Dear Rosie, 

I don’t know why I am writing to you when you're about to get married in a few hours. To tell you the truth, I'm still in love with you and this time I am running away. I can't watch you get married to him. 

I know I promised you to be there but Rosie I can’t, if I do I would just be causing myself more pain. Do you remember the day when we first met, I was running late to my anatomy class when I bumped into you. When our eyes met I knew I was in trouble, from then on we started hanging out. 

We became friends fast, how could we not when we had everything in common except the fact that you came from a very influential family. I on the other hand had no family, I guess that’s one of the reasons why I fell for you. The people around you would always tell you that being my friend was not good for your image since you were the most popular person on the college campus. 

But you didn’t care that I could ruin your image, you still became my friend. Because of you, people started seeing me as Suzy and not as the new student who was nothing. I even made friends of my own, Hyeri and Jongsuk. They will be very mad at me after they find out I'm running away again. 

My whole life I had been running. Did you know that the first time was when I was kicked out of my foster parents' home after they discovered I liked girls. Ever since then I have been on my own until I moved to Seoul and found you. I was going to run away again and move away to New York to continue my studies there but you made Seoul university tolerable.

The one time I didn’t run away from was my feelings for you, do you remember when I confessed to you that was one of the scariest days in my life. Not knowing if you’ll feel the same way but I mustered the courage and told you how I felt. If I remember correctly It was December 18 I had sent you a text message saying to meet me at the Seoul tower. You told me you’ll meet me after your family dinner. I waited for you in the cold. If you had taken a little more time I would have been already frozen to death. Anyways, eventually, you showed I still remember what you were wearing. Can you believe that it’s been 12 years I still remember as if it was just yesterday. 

You were wearing double black sweatpants, two long sweatshirts, and on top of that along with a Saint Laurent coat with a black hat. I took one look at you and started laughing, you eventually found it funny and laughed as well. We walked for some time. Eventually, we were the only ones, you could tell I was nervous because the next thing I knew you were holding my hand. I liked the feeling my hand felt once it was wrapped around yours. I'm going to miss feeling your warmth. We were staring at Seoul’s night sky when I told you my feelings

“Rosie, I need to tell you something now. I don't want you to freak out but please hear me out before you leave.” 

“What is it Suzy…. Wait, you're not leaving are you.” 

“No i- am not.”

“I-- Umm I like you no I-- I love you and more than friends, I tried so hard to be normal and not fall for you. But it was impossible. I mean look at you who wouldn’t and it’s not just your looks it’s the way you care for others. You were there for me when no one else was, you brought me back to life, you made sure I was okay at all times. The way you love to help others when they have nothing and your smile once you realize you helped that person. The way you aren’t like your family and friends, you are the opposite of them. I could list all the reasons why I love you but we would be here forever.” 

“Can you please say something… I see well I won’t bother you anymore I’ll get going that was all” 

“Wait”

“Uhh what are you do---” 

You didn’t even let me finish my sentence, you grabbed my wrist, turned me around and kissed me passionately. That was my first kiss. I will treasure it for as long as I can, I had to stop you kissing me we were both running out of air. Once we composed ourselves you told me you felt the same way we went back to my apartment. I was scared at first and thought you were just playing with my feelings but that went away once you reassured me that you wouldn’t do anything to hurt me. 

We had to keep our relationship a secret because of your family, I didn’t at first but after you told me why I agreed. We were very good at keeping it a secret even after we graduated college. Your family and friends still didn’t know we were dating. 

During those four years we had ups and downs but we got through them. I think our relationship took a turn once you got into law school and I got into medical school. We were both very busy but even then I still made time to spend with you. You stopped showing up and that’s when I knew something was going on. So when I had a day off I went to your apartment, you let me in and that’s when everything went down. I still think if I hadn’t gone there we wouldn't have had that fight but not everything can be avoided. 

“Suzy, what are you doing here?” 

“You haven’t been answering my texts or phone calls. I wanted to make sure you were okay.” 

“Well now you see that I am, can you please leave.” 

“I'm sorry I don’t know what your problem but we should address it now that I am here, I know that being in your third year of law school is stressing but don’t you think I’m going through the same thing and you being this way won’t resolve that.” 

“It’s not just school Suzy, it's my parents. They found out about you and I and they don't approve of us. They want me to break up with you. I told them I won’t and they threw a fit about how I am supposed to keep the company's image clean. Can you believe that ....”

“You should have told me you don’t have to keep everything to yourself”

“I’m sorry it’s not that I didn’t want to tell you, it's just that you are very busy and I didn’t want to bother you but from now on I’ll tell you what’s happening.” 

And you did, we were fine until that car accident that left your family broken. Your older brother Jimin was coming to your graduation when he died due to a drunk driver hitting his car. He was the only one in your family who approved of us till this day. I'm grateful to him that he was always looking out for you. 

You got mad at me when I didn’t answer your phone calls but how could I when I was assisting on a surgery. When I found out through Hyeri I ran to you as fast as I could. I let you take your anger out on me, I still have the scar when you threw a cup and the glass pierced my skin. I never thought meeting your family like that especially in a funeral home

Do you want to know why I broke up with you in the first place and why I suddenly left the country after I was done with med school. It was a month after your brother’s funeral and your father came to me wanting to talk. 

“Suzy do you know this man is looking for you saying he needs to talk to you.” 

“Ah yes thank you, Jackson… What brings you here Mr.Park.” 

“I need you to break up with my daughter.” 

“I can’t do that, I love your daughter… If that’s all, would you please excuse me.” 

“How is your relationship with my daughter? I can see you guys haven’t been talking lately, did she tell you she has to take over my company now that her brother is no longer with us.” 

“No she didn’t but I'm sure she would have told me at some point, what’s your point here.” 

“My son was supposed to inherit the company but now that he’s well gone, It’s Chaeyoung and in order for her to do it she has to give heirs and you and her can’t possibly give me a grandson so you need to break up with her. In order for her to focus on the company and later find a suitable husband to give her children.

“You're also not suitable for this family, you have nothing to offer to my daughter. Do you think she’ll be able to live without what she has now. She wasn’t made for the life you grew up with, that's the life she’ll have if she chooses you because I will take everything from her. her inherits her title, her apartment everything she has ever owned. And for you I’ll make sure you have a hard time getting a job she will despise you, she will have a wish to listen to me. You know I did my research about you, Suzy you been an orphan since you were a baby, you been in and out of foster care you were kicked out after you came out--”

“Stop please--”

“But we're just getting started, moved to Seoul after graduating high school and getting accepted to Seoul university. But after being bullied decided to end her life, the day you met my daughter was the day you decided to live. You know I have always been watching my daughter and when I found out she was dating someone like you I let it be. I thought that she was going to have a fling with you but now it’s time for me to stop this.”

“How do you plan to do that? She won’t break up with me and I won’t do it either.” 

“You see her I know she hasn’t told you but you are suffocating her, I know my daughter and when I tell you she’s dying slowly. She doesn’t know what to do with you, she still believes she’s in love with you and won’t let you go. In reality she won’t let you go because you are the closest thing she has to normal life. She’s been doing this for almost a year now. You need to stop this.” 

“You're lying, she wouldn’t do that she promised me.” 

“Suzy promises are meant to be broken, besides you won’t be alone. I have the answer you have been searching for. I know where your birth mother is, can you believe your biological father sent you to an orphanage in the US, I would have never done such a thing. Your mother went there in search of you. She's been searching ever since. The thing is she doesn’t know that her daughter is in Korea.”

“Here in my tablet, you’ll see that she’s in her living room cooking for her other child. She remarried and had another child, your sister but even so she never stopped looking for you. I’ll give her a point for never giving up. Now what you need to do is break up with my daughter and my men will let her live if you don’t then her whole family will die including her in a horrible house fire.” 

That’s why I broke up with you. He threatened to kill my mother and her family. I didn’t want to do it but he left me no choice and once I did you looked as if a huge weight had been released. You did cry but was it because you still love me or was it because you knew you didn’t. 

It was hard for me to tell you I had fallen out of love with you, It broke my heart seeing you cry like that. I let you hit me, I let you yell at me for the sake of my mother. I did everything your father told me to do, it hurt me knowing he had the fate of ending the life of my mother. But I have the courage to let you know what he did since he passed away and I’m happy he did. 

When I broke up with you I made sure I had no reminder of you, I threw away all of your stuff and moved with my friends. My apartment had too many memories of you. I finished med school. Do you know what your father did, He sent me the flowers with the address of where my birth mother was. 

At that moment I wanted to run and kill him for making my life miserable, but I knew I couldn’t do that to you. You had already moved on from us and I knew I had to do the same our story had been over. I got on a plane and flew to LA to meet my mother.

She cried once she saw me, I wish you could have shared that moment with me. I had finally found a family who wasn’t going to leave me. I got a job offer at a Hospital and accepted it and I continue living my life. I tried dating but they never worked out. You were always on my mind. I wish you gave me a reason to move on as I did to you. I wished you dared to tell me you didn’t love me anymore, that I was suffocating you then maybe I would have been in a happy relationship like you. 

When you found me in LA walking my dog and approached me asking me how I was I wanted to laugh in your face but instead, I told you I was fine. We talked until sunset. You told me you would love to catch up more, I couldn’t say no to you so I agreed. I could never say no to you and I hated myself for being so weak when it comes to you. But I should've said no that this should be the last time we ever see each other. That would have saved me the pain I felt when you told me you were getting married to him. 

I saw how happy you were and it broke me. I realized your father got his wish of seeing you marry someone of your status and give you a family and a life I could never do. I do wish you happiness and If that’s not me I'm fine as long as you are happy. 

I know that I promise to be there at your wedding but what kind of person invites their ex-lover to their wedding. And what kind of person do you think I am to go to the wedding of the woman I still love. Chaeyoung I wish you happiness 

You're probably wondering why I am telling you our memories together, well I wanted one of us to keep our memories. That’s going to be you, you see the hospital where I am working has the technology to erase a person from your memories. They will erase you from my memories. I am the second test subject. I decided to go through this procedure to erase all the pain I have suffered. You are part of that pain. It was a hard decision but I just want you to know what I had to do for you to be happy. 

I told one of your best friends Lisa to give you this letter after you get married, by the time you get done reading this letter I would have already forgotten you. Please forgive me for doing this to us but I had to make sure I got my happy ending too. I want to be able to get married and have children the same thing you are doing. Don’t you think I deserve it after suffering so much. 

This is my goodbye letter to you and our memories together. I beg you don’t look for me, it will only cause you pain. If you see me one day pretend you don't know me, walk the other way it will be better for the both of us. Besides, you don’t love me anymore so you have no reason to speak to me. 

Thank you for making me happy live a good life 

Goodbye My Rosie