Wednesday, February 13, 2019

 

 

I want to write about her.

 

I know this will be a cringey one (apologies to this carton I'm writing on) when I read this later in the future, but maybe what's more important is what am I feeling at this moment right?

 

 

Right.

 

 

Last night I remember my mom was watching something and I learned that attraction is not a choice because you will know or felt it when you laid your eyes on someone.

 

 

And I questioned, is this really an attraction? 

 

 

Am I really attracted to her?

 

 

Or is this just a Big Fat Crush that will fade later on once she was gone?

 

 

But really, if I'm attracted then is it possible that I'm the only one who is attracted?

 

 

A one-sided?

 

 

 

I thought of the reasons why am I so into her.

 

 

She is so pretty. Like, so soooo pretty.

 

 

And cute.

 

 

I honestly seldom like pretty girls because it is a known fact that they are way out of my league or rather, I'm out of their league. (So yeah you could say my type is in under a cute category, because coincidentally all of my crushes are cute and tiny, no offense.)

 

But when it comes to her.. I don't know.

 

There's something about her that made me think about her all day like its a natural thing to do, and gush how pretty she is.

 

 

Another thing is her smile.

She was in another level of pretty, almost like a goddess, when her lips turned upwards especially when it reached her eyes.

That really almost took my soul away. Well, it will surely happen when that gesture was directed to me.

 

 

Her side profile.

 

 

Her face.

 

 

Her hair.

Ghad seriously her waist-length hair definitely complimented her face well.

 

 

Her laugh.

 

 

Her pout.

Dear heavens her pout is one of the rarest gem I've ever seen to her. And I saw it upclose yesterday when we were in the bus, where there's a person sitting between her and I. We were on our way home and it was traffic.

 

 

Wait I think I'm starting to be a creep. Hell no that wasn't my intention.

 

 

Those were all just a physical traits that i adored so much, but in a deep sense, I really wanted to know more about her mentally and emotionally.

So I ask some questions. Being a private person she is, there is no way I could get to know her if I wait for her to share something to me first. So I initiated, even if it means I'm going out on one of my comfort zone just to get through her.

And hopefully, with patience and effort and understanding, she will be the one who will willingly to open up to me.

 

 

As of now, I could safe to say that there was a progress made, and I could also say our interactions are better than past few awkward months.

One of it was calling my name whenever we passed by each other along the hallways. Then she's starting to ask some questions to prolong our conversation while on our way home.

 

 

But again, hopefully everything will be improved more.

 

 

On a side note, through my observation (in my defense I always pay attention when it comes to her) and a little bit of lurking at her social profiles (lol you got to make a move on other way sometimes), she is a homebody.

She's more close to her family and relatives more than her friends.

At school, maybe because we have different schedules except for lunchtime were all of our friends are completely gathered (to be clear we have different group of friends who somehow linked together after our professor grouped us for all activities the whole semester), she doesn't saw much by other people.

She's also not much into reading messages. I remember finding myself dissapointed looking at our chatbox full of unseen messages from mine.

 

 

I understand.