final
My Only Wish (This Year)“So, we should get our story straight. One more time. Just in case.”
Joohyun sighs for the nth time, looking over her shoulder as she smoothly changes lanes, and then glances briefly towards Seulgi who’s biting nervously at her lip as she scrolls through the notes app on her phone.
“We really don’t need a story, Seulgi,” Joohyun says calmly. “We’ve been best friends for years. Your parents have been waiting for us to get into a relationship for as long as I’ve known you. It won’t take much to convince them.”
Seulgi frowns. “But still! It’s good to be prepared. So, how did we meet?”
Joohyun shoots her a dry look. “They know how we met, Seulgi.”
“Right.” Seulgi chuckles, somehow both awkward and charming at the same time. “I meant to ask, how did we get together?”
Joohyun swallows, glancing in the rearview mirror just to have something to do that didn’t involve thinking about Seulgi’s outlandish plan for the holidays.
“Do we seriously have to do this now?” Joohyun asks again. She gestures towards the road in front of them. “I’m kind of doing something here, and I’d like to not kill us when the roads are still icy.”
“Oh! Right, of course. I’m sorry, Unnie. Please focus on driving! Safety first!”
Joohyun bites back a smile at how easily her plan worked. If there’s anything Seulgi will do, it’s prioritize safe driving practices. The poor thing had her license long before Joohyun even did, but had yet to be behind the wheel for longer than a few minutes. Despite Joohyun generally being the anxious mess between the two of them when it came to most ‘risky’ activities, there was something about driving that froze Seulgi up entirely. Not that Joohyun minded much. Since getting over her fear, Joohyun’s been enjoying the freedom that came with having her own car, and since they lived together, it really wasn’t that hard for her to bring Seulgi around as needed.
She even almost liked being Seulgi’s personal chauffeur, though she’d, of course, never admit that out loud.
“Are you excited?” Joohyun asks eventually, once they’ve pulled onto a more secluded countryside road that would take them to the house Seulgi’s family used to stay in before they moved to an apartment closer to the city.
“Yes,” Seulgi answers resolutely. And then, “Nervous too. I’ve never brought anyone home before.”
Joohyun rolls her eyes fondly. “I come home with you for practically every major holiday during the year.”
Seulgi swats at her arm. “You know what I mean! I’ve never brought home someone I was dating.”
“Then it’s a good thing we’re not actually dating.” Joohyun chuckles dryly.
“But they won’t know that!”
Right, Joohyun remembers, they won’t know that.
“Of course,” Joohyun mumbles. Then adds, unnecessarily, “This road is kind of dark; I’m going to focus.”
Next to her Seulgi hums, turning up the music playing to fill in the sudden silence. Joohyun’s grateful for the distraction, mindlessly muttering along to the Christmas song playing—anything to get her mind off the thought of her and Seulgi in a relationship together, and the fact that, more than anything, Joohyun wouldn’t mind if it was actually for more than just the holidays.
They’ve only just stepped through the door, toeing off their shoes and sliding into house slippers laid out for guests, when Joohyun hears the patter of footsteps running through the hallway.
“Unnie!”
She only has a brief second to brace herself before a tiny body barrels into her. Instinctively, Joohyun holds onto it, smiling at the face nuzzling into her stomach.
“Sunghee! You’ve gotten so big!” Joohyun coos. She hears another “noona!” before feeling a second similar weight slam into her side, and she grunts, a little sore but not at all mad. “Junho, you too! You’re so grown up!”
The little boy beams up at her, two of his front teeth missing, and Joohyun can’t help but reach down and pinch at his cheeks.
“Hey, what about me? Don’t I get a hug?” Seulgi complains next to her, though she doesn’t look at all disgruntled when Joohyun glances towards her, just a gentle smile on her face as she gazes at the three of them entangled.
Immediately, they rush towards Seulgi, who showers them with similar praises as she fusses over their appearances. Joohyun smiles at the sight, something heavy settling in her chest.
“What’s up, dweeb.”
Seulgi’s expression turns immediately, frowning as her brother nudges past her. The kids at her feet giggle mischievously before running back further into the house, leaving just the three adults still in the entranceway.
“I’m not a dweeb! You….you…punk!”
Joohyun snorts at the lame attempt at a comeback, and Youngjae must feel similarly, snorting without sparing Seulgi a glance. He stops briefly in front of Joohyun, eyeing her up and down.
“I’m going to beat you this year.”
Joohyun raises a pointed brow. “I’d like to see you try.”
His eyes narrow at her. “I’ve been practicing. I will take back my rightful spot in first place.”
“You seriously practiced? What are you, five?”
He breathes in deeply through his nose. “It’s not just a game! This is—”
“Hey,” Seulgi steps in, nonchalantly sliding an arm around Joohyun's waist, and Joohyun pauses, having forgotten this year was supposed to be different. “Play nice, Oppa. That’s my girlfriend you’re talking to.”
She says it so proudly, even standing a little bit taller at the words, and Joohyun’s torn between wanting to hide her face in her hands out of embarrassment or wanting to hide her face in her hands to cover the blush she can feel blooming on her cheeks.
To her surprise, though, Youngjae doesn’t seem shocked in the slightest, simply scoffing at them both.
“Yeah, right,” he mocks. “That ship sailed a long time. Joohyun would never go for you.”
“Hey!” Seulgi squeaks, her false bravado wavering. “T-That’s not true! I’m a catch!”
“Uh huh.”
“I’m serious!”
“Sure.”
Pouting, Seulgi turns to Joohyun who’s been watching the exchange in amusement.
“Unnie, tell him we’re dating.”
“Oh, yeah. Right. We’re dating,” Joohyun says monotonously which makes Seulgi huff in indignation, pushing gently at Joohyun’s side.
“Sound more believable!”
“He doesn’t believe us anyway.”
“Because you’re not enthusiastic!”
“Cool, now that that’s settled,” Youngjae interrupts, focusing back on Joohyun. He points towards her then himself, “You. Me. Rematch. I’m going to win.”
Joohyun shrugs. “Sure you are.”
He exhales deeply, squinting at Joohyun, annoyed.
“I hate you,” he mutters before stomping off down the hallway.
Joohyun shakes her head.
“I think that went well,” she decides, turning back towards Seulgi.
Seulgi still has her hand on Joohyun’s waist, and she makes no effort to remove it. Joohyun doesn’t want to admit it, but she may be a little stuck on the slight way Seulgi is rubbing her thumb back and forth across the material of her sweater, pouting at the retreating back of her brother and seemingly not at all aware of what her own hand is doing. Joohyun says nothing about it, too afraid that if she were to speak now, her voice might come out alarmingly breathless.
“He didn’t believe us,” Seulgi mutters distractedly.
“I know,” Joohyun soothes.
“But I said it with so much confidence.”
“You did.”
“Was I believable?”
“I’d say so. The arm around me was a nice touch.”
“I even practiced in front of the mirror!”
Joohyun snorts. “That…doesn’t surprise me.”
“He didn’t believe us,” Seulgi repeats dejectedly.
Placatingly, Joohyun takes Seulgi’s hand in her own, carefully guiding her towards where she can hear the sounds of the rest of the family gathered.
“Come on,” she says, squeezing Seulgi’s hand gently. Her palms are sweaty in Joohyun’s own, but she doesn’t mind. “Maybe we can try convincing the others.”
Behind her, Seulgi mumbles distractedly again, “He really didn’t believe us.”
Joohyun laughs, feeling lighter at this strange turn of events, Seulgi’s hand a comforting weight against hers.
Maybe this won’t be so bad after all.
“Mom,” Seulgi calls cheerfully, having already gotten over her minor setback by the time they make it to the kitchen towards the back of the house. Joohyun’s trailing behind her now, freely letting herself get dragged as she makes unsuccessful attempts to bow at all of Seulgi’s relatives that they pass.
“Oh, princess, you’re here!” Seulgi’s mom beams, stepping away from the bowl she’d been mixing to wrap Seulgi into a hug. “I’m glad you made it! The roads were starting to get so icy.”
“Yeah, but Unnie is a great driver so it was fine,” Seulgi says, glancing back at Joohyun with a glint in her eye that Joohyun’s starting to recognize as ‘dangerous.’ “Actually, speaking of Unnie. Mom I wanted to tell you—”
“Joohyun!”
In seconds, Joohyun’s being gathered into warm arms, and she sinks into them instinctively, having missed the comforting touch of a mother.
“Oh, look at you,” the older woman says, tutting when she pulls away to cup Joohyun’s cheeks. “You’re too thin. You’re not eating enough.”
“I eat plenty,” Joohyun tries, but the doting mother hears none of it, frowning as she checks Joohyun up and down.
“This won’t do. At this rate, you’re going to disappear! I’ll send you both home with some food. You need to eat.”
“Okay,” Joohyun agrees because she knows better by now than to try and disagree with Seulgi’s mom. She has all of Seulgi’s stubbornness but none of the other girl’s laziness, which means if she says she’s going to do something, she’ll do it regardless of how anyone else might feel about it.
Joohyun doesn’t mind anyway. She loves home cooked food and after being estranged from her own family for so long, she can never get enough of it.
“Mom,” Seulgi attempts again as her mom goes back to her mixing bowl. She slides next to Joohyun, cheekily putting her arm around Joohyun’s shoulder. Joohyun almost rolls her eyes this time, but smartly holds back. “I have something to tell you.”
“Okay,” her mom answers distractedly.
Joohyun can hear the pout in Seulgi’s voice as she whines, “Mom, it’s important.”
“What, princess?” Her mom finally turns back to her, raising an unamused brow.
Joohyun resists the urge to stand up straighter at the sight, letting herself be pulled closer into Seulgi’s side. Seulgi’s always run unnaturally warm, and Joohyun revels in it, sinking into the heat of Seulgi’s body pressed against hers. If the older woman in front of them notices, she says nothing about it.
“Mom,” Seulgi begins with a dramatically deep breath, “I wanted to tell you that Joohyun and I are dating. She’s my girlfriend.”
Joohyun’s heart speeds up at the words, cheeks beginning to feel hot again. It’s silent in the kitchen, the noise of the party going on in the other room drowned out by the awkward tension Seulgi’s managed to fill them all with. Joohyun worries briefly, then, if Seulgi’s mom might disapprove. If this is going to be a rehash of that time all those years ago, when Joohyun stood in a spot very similar to this in front of her own parents and had to watch them turn her away.
She can’t help but worry if she’s about to lose the only other family she’s known, and suddenly, for reasons that don’t have to do with hidden unrequited feelings, Seulgi’s plan has never felt more terrible.
But then, the older woman cracks a smile, and Joohyun’s mood begins to lift, desperate for approval she didn’t even know she wanted.
However, it’s not approval that they get.
Instead, Seulgi’s mother looks between the two of them with a grin as mischievous as the one Seulgi gets sometimes right before she’s about to do something she knows is going to annoy Joohyun, pauses pointedly at Seulgi’s arm around Joohyun’s shoulder, blinks, and laughs.
“Why does no one believe us?” Seulgi groans as she shuts the door to her childhood bedroom with a little more force than necessary. Immediately, she winces and utters an apology, never one to have such open displays of negative emotion.
Joohyun snorts. “Maybe because we really don’t seem like a couple?”
It’s said with possibly more bite than Joohyun intended, and she almost rolls her eyes at herself. Amused as she is at Seulgi’s quickly sinking plan, she can’t help but feel a little slighted too that the idea of the two of them together seems so far-fetched it’s laughable. Her mom even called in Seulgi’s dad just to laugh about it with him, and that maybe, might have, possibly stung Joohyun’s pride too.
“Dating? You and Joohyun?” he’d said, chuckling deep from his belly. “Princess, that’s hilarious. How long did it take you to come up with that one?”
And Seulgi had whined and complained while Joohyun could do little more than bury her face in her hands until, upset, Seulgi had pulled them out of the kitchen and towards her room.
“Why not?” Seulgi pouts. “I mean, look at us. We look great!”
She turns the two of them towards the vanity mirror so that Joohyun can see the way Seulgi’s marginally taller frame looks next to her own. They are both certainly attractive people, and Joohyun can admit to staring at pictures of them next to each other once or twice or ten times and thinking they would make a good couple, but Seulgi certainly doesn’t need to know that. So instead, Joohyun just scoffs, turning back towards her bag on the bed so she can change out of her shirt and into a comfier sweater.
“Right, we look great,” Joohyun mutters nonchalantly, digging through her bag.
“Hey, no. Why are you changing? We’re supposed to match!”
“This shirt is itchy.”
“But it matches mine! You can’t change, Unnie,” Seulgi insists. “If you change now, then we really won’t look like a couple.”
“We already don’t look like a couple according to your family.”
“My family has no sense,” Seulgi says and grabs at the sweater Joohyun’s just pulled out, holding it behind her back decidedly. “Unnie, no changing.”
Joohyun shakes her head. “Kang Seulgi, what are you doing?”
“You can’t change.”
Joohyun arches a brow. “I can and I will. Now, give me that back.”
“No.”
Seulgi has a smug grin on her face as she holds the sweater above her head, stepping back as Joohyun steps towards her with narrowed eyes.
“Seulgi, I’m serious.”
“So am I.”
Seulgi surely expected a lot of things, but she probably didn’t anticipate Joohyun launching herself at her so that they both fall on the bed. She goes down easily with a little oof before Joohyun’s on her, fingers tickling the younger girl as she squirms underneath her with a chorus of laughter, still clutching onto Joohyun’s sweater with a death grip despite the happy assault to her sides.
“Give it back, Kang Seulgi!”
“No!”
Joohyun continues her attack, ignoring the fact that she could easily grab the sweater from Seulgi from her vantage point by now if she wanted to. It’s almost a little too enjoyable having Seulgi trapped underneath her like this, completely at Joohyun’s mercy, with her cheeks red from laughter and her eyes shining as she gazes up at Joohyun with her hair splayed across the mattress and her chest heaving. It has Joohyun pausing for a second, realizing what this image closely resembles and she swallows thickly, even as Seulgi tilts her head curiously.
“Unnie?”
“I—”
“Huh, what do you know? Maybe you two really are dating.”
Joohyun scrambles off Seulgi immediately, putting some much needed space between them at the new voice.
“I told you!” Seulgi grins triumphantly, sitting up to stare at her brother in the doorway.
“Yeah, whatever. I still don’t believe it.” He rolls his eyes.
Seulgi squawks indignantly, “Why not?! You literally just said—”
“Dinner is ready,” he cuts her off with a wave of his hand. He looks at Joohyun boredly, resembling a lazy dog. “Come now before I eat everything.”
“Hey, you can’t! Your weight is perfectly fine! You don’t need more food because you look good! Unless you’re trying to gain more weight? Then you can have some more too if you want, I don’t mind!”
He leaves before Seulgi’s even finished her spiel, and Joohyun glances at her in amusement.
“Was that supposed to be an insult?”
“Yes?”
Joohyun laughs fondly, pulling Seulgi up off the bed and towards the door. “You’re cute.”
“What was that? I couldn’t hear.”
“Nothing.” Joohyun smiles, leading Seulgi back down the hall towards the dining room, matching shirts and all. “Let’s just go eat.”
Having any meal with Seulgi’s family is always a raucous affair. They are a family that likes to eat, but more importantly, they are a family that actually enjoys talking and sharing about their day. This is naturally increased tenfold whenever extended family is also involved.
It’s a stark contrast to the quiet family meals Joohyun grew up with, but after a few years of learning to carefully navigate invasive questions about her personal life and career path, Joohyun’s grown to find enjoyment in all the noise around her.
“Stop giving me your vegetables,” Joohyun scolds when she catches Seulgi trying to sneakily place her carrots onto Joohyun’s plate.
“Fine,” Seulgi says, then reaches over to Joohyun’s other side to put them onto Sunghee’s plate instead while the young girl is distracted in a mini food fight with Junho.
“Seulgi.” Joohyun laughs, grabbing the carrots and putting them back onto Seulgi’s plate. “Stop being such a kid. Eat your vegetables.”
“Only if you feed them to me.”
Joohyun flushes immediately, glancing around the table to see if anyone else has noticed the daring grin on Seulgi’s face and the way she’s leaned forward suggestively. “What are you saying?”
“Come on, girlfriend. Just one carrot, please.”
Joohyun narrows her eyes, not one to be outdone, and takes the biggest carrot she can find and shoves it into Seulgi’s mouth.
“Hah!”
Seulgi sputters, frowning even as she struggles to chew. Joohyun laughs at the expression, taking back the rest of the carrots off Seulgi’s plate anyway.
“You guys are cute.”
The remark comes from Seulgi’s cousin, Yerim, seated across from them. The teenager has her cheeks in her hands, looking between Joohyun and Seulgi curiously.
“You’re really dating?” she asks.
“Yes,” Seulgi says at the same time Joohyun answers, “No.”
Seulgi nudges her shoulder, hissing, “Stop that.” She turns back to Yerim, smiling widely. “We’re dating.”
“That’s not what your supposed girlfriend just said.”
Seulgi shakes her head. “Ignore her. She’s shy.”
Joohyun sighs, giving up on fighting Seulgi, and turns back to her food. Before her, she hears Yerim snort out a laugh.
“Somehow, I don’t believe you.”
“Why doesn’t anyone believe me?” Seulgi groans.
“I believe you, Unnie,” Sunghee chirps between a mouthful of food.
Joohyun smiles at the little girl as Seulgi leans over, patting her head fondly much to the smaller girl’s delight.
“Thank you, Sunghee. I knew I could always count on you.”
Joohyun watches the interaction take place with something warm in her chest and quickly shakes it off.
Now is definitely not the time for such domestic fantasies to fill her thoughts.
“No one believes you because Joohyun is way out of your league, nerd,” Youngjae pipes up from the other end of the table.
His words make Joohyun frown. That couldn’t be more untrue in Joohyun’s opinion. If anyone is undeserving of anyone, it’s Joohyun because even as just a friend, Joohyun thinks Seulgi could still do way better than her.
She’s about to say as much when she feels a hand placed on her thigh. The furrow between her brows melts immediately at Seulgi’s placating touch, replaced instead by heated cheeks and a heart that has no business beating as fast as it is.
Seemingly unaffected, Seulgi just turns her nose up at him. “Whatever, you’re just jealous because I have an amazing girlfriend and you don’t.”
Yerim openly laughs at him, and even Joohyun can’t suppress the growing smirk on her face despite the shudder she has to suppress at Seulgi soothingly squeezing her thigh in what she probably thinks is comforting but what Joohyun just finds as distracting.
“She’s not even your real girlfriend,” Youngjae mumbles, going back to his food with newfound aggression.
“Says you,” Seulg huffs, finally removing her hand. Joohyun almost frowns at the loss before remembering herself, taking a large sip of the wine in her glass instead.
“So, hypothetically, if you two are actually dating,” Yerim starts, looking back and forth between the two of them, “who made the first move and how did you get together?”
Seulgi probably opens to speak, the story she’d been rehearsing over and over the last few days likely on the tip of her tongue, ready to finally be unleashed for its first willing audience, but Joohyun, still reeling from the effects of Youngjae’s innocuous comment—and probably the wine she’s just guzzled down—begins talking first without thinking.
“I made the first move.” She can feel Seulgi’s stare on the side of her head, but Joohyun pays no mind, continuing on with words she’s kept inside for a long time and now has an excuse to release. “It was only a few months ago. It’s actually kind of a funny story.”
“Really?” Yerim sits up, interested now that Joohyun’s the one speaking on their relationship. “What happened?”
“Well, I’ve honestly had a crush on Seulgi for a long time,” Joohyun explains easily. Yerim raises her brow curiously, and next to her she hears Seulgi gasp sharply.
“Really?”
Joohyun nods. “Since we first met. I thought she was really cute, but she had a girlfriend already, so I decided that just being her friend was enough.”
“I didn’t like that girl,” Seulgi’s mom comments offhandedly, and Joohyun realizes for the first time that it’s more than just Yerim listening to them now.
“Me neither,” her dad agrees. “She was nice, but not right for you, princess.”
“I know that now,” Joohyun hears Seulgi mumble, and she bites back a grimace, remembering that time years ago when she had to painfully watch on the sides as Seulgi suffered through a relationship with someone who definitely didn’t warrant any of Seulgi’s tears.
“But that relationship ended a long time ago. Why didn’t you say anything then?” Yeri questions.
Joohyun shrugs, distractedly picking at the napkin on the table to avoid all the gazes she can feel burning into her.
“We were already such good friends by then, I didn’t want to risk it.”
“So what changed?”
“Ah, well a few months ago, Seulgi had just finished a huge project at work that she’d been stressing about for a while, so she went out with some of her coworkers to celebrate,” Joohyun starts, glancing briefly at Seulgi to see her with her brows furrowed, probably recalling the exact night Joohyun is referring to. “This dummy here drank too much, though, and ended up calling me to come pick her up. It was already past midnight, and I was sleeping, so I told her to just call a cab, but she kept whining until eventually I came to get her.”
“Hey, I didn’t whine,” Seulgi complains. “You said yes after I asked the first time!”
Joohyun grins and pokes her side, “Shush, I’m trying to make it more exciting.”
Seulgi squirms away from her, and Joohyun allows herself a brief respite to get lost in Seulgi’s tiny smile—something small and just for Joohyun to keep.
“What next?” Yerim prompts.
Joohyun looks around and sees that they’ve earned the interest of everyone else at the table too, now, and she breathes deeply, biting back her anxiousness.
“Well, when I got there, Seulgi was way too drunk and didn’t want to get in the car. We ended up walking around for a while before we stopped to get ramyun from a convenience store. We were just sitting outside eating, and you know how Seulgi is when she’s drunk, she talks a lot without realizing and just says whatever’s on her mind without any filter.”
“Yeah, I know,” Youngjae responds with a fond roll of his eyes. Seulgi pokes her tongue out at him as everyone else laughs, remembering all the minor drunken arguments the two have gotten into in the past from the both of them speaking their minds a little too much.
Joohyun looks to Seulgi again, noticing the blush on her cheeks. It’s the first time Joohyun's ever talked about this night since the morning immediately after, and even though everything inside of Joohyun is telling her to shut up and just stick to the story Seulgi came up with, she can’t help herself. She’s already started, it’s too late to stop now.
It’s not like Seulgi remembers the truth anyway.
“Seulgi told me how she had a crush on someone close to her but was too afraid to say anything. She didn’t want to ruin their friendship and lose that person from her life. I kind of figured she was talking about me, and since I knew she was drunk and wouldn’t remember, I got brave and told her I felt that way about someone too. When she asked me who I was talking about, I was honest, and said it was her.”
“Aw,” Yerim coos as Joohyun feels her cheeks warm from an impending blush. “So what happened next? She ended up remembering right?”
Thinking of what happened next, Joohyun shakes her head, and says, “Nope. The next morning she asked me what happened that night. She didn’t remember a thing.”
“Wait, so how’d you get together then?” Youngjae asks. Everyone turns to look at him questioningly, and he flushes, sinking down in his seat. “What? I’m curious.”
Joohyun scratches her cheek uncertainly, leans back in her seat, and shrugs. “I just got tired of pretending, I guess, so I decided to tell her the truth. This time we were both sober enough to remember it, and we just got together. That’s it.”
“That’s cute,” Yerim comments.
“Cute!” Sunghee repeats.
“Really cute!” Junho adds.
“Yeah, yeah. You’re cute,” Youngjae grumbles.
“My darling prince,” Seulgi’s dad says, “don’t be jealous of your sister and her happiness. One day you’ll find someone too, and we’ll all be thrilled for you just like we are for her.”
“W-What? That’s not—I’m not—who would be jealous of her!”
“Wait, so you all actually believe me now?” Seulgi perks up, looking around the table full of her family with excited eyes.
Without missing a beat, the entire table responds with one resounding, “No.”
“Oh, come on!”
They all laugh, and, quietly, Joohyun just goes back to her dinner, heart pounding and mood decidedly dimmer for reasons she doesn’t want to think about. So like she always does when she’s too afraid to deal with something, Joohyun just pushes it down, hoping that if she doesn’t think about it, it’ll just go away by itself.
Next to her, she doesn’t even realize that Seulgi’s stopped eating herself, too busy clenching and unclenching her fists in her lap with a similar frown marring her face.
“I swear you’re cheating!”
“I don’t even own this game. I have to ask you about the controls every time we play. How could I possibly cheat?”
“I don’t know, but I’ll figure it out. You're definitely cheating.”
“Oppa, maybe you just —ow!”
Seulgi throws the pillow that just hit her squarely in the face back at Youngjae who, unlike his sister, has the presence of mind to dodge it. With a sizeable lead, Joohyun finishes the race in first, grinning triumphantly up at Seulgi when the final results come in and Youngjae isn’t even in the top three.
“This game is rigged,” he states, throwing his controller down with a grunt. He glares at Joohyun. “What about a monopoly? Chess? There has to be some game you’re not good at.”
“Nope, Unnie is good at everything,” Seulgi answers solemnly. “The only thing I’ve ever beat her in was virtual bingo and that was all luck.”
“You’re cheating.”
“You’re a sore loser.”
“You’re a sore winner!” Just then, Youngjae gets a text on his phone. He opens it and immediately groans. “Look at this! Who does this?!”
He holds his phone screen out, where on it is a text from Joohyun. It’s just a grainy picture of their final results from the game with Joohyun’s name in first place circled sloppily in red.
Seulgi laughs heartily as Joohyun smirks, pleased both at her score and the fact she’s earned one of Seulgi’s smiles. Youngjae makes a face at the two of them, picking up his controller to start another race.
“Can I play?” Sunghee asks, crawling into Joohyun’s lap. Joohyun settles her in comfortably, trapping her with her arms so that she can hold the controller in front of Sunghee.
“Sure you can. Here. Have my controller. I’ve beaten Youngjae enough already.”
Youngjae makes a strangled noise that everyone ignores.
“Me too! I wanna play too!” Junho runs in, jumping onto Youngjae’s back who just lets it happen.
“Fine, you can play as me. Don’t lose!” Youngjae warns, handing off his controller to Junho who happily takes it.
It takes less than ten seconds for the two children to completely ruin Joohyun and Youngjae’s rankings, but neither of them really mind, watching as the kids decide that going the opposite way of the course is more fun than actually trying to race.
“Hey,” Seulgi leans forward from her spot on the couch, whispering lowly into Joohyun’s ear who’s seated on the floor in front of her. Joohyun shivers at the feeling of her warm breath, always a little bit sensitive whenever Seulgi’s concerned. “It’s been a long day, we can go to my room and rest if you want.”
Joohyun feels her heart rate spike, suddenly nervous at the thought of sharing a room with Seulgi even though that’s something they’ve done many times before. Swallowing back the sudden nerves, she turns around to narrow her eyes playfully at the other girl.
“Is that a proposition? Are you trying to seduce me?”
The wide eyed look Seulgi gives her is comical, but it’s the flush to her cheeks that Joohyun immediately picks up on. It’s not often Joohyun can catch Seulgi off guard, and usually, it’s only from moments like this—when Joohyun decides to throw caution to the wind and be a little bolder. She just doesn’t normally have the opportunity to do that, though, too preoccupied with trying to make sure her feelings stay hidden.
But there must be something about the air tonight, or maybe it’s the fact Seulgi actually wants Joohyun to act like she wants her that has Joohyun doing more than she usually does. At any rate, Joohyun could certainly stand to see Seulgi like this because of her more often.
“N-No! I was just saying, because it’s been a long day, and you drove! So you might be tired? We don’t have to! Or you can go alone if you want too! I was just—”
“Seulgi,” Joohyun stops her, placing a hand on her knee. “I was just kidding. Relax.”
Seulgi’s gaze dips to Joohyun’s hand, pausing there for a long moment before she meets Joohyun’s eyes again. Her eyes darken and parts as if to speak, but the only sound that comes out is a quiet, “Oh.”
“Gross, stop flirting.”
Joohyun pulls back on instinct, turning away from Seugli’s heavy stare as Yerim walks in, shooing a cat off the couch to sit next to Seulgi. Joohyun focuses back on the game on the screen, smiling slightly at Sunghee’s character driving into every wall. Her breathing feels a little heavier than normal and she wonders, distractedly, if anyone other than her can notice it.
“She’s my girlfriend. We’re allowed to flirt.”
“Not your girlfriend,” Yerim and Youngjae both chime at the same time.
Joohyun doesn’t hear Seulgi say anything back, but she can imagine the put out expression she’s likely sporting. The thought makes her giggle, hiding her grin in Sunghee’s hair when she feels Seulgi toe at her side in warning. She shifts slightly, but Seulgi doesn’t move her leg, keeping it pressed to Joohyun’s side, and Joohyun eases into it, welcoming the familiar touch.
“Hey, Joohyun-unnie,” Yerim suddenly calls. “I’ve never really asked before, but how come you’re always here anyway? Daegu’s not that far, don’t you want to see your family during the holidays?”
The question makes Joohyun pause. She purses her lips, trying to think of a way to word this lightly. It’s already a topic that’s made the rounds in Seulgi’s family before, Joohyun’s sure, but years ago when Seulgi first brought her home after Joohyun revealed she had nowhere else to go, Yerim was still practically a child. She probably never paid attention to the hushed gossip and whispered explanations over why Joohyun would be tagging along with Seulgi again.
Joohyun doesn’t fault her for asking, but it’s still a topic she doesn’t enjoy having to talk about.
“My parents have their own restaurant, so they’re pretty busy. If I went home, they’d probably just make me work,” Joohyun explains with what she hopes is a casual shrug, opting for a safer, easier answer that’s far sweeter than the truth.
It’s not exactly a Christmas friendly story in Joohyun’s opinion. No one likes to hear about a failed coming out story and parents who would rather pretend their daughter doesn’t exist than acknowledge that she does and likes women. Not in this family, anyway, where they accept Seulgi so much they give her more grief for not having a girlfriend than having one—to the point that Seulgi thought she needed to bring a fake one just to satisfy them.
Seulgi’s always been the exception to most of life’s rules, though, Joohyun thinks. She’s certainly the exception to a lot of Joohyun’s anyway.
Yerim nods, letting it go even though Joohyun can tell she wants to inquire more. Joohyun’s always liked the younger girl for that reason. Even when she was a kid and liked to scare Joohyun with her pranks, she was generally respectful. Even Youngjae with all his snide comments never said anything about Joohyun always being around. That’s why Joohyun loves Seulgi’s family. They were everything she wished she could have had for herself growing up.
“Unnie is my girlfriend, of course she’s here. Where else would she go?” Seulgi adds, livening the atmosphere that had dropped considerably from Yerim’s question.
Yerim rolls her eyes at her. “Are you still on about that?”
“She’s my real girlfriend, I swear!”
“Sure.”
“Really!”
They scuffle for a bit, Yerim kicking at Seulgi’s legs while Seulgi slaps at her feet. Considering how Seulgi is older than Yerim, the two have always had a strange dynamic, feeling more like same aged friends to Joohyun than older and younger cousins. Joohyun doesn’t question it, laughing in amusement at how they play together.
Pausing briefly so that Yerim can check her phone, Seulgi finds Joohyun’s eyes, checking in with her silently. Joohyun nods gratefully to her, pushing her shoulder into Seulgi’s knee. She leaves it there, wanting to maintain that point of contact for reasons Joohyun doesn’t want to think about, and laughs along with Sunghee as the little girl moves around excitedly in her lap when Youngjae switches off their game to put on a Christmas movie instead.
“If Joohyun-unnie is really your girlfriend,” Yerim starts again, “then prove it.”
“Okay,” Seulgi answers easily, brushing her hand along Joohyun’s shoulder when Joohyun turns back to look at them questioningly. “How?”
Yerim’s smirk is devious at best, and Joohyun thinks Seulgi really should have known better by now. She could already groan at where she’s sure Yerim’s thought process is heading.
“Kiss her.”
Seulgi sputters immediately, whole face turning red. Youngjae and Yerim both guffaw loudly as Junho and Sunghee both yell in disgust at the idea of a kiss. Truthfully, Joohyun’s not immune either, and it’s only her carefully practiced mask of nonchalance that prevents any of them from seeing the effects Yerim’s demand has on her.
“Anything but that,” Seulgi says. Her whole body has gone rigid, and Joohyun would laugh at her if she didn’t feel so bad. Adding unnecessarily, Seulgi mutters, “There are kids around.”
“Then tell them to leave?” Youngjae suggests.
“They’re watching a movie!”
As if on cue, Seulgi’s aunt calls the two kids to the kitchen for dessert, and they run off immediately, Sunghee scampering off Joohyun’s lap with an excited cry of, “Cookies!”
Joohyun sees Seulgi watching their retreating back forlornly and bites back a grin.
“So what’s your excuse now?” Yerim asks.
“Uh, well…”
“Seulgi’s not allowed to kiss me right now,” Joohyun offers, moving from the floor to Seulgi’s side on the couch. “She’s on time out.”
A chorus of ooooh’s ring out that make Seulgi flush a deep red and Joohyun laugh gleefully.
“What did she do? Make you pretend to be her girlfriend so we’d stop making fun of her?”
Joohyun keeps her smile mysterious and shrugs as Seulgi scrunches her nose in a way that Joohyun decidedly does not find adorable.
“That’s between the two of us.”
Yerim rolls her eyes. “Yeah, definitely not dating.”
Youngjae and Yerim fist bump in agreement as Seulgi groans, still embarrassed. Amused, Joohyun links her arm around Seulgi’s, pressing into her side boldly.
“Am I really on time out?” Seulgi asks jokingly once Yerim and Youngjae both turn their attention back to the movie. She keeps her voice low so that it’s just between the two of them, and Joohyun mirrors it, nudging Seulgi with her shoulder when she answers.
“I don’t know. Maybe.”
“How should I make it up to you then? Should I buy you something nice? Cook for you?” Seulgi asks, grinning so charmingly Joohyun has to force herself to look away. She adds conspiratorially, “Do you actually want a kiss maybe?”
Joohyun’s face heats up instantly.
“Don’t be stupid,” Joohyun mutters, turning towards the movie. “Just watch the movie.”
Seulgi’s laugh rings in her ears, and Joohyun can do nothing more than hide her face in Seulgi’s arm, both of them oblivious to the two pairs of eyes in the room watching the interaction with knowing looks.
Seulgi only has a small twin bed in her room, and Joohyun flops down onto it tiredly. Between the drive here from Seoul and the work she unexpectedly had to get done early in the morning, Joohyun is more than exhausted and ready to sleep.
“I can’t believe we have to share this bed. There’s no way we’re both going to fit.”
The end of the bed dips when Seulgi sits down on it, and she purses her lips, scrutinizing the tiny mattress.
“We have definitely shared a smaller space before. It’ll be fine.”
Joohyun groans but says nothing. If Seulgi hadn’t insisted to everyone around them they were a couple and that couples “absolutely, must share a room, Unnie,” then Joohyun could have already been curled up on the couch or on a bedroll on the floor like usual.
But no, now Joohyun’s left to her own devices to try and figure out a way she can stop herself from wanting to instinctively cuddle Seulgi in her sleep. A more daunting task than it should be considering Seulgi is a very naturally cuddleable being.
“Do you want to wash up first?” Joohyun asks eventually, eyes already closed with the promise of sleep.
She feels Seulgi shift around on the bed, but doesn’t open her eyes, too busy with thoughts wondering if she can get away without washing her face fully tonight. Her skin won’t look that bad if she skips out on her full night routine, right?
“Actually, can we talk?”
Joohyun’s eyes shoot open instantly. Even with her gaze firmly planted on the ceiling, she can feel the way Seulgi is looking at her. She notices a heavy weight against the pit of her stomach and realizes, belatedly, that it’s just her own mounting anxiety settling there.
“What about?”
“Well, firstly, are you okay?” Seulgi asks concernedly. “I know Yerim didn’t mean anything with her question earlier, but it’s okay if you’re upset about it. I can talk to her if you’d like.”
Joohyun smiles, relaxing back into the mattress at Seulgi’s thoughtfulness.
“No, don’t worry about it. I’m fine. I’ll tell her the full story myself one day, I just didn’t really want to get into it tonight with the kids there and all.”
“You’re sure?”
Seulgi has a furrow to her brow, and Joohyun toes at her knee on the bed until her expression evens out.
“Yeah, I’m sure.”
“If you say so.” Seulgi smiles. It only lasts a second before the scrunch between her brows is back. Joohyun can’t help the dread that returns at the sight of it, curious at what could still make Seulgi so uneasy. “Also…about earlier….”
At Seulgi’s uncertain voice, Joohyun finds the courage to sit up. She leans back on her palms, finding Seulgi picking idly at some loose threads in the comforter. Joohyun bites at her lip, not liking where this conversation seems to be going.
“What about earlier?”
Finally, Seulgi meets her eyes, and the seriousness of them has Joohyun pausing, wondering where such intensity came from and why it’s being directed at her.
“Why did you lie?”
Joohyun frowns. “What do you mean?”
“You told me nothing happened that night.”
And, oh, Joohyun realizes, that’s what she’s talking about.
“Seulgi, that was just a story for your family. That didn’t mean anything.”
Seulgi shakes her head, shifting her body so that she’s facing Joohyun completely now. On this tiny bed, Joohyun’s trapped. Seulgi’s positioned herself so that Joohyun can’t get up to leave without having to pass her, and Joohyun knows that Seulgi’s the type who works out her problems with other people as soon as she can. She doesn’t like unresolved conflict if she can help it. There’s no way she’d let Joohyun leave unless Joohyun asks, and Joohyun knows that Seulgi knows Joohyun would never ask.
“It wasn’t just a story. I remember that night. I know we got ramyun and that we talked. I know what I said, and I know what happened afterwards, so why did you tell me nothing happened the morning after?”
The accusation doesn’t sit well with Joohyun. As if she was the one who started this whole mess to begin with. Seulgi wasn’t supposed to know about this. In fact, Joohyun can distinctly remember Seulgi saying she didn’t recall anything from that night. So why was she suddenly revealing all this now? Why question Joohyun like she was the one who lied first?
Joohyun narrows her eyes sharply, nostrils flaring as she breathes in deeply in an effort to calm herself. She has a tendency to be more biting than she intends to when she’s emotional, and she doesn’t want to ruin their holiday by unintentionally hurting Seulgi with words she doesn’t even mean.
“If you remember all of that, then why did you ask me about it the next day like you didn’t? What else was I supposed to say? I couldn’t just tell that you that we—”
Joohyun cuts off, turning towards the wall so that she doesn’t have to stare Seulgi in the face. This has been something she’s agonized over by herself for months. Seulgi was never supposed to remember, and Joohyun was supposed to go on pretending like they were still best friends and nothing happened.
It’s all Seulgi’s fault, Joohyun thinks. Seulgi and her plan to bring someone home for Christmas just because she was tired of fielding questions from her relatives about her relationship status. It didn’t even work, and no one even cared that Seulgi was showing up single like always with her usual friend in tow that she was trying and failing to pass off as a pretend girlfriend. All that for nothing, just to end up here talking about something Joohyun thought she’d already successfully buried.
How stupid.
“That we kissed,” Seulgi finishes.
There’s a long suffering pause where neither says anything. Still too afraid to look Seulgi in the eye, Joohyun traces the pattern on the comforter instead.
“Yeah…that….”
Seulgi inhales deeply, chuckling dryly not long after.
“So it was that bad…” Joohyun snaps her head towards Seulgi at the words, finding the girl looking despondently down at her lap. “I messed up that much you don’t want to remember it.”
“What? Seulgi, no.” Joohyun recognizes the tremble in Seulgi’s tone, and before she can even think about it, she’s reaching out for her. She stops halfway, though, unsure that her touch would even be welcome. She shakes her head instead. “That’s not why I—I just didn’t—I thought you wanted to forget about it.”
Seulgi’s the one who whips her head up now. Her eyes are shining with unshed tears, but the burning in her gaze is still just as strong as before, though this time there’s a different kind of emotion there instead—one Joohyun can’t quite pinpoint.
“Unnie, why would I want to forget? I’ve been in love with you for years, that was one of the happiest nights of my life! But I…”
Seulgi bites her lips, eyes dropping dejectedly from Joohyun’s once again. Joohyun resists the urge to tilt her face back up, still reeling from the confession she wasn’t expecting.
“I kissed you while I was drunk. I didn’t ask, and I didn’t know if you wanted it. I just did it,” Seulgi admits heavily. Tears pool around the edges of her eyes as her lips tremble, and all Joohyun can think about is how much she just wants to hug her. “I’m so sorry, Unnie. I didn’t want it to happen that way, and then the next morning, I woke up and I saw you and I panicked because I didn’t want you to hate me, so I acted like I didn’t remember. Please don’t hate me.”
Joohyun blinks. She feels both overwhelmed and numb at the same time, the emotional whiplash too much from everything Seulgi’s just revealed. Through all of that, though, there’s really only one thing Joohyun can focus on, and it was something Seulgi almost glossed over as if she were talking about something as mundane as what food they ate that day.
“You’re in love with me?” she asks in a whisper, needing to hear the confirmation again herself because she still can’t believe it.
All this time, Joohyun was worried that the truth of that night would end their friendship, scared that if Seulgi ever learned the depth of her feelings it would be their downfall, that Seulgi didn’t want to be with her and it was just one big drunken mistake and none of what she had said was true.
Only for Seulgi to come and say this.
That she felt the same and her only regret that night was a drunken kiss that Joohyun had both wanted and reciprocated?
Seulgi’s eyes widen considerably before she nods seriously, leaning forward on the bed in earnest.
“Yes, of course! I thought you knew that?”
Joohyun narrows her eyes. “How would I have known that?”
“That night! I told you! You said you remembered!”
“You never said that,” Joohyun insists, searching her memories. “You just said you liked me. You only called it a crush.”
“That’s the same thing.” Seulgi waves her off, and Joohyun scoffs, reaching forward to slap at Seulgi’s shoulder.
“That is so not the same thing.” Seulgi giggles at Joohyun’s offense, and Joohyun rolls her eyes, finding this entire conversation both strange and emotionally draining at the same time. “This is so dumb. Why are we even arguing about this?”
“I don’t know,” Seulgi mumbles. She moves so that she can be closer to Joohyun on the bed, diminishing the small amount of distance that was between them to begin with. “So you’re…not mad? That I kissed you?”
Joohyun bumps into her shoulder, Seulgi swaying slightly before gently knocking back into her.
“No. Maybe if you were less drunk, you would have remembered that I kissed you back, and we could have avoided all this,” Joohyun says, half kidding but also half serious. “I am mad you pretended not to remember any of it the next day, though.”
“I’m sorry,” Seulgi apologizes again. She takes Joohyun’s hands in her own, pleading sincerely. “I was afraid you might regret all of it, and I just couldn’t stand the thought of losing you.”
Joohyun softens instantly at the words, squeezing Seulgi’s hands gently. She reaches up, brushing the back of her finger across Seulgi’s cheek, relishing in the way Seulgi leans into her touch. She’s always wanted to touch Seulgi like this, tender and admiring, and knowing Seulgi wants it too has brought on a new kind of high for her. One Joohyun doesn’t want to get rid of.
“Dummy, you could never lose me. I love you too much,” Joohyun finally confesses.
Seulgi lights up instantly, and Joohyun thinks Seulgi’s beautiful like this, eyes curved and smile wide. Joohyun always enjoys seeing Seulgi happy, but it’s always better when she’s the cause of it.
The other girl falls forward, resting her forehead against Joohyun’s shoulder.
“We’re idiots,” Seulgi mumbles into her shirt—the one Seulgi picked to match hers that Joohyun’s yet to change out of.
Joohyun presses her hand to the back of Seulgi’s neck, scratching gentle nails against the base of her skull. Seulgi hums—almost like one of her beloved cats—and Joohyun grins, nosing into Seulgi’s hair.
“Yeah, we are.”
“This is probably why no one believed us.”
“Probably.”
“You really love me?”
Raising her head, Seulgi stares into Joohyun’s eyes, uncertainty still creeping around the edges of her expression. Joohyun takes Seulgi’s face into her hands, squishing her cheeks softly so that her lips are pursed together. She laughs at Seulgi’s disgruntled expression before pressing her forehead against hers.
“I really do,” she says, then does what she’s been wishing she could have done since that drunken night all those months ago, and kisses her. Soft at first, but then more insistently.
Seulgi takes what Joohyun gives her, opening at Joohyun’s coaxing and letting Joohyun have her way. It’s too much, if the way Joohyun’s heart is pounding against her chest is any indication, but it still feels like not enough at all, so Joohyun presses deeper, wanting more and more.
Breathlessly, they eventually part with chests heaving, and it’s Joohyun who falls forward this time, her temple against Seulgi’s collarbone, finding comfort in the familiar scent of her laundry detergent.
“We could have been doing this months ago,” Seulgi says. Her voice sounds shaky, and Joohyun smirks, knowing she’s the cause of it.
“Yeah, we could have.”
“I’m never lying to you again,” Seulgi decides, tilting Joohyun’s face back up so she can press a loving kiss to her cheek.
Joohyun grins happily, whispering against Seulgi’s lips, “Good. You shouldn’t have, to begin with.”
Later, lying underneath the covers of Seulgi’s twin bed, cuddled close together so that they can both fit, Joohyun traces the dip of Seulgi’s spine through her shirt as Seulgi hums a soft melody into her ear.
After a moment, Seulgi stops, pulling back to look Joohyun squarely in the eye. Joohyun raises a brow—curious.
“So, you really had a crush on me when we first met?”
Embarrassed, Joohyun pushes Seulgi away, rolling over to hide her blushing cheeks.
“That was just a story!”
Behind her, Seulgi laughs, draping herself across Joohyun’s back as Joohyun hides her smile in her pillow, for the first time in years, feeling happy and unburdened by the weight of her feelings.
Joohyun wakes first, poking at Seulgi’s cheek until Seulgi opens her eyes slowly with a wet smack of her lips. Joohyun kisses her just because she can, earning a sleepy grin from Seulgi before they both get up and get dressed.
They hold hands as they enter the kitchen, Youngjae has Junho on his shoulders, the little boy tugging at Youngjae’s hair while he looks through the pantry. Yerim’s at the kitchen island, munching distastefully on soggy cereal with Sunghee on her lap, coloring directly on the table with a marker that Joohyun thinks might be permanent.
“You guys, look!” Seulgi announces excitedly, holding up Joohyun’s hand in her own as if that says anything.
They all stare at her blankly.
“Okay?” Yerim says, brow arched in what could only be boredom or judgement or both. Probably both.
Seulgi frowns. She shakes their joined hands together in emphasis. “No, look.”
“Hands!” Sunghee states cheerily, clapping to herself as if she solved the puzzle.
They all crack a smile at that, even as, next to her, Seulgi groans.
“They don’t get it.”
“Dummy,” Joohyun mutters lovingly before reaching up to tilt Seulgi’s face towards her own, kissing her briefly but meaningfully right there in the center of the kitchen.
There’s some claps and some whistling, but Joohyun pays them no mind even though her cheeks are burning. When they pull away, Seulgi’s eyes are shining happily, and Joohyun thinks the slight embarrassment she feels at the moment is worth it if it means Seulgi will always look like that.
“Princess, please. No kissing your girlfriend in the kitchen,” Seulgi’s mom chides them, entering the room with her dad and aunt in tow.
“Yes, save that for more appropriate places. There are children in here,” her dad adds, smiling at them in amusement. He claps Joohyun on the back goodnaturedly as he passes, and Joohyun changes her mind.
The embarrassment is not worth it.
“Wait, so you all believe me now right?” Seulgi asks. “Because I’m serious this time. Joohyun-unnie is really my girlfriend.”
“Yes, yes we know. You’ve been dating for months.”
“Yeah, why are you even asking? Haven’t you been together this whole time?”
“Weren’t you already together last year? Why the announcement now?”
Seulgi looks at all of them with a glare, too adorable for it to feel threatening.
“You all are mean.”
“Mean!” Sunghee repeats.
“Really mean!” Junho says with a giggle, tugging at Youngjae’s hair.
Soothingly, Joohyun kisses Seulgi’s cheek, guiding her to sit down at the kitchen table.
“Merry Christmas,” she says, and Seulgi seemingly melts, smiling bashfully.
“Merry Christmas.”
“Oh yeah, what did you want for Christmas?” Youngjae asks, taking a seat opposite them. Junho is still perched on his shoulders, running a toy car across his scalp. “I didn’t get you anything.”
“That’s okay, Oppa,” Seulgi answers happily. She lifts Joohyun's hand to her lips, and says confidently, “I already got everything I wished for this year.”
Collectively, everyone around them groans, and even though Joohyun finds the words on the more disgusting side of cheesy, she can’t find it in her to mind.
Not when she was just thinking the exact same thing.
i watched nothing but cheesy hallmark movies for a month straight and this happened
also, any character not a red velvet member is an oc. any names used that are identical to other idols is purely coincidental
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