Heechul drags his feet to the door, expecting it to be some delivery he didn’t recall ordering. It’s nothing new—he always did have a habit of drinking to forget. It just so happens there’s this persistent voice in the back of his head begging him to take care of himself and he somehow ends up mindlessly scrolling through menus on his phone before clicking on whatever seemed to go well with his chosen alcohol of the day.

Surprisingly, the man behind the door is not a deliveryman.

“Hi, Heechul.” Leeteuk smiles hesitantly at him. “Can I go in?”

Heechul stays silent and just blinks at him for a full minute, but Leeteuk didn’t say anything about it. He only walked in after Heechul finally managed to gather his thoughts and accept that this man is currently standing in front of him.

Leeteuk has been to his place often enough to be familiar with his rules. He puts on a pair of slippers that Heechul had set aside for guests and takes care to neatly put his own shoes to the side before walking in, leaving Heechul to do nothing but follow him until they reach the dining table.

It still feels unreal to have Leeteuk in his apartment all of a sudden, so when Leeteuk turns from the dining table to the kitchen, Heechul moves to the other side of the table and uses the few seconds to stare at him. The other man does nothing but look around the kitchen, spotting the unused cooking utensils, then turning back.

“I just wanted to see how you were.” Leeteuk asked quietly with a small smile. Heechul sees the other’s eyes darting to the mess of green bottles in the living room, a mix of full and empty ones he had collected over the past few days. Weeks? Has it been months? He’s not sure. “So, how are you?”

Those eyes go back to him again and Heechul is forced to answer, his voice slightly hoarse from lack of use. “Why?”

“Like I said, I just wanted to see if you were doing oka—”

“I meant—” Heechul interrupts him, pausing to think of how to best phrase his question. “Why you? Why are you checking in on me?”

Leeteuk looks at him, his eyes searching his face as if he’ll find the answer there. “Because I was worried.”

“Hmm.” Heechul would laugh if there's any energy in him, but unfortunately, he feels as empty as most of the bottles lying around on the floor. “Why?”

“I heard you haven’t gone to the pilates thing in a while. I mean, sure you had a bit of fun, so at first, I just thought you just got tired of all the exercising. But I heard you don’t even go to the restaurant around the corner anymore, and you used to go there so many times. I went there the other day and the owner asked me about you.” Leeteuk sighs as he gestures to the kitchen. “You don’t even seem to cook anymore. And Donghae told me he asked you to go drink with him but you said no. You never say no to him, but now you did and chose to drink alone instead? It’s not—”

“What’s your point?” Heechul runs a hand down his face, feeling frustration and tears building up.

There’s a pause. “You don’t do you things anymore.” At Heechul’s blank stare, he elaborates. “All those things were things you had fun doing! You did them and you looked happy and alive. I mean, sure, you’re not the best at cooking, but you’ve been practicing and getting better, I thought you were enjoying it. You don’t do you things anymore.” He repeats, emphasizing his words as if it would get through Heechul’s head better.

Heechul feels his lips about to tremble so he grits his teeth and takes a deep breath. “Me things?” He tries to say it with a straight face, but he couldn’t hold back the scoff that came out. “Me things?” Heechul asks Leeteuk again, hoping he heard it wrong, but the other just looks at him with worry in his eyes.

“Teukie,” he breathes out his name, and he feels his eyes tear up, so he closes them. “Those weren’t me things. Those were us things. Things that we did together.” The silence in the room is unbearable and Heechul opens his eyes to see Leeteuk failing to look back at him now.