TRIGGER WARNING: blood.

 

 

The first time Minjeong had felt the blooming sensation on her chest, it wasn’t entirely unpleasant. At first, it surprised her a bit because the foreign, weird yet tingly feeling intensified in her chest out of blue one peaceful afternoon when she was in the library. The tingly sensation blossomed at the very center of her heart, eventually crawling around her chest like unattended, slithering vines on old cracked walls of an abandoned mansion. It stayed like that until it suddenly burned in a harmless way.

 

But when she looked up from her book in alarm, and her eyes darted on the person in front of her — suddenly, her chest exploded with something. It felt like there were blossomed flowers filling her chest, shimmering, and tingling Minjeong’s heart a bit.

 

Minjeong was frozen that moment, her eyes wide as they never left to stare at the woman across the table, peacefully reading the book of her choice that time — Unexplainable Rare Conditions of Humans, the Third Edition — a medical book about rare illness some people got which couldn’t be explained thoroughly, as if it was magical. Minjeong knew that book very well because Jimin loved reading those kinds of books. It was rather intriguing, and the older woman wanted to take up Medicine once they entered college next year so she was gathering knowledge about medical stuff.

 

Her breath hitched once she saw Jimin reaching for the stray hair covering her face, tucking it on the back of her ear with a slight frown on her face because it was distracting her. The afternoon sunlight was hitting Jimin’s soft features, making the latter glow even more. And suddenly, it felt like a small, soft thing entered her lungs, stuck, and Minjeong’s breathing got even ragged as the blossoming sensation in her chest got stronger as she gaped more.

 

“Are you okay?” Jimin’s soft, melodic voice entered Minjeong’s ears, and flowers exploded within her, snapping her back to reality, shaking her head a bit to collect herself.

 

The corner of Minjeong’s lips tugged upwards, giving Jimin a crooked smile as she pushed back the thoughts forming to the back of her head, and ignored the flowery feeling rumbling in her chest. “Yes.” answered Minjeong, and she chuckled when Jimin’s worried expression on her face didn’t fade, eyeing her best friend closely.

 

A hum came from Jimin’s throat, and Minjeong shivered at the sound, her gaze following Jimin as she fixed her eyes on the book again.

 

All of a sudden, the flowery and tingly sensation in her chest and heart subsided bit by bit. Minjeong was left dumbfounded, clutching her chest gently as she almost got drowned by her thoughts. She shook it off, shrugging that maybe it was just normal, the feeling was away now anyway.

 

It would never happen again.

 

***

 

But it did.

 

The next time it happened, she was with Jimin again — strolling around the mall, having fun after their exhausting exams. They didn’t get to see each other much these past few days because they were studying like crazy for the midterms but now that it was done, they were free from the hell — they decided to have some fun and loosen up after going through such stress and pressure.

 

“Hey, this ice cream flavour doesn’t at all, surprisingly.” Jimin commented as she took another scoop of ice cream from her cup, shoving it in then gave out a delighted moan, savouring the tasty flavour.

 

Minjeong was distracted for a second, yelping when the ice cream on her own spoon started to melt, droplets of the melted liquid landing on her clean white uniform shirt. She immediately dropped the spoon back to its cup, cursing under her breath as she wiped the mess off her shirt with her own hand.

 

She was surprised when Jimin reached for her neck to steady her, wiping the part of the shirt that got dirtied with a tissue, gently damping the tissue on the spot — an attempt to remove the small mess even though the liquid penetrated through the cloth already, creating a patch of dot. Minjeong didn’t care about it, all she could smell jasmine and honey from Jimin, and focus on how close their proximity was.

 

There it was again, the blossoming sensation in her heart, making its way around her chest again. Suddenly, she felt light.

 

Pursing her lips together, Minjeong tried to stay still, not liking how she suddenly felt uncomfortable having her best friend being too close like this to her, feeling Jimin’s slender fingers resting on the exposed skin of her neck and collar. And seeing her up close like this… her heart went wild when it wasn’t supposed to be.

 

Jimin took a step back after a few damp, crumpling the tissue using her hand then went to the nearby trash can to dispose it before settling beside Minjeong again, continuing to eat her ice cream, not aware that Minjeong became silent and her mind suddenly malfunctioned like her head just lost a screw.

 

“We should invite Aeri and the others soon,” suggested Jimin out of a sudden, finishing her ice cream, and Minjeong continued walking with her ice cream melting on the cup she was holding, matching Jimin’s pace as she usually did. Even though Minjeong was a fast walker, it was already an instinct to match Jimin’s unhurried pace every time. It was like this ever since they were still kids.

 

Minjeong felt the flowery sensation engulf her whole chest as she witnessed Jimin’s lips curve up into a small meaningful smile when she mentioned that specific name. There was a sudden itch in her chest, and Minjeong didn’t like it.

 

She was clueless as to why she was feeling like this, and it was slowly driving her insane. But it couldn’t be helped. The sensation wasn’t too harmful but it was making her feel scary things, and making her think something that she shouldn’t have thought.

 

Her eyes unconsciously went to her best friend again, and her heart raced at the sight of Jimin. The older woman was giggling over a monkey mascot dancing nearby, mimicking his moves slightly while smiling brightly before taking another scoop of her ice cream.

 

These… feelings weren’t here before, that was for sure. Her heart never fluttered hard like this at the simple sight of Jimin until just recently, and she always saw Jimin daily so she was so used to seeing her face all the time but why was she getting prettier, and prettier each day to Minjeong’s eyes? It was all a sudden, everything was always a sudden. And Minjeong was getting off-guard.

 

“Minjeong-ie, we should take a picture with that funny monkey,” Jimin said, squealing excitedly like a child as she tugged the hem of Minjeong’s cardigan repeatedly, almost shaking in great excitement as her foxy onyx eyes sparkled at the sight of the mascot then moved her hand to hold the shorter woman’s wrist — dragging her.

 

Jimin’s skin on hers… warm. It was warm, and distracting. It wasn’t like this before. And slightly, it was alarming Minjeong a bit because of all of these foreign feelings she was currently feeling when she was with her best friend…

 

Maybe, it didn’t mean anything. Maybe, Minjeong was going through a phase where all teenagers went through.

 

She ignored the tingling sensation in her chest again, the soft willowy feeling trying to penetrate gently through her lungs. She could smell a scent of jasmine coming from herself. Jimin was too far away for Minjeong to smell her.

 

A breath was puffed out to calm her racing heart. There was a hint of jasmine on her tongue, a faint scent of the said flower lingering around .

 

***

 

Minjeong’s eyes followed Jimin’s movements from the bleachers with pursed lips. She intently watched the older woman scurry on the court, desperately catching the ball, and received it, passing it to another player. Minjeong saw how determined Jimin looked, with her expression tight and serious, almost scowling and tense knowing the other team was the one leading.

 

It was one of Jimin’s best traits in Minjeong’s opinion. Jimin was a determined woman, always striving to work hard to achieve something she wanted. Winning, for example. The older woman wasn’t entirely competitive but she was always determined to not bring the others down, she was driven by passion and effort. She was a humble, hard working athlete. As an athlete, too, Minjeong was still amazed at how Jimin could be so intense yet gentle at the same time when it came to her sport of choice. She looked up to her best friend a lot.

 

Just witnessing Jimin desperately run around the court to follow the ball or support her teammates made Minjeong’s heart flip in admiration.

 

Jimin’s hair was tied up into a bun so it wouldn’t be a distraction, and now disheveled, and damp from sweat, sticking on the side of her face. Her black jersey was also drenched, and wet, she had been playing in the court for a long time now since she was one of the aces of the team. Droplets of sweat were rolling down from her temples — she would occasionally wipe it with her palm or the collar of her jersey.

 

Minjeong noticed that Jimin was panting heavily, exhaustion creeping up to her but the flames in her eyes never faded one bit, always remaining in a stance and ready. The shorter woman gulped, chewing on her lower lip when Jimin jumped when the setter gave the ball to her, spiking the ball across the net, and it was a flawless in — she saw the subtle smirk forming on Jimin’s plump pink lips as she landed on her feet, her eyes sparkling as she high-fived with her teammates.

 

But when Jimin turned her head to the bleachers where Minjeong was, and their eyes met — Minjeong could feel another flower blooming inside her, multiplying rapidly as Jimin threw her a grin, and raised her brow smugly at her as if to say, ‘Did you see that spike? Hmph, be proud of me!’, and Minjeong’s chest felt like it was once again filled by beautiful shimmering flowers. It felt like Minjeong was laying on top of a pile of flowers.

 

She smelt jasmine as Jimin gave her another smile before focusing on the game again. She didn’t even get to smile back at her friend.

 

Damn, Minjeong’s poor heart was surrounded by jasmine, bewitched by Jimin.

 

“Oi, Kim Minjeong, snap out of it.” Yizhuo’s voice entered her ears and Minjeong flinched on her seat, turning her attention to her friend who was sitting on the bleachers just one row above her — giving her a mischievous, meaningful look while grinning playfully.

 

Rolling her eyes, Minjeong shook her head, and gathered her things, putting it in her gym bag then slung it on her shoulders before standing up from her seat. “Let’s go, we still have our own practice.” The older one said, walking to the exit with Yizhuo following behind with her signature playful smile not leaving her lips.

 

“We won’t wait for the match to finish? Jimin-unnie might search for you,”

 

“No. She knows I also have practice. We might get late if we wait for the game to finish.” Minjeong answered, not liking the knowing tone Yizhuo was using. Well, she was already used to it because the younger woman liked to all the time.

 

Yizhuo hummed and didn’t respond after, speeding up her pace to match Minjeong’s long, fast strides, barely keeping up as she looked up at her, zipping up her windbreaker jacket until her collar. “You know,” She started off, and Minjeong knew Yizhuo was ready to tease again. “You looked so in love as you watched Jimin-unnie earlier back there.”

 

Minjeong just gave Yizhuo a look of disbelief like she said something ridiculous. “What the hell are you talking about?” asked the older, almost like a hiss but because of the thought, her heart fluttered a bit.

 

Shrugging, Yizhuo averted her gaze but there was still a knowing smile plastered on her lips, pocketing her hands in her jacket to look a little bit nonchalant. “Well, you always look at your best friend like you’re in love with her, Minjeong.” She replied, and before Minjeong could even snap, the younger swimmer athlete added, “You can always deny it using words but your eyes… they never lie, Minjeong. I’ve been witnessing it for years now, and I’ve quite experienced it myself before so I know.”

 

Yizhuo then glanced at Minjeong as they entered the pool area, spotting some of their other teammates from the corner, warming up or either talking. Minjeong gave Yizhuo a look like the foreign woman was a complete lunatic but Yizhuo just gave her a playful huff, smacking her arm lightly.

 

“It’s always hard to fall for a close friend. Take your time to sort your feelings out, Minjeong-ie.”

 

That afternoon, Minjeong was in a complete daze throughout the practice. Coach Kwon nagged at her a few times for being too distracted, and later on asked what was wrong with her. Minjeong lied through her teeth that she was fine, and that she was just thinking of her sick dog at home.

 

Minjeong could feel Yizhuo’s worried, regretful gaze from afar, even when she was underwater but she ignored it, she knew her friend was just trying to help her admit something that was already there. And Minjeong couldn’t breathe.

 

Was she in love with Yoo Jimin? Harboring deep romantic feelings for her instead of sisterly, friendly one? Minjeong recalled everything — from the way Jimin could make her feel until she finally realized that Jimin indeed made her world shake.

 

Minjeong’s heart. It bloomed for Jimin. Minjeong’s flowers. They blossomed for Jimin.

 

When Minjeong resurfaced from the pool, ascending back into the world — she could taste a tinge of jasmine mixed with chlorine on the tip of her tongue again as she desperately gasped for air. And this time. Minjeong concluded that she was indeed in love with Yoo Jimin, and she couldn’t escape.

 

***

 

The first petal appeared when Minjeong and Jimin hung out with their group of friends consisting of; Yizhuo, Ryujin, Soeun, Minjoo, and Aeri. It was a weekend and they planned to hang out at the Han River Park, and have a picnic all together.

 

Minjeong and Jimin, as usual, arrived together. Minjeong always fetched Jimin from her house whenever they would go outside.

 

At first, everyone was having a blast. They were loud and noisy as usual. Minjeong and Yizhuo chased each other around the grassy field, teasing each other, and Ryujin followed after finishing her sandwich. Minjoo just laughed on the side with Soeun, holding their phones up to film their childish antics.

 

Yizhuo and Minjeong talked before about the latter’s feelings for Jimin. She finally admitted, and told Yizhuo how she felt for her best friend, that she had been unconsciously loving and pining on Jimin for a while now. Minjeong was slightly devastated but being in love with Jimin was almost inevitable.

 

Yoo Jimin was lovely, almost perfect. She was caring, and always by Minjeong’s side ever since they were younger. She was like… Minjeong’s other half at this point. Without her, Minjeong couldn’t even function properly, and it felt like Minjeong couldn’t live without Jimin near her.

 

Yizhuo comforted her, and asked what she should do but Minjeong firmly decided to let the feelings be — hoping it would fade, and not bloom further because Jimin was her best friend. And she would never ruin their close friendship because she caught feelings for Jimin! She had always known that Jimin only saw her as her little sister, and best friend that was all — nothing more.

 

And that fact, well, Minjeong accepted it but her heart mourned at that.

 

These days, her chest felt heavy, she almost couldn’t breathe every night whenever she was thinking about Jimin and how beautiful her smile was. And that Minjeong wouldn’t be able to call Jimin ‘hers’. There was always something clogging as she tried to hold back her cries. She would occasionally taste the bitter taste of jasmine.

 

It was driving her insane. It hurt. It was so painful. Something was penetrating her lungs, and it would always make it harder for her to breathe. Maybe it was suffering, maybe it was because she was in great pain that her love might not be reciprocated.

 

After all, Minjeong knew that Jimin was interested in someone. Someone who wasn’t her.

 

Her eyes darted on Jimin across the field, seeing her sitting on the picnic cloth as she ate her sandwich, scrolling on her phone. Minjeong fought back a smile threatening to form on her lips — she was about to run towards the older woman when Ryujin suddenly tackled her on the ground with a laugh, and Yizhuo followed suit, laying on top of Ryujin — leaving Minjeong on the very bottom with a groan.

 

And when Minjeong looked up to see Jimin again, she spotted another figure sitting down beside her, and it was Aeri — it was clear as a day that Jimin’s cheeks became flushed, and pink when Aeri sat beside her, offering her a yogurt and Jimin accepted it with a shy smile.

 

Minjeong’s face dropped, and went grim a bit as she watched Aeri and Jimin talk wholeheartedly as they sipped on their yogurts. They were staring at each other intently, and the sweet smile on their lips never faded as they talked, like they formed a whole new world with just them occupying it.

 

Something filled Minjeong’s chest, and it was burning painfully, crawling all over her chest, and suffocating her. Her heart raged in jealousy. Never did Jimin look at Minjeong like she was her whole world but Minjeong always looked at Jimin like she was the reason that Minjeong had existed.

 

Minjeong’s throat itched so bad. She wanted to throw up. She couldn’t breathe. A lot of things just filled her chest, not allowing her to breathe at all. And her lungs… it was burning.

 

Minjeong stood up from her spot after Ryujin and Yizhuo rolled away from her, opting to chase each other instead. The woman tried to regain her normal breathing pattern as she shakily dusted off the grass and dirt stuck on her clothes, her eyes were shaking, and there was something stuck on the back of .

 

In reflex, she gagged a bit, and cleared afterwards — freezing when she realized that something was inside . Something came out from .

 

Slowly, her trembling hand reached for her tightly pursed lips, and finally parted them. Minjeong poked her tongue out a bit, and her fingers touched something soft resting on top of her tongue. She grasped it gently with her index finger and thumb, taking it away from .

 

Minjeong’s breath hitched when she checked the soft, small thing that she got from — it was a small white flower. Jasmine, Minjeong recognized it immediately. It smelt like Jimin, and it was one of Jimin’s favorite flowers.

 

A whole jasmine flower in . The petals were still intact, and it looked fresh.

 

Minjeong watched the flower fly with the wind, floating in the air, mingling with the dandelions midair. Minjeong didn’t even notice that Jimin was calling for her attention, she was just tense and frozen in her spot as she eyed the flower in horror.

 

No, it couldn’t be.

 

(Yes, it could be.)

 

***

 

After that, it was followed by another one… and another one; Minjeong kept finding flowers in when she was feeling something negative at that very moment. Her chest would contract, burn, and she would feel suffocated — and then would itch. Once Minjeong cleared to reduce the itch, she would feel a petal or a whole flower ascending from inside her to .

 

There was a time when Minjeong couldn’t suppress the urge to cough. She coughed up six flower petals in total. Jasmine. It was always jasmine. And it all reminded her of Jimin, and she was probably the reason why she got flowers inside her chest, slowly clogging up her lungs.

 

Minjeong was alarmed but the moment she realized that it wasn’t a one time thing, she knew it was an illness. A rare illness, only to the selected people could happen. A rare yet popular illness to mankind because of how magnificent and… sad it was. Too unexplainable of how it happened, or where it came from. Questionable.

 

Hanahaki Disease. A disease where one conjures up flowers inside one’s chest while suffering in a one-sided love, unrequited love. It could be deadly because the more the person got hurt, the more flowers would rapidly increase inside their chest — filling up their lungs until they couldn’t breathe no more, from flowers and from extreme pain and despair.

 

There was a cure, of course. First, the person who was loved by the said person would return their feelings. That was the known effective cure of them all — the painful flowers would subside the moment they learned that their love was actually reciprocated. Second, well, if the feelings couldn’t be returned then… they needed to move on. Not very effective at all because in many cases, the reason why people got Hanahaki Disease was because of their extreme love and desperation for their feelings to be returned. Or the worst option, one would erase their memories with the person they loved to lose their feelings.

 

Minjeong would go for the second option. The first one? Geez. There was no way… and the third? Hell no, she would rather die rather than forget her wonderful memories with Jimin. It was equivalent to dying anyway, and what was the whole point of erasing anyway because for sure, once Minjeong met Jimin again, she would fall in love all over again just like that.

 

She would only hope for the best. She would keep it a secret to everyone, even to Yizhuo. It was bearable anyway… it hurt but Minjeong could manage it. And the flowers… well, she probably coughed up a whole bag of jasmine flowers and petals already.

 

“Minjeong, you look paler than usual,” Jimin commented one day when they were walking home together, and Minjeong flinched a bit, looking down at Jimin, her heart skipped a beat when she was greeted by the taller woman’s worried, sparkly onyx eyes.

 

Well, Minjeong was feeling sick indeed recently — after realizing she had a disease that always made her cough up flowers, and that she was absolutely helplessly and hopelessly in love with her best friend — it drained her, just too much to take in and to accept. It didn’t help that the disease was making her really feel sick.

 

Her chest pounded, and Minjeong ignored it, throwing a smile at her best friend for assurance. “Really? But I’m feeling perfectly good though,” Minjeong lied through her teeth. She was slowly becoming a full-time liar now, and she never lied to Jimin, like ever — until recently.

 

Jimin puckered her lips a bit, forming a slight pout to say that she wasn’t convinced at all and Minjeong weakly chuckled at that, tiptoeing and reaching for the older woman’s hair, ruffling it, earning a huff from her. Jimin then linked their arms together, and Minjeong was a little bit taken aback but the skinship wasn’t unwelcomed.

 

“Let’s get some ice cream then. My treat. Sounds good?” said Jimin, looking at Minjeong with a small smile, and her brow was curled up in a suggestive manner. Minjeong couldn’t refuse that.

 

“Yes.” sang Minjeong, tightening her hold on Jimin. The flowers calmed down, shrinking a bit, and was replaced by a more pleasant sensation in her chest like… flowers dancing with the breeze of spring.

 

***

 

Minjeong got out of the pool, panting a bit after finishing up a lap. She took off her goggles and cap, looking at Coach Kwon who was giving her a satisfied nod. Minjeong was slacking recently because of the flowers and Jimin resulting in Yuri getting disappointed with her performance. Even the others were getting worried about her because she wasn’t like this at all, and people were expecting a lot since she was the one who would compete for the nationals soon.

 

The flowers, thankfully, were calm that day, not affecting her in any way so she got to put up a great performance for the practice.

 

Yizhuo was also giving her a proud smile from the bench. Minjeong was happy for herself that day, she should really be like this at all times. The flowers were seriously restricting her movements, and all.

 

She showered, got dressed, and tidied up her things. She bid goodbye to her teammates and exchanged thumbs up with Yizhuo, and went to the gym where Jimin was still practicing. They agreed to walk home together, and since Jimin wasn’t present in the pool area, then their practice must be still ongoing.

 

Minjeong excitedly leaped on the stony pathway, entering the gym with a small smile on her lips, and when she got inside, she was immediately greeted by Jimin’s teammates who were already cleaning up the court. She greeted back with a chirp before roaming her eyes around the place, and finally spotting Jimin.

 

However, she wasn’t alone. Minjeong’s smile dropped instantly when she saw that Jimin was sitting with someone — and she could hear the laughter from her spot. Minjeong’s eyes went to the other person, and her breath hitched when she recognized that it was Aeri.

 

They were laughing happily while sipping on their yogurts, and Jimin even playfully slapped Aeri on the arm while the latter chuckled, leaning on Jimin to whisper something while the volleyball player just blushed a bit at their close proximity.

 

Minjeong could feel the flowers blooming inside her chest painfully again as she watched the scene before her. Her heart was crushed, and she drowned in the sea of flowers. Tears formed in her eyes because of pain that she was feeling from her heart, and from the flowers flooding her insides.

 

Before either one of them could spot her — Minjeong turned around, and ran away from the place, feeling itch, her lungs clogged with flowers. It was so painful. Jimin looked so happy with someone else. The image of Jimin laughing with Aeri as she stared at the latter with sparkly eyes was the last straw — the urge to throw something up finally won over.

 

Minjeong threw up flowers for the first time.

 

She crouched down, holding her chest as flowers continuously fell out of — landing on the ground, and some flew away with the wind. She gagged them all out while crying, the pain on her chest started to dull but the flowers seemed not to stop coming out from .

 

Minjeong gasped for air once the flowers finally stopped coming out of her insides, and her chest was feeling a little bit light but overall, she felt . Her legs gave up, and she landed on her bottom, heavily breathing as she wiped off the saliva dripping off her chin. She shakily took a breath, and looked at the pile of flowers she threw up — gasping softly when she realized that it wasn’t just jasmine this time.

 

At first, she thought it was blood but then when she got to take a good look — she realized that it was another type of flower. Minjeong picked it up with her trembling hand. The flower was still fresh and fiery.

 

Rose.

 

Minjeong threw up rose and jasmine flowers. And both flowers reminded her of Jimin in a lot of ways.

 

***

 

It wasn’t the last time Minjeong threw up or gagged a lot of flowers like that. It was just the first of the many.

 

From that day on, Jimin seemed to spend a lot more time with Aeri than Minjeong. And Minjeong tried her best to understand, just smiling whenever Jimin would reject the offer of her walking home together or hanging out when it was weekend because she was going to meet with Aeri or had plans with the latter.

 

And the pain just increased a lot after that. Each day passed, the flowers became more violent and painful inside her chest. The itch, and the urge to cough or gag even became constant, and it hurt so bad but nothing could beat the pain she was suffering on knowing that Jimin was falling for Aeri deeply. That hurt more rather than these monster flowers suffocating her.

 

There was a time Minjeong coughed up flowers in the middle of the class, thankfully, she managed to cover with her hands, and spotted petals of jasmine and roses. And when she was in the practice, she had to excuse herself two times to the bathroom to gag out the flowers stuck in the back of .

 

It was obvious enough that she was getting sicker. Well, she was coughing up flowers. And she was bound to feel sick at all times. She couldn’t even eat, always out of appetite, and sluggish and paler than usual. The change was too evident no matter what Minjeong did to cover them all up, it was still visible. Yizhuo was very concerned about her health while Jimin… She didn’t even notice the changes much because she was getting distant from Minjeong, always with Aeri most of the time.

 

Minjeong was flaming in anger and jealousy because Jimin wouldn’t even spend a little time with her anymore. But it was for the better if Jimin was away, to be honest. Jimin might know that Minjeong was suffering from that freaking disease, and because of her! This way, she might move on from her but so far, no progress at all even though she was so upset with her.

 

She couldn’t even sleep because of the thoughts haunting her, and because of the flowers… she kept throwing up.

 

At this point, her bathroom was full of flowers already, every corner of her room smelt of jasmine mixed with roses, reminding her of Jimin always. It was driving her mad.

 

Minjeong thought of seeking professional help but she was ashamed that she was crazy over her best friend. She didn’t want to bother anyone. She wanted to suffer alone instead. She didn’t want any pity from people. The sympathetic look Yizhuo would always give her was enough. Jimin didn’t need to know that Minjeong was madly in love with her to the point she was throwing up flowers Jimin loved and flowers that Minjeong reminded of Jimin so much.

 

But she would rather die than lose her memories with Jimin.

 

“Minjeong, are you seriously okay? You look ill these days. You need to go to the hospital.” Yizhuo insisted one day when they met each other in the pool area. Minjeong was weaker that day because she cried and threw up a lot last night because she saw that Jimin posted a photo of her and Aeri together from their last ‘date’.

 

Minjeong’s head was pounding, and she couldn’t breathe at all, flowers were stuck all over her insides but she still went on with her day like nothing was happening.

 

Shaking her head, Minjeong just sluggishly opened her locker but Yizhuo still got her eyes narrowed at her, very concerned but she ignored the younger woman, and did her thing. “I’m going to call Jimin, and tell her to accompany you to the infirmary.” said Yizhuo, whipping her phone out from her pocket.

 

Minjeong just snorted, slamming the locker shut to face Yizhuo with a cold look on her face. “No need. She’s too busy with Aeri.” responded Minjeong, and the flowers raged over the mention, and the urge to cough intensified as the flowers started to ascend from her chest again up to .

 

Yizhuo was dumbfounded when Minjeong ran while clutching her chest but she didn’t follow, and the older woman was grateful for that. She rushed to the nearest bathroom and she was relieved that no one was occupying any stall. She entered one of the stalls, slamming it shut, and finally threw up the flowers that had been begging to go out from inside her.

 

After finally emptying the flowers stuck on the back of , Minjeong fell on the floor, trembling and trying to catch her breath. Once she calmed down a bit, she wiped , and when she checked her palm — she spotted a smudge of crimson blood on it.

 

Her eyes widened, squinting her eyes, and bringing her shaking hand closer, inspecting it. Blood. It was indeed blood, almost drying up and painting onto her skin. Minjeong gulped, feeling a tangy, rusty taste lingering on with a faint of jasmine and rose.

 

She slowly turned to the toilet, gasping when she realized that the red things splattered on the seat and floor were not the petals of roses… but it was blood. She spotted a lone jasmine flower tainted with blood. Her own blood.

 

Minjeong was slowly entering the deadly stage of the disease.

 

And she just shrugged it off, wiping her mess with tons of tissue and went back to her class with shaking hands. She was scared but she was more scared to lose Jimin than herself.

 

***

 

“Are you free today? Let’s visit our favorite playground later at night.” asked Jimin, peeking behind Minjeong with her signature smile.

 

Minjeong’s tired, pained heart fluttered still at the sight of her best friend. Even though she knew it would hurt her — she smiled, and replied, “Yes. Sure, let’s go.” Maybe, this would at least ease her heart and the flowers in her chest.

 

As usual, Minjeong fetched Jimin from her house that night, and they walked to the playground side by side. Even though Minjeong was so tired, and weak after throwing up the flowers filling up her lungs — she still went. Jimin was more important.

 

Throughout her journey to Jimin’s house, she coughed out a bag of flowers, and she emotionlessly watched them fly away in the midnight air while some landed on the pavement. Someone spotted her actually, and she wasn’t shocked at what she saw but she was rather pitying Minjeong but the latter ignored her, continuing walking as she suppressed the urge to throw up and relieve the itch on .

 

Thankfully enough, Minjeong managed to hold up the flowers threatening to come out of while she was with Jimin. And when the taller woman was distracted, Minjeong would discreetly spit out the petals from .

 

When Jimin went inside the store to buy themselves some drinks, Minjeong insisted to stay outside because she badly wanted to throw up the flowers because it was suffocating her so badly that she couldn’t even speak anymore without the petals flying out between her lips.

 

Minjeong ignored the blood tainting the flowers. Her blood made the beautiful roses redder...

 

“I missed spending time with you,” blurted Jimin when they reached the playground, sitting on the swing each side by side with cola on their hand. Minjeong was mum, wanting to snicker and retort something related to Aeri but she was too weak to even say anything, she could only give Jimin a tight smile.

 

Jimin then grabbed Minjeong’s hand, catching the latter off-guard. “Are you really okay, Minjeong? You look sick these days, and I can’t catch you often anymore. I heard that you also stopped practicing swimming for a while. You lost some weight too.” She asked, worryness lacing her tone, and Minjeong was moved.

 

These past few months were really hell for Minjeong. With her handling her feelings for her best friend, the disease, the flowers, and all. Funnily enough, Jimin only noticed it recently when in fact, Minjeong wasn’t well for months already. It was upsetting. Jimin was so distracted with Aeri that she didn’t even get to check on Minjeong often anymore.

 

“I’m okay now,” Now that you’re here, spending time with me. “Don’t worry.”

 

Jimin’s hold around her hand tightened, and Minjeong felt warm. She felt warm. It felt nice to be near Jimin like this again. The way their fingers were intertwined perfectly… Minjeong missed it, loved it.

 

At least, the flowers had calmed down, knowing that Jimin was near but still, flowers filled her lungs snuggly.

 

They caught up a lot, talking about random things, and surprisingly, Jimin didn’t insert Aeri into the topics. They shared laughs at the gossip they got from Soeun, and many things. And it felt like the old days, it felt like Minjeong didn’t lose Jimin at all. She was so happy, and she wanted it to stay this way.

 

Once the night went deeper, they decided to finally go home because it was a school night, they needed to wake up early tomorrow for their classes. Minjeong walked Jimin home as usual, their houses were just a few blocks apart anyway.

 

“Thank you for walking me back home, Jeong-ie. I had fun tonight~ I missed my best friend so much.” Jimin said, playfully slapping Minjeong’s arm while wearing a very sheepish grin. The shorter woman just weakly chuckled, nodding, but Jimin’s words stung.

 

“Me too, I missed you a lot,” Minjeong whispered, and her voice was laced with sadness, hoping Jimin would catch that. And she did. The older woman gave her a look of pity, she was guilty for not spending much time with her best friend, that was for sure.

 

Silence engulfed them, and Minjeong awkwardly shifted, ready to bid goodbye when suddenly, Jimin took a step forward, looking serious all of a sudden. “I want to say something important, Minjeong-ah.” Her voice was deep and serious that made Minjeong’s heart skip a beat.

 

Jimin was looking at her with those sincere foxy onyx eyes that Minjeong had always loved, and Minjeong felt the flowers inside her blossom and shimmer. What was she expecting…?

 

“I’m falling for Aeri, Minjeong-ah. I’m going to confess to her tomorrow,”

 

Minjeong deflated, and felt her world shatter alongside her heart. Every flower inside her withered in an instant, and her ears were ringing. She wanted to throw up, tears were threatening to fall. She should’ve expected this but why… Why did it hurt so much? She couldn’t even breathe anymore.

 

She clenched her fists as her heart raged with the flowers. All she wanted to do was throw up those flowers that reminded her of Jimin so much, and cry. Who knew one-sided love could hurt like ?

 

Minjeong forced out a smile even though her lips quivered. “That’s nice. I hope it goes well, Jimin-ah.” She replied, taking a shaky breath, thankful that no petal fell out from . Her chest was burning, and heavy. Everything was just too much. She could feel the bitter taste of the petals on her tongue. She needed to go away.

 

Jimin smiled brightly at her, giving Minjeong a brief hug before rushing inside her house, leaving her friend outside the gate, in a daze.

 

Minjeong went home alone with a broken heart wrapped in thorns, tons of jasmine, and roses blooming rapidly in her chest and lungs. She didn’t even bother that petals and flowers were falling out of her parted lips as she walked lifelessly on the dark streets, leaving a trail of flowers on her way.

 

That night, Minjeong was sprawled in her room’s bathroom — blood tainted flowers of jasmine and roses surrounding her. She gasped for air, finally trying to stand up on her wobbly legs, and used the toilet seat full of flowers to support her. She helplessly clutched on the sink, knuckles turning white, holding it like her life depended on it. She eyed the mirror, her reflection — her puffy eyes were bloodshot, her hair was messy, and her pale lips were smudged with crimson blood, a petal peeking out between her lips.

 

But it wasn’t herself who she saw in the mirror but Jimin and Aeri who were smiling at each other happily. Her heart ached.

 

When would this madness end?

 

She slightly turned her neck, eyeing the flowers laying on the tiled floor, piling up on the sink and toilet seat, seeing it painted with her own blood. She scooped the flowers she coughed and threw up, they gently rested on her palm, they were light and it tickled her skin.

 

They were beautiful. Even though she knew they were hurting Minjeong. And even if they were tainted with blood. They looked beautiful and magnificent, like Jimin, despite the flaw.

 

***

 

Minjeong still went to school the next morning even after all of that. She was like a zombie, dragging herself along the school grounds, and she earned a lot of concerned looks from the students. She just hoped she wouldn’t bump into Yizhuo this time or any of her friends, especially Jimin.

 

She decided to skip because she was scared that she might throw up flowers in the middle of the class but she let a few petals fall out from as she walked to the secluded part of the school — only to get greeted by the sight of Jimin and Aeri — the two people who she badly didn’t want to see at all, they were the last people who Minjeong wanted to see that day.

 

And they were hugging while giggling, and it didn’t take long for Minjeong to realize that Jimin had probably confessed to Aeri already, and judging at their lovey-dovey actions, they were finally official. Minjeong’s stomach churned, and there was the suffocating feeling in her chest again. But this time, she couldn’t bear it anymore as she stared at the new happy couple from a distance.

 

They didn’t even notice that someone was watching, that Minjeong was watching them. And when Minjeong witnessed how Jimin cupped Aeri’s cheeks lovingly as she smiled at her, and how Aeri s her arms around Jimin’s slim waist possessively — then leaned in… Minjeong fled away in a rush with dilating eyes and the thorns wrapped around her heart pierced deeper.

 

Minjeong just found herself standing at the poolside, hot tears endlessly pouring from her eyes, and petals escaping . She couldn’t even push the flowers away, they were filling up , , and Minjeong let them fall endlessly.

 

She let her bag drop on the floor, and dressed into her swimming attire. Emotionlessly, she slowly went to the water, sinking to the cold water but she cared less about it — it comforted her. The water had always been her safe haven.

 

She swam at the very center, and let herself sink below, and shut her eyes, trying to erase the scene she had witnessed earlier in her mind but it was almost completely inevitable. Instead, she thought of Jimin and how her eyes turned into small little crescents whenever she smiled. Every memory with Jimin went on flashback in her mind. The flowers raged even more.

 

Minjeong was once again drowning.

 

***

 

 

Jimin saw Minjeong in the pool, floating calmly on the water, her back was facing the ceiling, and her front was fully submerged into the once clear blue water. She wasn’t moving at all, even if Jimin had called her name a few times already.

 

But the pool was full of flowers — jasmine and roses, Jimin recognized, they were floating too, staying on top of the water. It was a beautiful sight, actually. Except for the fact that there was a tinge of red surrounding Minjeong.

 

However, Jimin was too late. Minjeong was already lifeless.

 

Minjeong drowned.

 

Minjeong drowned in water. Minjeong drowned in her own pool of thoughts. Minjeong drowned in suffering and pain. Minjeong drowned in flowers.

 

***

 

A/N: i hope you enjoyed :D did you cough up flowers too? share your thoughts by dropping a comment~?