Do you believe in destiny? Or is it just a part of our mindset to think about it? Well Jinsoul doesn't even know, and she's scared of what to believe.

 

We all have that special someone who knows every little thing about us. Someone who knows when you're feeling a mix of emotions. And I'm lucky to have that special someone since my childhood.

 

Kim Jungeun, she's a tsundere best friend of mine. She knows everything about me, my likes, dislikes, crushes, dreams, goals, heartaches, but there's one thing she doesn't know - my first love. 

 

She knows all of my favorites, my weakest part, but not the one who is in my heart. I guess luck is on my side that she doesn't know it.

 

----

 

At the age of 7, we were playing in the swing, side-to-side, we talked about whatever crossed our minds. We were so young that we don't even care how we looked at that time, just two kids who were covered up in mud, with leaves on their hair, but paid no mind, just enjoying the talks they shared with each other.

 

"Hey Jindori, when we grow old let's come back here again every 6 years!" Jungeun said to her first best friend, Jung Jinsoul.

 

Jinsoul being the bubbly girl she is, reassured Jungeun that they will definitely come back here as she flashed her eye smile showing her dorky smile infront of Jungeun.

 

"Okay then, promise?" Jinsoul raised her pinky finger in front of Jungeun. Seeing this, Jungeun immediately sealed it with her little pinky finger while smiling widely.

 

"It's a promise!" Jungeun cheered which earned a smile from Jinsoul.

 

"Yah! Don't you dare show that smile of yours to others." Jungeun pouted. Jinsoul laughed at how Jungeun seems to be jealous at the thought of sharing that smile to others.

 

" Anyway, do you have your first love, Jindori?" Jungeun added as she played with her swing.

 

"Nope! I don't. We're still young. Mom said that love comes out when we are older." Jinsoul emphasized the "P" sound at nope.

 

And yes, Jinsoul doesn't have her first love, as they were still young.

 

 ----

 

Their moms were best friends since they were in high school up until the time when they have Jinsoul and Jungeun. There will always be a time where they were explaining how they are best friends since they were a toddler, and it seems like the two will follow their lead. 

 

The two knew each other very well,  Jungeun acts as her prince charming and savior whenever she needs someone or she is sad. Jinsoul is 2 years older than Jungeun but they act the opposite. That's what Jinsoul loves from Jungeun, she cares a lot.

 

----

 

At the age of 13, they were on the same swing again after 6 years just like how they promised to each other. As usual, they chat about everything like they didn't see each other for a long time where in fact they are always classmates in their school. Many students admire their friendship which is still strong. The two cannot be separated from each other.

 

And like a routine, Jungeun unconsciously asks her again.

 

"Sol, do you have your first love?" and Jinsoul still answers,

 

"No, Jungie. I don't find any guys attractive and my type in our school." which earned a nod from Jungeun and they just talked as usual again.

 

Jinsoul stared blankly in front of her and she knew that Jungeun knew something was up. But as caring as Jungeun, she knows she needs to give some space for Jinsoul. She will talk it out when she's ready, and Jungeun will always wait for her.

 

And yes, Jinsoul doesn't have her first love, as she isn't interested in guys in their school. 

 

---- 

 

They are now about to graduate in high school and are preparing for college. Jungeun wants to be a doctor in Paris and Jinsoul wants to be an actress in Korea. 

 

Finals are ending so students are happy and excited as they will enjoy their vacation before going to college.

 

The best friends haven't hung out for a while as they have different schedules, classes and free time. Jinsoul misses Jungeun so much, what more in college where they will be separated for a long time?

 

But what matters today is not because they officially ended their finals, but the thought of that it has been 6 years since they met at their favorite spot, so Jinsoul is excited to be with Jungeun at their favorite hang out.

 

Jinsoul, as Jungeun predicted, came out to her when she rejected this boy in their higher class. And Jinsoul soon came to know Jungeun's uality too but it doesn't make their interactions awkward, that's what they thought.

 

At the age of 19, Jinsoul is on her spot on the swing, excitement is evident on her face and she is skipping on every step, jumping like a kid even though she is an adult.

 

They were meeting at their spot for every 6 years at 4pm. Jinsoul reached the spot 10 minutes late so she is expecting Jungeun to be there. Jungeun is never late

when it comes to call time.

 

But the spot is still empty so she thought that maybe Jungeun had a long time finishing her exams even though examinations ended at 3:30pm. So she just waits for Jungeun to come.

 

15 minutes....

 

20 minutes....

 

30 minutes....

 

55 minutes....

 

Jinsoul stays still, waiting for her best friend to come. Suddenly, her stomach growls, she remembered that she skipped lunch because of her excitement. 

 

She glanced at her phone with a photo of her and Jungeun as her wallpaper, and noticed that it's already quarter to 6. She decided on calling Jungeun but her phone is out of service.

 

She already waited for about 2 hours, you can call her crazy but instead of getting angry, she worries about Jungeun. Though she can't deny that something in her heart broke upon realizing that she's alone in their spot.

 

Getting worried at Jungeun and curious on why she is super super late, she dialed Jiwoo's number, a classmate of Jungeun who immediately picked up, noises and loud music can be heard on the other line.

 

"Hello?" Jiwoo said.

 

"Hello Jiwoo, this is Jinsoul."

 

"Oh, it's Jungie's bestie! What can I help you with?"

 

"Did you see Jungeun? We were supposed to meet up today but she didn't show up."

 

"Jungeun? Hmmm wait--- Oh! She's here pretty drunk and partying."

 

"Partying?"

 

"Yes, uhhm, she didn't tell you? We planned this before to have a party after the finals. We're here at Haseul's! You can come and join us!"

 

"Oh really? And no she didn't. Anyway, thank you Jiwoo, I don't think I can go there. I suddenly don't feel well." 

 

"Oh, are you okay? Do you want me to tell Jungeun?" Jiwoo worriedly asked.

 

"No, no. I'm fine don't worry! Just don't tell Jungie. Oh! Also, please make sure she gets home safely."

 

With that said, Jinsoul hung up. There is some heavy feeling in her chest, HURT . She doesn't feel well by that thought and all she just wants is to lay on her bed and cry.

 

"Hey Jindori, when we grow old let's come back here again every 6 years!" Jungeun said to her first best friend, Jung Jinsoul.

 

It's already 6 years since we last met here.

 

"Okay then, promise?" Jinsoul raised her pinky finger in front of Jungeun. Seeing this, Jungeun immediately sealed it with her little pinky finger while smiling widely.

 

We really did this pinky promise, huh?

 

"It's a promise!" Jungeun cheered which earned a smile from Jinsoul.

 

What happened with your promise, Jungie? 

 

Jungeun never broke a promise not until now. Her best friend who she loves broke a promise.

 

Promises don't have to be kept. They are just there to make us feel better. She remembered that thought.

 

Did you mean that promise? Or you just did that to make me feel better? 

 

Why am I crying?

 

Why did I have to feel this way? 

 

I'm here crying and you're there partying, i'm pathetic for love, huh. She chuckled at the thought.

 

And yes, Jinsoul realized her first love, it's Jungeun, her best friend.

 

A cliche story as it seems but yes, a best friend falling for the other. She doesn't know when it started, is it when Jungeun protected her against the girl who told her she's a nerd? Or when she won her a owl plushie saying that it will protect her when Jungeun's not around? She doesn't know. She just felt it. She just... knew.

 

The reason she is excited was because she's going to answer now the question Jungeun always asks whenever they go here, but she didn't show up. 

 

Can she tell her that even when it is not their tradition? Or she'll hopelessly wait for another 6 years to pass hoping that no one owns Jungeun's heart yet?

 

-----

 

Time flies so fast and they are now in their second year of college. The two don't talk to each other that much ever since then. After that party, Jinsoul tried hard to ignore her feelings but she didn't realize that she's slowly ignoring Jungeun too.

 

Jungeun even tried to search for her every time but Jinsoul seems to be a professional when it comes to hiding. And by then, slowly, and surprisingly, their friendship started to fall apart after the confrontation.

 

Jinsoul looked left and right to check if the hallway was Jungeun-clear. She's getting better at this and somehow knows when or where Jungeun will show up so she can avoid her. 

 

But luck seems not on her side today when in the moment she turned to her locker, the reason why she's hiding is leaning over her locker, arms crossed and is now sending a glare at her.

 

I can't back out now, just a few minutes, Soul, you can do this. Jinsoul sighed

 

She went to her locker and put her things inside trying her best to still ignore Jungeun.

 

"You're not planning to talk to me? Or even look at me?" Jungeun asked. 

 

Jinsoul keep on fixing her things inside her locker when suddenly Jungeun pulled her hands out and closed the locker.

 

"What?!" Jinsoul shouted. She didn't mean to, she just wanted to finish all of these and get her heart checked with how fast it beats.

 

"Oh, so you're the angry one now? What did I do?" Jungeun raised her voice slightly. She doesn't want to snap in front of her best friend, if she is still hers.

 

"What did you do? Ha! You're seriously asking me that? Then why don't you go back to that party you went at right after your exam!!" Jinsoul can't take it anymore. She needs to release all these emotions she hid.

 

"Jungeun, I waited for how many hours in our spot! And I get worried for nothing. You don't know how excited I am to meet you there because we don't have time for the both of us anymore." Jinsoul said.

 

"I'm s-"

 

"No, let me finish this. Don't apologize for your mistake when you know that it will be done again. We promised each other, I know it seems childish but Jungeun, I cared about that promise. I know you're holding on those other promises, you didn't even manage to break one. And when you do, it's the most important one? Tell me Jungeun, did you even think about me when you're at the party?" Jinsoul said everything she wants, and now her eyes are getting blurry because of her tears. 

 

Jungeun is not looking at her anymore. Her eyes are full of guilt and sorrow. Jinsoul's heart hurt because of this but she stopped herself to do what she wanted to do.

 

"I- I'm sorry. I know I made a mistake for that and I'm still guilty about that. I didn't mean to make you feel like that. I I don't know what to say, Sol. I'm sorry, i'm sorry." Jungeun kneeled down while crying. Jinsoul decided that she needs to end this for the both of them.

 

Jinsoul sat down to level Jungeun's position. She lightly pats the other's hair to calm her down.

 

"Jungeun, I know you mean it. But I know, rather, we know that there are other people who suddenly spent up our lives during the days where we are not together and I can't stop you with it. Every single time we spent together is magical and unforgettable for me please know that. But it seems like we already need to be independent now, aren't we?" Jinsoul said while looking at the puffy eyes of Jungeun.

 

"What are you trying to say, Sol?" Jungeun asked.

 

"Jungie, I'm letting you go now. Enjoy your life, but remember not to break promises from your new friends, huh? I'm not mad anymore. Let's do our best, shall we?" Jinsoul somehow managed to say without cracking up. For one last time, she looks at Jungeun lovingly. 

 

I hope you'll be happy from now on. You grew up beautifully, and I'm happy that I got to witness it. Someone is so lucky to have you, and sadly that someone is not me anymore . 

 

She patted Jungeun's hair for the last time before inching closer to her face, and pecked Jungeun's forehead.

 

"Goodbye, Jungie!" She stood up, and gave Jungeun the dorky smile she's just showing to Jungeun. With that said, she turned around and forced herself to go home. She tried hard to ignore the sobbing girl who is calling for her name.

 

Maybe some other time, we can meet and not be separated again.

 

For the rest of their college year, instead of the usual Jungeun and Jinsoul, other students grew to witness Jiwoo and Jungeun, and Jinsoul and Haseul. All students don't have any idea what happened and they pretended not to care anymore.

 

They finished their college degree in a span of time, and Jungeun went to Paris while Jinsoul stayed in Korea. The internet is the only way Jinsoul gets updated to her best friend. 

 

She may ignore Jungeun for the rest of their college years but her heart doesn't want to let go of her Jungie. Although she tried hard with the help of Haseul setting her up with other girls, she knew no one could top up her Jungeun, though she's not even her's. Her heart yearns for her more.

 

Jinsoul misses Jungeun very much.

 

I wonder if she misses me too

 

I wonder if she is thinking of me too...

 

But how can Jinsoul know that when the time and distance drove them apart?

 

----

 

Another year had passed. Jinsoul is restless because only a few years left and they will meet again, if Jungeun will still go at their spot.  She knew she needs to let her go already, but her heart doesn't want to stop to think that maybe, just maybe, Jungeun still wants to meet her.

 

Maybe at that time she can confess her love already. Missing Jungeun, she opened her Instagram and looked for Jungeun's account.

 

Seeing Jungeun's update made her heart stop. The smile on her face disappeared.

 

She just saw a photo of Jungeun with another girl who's tag as @hagsooyoung , who is kissing her cheek and with a caption of " Destined ❤️ "

 

Jinsoul is broken-hearted, maybe she expected too much.

 

Did I just wait for her for a long time just to see her (even not in person) with another girl? Should I set her free and forget who my first love is? For real, this time?

 

With that, they completely lost their communication. Jinsoul felt sorry for her heart because of the feelings she stored. 

 

She is hurt knowing that her first love has her own too. But after a long time of this pain, she let go of that feeling and tried to make her heart open again, remember, tried.

 

---

 

Three years have passed since her first heartbreak and now she is one of the famous actress in Korea. Even though she just started, she suddenly blooms among all which gained such attention to everyone.

 

Today, she was given a day-off from her company and manager due to her hard work. She visited her home, and everyone and now, she is driving to her memory lane and leads towards her favorite swing, before.

 

She's not thinking of anything related to her but suddenly she ended up driving here. She decided to give up on turning back because she just wanted to see their favorite spot's progress. 

 

It's been a long time since she last went here. Also a very very long time since they both went here. She really needs to let go of her past.

 

After this, she had a plan with her friends in high school to gather up. As she is near on the swing, she noticed someone already took her place and she pouts because of that spot stealer but she still continues to walk over there as there are still vacant spots beside her spot.

 

She is now in front of the swing, getting ready to sit on the swing, the girl who stole her spot turned around to face the newcomer. This made Jinsoul's heart to stop as her mind suddenly stops functioning.

 

She can't believe what she is seeing right now. Is she dreaming? Because if not, how come she's here?

 

The woman whom she waited for too long before, her best friend, can she even still call her that? 

 

In front of her is the woman who broke her heart unknowingly, her first love, none other than Kim Jungeun who is now shyly smiling at her after she recovered from her shock.

 

And then it hit her, 6 years had passed since she waited here for nothing. How come she forgot that? And now Jungeun is here in their spot, holding a rose and a fish stuffed toy which is her favorite one that she talked about in her interview when she started in acting. Plus that stuffed toy is the one they're eager to get when they are still young.

 

Is she really ready to let go of Jungeun? Or is this a sign for something she really wants to believe at?

 

Are they really destined?

 

Is Jinsoul destined to let go of Jungeun? Or she is destined to fight for her feelings and hold on?