11:00 PM. Yeji asks herself why she chose to stay in the company building until this deep into the night.

She closes her eyes as she feels her back make contact with the cold practice room floor. A sigh escapes her lips as she feels her muscles go numb, the fatigue from hours of dancing finally seeping in. The music she was dancing to was already turned off and she hears the crickets sing outside. She hears the streets, the occasional cars passing by. She sees without looking that the outside world, normally bustling with chaos and disorder during the day, finally lays still. This part of the world was starting to sleep and yet she remains wide awake.

For the past 3 years, she danced because she loved the art of it. She loved drowning in waves of music that her body learned how to tame. She felt like if she didn’t dance, she’ll end up bursting from all the dreams buzzing inside of her frame, fighting to escape. It felt like being able to breathe.

But tonight, she danced to still her heart, thinking that maybe if her body kept up with its pace, she’ll stop feeling as anxious as she already was. Usually, this worked.

What was she nervous of anyways? They just celebrated 1000 days of being Itzy, everything was fine. She was finally seeing the dreams she nurtured inside of her come to life. It was supposed to feel fine, happy even. But it didn’t.

She thinks of the tale of Icarus, finally being able to fly away but crashing back down after the wax that kept his wings together melts from coming too close to the sun. She fears a crash, a fall from grace, broken dreams, fear.

She tries to reject these horrible things almost as fast as how she spurred them. Maybe she was just worried. Worried that the happiness she’s feeling will someday fade. Perhaps she was anxious about the future, not knowing what to expect, not knowing at all.

Sometimes, all she wishes is for her brain to leave her alone. At this point, she feels tears threatening to spill but she keeps it in, swallowing a big lump of nothing stuck in . She tries not to tremble.

Yeji stays on the floor, still trying to catch her breath. Her eyes stay closed, absorbing the unusual quietness around her, and wonders how the members are doing tonight, if they already got home safe from their schedules.

She thinks back on what Ryujin said in their celebration VLive about the monthly evaluations they used to go through and how they bawled their eyes out in the bathroom right after. Her lips slowly curl into a small smile thinking of freshly debuted Itzy. She thinks of her members and this is the first thing that makes her smile tonight. She thinks of Lia, Ryujin, Chaeryoung, Yuna, and this dream that brought them all together.

She thinks of Lia.

She thinks of Lia and her heart finally starts to slow down from all its running.

There is something sweet in the girl’s smile that just sticks to her mind like honey. She thinks of how the shorter girl fits perfectly in her arms whenever they cuddle on the dorm’s couch during their free days, the pretty face on her collarbones, the familiar warmth, the voice that just melts her, the hand that always searches for hers to hold and squeeze in crowds.

The anxiety presses down on her and Yeji feels herself slowly drifting to sleep. She should probably stop herself because she might catch a cold. She was still covered in sweat and the floor was still chilling her back after all. But she lets herself despite this because of how heavy she feels.

Suddenly, Yeji feels a cold, wet surface make its way to her forehead. With eyes still closed, her hand reaches up, and is surprised to find a bottle of something being gently pressed on her skin. The girl’s eyes slowly open to see what was going on.

She startles for a bit when she finds herself staring into Lia’s eyes instead of the ceiling. She was wearing a comfortable brown knit sweater and a slight pink tinges her cheeks. Yeji thinks Lia looked so, so soft even against the harsh lights of the room.

‘My angel, always with the best timing’ she thinks immediately.

“What are you doing here so late, unnie? And stop lying on the floor, it’s bad for your health”, Lia says while sitting on the floor beside the older girl.

Yeji does not find the strength to answer the younger’s queries. Instead, she just continues to search the bottle for Lia’s hand, holds it, and puts the bottle down on the floor. She doesn’t let go of Lia’s hand though. She squeezes it three times.

Hey. There. Angel.

I. Missed. You.

Happy. You’re. Here.

She hopes Lia can hear her silent message and its variations.

“Are you okay? You look exhausted.”

Lia must have noticed Yeji’s eyes that turned red from trying not to cry because she reached for the side of the leader’s face to caress it, concern washing over her expression.

Yeji leans into the touch, caves into it.

“Hey, you,” Yeji mumbles. “Why are you here and not at home?” For a second, she sees exhaustion flash through the other girl’s eyes.

Lia bends down and presses her forehead against Yeji’s, noses touching.

“I could ask you the same question, you know,” Lia says softly, a gentle smile now painting over her face. “I was just in the vocal room singing. I heard you dancing a little while ago and decided to wait for you outside. Then I heard the music stop but you didn’t leave the room, so I kinda got worried you died or something.”

Yeji frowns. “Why didn’t you come in earlier then?”

There was a short pause before Lia answered. “I knew you wanted to be alone for a while, Yeji-ah.”

Yeji feels Lia’s warm breath against her lips. She also notices the slight coarseness scratching at the other’s voice. ‘How long has this girl been singing for?’

Whatever it is, she was sure that it was for the same reason she stayed up so late to dance and tire herself.

Yeji doesn’t say anything because, from past occasions, she knows that this silence and their stares are enough to understand what each other was thinking of.

Instead, she allows herself to finally cry. Her tears are finally free to spill from her tired eyes, a mix of happy and sad ones. At Lia’s touch, she lets herself untangle from her thoughts and worries. The younger sits up again to look at the other’s eyes properly.

Lia’s hair curtains a part of her face as she looks down on Yeji. Strands of hair touch wet cheeks, the light from the ceiling just slightly pours through the gaps and Yeji thinks she is the most beautiful girl she’s ever seen. Lia softly kisses away Yeji’s tears and then gifts her with that signature honey smile that reaches her eyes, wrinkling their sides until sun rays form on her temples.

“Do you think we’ll be okay?” Yeji asks in the quietest voice as if scared that the empty room might hear her fear.

“I was asking myself that earlier and to be frank, I wasn’t sure what to answer.”

A pause surrounds the two of them before Lia continued.

“Then I heard your steps while practicing and thought to myself again, yeah, I think so. As long as I’m with you guys, I think we’ll get through another 1000 days just fine,” she adds while smiling.

“As long as I’m with you, I think I’ll get through just fine.” Lia says as she wipes away the last of Yeji’s tears.

Yeji feels that she might burn at this warmth she’s been given. ‘My sweet, sweet angel’, she thinks quietly to herself.

She thinks of Icarus and the sun again and she chuckles. She chuckles because she’s certain now that even if these wings of hers burn off, there will be no crashing down to earth, no plummeting to her demise, no fear—only Lia, lovely angel Lia. Because this girl is the sun that burns her, the wings that send her to flight, and the girl that kisses away her tears all at the same time.

She thinks for the first time tonight that maybe she was okay, that maybe there was nothing to worry about after all. She knows that some of her anxieties will stay and haunt her, but she sees Lia’s smile again and can’t help but feel that she’s safe from the bad things that bite at her.

Yeji intertwines Lia’s hand with hers and kisses them. She squeezes it three times.

I. Love. You.

This time, she says it aloud as well.

“Let’s go home now, Yeji-ah.”

And Yeji already is.