he couldn’t get close, not after what happened last time, so she left soon after Tzuyu gave her the slice and after they both exchanged a slurry of apologies and thank you’s.

 

Chaeyoung felt a twinge of guilt for taking the bread and leaving so soon. It was stupid to think that, it was just a slice of bread, she knew. But it felt as if she was taking something from her home for a simple task, taking something from her home when she was just thinking negatively of her friends. And maybe a bit negatively of her. She’d like to think that one of her many apologies had been for her thoughts and she’d never had to tell the girl, but she couldn’t, it felt wrong.

 

Truth be told, Chaeyoung wouldn’t have a problem with Tzuyu’s stares if she was 100% certain that there wasn’t any malice behind them, but after today she wasn’t sure if Tzuyu could hold malice after her offering food and money to Chaeyoung for the simple act of bringing her dog home. 

 

Whoever said that dogs resemble their owners was right, she decided. 

 

 Tzuyu had subverted her expectations. Maybe she’d just live with the tiny bit of guilt and forget any of this ever happened, maybe Tzuyu could forget that this ever happened. 

 

She twisted her key in the lock then opened the door to her shared home, kicking her shoes off at the entrance. Boo and Dobby immediately came to her, sniffing her shoes and pants. She knelt down. “Smell a friend?” She asked, ruffling his fur.

 

“What friend, were you playing with the strays again?” Momo had appeared seemingly out of nowhere, startling her and making her lose her balance, her rear ended up on the floor. 

 

“It doesn’t matter if they’re cute, Chae, they could bite.” Jeongyeon chimed in, her arms crossed over her chest standing next to her wife. 

 

She shook her head, her hands moving behind her on the floor to hold her up. Boo and Dobby had moved to sniffing her shirt. “He wasn’t a stray,” She started. “Lost dog, I returned him.”

 

“Well did you know he was a lost dog at first sight?”

 

Dammit, they’re good. 

 

“He’s a pomeranian! What’s he gonna do?” Her hands waved around for emphasis. 

 

Seriously, he wore out as soon as he got into Tzuyu’s arms, damn near fell asleep.

 

“They have teeth too, .”

 

“They also have cute big eyes and soft fluffy fur, but you’re just ignoring those aspects.”

 

“Why is she here again?” Momo asked before Jeongyeon flicked her in the forehead.

 

Chaeyoung got up, she was hungry so she headed toward the kitchen that was less than ten feet away from her in the small apartment. “You know you love me.” She replied, grabbing a chobani flip from the fridge. The bread was good, very good, but it didn’t fill her up. She hadn’t eaten since lunch and even that had been just an apple, her stomach had been screaming at her all day. 

 

“So, how’d your test go?” Jeongyeon asked. She asked the one question Chaeyoung didn’t want to hear. 

 

She’d completely neglected her test. 

 

The spoon stopped mixing. She stared down knowing the argument that would follow. 

 

“Chaeyoung, we’ve talked about this.” Her sister sighed, Chaeyoung could imagine her palming her forehead. She couldn’t see her, she didn’t want to. She didn’t want to see Jeongyeon being disappointed in her once again. 

 

“Listen-”
 

“No, I won't listen this time!” She barked, the sound hitting all corners of the room. “I know damn well you didn’t forget that easily, we went through this over and over again since the moment you knew you had a test! Don’t pull this on me again!” She could hear Momo whispering to her, maybe trying to calm her down. She’d always been the damage control. 

 

She stayed facing the counter, looking at them would make it hit harder. “I’ll try harder next time, I swear.” She got out, her voice quiet and restricted. Being vulnerable made her feel out of control, she wouldn’t cry and give that shred up. 

 

Jeongyeon let out a bitter laugh, her steps resonated throughout the close walls of the apartment. “You say that every time and you never do. Why do you expect me to trust you with this?”

 

Each word hit like a punch in the stomach. It was her fault, no one else’s. She didn’t study, she ditched class, when she did attend she didn’t pay attention, she had Ds and Fs in nearly every class. It was a wonder she wasn’t expelled. 

 

It hurt all the more when she had no excuses.

 

They’d been tense for a long time up until now, it was only a matter of time before one of them snapped. 

 

“Nothing works, Jeongyeon-” She pushed past a breath clogged in . “I’m a ing idiot, you know this.”

 

“You’re not an idiot,” She paused for a moment, trying to find words to match her thoughts. “I’d like to get you formally diagnosed and get you help and possibly medication, but it’ll take time, Chae. I know you want it too but we don’t have much money right now.” The anger had mostly dissipated from her voice as her sister’s self-consciousness had always been a soft spot for her, she knew she was probably going to get apology pens later. 

 

She knew they didn’t have money, they’d never really had money from the point that they were kids to the point where Chaeyoung got kicked out. Always struggling for something had become a familiar feeling to her. Struggling for food, struggling for lights, for warmth, for love. Not struggling to her was more of a call for concern than being completely comfortable.  

 

Chaeyoung’s head had taken to resting in her hands with her elbows supporting them on the counter. She was stupid. It didn’t matter that she most likely had ADHD, there were plenty of people with ADHD who were smart, like Dahyun. Chaeyoung wasn’t blessed with that ability. Dahyun excelled in school even before she started going to therapy and eventually got prescribed some stimulants. 

 

“I’ve read up a lot on this, Chaeyoung. I want to help you.” A sigh escaped Jeongyeon’s lips as she came to stand next to Chaeyoung. “There’s a lot of people with ADHD who find it easier to complete tasks when there’s someone around them. I think that it would help a lot if you got a study buddy, of sorts.”

 

“It would be better if you just at least tried,” She sighed as she continued. “If you went to class and got the same grades as you are right now then we’d accept it and help you get through it, but you’re not trying, Chaeyoung, and that’s a problem.”

 

“I want you to be successful, I don’t want you to make the same mistakes that I did. It’s hard to even put food on the table in this place and I got my high-school diploma. There’s not even a lot of well-paying jobs right now that you can get without one.”

 

She bit her lip, drawing her eyebrows together. There was no way she was going to graduate on time with the grades she’s pulling. When you spend all your life struggling for money there really doesn’t seem to be a world where you’re not. 

 

Her sister patted her back and Chaeyoung looked at her for the first time since the conversation started, she was sure if she caught her earlier she’d be a lot more intimidating than she was now. Now, she just looked defeated, and Chaeyoung felt horrible. 

 

“Think about it.” She said before she left.

 

So Chaeyoung did, and subsequently forgot about her food. 

 

Tzuyu brought two homemade lunches today, one for her and one for Chaeyoung. She’d noticed that Chaeyoung didn’t eat much during lunch, so she brought it upon herself to pack another lunch that also served as a thank you for bringing back Gucci. She’d packed practically the same lunch for each of them aside from the extra vegetables on Chaeyoung’s plate, she figured the girl liked her produce, her arms had multiple drawings of them. 

 

She found Chaeyoung looking at her in the hallways this time instead of the other way around. Of course, Sana noticed, teasing her about it relentlessly then continuing to after she found out that Tzuyu had made them matching lunches. “ How are you so smart but so stupid?” She teased, but Tzuyu didn’t respond.

 

There could be a completely ordinary reason as to why Chaeyoung was switching the roles today, perhaps Chaeyoung was just noticing her more since she’d seen Tzuyu hysterically crying the day before, yes that must be the reason. She still found herself looking when Chaeyoung wasn’t though. 

 

It was nothing more than platonic, she thought. 

 

“What’re you gonna do if she already has a full meal?” Sana asked. “Can I have it? You’re a better cook than my mom.”

 

“She never gets a full meal, you can come over for dinner on Saturday if you want my cooking that bad.” She offered.

 

“Really?” Sana’s head perked up, she looked up at Tzuyu, a glint in her eye. 

 

She smiled down at her friend. “Stay over too if you want, we can have a Sailor Moon marathon.”

 

She let out an overly dramatic gasp, shaking her hands in front of her as they made their way to their last class before lunch. Sana was always more animated than others. Tzuyu loved that about her, it was miles easier to tell what Sana was feeling compared to the other people around her. She’d found that people tended to speak in pseudo-riddles and looks that she couldn’t decipher, which was far too inconvenient for Tzuyu. Sana put her emotions front and center for everyone to see.

 

They bid each other goodbye before entering their respective classes. Chemistry, she hated everything about this class, she in a breath of the last bit of clean air she would get for the next forty-five minutes. 

 

She reluctantly stepped in, clutching her fists around nothing while trying to avoid stimming. Some of the squad shared this class with her, they’d certainly get on her for it later if she did. The harsh smell of chemicals instantly began to manifest in a headache, that and the bright fluorescent lights.  She could already hear them talking about her, she wasn’t wearing her earphones since she only really wore them during lunch. Their whispers carried throughout the entire room, though it seemed they didn’t know that. Either that or they didn’t care if she heard. If everybody heard. 

 

‘Look at her, she’s about to do it.’

 

‘She shakes her hands like she’s shaking water off of them sometimes, I’m telling you she’s weird.’

 

‘Who even let her on the squad?’

 

‘She’s so mentally deficient that every time someone makes a joke even a ing child could catch she has to ask what you meant by that. I just don’t make jokes around her anymore, it’s easier that way’

 

She was used to it, even back in Taiwan she was used to it. Though it seems that when you’re in the spotlight it gets so much worse. It’s not like the entire school picked on her, the insults and rude comments stayed contained to the cheer squad, they acted like they were friends with her in public then went and made fun of her mannerisms in private. They liked to do it in front of her face, they probably thought she couldn’t understand when they were insulting her, she thought. She did understand, she understood all of it.

 

She took her seat in one of the many uncomfortable metal chairs, trying her hardest to not scrape it on the ground. Tzuyu silently thanked herself that she wore long pants today instead of her cheer uniform (There wasn’t really a reason to wear it today, practice wasn’t on Thursdays). The cold metal against her thighs would have certainly sent her into an even more uncomfortable situation than she already was.

 

She tapped her hands on her thighs under the table as she was trying to get it out of her system without raising suspicion. She savored every blink she got as it meant not seeing those headache-inducing fluorescents and tried her hardest to push through the class even with the smell invading her nostrils.

 

She could barely focus the entire class.

 

The day had taken a rough turn, she could admit, but she was highly looking forward to giving Chaeyoung her lunch, the lunch that she’d made by hand with thought and care. She’d made other people's food before, but this time was different. The smiling tugging on the corner of her lips as she brought the second container out solidified that. 

 

Chaeyoung’s eyes followed her as she walked towards her, the container in hand. Confusion obviously marred her face, she was like Sana in that way but toned down. 

 

She hoped Chaeyoung wasn’t allergic to anything, she hadn’t really thought of that. 

 

“This is for bringing home Gucci.” She said, setting the food down gently in front of her and taking off the top, a pair of chopsticks lay next to the vegetables which were covered in a savory sauce. 

 

“Gucci?” Chaeyoung’s friend asked, her eyebrows turned up and eyes looking between her and Chaeyoung. 

 

“My dog.” She answered. 

“You didn’t have to do this…” Chaeyoung spoke. “It wasn’t hard for me to get him back, I promise.”

 

“I didn’t do it because I felt I had to, I made you this because I wanted to.”

 

“You made this yourself?”

 

“I make most of my food myself.” It was easier that way, she knew exactly what was going on so it was less likely for something unexpected to come up. Her mom did cook dinner though, it wasn’t like Tzuyu was barring everyone else out of her kitchen. She just preferred to make her personal meals, like lunches and breakfast.

 

Chaeyoung stuck her tongue between her lips like she was thinking, eyes focused on the floor. Tzuyu took it that the conversation was over, so she turned around to go back to Sana and the other members of the cheer squad. 

Then she felt a cold hand grab her wrist. She whipped her head around, Chaeyoung was looking up at her with pleading eyes. “I need to ask you something.” She nearly whispered, her hand still around Tzuyu’s wrist. Chaeyoung got up and walked Tzuyu outside of the cafeteria, neglecting their lunches. 

 

“What is it?” Tzuyu asked, she was wholly confused. Chaeyoung had never really shown any interest in her.

 

“You’re smart aren’t you?” She asked, a slight waver in her voice.

 

It dawned on her that she’d never actually seen Chaeyoung nervous. She always exuded an air of confidence around her, but now her eyes were darting around the hall, meeting everything but Tzuyu.

 

Tzuyu shrugged. She had good grades, for the most part. “Everything but chem, why?” She asked, curiosity getting to her. She was okay at chemistry homework that she did in the comfort of her own room or most things written for that matter. But the actual classroom stank, it was cold and bright and she didn’t like it, not one bit. She was allowed her earbuds during tests so for that she could thank them, but she wasn’t allowed them during practically any other time of the school day except lunch. 

 

Chaeyoung twisted the ring on her thumb, Tzuyu’s eyes focused on the flower drawings she’d never noticed on her fingers. She was half tempted to ask how long it took for her to do them, or how she got them to not fade, but she didn’t. She pushed the thought that suggested that they were real tattoos down, Chaeyoung was seventeen, there was no way. 

 

“God, this is stupid,” She breathed, running her hands through her blonde hair. “It’s just… I need someone to study with me, not like a tutoring thing, just being present while I’m trying to jam stuff in my brain, you know?” 

 

Tzuyu hummed, thinking of free dates in her head. “Are you free tonight?” Better sooner than later, she thought. 

 

“Tonight? I don’t have anything going on.”
 

“You can come home with me with my chauffeur, we can do it after school, is that okay?” She asked. Tomorrow she had cheer practice, the day after was her and Sana’s day, and after that, she was going shopping with her mom because some of the cheerleaders had ‘accidentally’ pushed her in the mud and she needed to replace those clothes. She was quite literally booked for the week. 

 

The short girl’s face had turned into one of near bewilderment. Based on her nervous actions leading up to the simple question she could tell that Chaeyoung probably wasn’t expecting such an easy ‘yes’ from Tzuyu.

 

She shook her head, bringing herself out of it. “Meet you there, I guess.”

 

Tzuyu wished she hung out with Sana more outside of school, but unfortunately, Sana had been on practical ‘study lockdown’ by her parents for the past two weeks, only free on weekends.

 

Chaeyoung had been hesitant to get in the car at first, saying how she could just walk or ask her sister for a ride. This way was safer and faster, she insisted. It didn’t take much convincing for her to get in the back seat along with Tzuyu. She would have felt uncomfortable sitting in the front with Chaeyoung all alone in the back. 

 

The car had been unusually silent yet again but at least Tzuyu knew why this time. Ken was quiet because he knew Tzuyu didn’t want to infodump with someone else in the car beside them and the two in the back were quiet because they didn’t know each other and presumably didn’t share any common interests. Chaeyoung had thanked her for the lunch, though. 

 

“What music do you listen to?” Chaeyoung suddenly asked, catching Tzuyu a little bit off guard. It was reasonable, they hadn’t spoken up until this point. 

 

“I like Yerin Baek, Day6, a bit of Taylor Swift.” She replied, keeping her answer brief as she didn’t feel the need to go in-depth. She didn’t think the blonde was that interested, really. Maybe she just wanted to break the slightly uncomfortable silence that was surrounding them.

 

Her eyes had been set outside of the window the entire ride, seeing them wind through the familiar streets as they were brought closer to their destination. It only left now to look at the other, she was sort of closed in on herself and doing the exact same thing Tzuyu had been doing. was held open in a slight part, her face illuminated by the sunlight with her forehead resting on the window. Her hair framed her face perfectly, Tzuyu thought. She couldn’t help herself from looking. Her strong yet soft features pulled her in like the opposite ends of magnets. 

 

It stopped when Chaeyoung looked back at her. Tzuyu immediately averted her eyes and continued her focus outside as she felt her heart jump in her chest. This had been a routine of sorts, Tzuyu looked then Chaeyoung looked back and Tzuyu stopped. This had never happened before, her heart had never sped up like that. It couldn’t be the proximity, she reasoned, she’d just been close to Chaeyoung twice and her muscle had been completely fine. Why now? 

 

She attempted to calm down her racing heart, she drummed her fingers silently on her leg. Chaeyoung wasn’t even looking at her anymore, why is it still racing? She couldn’t look back at her no matter how bad she wanted to see her face as she’d seen it before. She’d only ever really seen her face in the white lights of the school and through teary eyes, this was a new level of Chaeyoung she’d never seen before. She was afraid that if she looked again then her heart would beat right out of her chest.

 

But she couldn’t shake the unmistakable feeling of eyes on the side of her head for the rest of the ride.