Eunji wakes up in a garden of daisies.

 

They sit around her forehead and tickle between her nose and lips. Staring at the ceiling with a sigh, the girl scoops the petals and stuffs them into the bag beside her bed. There are already three other bags, full of the same daisies she’s been waking up since the past month.

 

Four weeks of pain. Four weeks of suffering through a disease called the Hanahaki. Born out of a one-sided love, the patient starts by coughing up flower petals. If their feelings are not returned, they would eventually suffocate and die. While surgery is possible, this will remove their feelings all together. The memories, emotions, everything. Two choices that draw between the lines of a happy and sad ending.

 

Hayoung walks into the room and stares at her half-sister with worried eyes. “You know, it would be better if you just tell me who it is.”

 

Eunji stays silent. Mouth shut, refusing to let anyone know who her crush is. She would rather choose death than revealing it to the whole world. The girl sits there, staring dead at the wooden floor and swallowing her saliva. She groans at the little thorns poking . Before Hayoung could open again, Eunji tells her that they should get ready for school.

 

Bumping shoulders in between as Eunji leaves for the bathroom, Hayoung leans against the door, unsure of what to do. She crosses her arms and runs her fingers through her hair annoyed.

 

“This is still the one thing I hate about you, unnie. You’re just so stubborn.”

 

At the library, Eunji finds a secluded corner to study. But soon, she becomes distracted when students start whispering loudly. The girl takes a peek and notices Naeun at the entrance. Everyone is in awe at how beautiful she is as the two exchange waves.

 

It would be nice if Eunji was in love with Naeun. It would’ve been easier. She’s gorgeous, gentle and has a pretty smile. But unfortunately, she isn’t. Her heart just beats differently. To Eunji, Naeun is her childhood best friend. They grew up together under the eyes of jealous bullies, protected and looked out for one another in those tough times. In fact, Eunji’s rooting for Naeun to end up with her longtime crush, Bomi.

 

“Hi.” Naeun greets and takes the empty seat beside Eunji. But she stops, eyes turning sad as she can see the petals Eunji has been trying to hide between the pages of her textbook.

 

“Oh Eunji…”

 

“Just pretend you didn’t see anything-“ Eunji whispers, placing her finger on her lips.

 

And that’s when a cough disrupts the peaceful silence of the library. Eunji covers , only to have another flower appear on her palm. One more cough and the girl tries to hold it in. She gasps and closes her eyes shut. But the more she tries to fight it, the more its thorns start to poke her skin.

 

She loses the game. Eunji coughs loudly and rushes to the nearby toilet. Naeun follows her with worry. Inside the cubicle, only her coughs echo against the dirty tile walls. Naeun can’t do anything but to pat her back, hoping it will help ease the pain.  

 

Eunji chokes and catches her breath. She stares at the hopeless white petals floating in the bowl. They don’t look beautiful to her anymore. Just little demons wishing for her death.

 

“I can ask my dad to book an appointment so that we can figure out what’s wrong with you.” Naeun suggests. It’s a given, as she was born in a family of doctors.

 

Eunji squeezes her arm weakly. “Thanks.”

 

 

xxx

 

 

During the weekend when Eunji is out at the court playing tennis with Bomi, the girl suddenly drops her racket and coughs violently. Kneeled down and gasping, Bomi runs to her side and watches helplessly. Now, the white daises have turned to a light pink colour. This is bad.

 

Time is running out.

 

“Eunji-ya! Aren’t best friends supposed to tell each other everything?! I think it’s time you start telling me who you really like and end this misery!”

 

Frustrated at the silent treatment she’s been getting, Bomi confesses, “Okay fine. Is it me? Look, totally understandable if you’re in love with me. I’m funny. I’m good at tennis. Hey, we can make it work. I love you. Come on.”

 

“It’s…not you.” Eunji croaks weakly, managing to get back on her feet. Catching her breath, she picks up her racket and glares at Bomi, “No way in a thousand years would I fall in love with you.”

 

Bomi scoffs and shrugs. “Not funny.” She grabs Eunji by the arm. “If it isn’t me, then who? Who is making you like this?!”

 

That’s when a notification from Eunji’s phone interrupts their conversation. The screen flashes with a message from Chorong.

 

Park Chorong.

 

Bomi freezes. Now, wait. This made so much ing sense now.

 

Ever since the start of their first semester. Ever since the three of them were paired up for a group assignment. Eunji always acted differently around Chorong. The way she looked at her. The way she laughed, talked and behaved.

 

It was such a simple puzzle to solve and yet, how could Bomi not realise the missing piece?

 

“Chorong can just-“

 

“You can’t force someone to love for the sake of saving them!” Eunji yells. “That’s not how love works!”

 

Bomi flinches in surprise over Eunji’s sudden outburst of anger. She’s never seen her behave like that. Definitely not in their 15 years of friendship.

 

Noticing the shock in her eyes, Eunji mutters a quick apology and leaves the court with her stuff. Bomi stands there dumbfounded. She gets her phone and stares at the Chorong’s contact number. She could tell Chorong about Eunji’s Hanahaki disease. But maybe, it’s better not to. The girl puts the phone back into her pocket and decides to let Eunji handle this herself.

 

Rain starts to pour on Eunji’s way back home.  

 

“.”

 

Eunji hates herself for not bringing an umbrella. Managing to get under the bus stop for shelter, she sits down and contemplates over her life. Watching the cars zoom past and hearing the pitter patter noises of droplets onto the cement floor, something hits again.

 

The girl coughs and coughs. Burying each petal into her backpack and hoping nobody around notices, Eunji’s ready to leave the world like this. She knows for sure that her feelings will never be reciprocated. Or rather, this fear of rejection that haunts her.

 

She’s prepared to die. After all, Eunji thinks she’s had a good life. Although she wasn’t born rich, she was born in a family full of love. She spent happy memories as a kid growing up. She’s met so many good people and experienced wonderful things. She thinks it is okay to go now, even though the girl still has much to see in this world.

 

Just as she is about to pick up a petal that fell on the floor, someone picks it up instead.

 

“You know, you look really pathetic unnie.”

 

Eunji looks up in surprise. “Namjoo…”

 

If there’s anyone among her circle of friends that would be able to talk some sense into Eunji, it would be her. Even though they don’t get to meet very often due to their different courses and lifestyles, sometimes coincidences like these seem fated to be.

 

“I heard from Hayoung. You’ve got a bad case of Hanahaki.”

 

“Yeah, thanks for letting me know genius.” Eunji replies sarcastically. Namjoo chuckles and stares at the woman who definitely hasn’t been her usual self.

 

Namjoo remembers Eunji as a bright person, always bringing lots of optimism to the people around her. Whenever there was a difficult wall to climb, she would find ways to break through them and find the light again. But here, she’s just a gloomy cloud that’s ready to start a raging thunderstorm.

 

“Bomi messaged me just now. Naeun too. Hayoung as well. Everyone’s worried for you. So can you just stop playing hero and tell her already?”

 

“It’s not as easy as you think.” Eunji stares at the ground, refusing eye-contact.

 

“Oh yeah? Want me to call Chorong unnie to come here right now?”

 

Eunji grabs Namjoo’s arm as it’s about to reach her purse. “For s sake. Chorong is in London for her conference.”

 

“Oh.” Namjoo stops and crosses her arms. “So, the presentation of her paper is more important? I doubt Chorong would agree on that statement. Let me call her for her opinion.”

 

“Just stop it!” Eunji snatches the phone from Namjoo’s hand. She sighs and simply hands it back. “I can handle this myself, okay? Just…just give me some time.”

 

Namjoo rolls her eyes and sighs. “Alright, one week.” She glares. “After that, I don’t care. I’m going to bring everyone and force you to take the surgery.”

 

Although hesitant, Eunji agrees to the deal.

 

 

xxx

 

 

And so, the countdown begins. One week.

 

But Eunji dismisses everything she’s promised. The girl simply continued her everyday life, going to classes, playing tennis with Bomi and studying at the library with Naeun. All that as the bags of daisies pile up in her room. Hayoung has given up trying to get through her stubborn step-sister but has been sending reports to Namjoo in secret.

 

Whenever a new message from Chorong pops on her screen, Eunji quickly swipes it away. She panics whenever she sees her name. Even with a call, she cancels it. She’s not ready and will probably never be ready.

 

One day, Eunji is stuck in the toilet. She’s been coughing all morning. Hayoung isn’t home as she has classes. Her daisies are no longer white nor pink. But bloody red. It fills the bowl and the striking colours seem to make her bathroom look a little lively, or…horror-like. Her vision is getting blurry and the world seems to be spinning.

 

The doorbell rings. Eunji wonders if Hayoung ordered something online or the landlady needed something. The girl struggles to get up. With each ring, she manages to take a step forward, one at a time. At last, she manages to grab onto the knob and opens it.

 

But the girl freezes.

 

This can’t be happening.

 

“…What are you doing here?”

 

Eunji blinks. She can’t believe her eyes.

 

 “Y-You’re supposed to be in London presenting your paper. What the are you doing here Chorong?!”

 

The girl glares at her in anger. Tears welling up in her eyes.

 

“Does it look like I can present my paper when my friend is dying?”

 

Friend.

 

Eunji scoffs and looks away. “So, are you here to pay your final farewells?” The girl comments, her world becoming dark. She was right. To Chorong, she’s just a friend.

 

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” Chorong yells. “You didn’t answer any of my messages or calls! Don’t you know how worried sick I was? They told me about your condition. You kept vomiting blood and you refused to see the doctor!”

 

Eunji sighs. They told Chorong a lie. They hid the fact about her having the Hanahaki disease. I guess in some ways, friends do keep their promises. They gave her one chance to make it right.

 

The girl looks at Chorong. She’s missed her very much. The moment she left for London, that’s when Eunji started contracting the disease. She had wished for Chorong to be by her side. To drown in her scent. To feel her touch. To just hear her voice, like right now. She had no idea how she’s become so insanely smitten in love with this girl who is the complete opposite of her ideal types.  

 

“…Eunji?” Chorong calls her name when the girl doesn’t answer.  

 

“Let me show you something.” Eunji says as she takes Chorong to her bedroom and opens the bags of daisies. “Try guessing where all these daisies came from.” The girl asks to which Chorong looks on with confusion.

 

“I…”

 

“These daises came from here.” Eunji says as she picks up a daisy and places it near her chest. “I know this sounds unreal but my lungs started growing flowers because of you.” She chuckles when she looks at Chorong’s reaction.

 

“It’s called the Hanahaki disease.” Eunji explains. “I start coughing flowers until my love is returned by that someone. Otherwise, I’d die. I could go for surgery but that means, I would forget about this person. All of the memories we had together. We’d become total strangers and there was no way I would let that go.”

 

Eunji hands the daisy to her.

 

“Because I would rather choose death than to forget you…” The girl musters the courage to say it. With every remaining strength she has inside her. “…Chorong.”

 

The girl stands there in shock. More tears start to run down her cheeks as she starts to sob, realising what this all meant. Eunji approaches her to wipe the tears away as she smiles sadly.

 

“Damn, I’m not even dead yet, Chorong.” Eunji tries to joke. “Keep these tears when I’m actually dead.”

 

“You’re so stupid.” Chorong mutters and slowly embraces Eunji. “Really, really stupid.” The girl gently throws punches at her chest. “It’s really amazing how I could fall in love with someone so stupid like you.”

 

Eunji drops her daisy. She stands there, eyes wide open. Pupils shaking. “W-what…?” The girl pulls back and looks at Chorong. “What did you say? Say that again.”

 

Chorong doesn’t reply. She sniffles and mumbles, “Stupid.” before pulling her forward. Their lips touch. They kiss. Eunji closes her eyes as her tears fall.

 

She thinks about their first meeting together. She remembers the way she almost lost her breath when Chorong entered through that door. The way her heart started thumping so excitedly like the way she felt right now.

 

This excitement. This euphoria. A thousand of senses.

 

For once, Eunji felt at peace. She was free of pain. It was so lightweight that perhaps, she could fly.

 

 

xxx

 

 

That night, everyone gathered at Eunji and Hayoung’s flat for a party. It was more of a celebration. Bomi and Hayoung can be heard yelling as they’re playing a game of Mario Kart with their rented Nintendo box. Naeun and Namjoo are seated in the beanie bags, watching and laughing. Chorong and Eunji are in the kitchen, preparing the meals.

 

Ever since Chorong’s return, all of Eunji’s pain has disappeared. Nothing itching or squeezing her lungs. It feels like a fever dream.

 

“Pass me the onions.” Chorong asks to which Eunji approaches with the items in hand. But all of a sudden, she stops. And coughs.

 

A single, dry cough.

 

Everyone stopped and looked at Eunji in worry. There was a flower. But it wasn’t red. Nor pink. It was a white, beautiful daisy.

 

The girls sighed in relief.

 

“Alright, bring out the booze!!” Bomi shouts.

 

With each passing week, Eunji’s coughs got lesser and lesser. There was no longer a need for her to keep bags of daisies in her room. The surgery was cancelled.

 

She could study in the library without having to worry about disturbing the others. She got to play tennis as usual and finally won a game against Bomi. Eunji was no longer alone. She had Chorong by her side now.

 

During classes, they sat side-by-side and would occasionally get distracted by each other’s “naughty” hands. On their way home, they would have dinner together and take walks at the park. During the weekends, they would have dates at the shopping mall or spent a quiet evening at home when Hayoung wasn’t around.

 

Eunji finally stopped coughing. She was no longer growing flowers in her lungs. She was not sick anymore. She was free from the Hanahaki curse, forever.

 

xxx

 

A year later in December, Eunji does not wake up in a garden of daisies. Instead, she wakes up to the beautiful sight of Chorong sleeping in their bed. They’ve had quite the night, after all the festivities and formalities over a party that celebrated their successful paper presentation which they’ve worked together as co-authors.

 

The couple has now received a grant to further research on the Hanahaki disease, in hopes of actually finding a cure and helping victims all around the world. But for now, saving the world needs to wait.

 

“Good morning, daisy.” Eunji hums, planting kisses all over her lover. She’s gotten bold over the year. At first, she was cautious. She was scared that Chorong didn’t like the skinship. But now, oh boy, she’s a ing wolf. Touching everywhere as she pleases, even in public places when Chorong tells her not to.

 

Chorong groans, having gotten used to that anyway. “That nickname is going to haunt me forever huh?” The girl giggles when she remembers how funny it was, now that they’ve looked back. If only they were brave enough, if only they were more upfront with their feelings, all of that drama wasn’t necessary.

 

But perhaps, it was needed. The tears, the hug, the separation. It was all necessary.

 

“I’ll keep calling you that even when we’re old and wrinkly humans. You’re the reason why I’m still alive, don’t you know that?” Eunji asks. Chorong looks at her girlfriend, suddenly feeling emotional.

 

“I’m happy that you’re here, Eunji.”

 

Eunji cuddles Chorong under the blankets and whispers sweet words.

 

“Me too, daisy.”

 

~fin~

 

 

a/n: this was made specially for an eunrong secret santa project! wishing everyone a joyous, safe and merry christmas! <3