dos

I can’t fall asleep which is totally unlike me. I don’t know why, but there’s something about Ji Yong that reminds me of . . . someone. Someone I knew from a long time ago, probably. I don’t know who and that’s what’s been keeping me from sleeping. Maybe I should I ask him if we’ve met before. But that question wouldn’t make any sense since this is my first time living in Korea.

I groan, running my hand through my already messy bed hair as I swing my legs off my bed, standing up to change out of my pajamas. Once I’m dressed in something else, I step out of my cold bedroom and into my living room. Its pitch black and I want to turn on the light, but I don’t want to wake up Ji Yong. The lights in my apartment are super bright that they almost blinded me one time.

I plop down on my couch, sitting Indian-style as I grab the remote to turn on the television when I feel another presence in my living room. I look up. “Couldn’t sleep either?” Ji Yong asks me and I shake my head as he sits down next to me, sitting in the same position as me. “Me either. I had a lot of things on my mind.”

I chuckle lightly. That’s the same reason why I couldn’t fall asleep. “Me too,” I look over at Ji Yong, finding him staring at the television. “What things were on your mind?”

“. . . stupid stuff,” he mumbles, shaking his head. “Let’s forget I even said anything about it, okay?”

I frown. Why does he want to drop the subject so suddenly when we just started talking only a minute ago? “Why?”

“It’s . . . not important and it doesn’t make any sense,” Ji Yong responds, finally making eye contact with me, his chocolate-brown eyes gazing at me as I feel my heart flutter. I bite my bottom lip. Why does this feel all so . . . familiar? I don’t ever remember anyone making my heart flutter before. Unless that person was in my dreams, then I don’t remember.

I nod my head. “Araseo,” I reply. “If you don’t want to tell me, then you don’t have to. After all, we just me each other,” I add and I think Ji Yong almost flinched when I said, “We just met each other.”

We stay quiet for a moment, the sound of the television playing as I try to figure some more things out in my head. I feel like something like this has happened before . . . but I don’t know where or when. “You really don’t remember me?” Ji Yong asks silently, and I almost think that he is talking to himself until I see him staring at me with a blank stare. I gulp. I’m . . . I’m supposed to remember him? But from where? The only thing that I remember about him is the performance that I watched the other day.

I shake my head slowly. “Am . . . am I supposed to?”

Ji Yong’s holds my face in his hands, caressing my cheeks, and I hold my breath. “Soyeon-ah,” he starts, his voice saying my name sparking some sort of memory in my head. “You really don’t remember me?”

It’s as if I’m watching a movie―kind of like a documentary of my life, or something like that. A bunch of images flash in front me before they stop, stopping at one image where I am in my old high school uniform, walking inside my old school with a smile on my face. My eyes widen a little; as I remember this.

I stop by my locker, unlocking the lock before I open my locker, pulling my bag off of my back as I hang it on one of the hooks inside. I stand on my tip-toes as I do this because, well, I guess the makers of these lockers were giants because the hooks are all the way at the top. And for a not-so-short, but a not-so-tall person, it’s hard for me to reach the hooks . . . unless he’s here to help me. Speaking of him, where is Ji Yong?

As if he’s reading my mind, I feel his body up against mine as he hugs me from behind, making my cheeks turn pink from his touch. I wiggle around as I continue trying to hang my bag when I feel Ji Yong’s hands crawling up my arm, up to my hands that are holding my bag. Smoothly, he hangs my bag as his hand drops, turning me around only to feel his soft lips press against mine, leaving me breathless as always. My arms find their way around his neck as he pulls my body closer to his, even though we’re as close as we can possibly get. And then, Ji Yong breaks the kiss with a smirk placed on his lips. “Hey,” he says.

“Hey,” I respond, a little breathless as his finger caresses my cheek.

“I need to talk to you.” Is all Ji Yong tells me before he grabs my arm, pulling me in the direction of door that leads to the outside-sitting area of our school. Inside the sitting area, there are barely any people sitting—unless you count the few people reading books. Ji Yong and I sit at an empty table all the way in the back, and right as we sit down, he starts by facing my completely. “Remember how I told you I auditioned for that company in Korea? And the reason why I was gone this summer was because I was in Korea?” he asks and I nod my head. Ji Yong sighs, his hands rubbing his face and I frown, my hands finding their way to his face, holding his face in my hands.

“You sound upset,” I tell him. “What’s wrong? Did you not get in, or something?”

Ji Yong shakes his head. “No . . . I did get in.”

Shouldn’t he be happy that he got in? This is all that he’s been dreaming about ever since his dad got based here in Hawaii. If Ji Yong had stayed in Korea, he would probably already be a famous entertainer by now. “You got in!” I exclaim, but nothing comes from him. “Shouldn’t . . . shouldn’t you be happy about this?”

Ji Yong nods his head, smiling. “I am. I really am . . . but I’m going to miss you so much, jagi. You don’t even know,” he tells me and I sigh. I already knew that he would get in (I mean, he’s freaking Kwon Ji Yong. Who doesn’t love him? Everyone at school practically bows down to the guy, I wouldn’t be surprised if he got his own key to the country, or something like that), so I’ve already started to establish how it would feel without him here. Without him here to hold me like he normally does. Without him here to talk to me.

I smile. “You’re acting as if you’re leaving tomorrow,” I joke, looking at him to see if he’ll laugh or show some other emotion besides smiling, but he doesn’t. My smile disappears as I finally realize it: he’s leaving soon. He’s leaving sooner than he’s supposed to. “When are you leaving,” I ask him.

“Tomorrow,” he mumbles and it feels as though someone took out my heart and broke it until it no longer looked like a beating heart. I close my eyes as I feel the water stinging, trying to find their way out so that they can flow down my face like a rushing waterfall. I never cry in front of people (not even in front of Ji Yong), but right now, I feel like just letting my guard down so that I can let my feelings just come out of me. Call me selfish, but I don’t want him to leave. At least, not yet. Not when we’re still in this amazing relationship together. Not when it’s our last year of high school together. “Baby, don’t cry.”

I haven’t even noticed the tears falling down my face until Ji Yong said those three words. Suddenly, I feel my face being pushed up against a warm and hard chest―Ji Yong’s chest. I can feel his shirt starting to soak up from my tears, but since I’m finally letting my guard down for once, I don’t care. He rubs my back up and down soothingly as he kisses my hair, telling me that it’s okay if I cry. I sniffle, my tears finally cooling down and my eyes starting to feel droopy from all of the crying. “I-I don’t think I can go to the airport w-with you,” I mumble quietly so that only Ji Yong can hear my voice. If I go to the airport with him, I don’t think I’d let him leave. Either I’d drag him back, or have a hysterical breakdown in front of every single person.

Ji Yong nods. “I love you. Don’t forget that.”

I bring my head up to look at him, trying to show all of my emotions through my eyes like it’s our last moment together. “I love you too, Kwon Ji Yong.”

“Ji Yong,” I say quietly, finally realizing that all those “dreams” that I was having before are just memories of him and I. How could I forget about Ji Yong, but remember our relationship? “I do remember you,” I add, and I can see a faint smile plastered on his lips. “I guess your dream came true since you’re famous now.”

Ji Yong chuckles lightly. “No, only part of my dream came true,” he tells me and I frown. I thought his “lifelong” dream was to become an entertainer so that he can share his lyrics with everyone. “I was supposed to be your husband, remember?” Ji Yong adds and I feel my cheeks heat up. He remembers that? “We were supposed to get married on the beach with all of our family.”

I grin. “I remember that . . .” I trail off until my mind finally processes what he means. “Wait, does this mean . . . ?”

He nods his head. “I want you to become my wife . . . but not yet if you’re not ready. I can wait,” Ji Yong sends me a boyish smile. “But if we have to wait, then you’re going to have to be my girlfriend all over again.”

I try to hide my smile, but I can’t help the huge smile that makes it way onto my face. I’m guessing that those same feelings that I had for Ji Yong before he left are still in me because I feel the butterflies taking over my stomach and my body temperature rising. “Yes,” I answer him, and for a second, we just stare at each other before we start to laugh. “I have a question,” I start after we’re finished laughing, “how did you know where I lived?”

Ji Yong looks a little embarrassed. “Well, Seungri is my friend and he told me everything you. And when I say everything, I mean everything.”

“He gave you my address?” I ask and Ji Yong nods while I groan. “I’m gonna kill him.”

“Yah, don’t kill him yet,” Ji Yong says. “He’s the one who brought us back together, right?”

I nod my head. “I guess I should be happy then, he brought you back to me,” I mumble before I feel my heart beating fast for no reason.

So this is how it feels to be in love again.