even for an intern,” Haseul said.

“They told me there’s coupons in it for me.”

Haseul laughed. “For that?”

Vivi walked over and reached for her sides. “It’s manual labour.”

She danced out of the way before she could tickle her. “If it’s for coupons, want me to come along?”

Vivi looked like she was considering it. Then she sighed. “They wouldn’t trust you,” she rolled her eyes, “risk of seeing the designs or whatever.” She smiled slightly. “But thanks for offering. She leaned forward then, kissing her once, before going to her room.

Haseul stared at the door as it slowly shut. Not really, because Vivi didn’t shut her door as often now.

Had that been a thank you kiss? Did they do that now?

She was still looking at the door when Vivi reemerged, her hair in a ponytail and clothes a step above her home clothes, but still comfortable. Still stunning too.

“Should I bring something back for dinner?”

Haseul shook her head. “We’ve still got a few things in the fridge to figure out.” Then she added. “And I’ll go shopping.”

She sent her a look. “Make it an extensive break this time. No classical music in your ears on the way.”

Haseul rolled her eyes and went to the kitchen. Her tea was cold.

“I mean it!” Vivi was putting on her jacket. “Put on a pop. Hell, put on a K-pop one. Not a ballad.”

Haseul saluted. “Now go,” she winked, “so you can get back faster.”

The smile on her face was almost a mystery to properly discern, but Haseul had seen it before. Her cheeks flushed.

Then Vivi was calling out a “see you” before the door closed behind her.

The first thing Haseul did was go take a shower.

_____

The first time it happened was a month after they’d moved in together. Haseul had had two concerts at the end of the semester, finished her exams, while Vivi had been scrambling to balance her job and write each of her essays and study for the exams.

They’d gone out to celebrate with the rest, taking shot after shot, nursing their drinks on the way, until they were all laughing. No blackouts, but no inhibitions either.

Haseul still remembered how surprised she’d been when they’d gotten home and Vivi had pulled her in for a long kiss, before pushing her down onto the couch. She hadn’t minded at all either. She’d made them move to a bed too.

It’d been awkward the day after, but Haseul couldn’t say she’d regretted it at all. She hadn’t gone into the whole situation with the idea of never hooking up at all. She’d been more conscious of if she’d bring anyone back and what Vivi would think of that one.

And she’d not even planned on having a big relationship with her roommate either.

At least until that night.

Hadn’t been like she’d never thought about it before that. Vivi was more than attractive. She was nice, smart, fit, and extremely considerate too.

And then it had happened again. Two months later. No alcohol this time, just something in the silence between them with a movie in the background. They hadn’t made it to the bed that time.

Haseul had wondered that time about what it would mean for them. Once had been something they could brush over, especially with the alcohol. Twice was tricky. The morning after had had no headache. Just Vivi getting up earlier than she did, eating breakfast by the time Haseul got up.

That’d been awkward too.

But then they’d stayed at that place. Usually the week was normal, but then a Friday would come and