August 15, 2038

Minjoo wasn’t too sure where or when it all started but she was sure that it had been happening quite often now.

Her husband was being too distant with her family — their fights were also getting too frequent. All because of pathetic reasons and stuff that Jihyeok was forming in his head, giving a conclusion that was not even true. And his busy schedule that didn’t allow him to spend more time with his family.

It was funny. The perfect couple that every person was envious of was not really that perfect than it looked.

Sure, in their early dating days, it was nice. Jihyeok was the most caring, understanding, and perfect man to ever exist that was why Minjoo was attracted and fell with his charms later on — he was the only one who could nearly match Yujin’s level and the only one that caught her eyes besides the mentioned woman.

It was never perfect. It was already flawed the moment Minjoo accepted Jihyeok and formed a romantic relationship with him while being too madly in love with Yujin. She was a big, fat liar.

He was the safe choice, the choice that Minjoo had wrongly chosen because of her cowardice.

Minjoo wasn’t prying on it much before. She was okay with Jihyeok being away too often since she understood as his lover that he was busy with his blooming career and he was working for his family’s future — she was so fine with it because it meant Minjoo wouldn’t feel too guilty seeing him around because Jihyeok’s existence in her life reminded her of her stupid and wrong decisions.

Even until now, she was still bagging the guilt and regret. Well, she would carry those until she ascended to heaven, would she even go there? After inflicting too much damage and pain to innocent people? Especially to Yujin.

However, lately, he was completely forgetting his responsibilities to his wife and daughter which really made Minjoo upset. Sure, he didn’t need to care for Minjoo because she could do well without him, and she could definitely live without him at all.

But their daughter, she also sometimes needed his affection and attention. Song Yujin wasn’t even asking much about him anymore, thanks to Yujin’s distraction, and she was even more inclined on seeing her auntie as her ‘parent’ than Jihyeok. And it quite pissed Minjoo off.

She didn’t also want little Yujin to be deprived of her father’s love even though Yujin was there to complete that. Yujin wasn’t her daughter’s real parent even though she would willingly act one. Jihyeok was present there but he was focusing more on his career, setting his family aside. And Minjoo wasn’t really happy with that at all.

Even though Minjoo didn’t love Jihyeok as much, she still tried to love him as a husband. Even if her love for him wouldn’t reach her love for Yujin — she had learned to love and care for him sincerely. So, she was still a concerned wife of his.

Jihyeok wasn’t even like this before, especially when their daughter was born. He balanced his time very well but as little Yujin grew, he thought that it would be okay to take on more projects because their daughter would understand immediately that he was working for them. Little Yujin was a wise kid after all, and she knew that — however, it didn’t mean it was right.

Minjoo kept shut for years but she knew that this family was already falling apart ever since the first year of their marriage.

Minjoo tried to be the best wife but it seemed like it wasn’t also enough because she was deeply in love with someone else that wasn’t her husband.

Throughout the years of her marriage with Jihyeok — it felt like she was being forced, like she was just doing it for the better. And it was the truth anyway. She wasn’t really too willing to succumb to this idea but this was the mistake that she was responsible for — a ‘game’ that she had started and she needed to play to please other people.

A game that caused her and Yujin’s downfall.

As she grew older, Minjoo started to become bolder even though she didn’t have the right. As if the world’s view on her wasn’t too important anymore. She was starting to care less about other people’s feelings unless it was her two Yujins.

She became a lot more mature due to experiences, and as she became older — she had realized even more how stupid she was for not doing anything early to save herself and Yujin. Ah, of course, like others had said — regret does come in late. And instead of moving on and accepting that everything must’ve probably ended for the both of them — the desire to finally make things right became stronger instead as day passes.

Especially that Yujin was so close. Too close. A line between them, a boundary separating them — Minjoo could cross that if she ever wanted to, and she badly wanted to but she would remember that if she would take a step then she should fix the mess she did first.

She already did enough damage. Acting out of impulse and because she lost control of herself and feelings were the last thing she ever wanted to do.

Lately, she had been coming into a realization for some reasons. There was something triggering the hell out of her.

But even so, she still hadn’t gotten the courage to even make a move. She didn’t have the right… but she didn’t also want things to be like this forever. There was still time to repair everything — she just needed to start with herself before she fixed the other damages she had inflicted.

‘It was too late. You let it happen for longer.’

A voice inside her head would intensify, guilting her even more that even the littlest courage that she would muster would fade. Yeah, it was already too late. It was too late to save everything. They were already old. She already had a husband and a kid.

How could she be still too selfish and greedy to think of dropping everything for Yujin? She had been quite selfish all her life. Pulling Yujin closer, acting like a jealous lover, being too possessive, reaching for Yujin — all too selfish, and it had been going on since forever. That was enough greediness, Minjoo. It was enough. Too much, even. Considering that she was the reason why they did not end up together happily before.

But still, despite everything. Minjoo still wanted to try and reach. Even if it was too late.

Minjoo still wanted to make everything right. But she didn’t know how. Heck, did she even have the right to do such things after almost two decades?

Minjoo was thirty-seven, and still indecisive, and confusing.

And a coward.

“You’re really quiet these days. Always can be caught in a deep thought.” Yujin’s voice pulled Minjoo from her deep thoughts.

The older woman blinked, staring at Yujin who was also staring back at her with an amused smile plastered on her lips, but her eyes held worry. Her dimples were poking out adorably.

Taking a deep breath, Minjoo smiled back tightly before averting her gaze, looking around the quiet spot. Ah, her and Yujin’s favorite spot in the whole wide universe. The place that only the both of them knew.

The scenery didn’t really change much in the past years, the nightlife in Seoul was almost the exact same as it was decades ago but there were a lot of new bright, tall skyscrapers in the city.

Of course, the both of them still hung out in their safehaven of theirs. Although rarely, they still visit — Minjoo had personally bought the property because this place held a lot of memories and deep meaning for her and Yujin. This was when Yujin first confessed to her and the first time Minjoo felt deep terror in her heart…

Ah, she almost reminisced again. She turned her head to look at Yujin again. The younger woman was still staring at her silently, asking for an answer. Minjoo gave her, “Well, me and Jihyeok kind of fought again.” She honestly answered.

She and Jihyeok had another quarrel because he came home late even though he promised their daughter that he would be back before dinner. Little Yujin was so disappointed and cried herself to sleep so Minjoo was really fuming mad at her husband.

Minjoo couldn’t tell Yujin but they were falling apart, that was for sure. And she was slowly falling out of love, the love she tried hard to form for Jihyeok — it was starting to go down into the drain.

When Yujin frowned — Minjoo immediately assured her. “But it’s good now. We’ve talked and settled it.” She lied through her teeth because she didn’t want to worry Yujin much anymore. It was embarrassing enough that their marriage was not perfect that everyone pictured it to be.

This was her choice, and therefore — it was her responsibility to make everything intact as it should be.

If Minjoo just bravely chose Yujin… were they happy now?

“Okay? It’s getting frequent now, Minjoo. I hope you both are really fine.” Yujin answered instead, looking away — she then took a sip from her beer and just stared at the scenery with a calm expression.

Yujin always worried too much. And it was really making Minjoo very guilty. Even after all these years, Yujin had never failed to check if she was okay, as if it was her responsibility to make Minjoo feel better, and help her settle those concerns and problems. Ready to lend her shoulders for Minjoo to lean on and listen to her without complaining.

Minjoo’s heart shattered. She chewed on her lower lip as she stared at Yujin’s side profile — what a majestic woman she was. The woman Minjoo didn’t choose. The woman Minjoo had sincerely loved.

Ah, those good old guilt again. It never left, it never faded, it only rapidly multiplied throughout the long years.

Minjoo couldn’t help but to ask herself.

Is this really the end for us?

It doesn’t feel right.

But I don’t know how to fix it.

Do I even have the right and courage to do so?

Yujin-ah, are we too late?

Is it better that things will stay like how it was supposed to be?

They were just some of the thousands of questions in Minjoo’s little head. Would Yujin even accept her if she ever finally got that courage she had been trying to muster? Yujin suffered long enough, and she had already accepted that they weren’t written for each other this lifetime.

But… Minjoo couldn’t accept it. She still couldn’t accept that in this lifetime, they were not going to end up together happily. It was unfair, and it was because of her. She was the only one that could put things together into pieces, into the right place because she was the one who messed up big time.

“Yujin-ah,”

“Hmm?”

“Are we too late?”

Yujin finally turned to her, wearing a confused look. Minjoo just smiled at her, hugging her jacket closer to her because a wind passed by.

“For what?” asked the younger woman, oblivious to the double meaning of words.

Minjoo grinned at her, standing up from her seat, and offered her hand to Yujin. “To eat tteokbokki~?” She asked cutely.

Yujin blinked at her answer then also broke into a grin, holding Minjoo’s hand as she pulled herself from her seat — their hands remained glued to one another as the taller woman answered, “It’s never too late, Minjoo-ah.” Yujin winked, and Minjoo’s heart skipped a beat.

“Come on. Let’s get some tteokbokki!” Yujin then added and they went out of the private property hand in hand, and when they reached the parking lot. Yujin suddenly took her hand back, Minjoo swallowed her disappointed — she wanted to hold that hand longer and pretend they were a happy couple.

“The last one who reaches the car will be the one who will buy the food.” rapidly said Yujin when she faced Minjoo, and the moment she exclaimed that she dashed towards the car with great speed, leaving Minjoo with agape mouth.

“Hey, that’s not fair!” Minjoo yelled, her voice echoing around the silent, dark alleyway before following Yujin while grinning. The taller woman just laughed, halting her steps, waiting for Minjoo with a sheepish smile on her lips.

When Minjoo reached Yujin, she immediately jumped on the woman’s back, surprising the latter but she caught Minjoo anyway — out of instinct, she just held Minjoo’s thighs to support her as the older woman rode her back happily, her hold around Yujin’s neck was tight, afraid to fall while laughing.

“Damn, Minjoo. We’re not that young anymore. Remember, I’m turning thirty five next month. I’m getting older which means I’m getting weaker.” Yujin choked out, struggling a bit to balance herself with Minjoo riding her back but the moment she regained her footing, she started to walk casually with Minjoo on her back, hugging her tightly.

Minjoo smiled from behind. She didn’t need to be reminded that they were getting older and older, time didn’t pass too slowly. Always ticking, and in a blink, another day had finished.

Minjoo always loved to pretend that time didn’t exist. After all, everything was almost the same as before — and she didn’t want to change something because of oldness; like how she and Yujin spent time together. They might be getting older but still, they still hung out and spent time together as if they were still in their fresh, young twenties.

That night. Minjoo almost forgot everything. As she ate tteokbokki with Yujin while happily talking with her — everything felt right. Oh, how she wished she could live in that moment. But time was limited.

“Can we stop counting the years of our suffering?” Minjoo whispered to herself as she tried to make herself fall asleep. Her daughter’s snore beside her was the only thing she could hear.

“I’ve ruined everything. But do I even have the right to fix it, still? When time has already passed?”

Minjoo fell asleep crying that night while holding little Yujin close. Just like the old times… self-blame, guilt, regret, confusion... all piled on top of her head.

***

September 10, 2038

“Mommy, is Daddy still going to go home?”

Minjoo could only crack a forced smile to her daughter who was already comfortably tucked under the sheets. She took a deep breath and stretched her hand, little Yujin’s head while the latter stared at her with those sparkly eyes that were too similar to her. Hmm, Yujin was really right whenever she commented that little Yujin-ie was just a mini copycat of her.

With a sigh, Minjoo’s smile faded a bit with her heart cracking as she answered, “I think he’ll go home late. He’s busy, remember? Photoshoots and filming,”

Her daughter pouted sadly. “But he told me he would be home earlier this time… but it’s already Yujin-ie’s bedtime yet he’s still not yet here.” responded little Yujin, pursing her thin lips together and that made Minjoo really sad.

Little Yujin was a very smart, understanding kid. She never asked much about her father since she was already enlightened that he was a busy man and she understood that very well — however, deep inside, she was still going to ask for him and his fatherly affection. She had limits too, and the worst thing was; she could only wait there patiently for her father.

Jihyeok’s promises always got broken by him and it was the main reason why Minjoo was getting angry at her husband. She was fuming mad because their daughter would wait for him only to not show up — he would only show up once little Yujin was already in deep slumber.

It had been like this for a lot of times that Minjoo couldn’t even count. At first, she was letting it pass, however, her daughter was obviously getting upset and sad because her father kept breaking promises!

Minjoo was reaching the last stage of her temper and she was a cool-headed person with a lot of patience in her but her husband’s actions were pushing her to the very edge and the thin thread was about to snap.

Pressing a kiss on her daughter’s forehead, she smiled apologetically at her and softly muttered, “I’m really sorry, my love. I’ll talk to your Daddy soon, hmm? You should go to sleep now, I can feel your drowsiness.”

With a wry, sleepy smile Yujin-ie nodded, snuggling further in her blanket. “Okay, Mommy. Good night, I love you.” She said in between her yawns and closed her eyes.

And once Minjoo felt that her daughter’s breathing pattern became slow and calm which meant she had already entered the dreamland, she stood up from her bed and exited the room, closing the door behind her. She took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of her nose. She was really annoyed and she would definitely talk to Jihyeok about this tonight.

Her husband came home an hour later, not even apologizing that he came home too late as if he didn’t promise his daughter that he would be home early for her. Minjoo glared at him from the couch in their bedroom as he changed his clothes to a more comfortable one.

Jihyeok finally noticed her death looks, and gave her a tired smile. “Hi, darling,” He greeted, and it just ignited the anger in Minjoo’s heart.

“You promised our daughter that you would be home soon.” She didn’t bother to greet back and said those words — firm and serious, straightforward to strike him.

Finally, Jihyeok realized and scratched his head, sighing. “About that. I’m really sorry. The director said that we should film another extra scene and thus this. I’ll just apologize to her tomorrow and buy her a gift to make it up to her.” He answered with a sweet smile, approaching her.

Minjoo stood up from her seat, glaring at her husband. “I’m so sick of this, Jihyeok. I wouldn’t care if it’s just me but it’s Yujin! Our daughter. You kept making promises that meant a lot to her but it seems like those words of yours were shallow for you.” She finally snapped. She never snapped at someone but she had slowly started to learn how to raise her voice out of impatience and rage.

And well, the argument that night did not end up really well at all. Minjoo got to the point where she asked if his career and work was more important than their daughter and Jihyeok answered:

“It took me a long time to build my career, Minjoo, to reach this stardom! I had a lot of sacrifices and everything! And without this, I can’t give you both a comfortable life.”

Minjoo was baffled at his answer. And that night, Minjoo slept in her daughter’s room, not wanting to be in the same room as her husband who was starting to be insufferable. She was so upset with his answer! It was an indirect answer that he would rather choose his work and it was way more important because he took a lot of effort to obtain it.

Jihyeok had changed. Minjoo was so disappointed. She thought that Jihyeok would be the most perfect, responsible father because he was the best man to ever exist.

Minjoo was a fool for believing that. People change. And Jihyeok was changing for the worse that Minjoo was slowly starting to not recognize him anymore. The best man who she tried to love with all her might — was not the best man anymore. So it was true, usually, the ‘perfect’ ones were the ones who would turn ruined.

She already fell out of love. She knew that her love for her husband was only shallow because she was madly in love with Yujin but she still tried, however, seeing him like this — Minjoo realized one thing; it never worked. Her love for him never worked, she just forced herself to tell that so she would feel better, so everyone would be fooled.

Jihyeok was a nice, gentle guy, and for sure, before — Minjoo got smitten with him, however, it was a feeling that would never reach her foolish love for Ahn Yujin.

And Minjoo could tell. This wouldn’t work out anymore, and Minjoo wouldn’t want it to get sorted out anymore. Sure, she would think of trying to fix things for their daughter but she knew that little Yujin wouldn’t appreciate things more if Jihyeok would continue being like this. And this way, she would untangle herself from the web she had created — Jihyeok already suffered enough because of the lies Minjoo had done for years. He was innocent yet Minjoo still dragged him in to prove something. It was for the better if she would stay away.

However, she wasn’t the one at fault. Her husband did a lot of damage too, and it already reached the limit so Minjoo wouldn’t hesitate and feel guilty if she ever did something.

Divorce.

That was the only choice to end all these madness all at once.

That would be Minjoo’s first move. She would just spot a perfect timing and hopefully, get enough courage to do so.

***

September 11, 2038

To make it up to her daughter, she decided to take her to the mall. She didn’t have any photoshoots or anything anymore, she was actually thinking of retiring fully from the acting industry and just live at peace with little Yujin.

Earlier this morning, little Yujin was really sad and gloomy because she didn’t get to see her dad last night and after she woke up, Jihyeok was already gone for his schedule — he did not even bid goodbye to his wife either, obviously also upset that they argued last night. Hmph, he had changed after their marriage. If it was years ago, he would scramble onto his feet just to make Minjoo feel better.

But her daughter’s bad mood didn’t last long when she decided to tell her that they would be going to the mall. She immediately asked if her favorite Auntie Yujin would be with them too but Minjoo just gave her daughter a sad smile because the younger woman couldn’t tag along with them because she also had some plans, and couldn’t cancel it.

Of course, Yujin was the first Minjoo had called when she thought of bringing her daughter out, however, the former had plans so she couldn’t come. She was obviously delighted at the idea of spending time with them but she couldn’t cancel her original plan because it had been set a long time ago. Minjoo was also sad because of that but she wasn’t too evil to demand for Yujin to cancel it and spend time with them instead.

However, on the bright side, she would solo her daughter. It was a great chance to bond with her daughter alone.

So, they finally went to the mall, just the two of them. Little Yujin was so excited that she kept skipping while tightly holding her mother’s hand and Minjoo would just smile at her.

Some people had recognized her almost immediately, well, she was still famous even though she wasn’t that active in the industry anymore. But thankfully enough, people respected their privacy and there were some bodyguards dressed as normal people just in case people would harass or bother them. It was better to be safe, especially that her daughter was with her.

Little Yujin was so happy whenever she saw a picture of her mother. Since Minjoo was still an endorser of many brands — her face was still practically everywhere, scattered.

The kid would proudly point at the advertisement with her mommy in it and say, “That famous, pretty girl is my mommy!” It would make Minjoo’s heart swell in pride, especially whenever Yujin-ie would mimic her pose in the ad.

Both of them strolled around the mall happily, checking out things and other more — however, something a little bit unexpected happened. They collided with familiar people.

Her daughter just finished playing in the playground and had a blast playing with other kids when she suddenly spotted someone familiar from afar that made her halt her steps almost immediately.

Yujin-ie was confused at first, tugging at her mom but when she followed the line of sight of her mother, she saw familiar people and beamed, pointing at them immediately with a lit up expression. “Mommy! It’s Auntie Yujin and pretty dancer unnie!”

So, those two familiar figures were indeed Yujin and Joorim. Minjoo eyed them from a distance, observing — the two had their backs on them and they were checking out an accessories stall. Minjoo’s sharp eagle eyes witnessed how Yujin smiled sweetly at Joorim when the latter excitedly showed her a certain necklace.

“Mommy, let’s go to them—”

Little Yujin was cut off when her mommy suddenly dragged her behind a big plant that would hide them from Yujin and Joorim’s sights. Blinking, the child was confused at the sudden action, looking up at her mother who was intently staring at the two.

“Mommy?”

“Shh. Jinie-yah, be quiet, okay? We’ll follow them.” Minjoo hushed, even placing an index finger on her lips to gesture to the kid to keep quiet.

Little Yujin was taken aback but she obeyed anyway, very confused. Just watching her mother watch her auntie and pretty dancer unnie until the two decided to finally walk again.

And when Yujin and Joorim moved, Minjoo did — guiding and holding her daughter but intensely watching them, not even averting her gaze as she didn’t want to lose sight of them. The mother and daughter duo trailed behind them, hiding from time to time, stealthy.

The kid didn’t understand why her mother was being like that and getting a little bit impatient since she wanted to greet her auntie and pretty dancer unnie. However, her mommy really looked so focused on stalking them that Yujin-ie was forced to get dragged around.

“Hmm. So this is the plan she can’t cancel,” murmured Minjoo under her breath, snorting to herself. Her kid had already noticed that her actions were stupid and amusing but she herself hadn’t realized that yet.

It had been fifteen minutes since they kept following Yujin and Joorim — little Yujin was getting impatient and frustrated, pouting at her mother who didn’t pay much attention to her because she was too busy glaring at the two figures ahead of them.

Yujin and Joorim were obviously having fun spending time with each other, it must have been a ‘date’ even. It was obvious in their faces, both were happy and enjoying the day. Minjoo felt something crumbling inside her chest.

When Yujin and Joorim stopped in front of a stall to buy something, little Yujin finally snapped and shouted, “Auntie Yujin!” Minjoo flinched, turning to her daughter with wide eyes. But the kid wasn’t looking at her, just smiling at Yujin and Joorim’s direction.

Yujin turned around to the way where she heard a familiar voice calling for her, and instantly lit up when she saw her niece and Minjoo standing from a distance. Her smile went big when she saw them. “Yujin-ie! Minjoo!” yelled the woman, waving happily at them — obviously beyond excited to see them.

Joorim was also surprised to meet them there but she was equally excited as Yujin so Minjoo could only sigh and let her daughter drag her to them, greeting them with a tight smile but her eyes lingered on Yujin after throwing a small smile at Joorim.

As expected, little Yujin attached herself to her favorite auntie.

“Ah, fancy seeing you guys here,” said Minjoo first, still staring at Yujin. “If I just know that Yujin will go here with you, we could’ve tagged along.”

Yujin averted her gaze. Yeah, she purposely didn’t tell Minjoo about this ‘hang-out’ with Joorim at all. Well, it seemed like the deities wanted some drama so they made them meet like this.

Joorim excitedly smiled at Minjoo, oblivious. “Yeah! It’s really a nice coincidence though~”

 

Little Yujin squealed, “Yay! Auntie Yujin, Joorim-unnie — can we tag along to your date?” She then asked which made Yujin almost choke on her own saliva, and made Joorim blush furiously while it made Minjoo’s heart rage inside her though. Even the little child knew!

It wasn’t a hidden truth that Minjoo’s daughter was fond of Joorim also. And she was quite vocal about finding her auntie and pretty dancer unnie cute together — she would even tease them sometimes. And well, Minjoo wasn’t pretty happy with that at all because before — little Yujin used to like her for her auntie Yujin but now that Joorim entered the picture…

“Ah, I don’t mind. The more, the merrier!” Joorim answered instead in a chirpy tone, laughing shyly while there was still pink dust on her cheeks. Yujin just smiled at her niece, ruffling her hair as the latter hugged her long leg.

Minjoo chewed her inner cheek before giving a bright smile, not wanting to look affected. No, she couldn’t be too salty about this. Yujin had the freedom to date, they weren’t together — no, she didn’t have the right to feel like this. “I hope you two won’t really mind for us to tag along. I’m sorry for disturbing your date.” She said that with a nice, soft tone but hidden underneath was bitterness and venomous. Ah, having superb acting skills were really handy at most times.

Yujin gave her a pointed look, as if to say that it wasn’t a date. Hmph, she didn’t need to explain. It was okay, it was alright.

They decided to dine inside a coffee shop since they were just craving for some light meals and drinks. Little Yujin decided to sit beside Joorim since the both of them were engaged in a nice conversation about dinosaurs and well, Yujin and Minjoo had no choice but to sit beside each other.

The younger woman was even reluctant to sit beside the quiet Minjoo, almost horrified to share the same seat with her but she didn’t have much option so she sat at the very edge, giving Minjoo a space. There was a huge, noticeable gap between them.

Minjoo sighed at the space between them. She couldn’t feel Yujin at all. Why was she terrified of her anyway? As if Minjoo would eat her alive if she ever went near to her.

She moved her hand to rest it on top of Yujin’s thigh, and the action made the latter flinch so hard in her seat but thankfully, the two girls sitting in front of them were too engrossed talking about dinosaurs that they didn’t even notice the awkward, heavy tension between Yujin and Minjoo.

Glaring at Yujin, Minjoo tugged at Yujin’s thigh gently — gesturing for her to scoot closer. And with a blush, the younger woman did, awkwardly scratching her nose but never said anything, a little bit tense.

Minjoo knew why Yujin was so tense; she still hadn’t removed her hand on Yujin’s thigh. Literally, Minjoo could feel how stiff she was.

Their orders arrived and Minjoo still hadn’t moved her hand away from its place, just resting there and drawing some random pattern on Yujin’s clothed thigh with her fingertip to ease some boredom.

Yujin tried to converse with the three though since they kept asking her but there would be a time that she would stutter and pause to take a sharp inhale of breath because of Minjoo’s hand. Pitying the younger woman, she finally moved her hand away from drawing some random stuff on Yujin’s thigh and caressed her free hand instead.

Minjoo played with Yujin’s hand under the table, intertwining them to check if they all still perfectly fit on each other and they were. Yujin had a hard time eating her cake because Minjoo was busy caressing her other hand but she did not complain at all which was a sign for Minjoo to continue.

Thankfully, her daughter was an independent kid — she loved to eat by herself and didn’t need much help as she dug in on her cake, plus, Joorim was there to willingly help her.

Minjoo used her other hand to hold her glass of coffee while the other remained glued on Yujin’s hand.

Well, it was obvious enough for Yujin that Minjoo was being clingy. Actually, holding hands was a little bit normal for them — they did not do it much since the both of them knew it might ignite something between them but sometimes, they would hold hands to comfort and reassure each other or just got caught in the moment.

This time, however, it was something else. Both of them knew that. It wasn’t entirely unpleasant but for the both of them it quite didn’t feel right either. But still, they remained holding each other tight, afraid to let go.

After they ate in the shop, they decided to stroll but Minjoo refused to let go of Yujin’s hand. And Joorim noticed it already but Minjoo wasn’t sure what the former was feeling seeing her and Yujin being a little bit intimate. The dancer was forced to hold little Yujin’s hand instead because the latter insisted cutely.

Minjoo had started a conversation with Yujin too so it would be less silent and awkward for the both of them.

When they entered a toy store, Minjoo felt tired. She kept clinging onto Yujin, shamelessly hugging her while little Yujin browsed through the aisle excitedly while Joorim could only smile tightly at the kid, glancing at Yujin and Minjoo from time to time — obviously enough, she was feeling off.

“Are you tired?” Yujin asked, snaking her arm around Minjoo’s waist as the latter slumped herself on the younger woman’s front.

Minjoo sighed, snuggling closer. “Yeah, you can say that.”

Yujin just held her close.

Minjoo only pulled away when her daughter finally picked a toy she had wanted and bought it for her. Once they got back, Yujin and Joorim were talking happily with each other and the sight made Minjoo irk a bit.

After another hour of roaming around, they finally decided to go home. Joorim said she would stay behind though because one of her friends suddenly told her that she was around the area and wanted to meet.

Yujin drove them home. And Minjoo sent her off with a kiss on the cheek. Little Yujin on the left while hers on the right.

A little bit more…

***

December 01, 2038

The day where Minjoo finally decided to end everything with Jihyeok.

A few weeks ago, he and Minjoo had a huge argument because of their daughter again and about his work. Minjoo honestly said that she was getting tired of it and he wasn’t making his family happy at all.

Jihyeok was in rage because of that and fled from the house — thankfully, their daughter was sleeping upstairs and her room was sound-proof so she wouldn’t be able to hear their shouts downstairs. She also cried earlier that day because her father didn’t show up when he promised that he would spend the whole afternoon and night together so her sleep was extra deep that day.

“You’ve changed,” Minjoo blurted out, her eyes full of tears. And that was the very end of her argument.

That was the last string for Jihyeok also and went mad — he drove away to god’s nowhere. Minjoo cared less about it, and she was just able to cry, regretting her decisions once again. She called Yujin about that, and as expected, the latter was the only one who could make her calm down — offering that she would go there but Minjoo firmly refused, it was late and she could just go there tomorrow.

However, stubborn headed Yujin was — she still went there, and comforted Minjoo. The latter saw how heartbroken Yujin was for her and their failing marriage but she said nothing and lent her shoulders. Minjoo could only chuckle bitterly.

Why did she even expect that things would last like this forever? Minjoo should’ve seen this coming. It wouldn’t really work at all, especially that deep inside — you wouldn’t want for it to work out.

The cracks of her lies were starting to show.

And with that, Minjoo had decided to move. It couldn’t stay like this forever. She would rather expose herself than suffer and lie again. For the sake of herself, for Yujin, and her daughter — she would confess and fix everything up, and place it into the right places slowly but surely.

The next day, Minjoo started to move, driven by determination to fix everything to place, and patch up the lies that she had created to prove something to the world — the lies she did that cost Yujin and her happiness.

This time, Minjoo would rather follow her heart. She was getting older and it was better to live on without regrets and happily. Both of them suffered enough. She wasn’t the coward Kim Minjoo anymore, the Minjoo who didn’t take a risk for her and Yujin — the cowardly Kim Minjoo who kept choosing the choices that would hurt Yujin and herself so they could be saved from the judgement of those awful people.

But Minjoo had decided to be brave. Cowardice had no room in her anymore.

Minjoo immediately took little Yujin to her auntie Yujin and as expected, bringing her to the cafe would lighten up her mood. Minjoo was also in an obvious foul mood because of what happened but that was already enough. She asked Yujin to take care of her daughter for a while and went to her lawyer, asking him that she would like to file a divorce soon and would like him to prepare the papers already.

However, in the middle of spending time with Yujin and her daughter in the cafe that day — there was news about her husband causing a ruckus inside a bar. He had beaten up three men, all of them severely injured.

Jihyeok’s downfall started there. He instantly lost many projects and brands started to drop him after his issue. The damage was too big to stop. In a blink, the career that he built with hard work crumbled down because of one mistake.

Minjoo didn’t talk about divorce for a few days after that, pitying her husband. Even though she was so mad at him, she still pitied him because he saw how he became depressed because of that.

Minjoo’s name got dirtied too but most comments for her were concerned that Jihyeok might be physically abusing her after the actor got into a fist fight with some men that sent them to the hospital. It was really stressful for Minjoo too because Jihyeok got almost jailed since the victims filed a case.

Little Yujin mostly stayed at Eunbi and Yujin alternatively as Minjoo fixed stuff with her husband.

That was the dead end. Jihyeok’s career ended there.

It must be the karma for being too focused on his work, Minjoo would like to believe but even still, she was sad because she witnessed how passionate he was in acting. It was a huge part of his life.

It took them days to fix everything; from the apologizing articles, and other more but it wasn’t enough. The netizens were really cancelling him, and the issue was so big that Jihyeok’s company decided that it was for the better to take a long break in acting or better, retire already because his fault was too big and hard to fix. His image was beyond repair.

He would just get a lot of hate if he would continue on, and he would definitely involve a lot of people unintentionally in his mess. So, without a choice, Jihyeok announced that he would retire from acting.

Everything had escalated so quickly that Minjoo couldn’t catch up, still having trouble catching up. She couldn’t believe that things like this happened.

She then decided that it wouldn’t be the great time to ask for divorce so she endured, still there for Jihyeok even though he did something very horrible. After all, he still loved and cared for Minjoo and they were married.

Minjoo was still guilty that she had led Jihyeok on like that… and she would carry that guilt until the very end of her life.

Minjoo still cared for Jihyeok genuinely though. He was one of the people who treated her greatly and would give her the whole world.

However, Jihyeok turned alcoholic after his career had fallen down — he did not give their daughter any attention and kept drinking, if not, he was in the gym working out drunk. He did not talk to anyone, even Minjoo. And the latter realized that Jihyeok was really a lost cause. Poor man, really. That was why Minjoo didn’t have the heart to break the news to him because he might get depressed even more so she decided to stay.

But when she thought that Jihyeok was going to get better, he even turned for the worse.

Minjoo let him drink and do whatever he had wanted because she knew that he was grieving and suffering. But when Jihyeok suddenly shoved his daughter away when she was asking for affection really made Minjoo angry — she had sent the crying Yujin to her auntie Hyewon and her wife, Jihye while she confronted her husband. It might turn nasty so she played safe and took her daughter away.

“Jihyeok,” called Minjoo when she spotted him drinking at the kitchen again, bottles of expensive whiskey and other alcoholic beverages scattered across the counter top, some rolled on the floor and some were even broken into pieces.

Jihyeok was just leaning against the edge of the counter, downing alcohol straight from the bottle and ignoring her. His eyes were bloodshot, there were arcs under his eyes, hair disheveled, and he was thinner than before — a whole mess. He looked nothing like the man she tried to love. This man before him wasn’t Song Jihyeok she used to know. He was different.

“We need to talk.”

“About what? Nothing to talk about. I’m ed.”

Minjoo gritted her teeth, gesturing to the bottles and all. “This! We need to ing talk about this, Song Jihyeok! Just what are you doing to yourself and life!” She shouted, shaking her head. Seriously, it was heartbreaking to see her husband like this. Even though she didn’t love him like a lover should — it still pained her to see him like this.

They spent a lot of years together, and seeing how things ended like this was really the absolute worst. The gentle, loving, caring, kind, charming Jihyeok that made Minjoo swoon was long gone — replaced by a workaholic, alcoholic, depressed, and ruined Song Jihyeok. He became irresponsible and his priorities went in the wrong direction.

“No need.”

“What the hell is wrong with you? I’m trying to help you out here because just look at you. Please, pick yourself up and don’t be like this. You have a daughter to take care of but instead of trying to distract yourself by being a responsible father and redeeming yourself — you’re just ruining yourself further!”

Jihyeok turned to her, his gaze was sharp, and was obviously mad at what his wife had said. He was agitated. “Shut the hell up.” He hissed.

Minjoo froze. Her heart shattered at the hiss that came from Jihyeok. Never in her life would she have experienced being told by Jihyeok to shut up. But heh, she almost forgot, this man before her wasn’t the Song Jihyeok before. That man was long gone already. But still, she couldn’t help but to feel sad and disappointed.

“I’m so heartbroken to see what you’ve become, Jihyeok.” murmured Minjoo with a disappointed sigh.

Jihyeok was fuming mad and approached her. He wasn’t the understanding, soft hearted guy anymore — Minjoo tried to remind herself. “Oh? Are you?” mocked the man, he was trembling. “Why do you care this is my ing life!”

Minjoo’s eyes narrowed, now, now — he was really being too much. “,” cursed the woman, laughing to herself. “I don’t really know you anymore. You’re really not the Song Jihyeok that I used to know. I don’t know who you are anymore.” She added, and she saw that the man clenched his jaw.

“The Jihyeok I know was kind, loving, caring, would never shout at his wife, charming, and perfect — not irresponsible, alcoholic, ruined—”

Slap.

Minjoo felt her world turn upside down as she felt a sting on her cheek. She was frozen in shock, her head was turned because of the impact of the slap Jihyeok threw to her.

Her heart dropped. No. There was no hope for this man and this ing relationship. Nothing. She didn’t want this anymore. This was too much. He had crossed the line and Minjoo wouldn’t be able to forgive him for doing this. Maybe at some part, she deserved the slap for lying to him for years but still — this was too much.

Jihyeok seemed to realize what he did, and instantly regretted it, regret and fear flashed in her bloodshot eyes. “I-I…” He stuttered, staring at Minjoo, clenching his fists. He looked like he was about to break. “Minjoo-ah, I’m s-so sorry I didn’t know what came o-over me—”

Minjoo, with a sigh, turned to face Jihyeok tiredly — ignoring the numb sensation on her cheek, and the tangy taste in . “Let’s separate. It won’t work out anymore. I want a divorce.”

Jihyeok frantically shook his head, tugging at his hair harshly, and his eyes were wild — he was about to cry, and he was really regretting hurting his wife like that because he lost control. “N-No, no! You don’t mean that. Please, no. I-I’m sorry. Please don’t leave me... I’m sorry for hurting you, darling. I-I will fix myself, just please stay…”

Realization hit Jihyeok like a ten wheeler truck. He had really changed. He would never hurt someone like that, especially his wife. He didn’t know himself anymore. He became so mad that he even crossed the line by slapping Minjoo. How dare he?

Minjoo shook her head, taking a deep breath as she pinched the bridge of her nose. “No. I’ve been thinking about it for a long time now, Jihyeok. You know to yourself that you’ve changed and our marriage is crumbling. I’m sorry but it’s for the better. Jihyeok, please, for me — agree to the divorce because I can’t take it anymore.” She choked out.

Jihyeok went tense, finally — everything was falling to him. He was already crying, he couldn’t believe that everything had turned out like this. Reality was hitting him like , speeding through him and he couldn’t handle it.

“Please, no, Minjoo — I can’t, I can’t live without you—”

“Yes, you can.” Minjoo bitterly spat.

And it was for the better to confess everything all at once.

“You’ve crossed the line, Jihyeok. I hope you will think of your faults well until you finally recognize and realize that it’s indeed for the better if we divorce and stay away from each other.” Minjoo started off after a short silence between them. She tiredly looked at her husband — ex-husband.

Jihyeok did not say anything, just holding his cries while still tugging at his hair — regretting and obviously hating himself at the moment. But still, he nodded, finally admitting his faults. He accepted that he wasn’t being a good husband and father… he recalled all the times he failed and Minjoo was right all along.

“And I,” Minjoo bit her lower lip. “I’m really sorry, Jihyeok-ah…”

Jihyeok shook his head, still sobbing like a little child. “No, Minjoo-ah. You have nothing to apologize for. It’s all in me. I failed as your husband and father. I deserve death because of this and I know you won’t accept me anymore… I know, I know. This is entirely my fault why everything went ruined. You don’t have to apologize.” He insisted, and for a moment, Minjoo saw the old Jihyeok in him — finally accepting his mistakes, and being understanding and not forceful.

Minjoo sadly smiled at her. “I do. I have a fault as well, Jihyeok.”

Jihyeok looked at her, waiting for her to speak. And Minjoo took a deep breath, mustering courage. This was the chance, and it was better if Jihyeok knew everything — that he wasn’t the only reason why this marriage wouldn’t work out anymore.

“I’m really sorry for lying to you throughout the years. And I’ve dragged you, an innocent man, into a mess I’ve created out of cowardice.” Minjoo finally started, she was trembling but she couldn’t waver now that she had started. Jihyeok did not say anything.

“I-I’m in love with someone, madly in love with them. Before we even met, they’re the one who occupied my whole heart. Throughout the years, it’s still them until now. I tried to love you, really. I tried, because I was guilty — I was a coward and I dragged you. I forced myself to prove something to the world yet it was meaningless.”

“Instead, doing that drowned me even more. It was not effective. I still yearned for them, and I couldn’t stop no matter what — even if you’re there to fill the hollow gap in my heart — you couldn’t because you’re the puzzle piece that doesn’t fit in the gap.”

Jihyeok looked like heaven and earth crushed him in between and Minjoo was guilty, feeling a bile rise up into . God, why? Why did she become a coward? Why did everything turn out like this? Minjoo, you would be forever foolish for dragging innocent people in.

Minjoo bit her lower lip, hanging her head down low in shame. “For two decades. I still love that person and what I feel for you couldn’t be compared. I’ve finally gathered the courage to fix everything even though it’s already late. I don’t want things to be like this forever…”

Jihyeok was speechless, he was crestfallen and Minjoo felt her heart wringing inside her.

“I understand you if you won’t forgive me but… I want to make things right so I’m here, confessing and asking for you to let me go. If we continue trying, it won’t work anymore, especially that my mind is already set to make things right. Even if you change. I can’t lie to myself, to you, to everyone anymore. I’m so ing sick of it.”

“So, I’m really sorry. I’m really sorry. I did something much worse than you did, Jihyeok-ah. I lied because I was a coward, I fooled and hurt a lot of people because I didn’t want to risk it.” Minjoo blurted out, and when she finally finished speaking, she couldn’t even breathe.

Jihyeok was stunned at her words, trying to process it. Minjoo let him, well, it was a lot to take in anyway — imagine your wife of more than a decade, wasn’t actually in love with you throughout but to someone else — it was something that shouldn’t be forgiven.

Actually, Minjoo wanted to shrink or just let the ground eat her up. She was so embarrassed at the deed, and now she was asking for Jihyeok to let go? Shameful. But she wanted to try — trying and risking, the things Minjoo was unable to do before… she was actually ready for Jihyeok to shout at her because she was a liar, worse than that even.

She didn’t deserve happiness after dragging innocent people with her into this madness but still — she wanted to fix, she wanted to try and risk. Those people who she damaged, they deserve something better, and Minjoo wanted to give those. It was honesty, that was what they deserved.

So, she was surprised when Jihyeok just sighed and nodded, defeated but he was really crestfallen. However, his aura wasn’t angry or anything — just soft and understanding but gloomy. The old Jihyeok was back…

“Who is this person?” asked Jihyeok, gentle and smiling sadly at her. Minjoo’s heart shattered into millions of pieces. Jihyeok understood her just like that… “Is it Yujin?”

Minjoo was silent, just staring at him while nibbling on her lower lip. Jihyeok weakly chuckled, taking a deep breath, and scratched his head. “So, it’s her… I had a hunch before, y’know? You look at Yujin like… she was your whole world, like you were in love and you’ve never looked at me in that way before but I shrugged off the thoughts.” whispered Jihyeok, smiling bitterly.

Her breath hitched, “I’m sorry.” She could only say.

Jihyeok shook his head at her. “No. You don’t have to say sorry because everything turned out like this. We can’t help to feel a coward sometimes, and make mistakes because we thought it was for the ‘better’ even if it cost our happiness and everything. You don’t have to apologize that your heart remained loyal and still yearned for Yujin even after all these years. But I’m already satisfied that even still, you’ve tried to love me like how you loved her…” His voice trailed off.

Minjoo wanted to cry, and she was just holding back her tears. Jihyeok… he was still a good man but he changed because he prioritized wrong things. Even though he did bad things, there was still a good in him. This was why she tried to work things out — Jihyeok was a lovable guy though he turned into something like this…

Jihyeok took another shaky deep breath and smiled at his wife, well, soon to be ex-wife. “I love you too much, Minjoo. I’m willing to let you go. I won’t force myself anymore because I’m enlightened now. I’ve had my faults so it’s indeed for the better to separate or else I might hurt you further and you might hurt yourself further, I’ll sign the divorce papers and let you go. This is my way to make it up to you after failing as a husband. I deserve this. I’ll be a better father for our daughter soon. I’ll just fix myself...” He said, and Minjoo let out a sob.

“You did well, Minjoo-ah. You’re not a coward anymore. I’m proud of you. Even if things went like this, I’ll still support and love you. I’m sorry for hurting you…”

“Go, Minjoo-ah. It’s never too late to get her back. Get Yujin and be happy. Stop lying to yourself and to the world anymore — be brave and proud.”

Minjoo hugged Jihyeok tight. He understood her very well. Even if it was hard, he still chose to understand her — that was how much Jihyeok had loved her even though things fell apart between them. Jihyeok still wanted the best for her.

“You’re still a good man, Jihyeok-ah. You made me smitten to you. Fix yourself, and be the best guy that you were once…”

Jihyeok just laughed at her, but there were tears in his eyes. He gave up on her because he knew that in the very beginning, he had no chance anyway but he was happy that she still tried. But he loved her too much, and he believed that she still deserved the happiness despite being the one at ‘fault’.

“You too. Fix everything, hmm? We’re not getting any younger but it doesn’t mean it’s too late.”

***

December 02, 2038

“Minjoo?” Yujin was slightly baffled to see Minjoo standing at her doorstep at past midnight without notice. She was about to sleep when she heard her doorbell ringing. It shocked her a bit because she wasn’t expecting any visitors at all in this kind of hour.

So, much to her surprise, it was Minjoo. The woman was there, standing in front of her apartment unit while wearing a small, tired smile — her eyes were droopy and slightly puffy. She was actually looking gloomy yet relieved at the same time. Those were the things Yujin had noticed to the older woman that night.

And well, her cheek… it was a little bit red and swollen.

Yujin was about to comment on it when Minjoo suddenly said, “Can I come in?” With a quiet voice.

Minjoo was always welcome to come in. Without a word, Yujin opened the door wider so Minjoo could slip in. And once the latter was in, she closed the door and ran towards the heater to turn it on for more warmth. It was pretty cold outside too, and Minjoo looked a little bit cold.

After setting the heater to the right temperature, she turned back to Minjoo and spotted that the latter had made herself at home and settled on the couch, looking a little bit relieved. Minjoo was comfortable, she had visited her home a lot of times anyway so she was feeling homey.

Yujin approached her. “Do you want something to drink? Coffee? Hot chocolate?” She offered quietly, fiddling on the button of her pyjamas. Well, she didn’t have the time to dress up more nicely and she was just wearing her usual sleeping outfit plus, Minjoo wouldn’t mind it anyway.

Minjoo looked up to meet her gaze, smiling. “Yeah, I think I need a drink.” answered the woman then added, “Do you have a strong wine there?”

The odd request caught Yujin off guard but she nodded anyway, and walked to the mini wine cellar to get something for the both of them. It looked like Minjoo was in the mood for a drink, something must’ve happened — so Yujin wouldn’t question it and just drink with her. Little Yujin must still be with Hyewon, so she didn’t ask for her.

She grabbed the bottle and two wine glasses for them. Yujin sat across from her and poured wine for both glasses. Minjoo smiled gratefully at her and took the glass, downing the drink like it was water.

The younger woman blinked, taking a small sip. She did not say anything though but she was worried because it was obvious that Minjoo was drowning in her thoughts, her mind was obviously running as she drank wine. She could only watch across from her. She thought that Minjoo would appreciate it if she would just wait for her to start first.

Finally, Minjoo said something once the bottle of wine was half empty. “Yujin-ah,” She called with a sigh. Yujin hummed, placing her empty wine glass on the table, and focused on Minjoo instead, it seemed like she had something to say.

“I’m tired.”

Yujin felt her heart ache at Minjoo’s helpless words. She could see the exhaustion in her eyes. But was she tired because of what? Yujin couldn’t pinpoint that. She didn’t say anything and waited for Minjoo to continue.

Minjoo chuckled bitterly to herself, taking another sip of her wine from her glass, and bit her lower lip. She paused for a moment before continuing, “How about you? Are you still not tired?” asked Minjoo, turning to her.

Yujin didn’t know what to answer, to be honest. She could only crack a smile and joke, “Yeah. I’m tired from working all day—”

“No. Aren’t you tired of counting the years of our suffering?”

Her heart skipped a beat. Minjoo was inserting ‘that’ topic in this conversation and Yujin was unable to think, she couldn’t grasp and catch up because she was slightly getting confused. What was just happening? What with the sudden topic? Why was she bringing this up all of a sudden?

Yujin was speechless, just looking at Minjoo hopelessly. Without a verbal reply, both of them knew the answer.

Minjoo let out a sigh. “Aren’t you getting tired of loving me?” She then asked instead, averting her gaze. “Aren’t you getting tired of this, Yujin? For two decades, Yujin-ah — you’ve loved me restlessly and watched my life unfold with someone else that isn’t you.”

Yujin could feel her breath hitching, she clenched her fists. Of course, Yujin was tired, exhausted even — but she couldn’t stop. There were a lot of times she stopped but in the end, she would still get up and love Minjoo endlessly. She wanted to stop, a lot of times — she even forced herself to just stay put and take a step backward instead but no, it was simply impossible.

Even though Yujin was drained to the very brim, she wouldn’t stop loving Minjoo until she shattered. It was something that she couldn’t control and to be honest, she couldn’t even save herself from that anymore.

“Yes, Minjoo. I’m tired,” Yujin answered, no point in denying. Minjoo froze a bit, stopping swirling her wine and did not move, waiting for Yujin to continue; obviously holding her breath. “But I can’t stop. For a moment, sometimes, I did. However, I would just find myself loving you again foolishly to the point I decided not to halt. What’s the point when I’m going to continue anyway? It’s sickening to try and force myself; I wanted to, to save myself but still — I’ve accepted the fact that I’m willing to lose my own self loving you with all my heart.” She added.

Minjoo’s jaw slackened, taking a sip from her wine, and soullessly eyed the painting hanging on the wall of Yujin’s place.

“Even once every strand of my hair turns gray, it’s still you who my shattered heart will beat to. Even once I release my final puff of breath, it’s our memories I will think of. I’m tired, Minjoo. So tired. But I’m still here, and I will stay even if it hurts until I’m unable to feel that delicious pain anymore.”

Minjoo giggled breathlessly at what Yujin had said, tears were forming in her eyes. Yujin could see that. Even the younger woman was having a hard time breathing — being openly and vocally vulnerable to Minjoo like this… she wasn’t used to doing it.

Ever since the very beginning, Yujin kept her feelings to herself anyway — only showing it if everything was getting too much or if Minjoo was the one asking for her to vocalize it. Well, she was willing to look vulnerable in front of Minjoo; why would she be ashamed of it when from the start, Minjoo knew her undying love for her?

There was a silence between them after that. Yujin poured herself another drink and drank it in one go, a little bit giddy and her heart was drumming after blurting all of those. Even now, her feelings for Minjoo never failed to make her feel something so extreme.

This was really random, but then — anything could happen anytime and in any place. However, Yujin wasn’t really too ready to talk about stuff like this. She would never be ready. Now, she wondered what was with Minjoo that night.

“I, myself, is already tired too, Yujin.” Minjoo broke the silence, turning to face Yujin with her sparkly, honey orbs. “In simply everything, Yujin-ah. I’m freaking tired, and I’m breaking.”

Yujin bit her lower lip, feeling her heart getting twisted into places. Minjoo looked so broken, sad, and guilty.

“It’s so tiring to lie, and it hurts so much that everything became like this because of my untruthfulness. I don’t know how I made it this far and still keep lying to everyone, including to myself — when I’m beyond exhausted already.”

Minjoo emptied her glass, placed it on top of the table, and took a deep breath. She tipped her chin up, meeting Yujin’s helpless gaze — her eyes lowered a bit though, staring at her quivering lips for a moment before shaking her head to snap out of it, laughing to herself.

“Everything’s my fault. Everything became like this because of my cowardice. I don’t know if I still have the right to fix everything but still — I want to try to put everything into place. It took me two decades to muster a little courage to try but I’m determined,”

Yujin’s heart fully stopped beating the moment she had heard that coming from Minjoo’s own mouth, as if her whole world stopped for a moment. She stared at Minjoo, wide eyed — trying to see if she was just joking or anything but no. She was getting dizzy.

Minjoo took a deep breath, flashing a small smile towards Yujin then mumbled, “Maybe, in this lifetime — we’re also meant to be together. It might be late, but it’s better late than never, right?”

“I still can’t accept that we ended up like this, Yujin-ah. I wouldn’t be able to accept that we won’t end up happily together and suffer in pain for the rest of our lives because of the cowardly choices I’ve made.”

At this point, Yujin’s mind already went blank and her heart was beating so fast that it felt like it would stop beating fully in a bit and she wasn’t able to breathe anymore. Those words… those words that Yujin had never expected to hear from Minjoo, she was hearing it.

Those words wouldn’t even sink into her brain anymore.

Minjoo stood up from her seat, looking serious and her eyes were flaming that sent Yujin shivering and trembling from her seat. She was having a hard time believing and processing the words, still.

Minjoo halted in front of Yujin, and stared at her as if she was her whole world. And there was something blooming inside Yujin’s chest, those withered flowers started to relive again. The glint of faded hope was starting to brighten in Yujin’s heart.

Would Yujin hope for something?

“Yujin, are we too late?” asked Minjoo, her shoulders slumped and voice hoarse; a little bit hopeful. She reached for Yujin’s face, and caressed her cheek with her thumb, smiling down at her.

Yujin felt her world shake. No, they were never too late. Even if Minjoo asked her to be hers a day before she died — it was never too late for the both of them. Even if things were messed up, no, it was never too late. Yujin would accept her in any circumstances but...

She couldn’t say anything, the feeling of Minjoo’s hand on her jaw — it was warm, Minjoo was warm. And suddenly, everything felt right.

And when Minjoo bent her back a bit and leaned closer, Yujin felt her heart stop and she went frozen because of their close proximity that she could only smell vanilla — Minjoo’s scent infiltrating her senses and her mind went blank because of it.

Minjoo leaned down when her last bit of self-control finally popped and disappeared like a bubble, shakily pressing her lips on Yujin’s stiff ones — finally claiming it after two decades of torture and dreaming how it felt like to kiss Yujin and taste those lips that would haunt her dreams and daydreams.

This time, she really didn’t hold back anymore. She waited for so long for this moment to happen, and that was the same for Yujin. The kiss was magical as expected, there were explosions in her chest as she kissed the person who she really loved. It tasted sweet yet bitter but everything nice; wine mixed with regret, hope, and longing.

Yujin was malfunctioning because Minjoo was kissing her tenderly — she was kissing her! A scenario that only happened in her dreams. She would admit that most often, she would think of Minjoo’s kiss and how it would feel. And it tasted like something that she had been craving all along — something that she didn’t know how she lived without it. As if another missing puzzle fitted into the gap.

It was so wrong yet it felt so right.

Yujin lost herself, and melted — she didn’t think of anything, she could only think of Minjoo. Only Minjoo who was kissing her, Minjoo who also never stopped loving her, oh — her Kim Minjoo…

She was about to close her eyes and respond back to those desperate, eager kisses but then she stopped. A line had been crossed. And suddenly, Yujin turned cold. Minjoo was married. She was married, and not with her. This wasn’t right! It would never be right.

They couldn’t do something like this. It was a sin. Infidelity, and Yujin didn’t want to make Minjoo a sinner.

Yujin stood up, pushing Minjoo away from her, breathing heavily. Her lips tingled, swollen after getting thoroughly kissed by Minjoo. The latter was confused as she was shoved away, a flash of hurt written in her eyes.

“N-No, we can’t. I,” Yujin stammered, wiping her face with her palm, frustrated. Her whole world started to crumble again. They couldn’t be.

Minjoo her lower lip, looking at Yujin with sparkly eyes. “Did I read it wrong?” whispered the woman, also looking a little bit withered, gulping.

Minjoo thought that Yujin was done with her. But the latter even said that she wouldn’t stop loving her, and even until now — it was still her! But why? Why did she push her away? Did Minjoo move too fast? Well, she lost her last ounce of self-control, unable to resist the temptation to claim those lips fast.

Suddenly, Minjoo wanted the ground to eat her up. For her, it wasn’t too late but for Yujin, it already ended a long time ago? Was that it?

Yujin released a frustrated sigh, shaking her head. “No, no. You’ve read it, right, Minjoo. It’s just that… you’re married… I-I can’t do this to your husband and daughter. I’m willing to be a sinner for you but you? I don’t want you to fall into that.” explained the woman, looking away.

Minjoo was dumbfounded, but then — she laughed. Yujin looked at her confused.

“So, that is the thing that worries you?” Minjoo asked in disbelief, shaking her head in amusement. God, she had almost thought of something else. How foolish of her. Of course, she still hadn’t told Yujin about her plan. Ah, Yujin was still righteous and concerned even though they were caught in the middle of a heated moment.

Yujin nodded like a puppy. Minjoo giggled at her, approaching her closer and reached for her face, pinching her cheeks and cooed at her while the younger woman just stared at her, confused but guilt was consuming her already.

“I’m slowly fixing things, Yujin-ah. And I won’t do something hastily like this if it’s not reasonable. I’ve caused enough troubles for the past years, and I will never commit such a mistake again.” Minjoo vaguely explained with a grin.

Yujin stared at her, puckering her lower lip. Still not enlightened.

Minjoo smiled at her. Ah, this woman didn’t look like a thirty-five year old. And she loved her with all of her might — she was still regretting why she made things run this long. Oh, when she could’ve kept this girl for herself ever since the very beginning.

Maybe today, they were still the happiest… if Minjoo just confessed back that very day…

“Me and Jihyeok are over, Yujin-ah. Our marriage is falling apart and you know that. It won’t last long anyway because my heart wants and needs you. I’ve officially filed a divorce and we talked just earlier…” Minjoo finally answered, smiling at Yujin.

Finally, Minjoo had said everything she needed to say. If Yujin would still accept her then that would be the best thing to ever happen to her. She knew she had hurt Yujin greatly and she didn’t deserve her anymore but it would be more painful if she wouldn’t try and remain as a coward, right? At least if Yujin rejected her, this time — she would have the very inner peace.

Yujin stared at her.

Minjoo took the silence to continue and finally asked if it was okay for her to pursue her when suddenly — Yujin reached for her face, holding face gently and delicately, as if it was a fragile, dainty glassware. Then, Minjoo realized that Yujin was looking at her swollen cheek, the cheek that Jihyeok had slapped earlier.

Minjoo became tense when she witnessed how Yujin’s expression turned into absolute rage. Her eyes were flaming in anger and hatred.

“Did he do this?” asked Yujin, her voice was low and dangerous — an upcoming storm.

Gulping, Minjoo forced a smile. This was really bad. “I’m fine, seriously, Yujin. It’s okay — I confronted him earlier, and well, yeah — but it’s all good now. I’ve told him that I love you and he accepted it, and let me go… I did something much worse, Yujin. I deserve something more than a slap—”

“So he ing did this to you!?” Yujin’s voice raised, and the veins on her neck started to pop. She was obviously furious because of that, and Minjoo was getting terrified because she had never seen Yujin snapping like this.

In her whole life, Yujin was patient and forgiving, she never became too angry at something. This was the first time Minjoo witnessed her like this, rage and hatred engulfing her, resentment flaming in her eyes.

Minjoo panicked but she couldn’t lie either, “When we talked earlier, he just lost his control—”

“Motherer!”

Minjoo watched in horror as Yujin dashed to get her car keys and coat, frantically wearing her shoes. Her eyes were wild, and obviously, what she had learned was past the limit. The older woman could only run after Yujin. “Yujin, where are you going?” She asked, holding Yujin’s arm to stop her. They were already in the empty hallway, and Minjoo closed the door because Yujin did not even bother to close it.

Yujin turned to her, her eyes were bloodshot. “To kill that son of a !” She answered, pressing the elevator frantically until it opened. They entered the elevator and Minjoo was getting really scared because Yujin looked angry and serious for real.

“Yujin… it’s okay, let’s not just mind him, alright? Let’s go back and talk about us,” Minjoo bribed, holding Yujin’s arm tightly. She could feel her trembling in anger.

Yujin scowled, “I won’t let it ing pass, Minjoo. He physically hurt you! I stayed silent when he started to become an irresponsible father and husband but this? I will ing kill him for doing that to you.” She said, and the elevator dinged, the doors opened — the younger woman dashed to the parking lot and Minjoo hurriedly trailed behind her angry lover.

Minjoo knew she couldn’t stop Yujin so she just followed her. And throughout the ride, she thought her soul would leave out of her body because of the speed. Yujin was driving over the speed limit but Minjoo couldn’t even say anything, just praying and holding on her seatbelt for her dear life. Damn, if they ever got into an accident — Minjoo didn’t even get to enjoy happily being together with the love of her life. And her daughter, oh gosh, she didn’t want Jihyeok to raise her.

Thankfully, there were no traffic or police that rushed after them after getting caught that Yujin was speeding. And soon enough, they reached Minjoo and Jihyeok’s house.

Yujin did not even park her car properly on the driveway and just hopped out of the car without even turning off the engine. Minjoo held Yujin’s sleeves, trying to prevent her from barging in just like that. She was really scared of what Yujin might do to Jihyeok.

Yujin might be a woman and looked fragile but she knew martial arts and was still training until this very day so she was skilled in extreme self defense. She could take down people taller and muscular than her.

They went inside the quiet property and Minjoo was still trying to stop Yujin but the latter was way stronger than her so she could only be helplessly dragged by the taller woman.

Yujin almost broke their doorbell because of how harsh she was pressing it — actually, punching it. Minjoo was sweating so hard, she had never expected for this to happen, really! Well, she knew that Jihyeok slapping her was out of the line but Yujin’s reaction was way worse than she had expected, she really looked like she was about to kill.

And when the door opened, it was revealed that it was Jihyeok who was looking a little bit confused, and he looked better than when Minjoo had left her earlier.

“What—”

Yujin pushed him inside the house harshly, grabbing his collar, and threw a punch that made him stagger a bit on his feet. Jihyeok was really surprised, he was holding his jaw, wide-eyed; also confused at what was happening.

Minjoo gasped, holding Yujin back with all her might. “Oh my god, Yujin. Stop. Calm down!” She shouted, distressed but Yujin did not mind her at all, glaring at Jihyeok.

Jihyeok was about to say something but Yujin threw another punch, he dodged it, thankfully — and held Yujin’s hand, looking at her. “Stop! What the hell,” He yelled but Yujin just pushed him harshly until he hit the back of the couch, and landed on his bottom, helplessly sprawled on the floor.

She took a few steps backwards, and glared at Jihyeok who was still holding his jaw, there was blood on the corner of his lips. Minjoo was really getting anxious.

“I’ve already given her up to you,” Yujin started off, still breathing heavily, her fists shaking. “I’ve ing gave up on her because she chose you and willingly loved her from afar, watched you and her’s lives unfold without a word.”

Minjoo was stunned, she held Yujin’s arm, squeezing it. Yujin took a deep breath but the intensity in her eyes remained. “When in fact, I can ing ruin both of your lives by chasing after her until she becomes mine. But no, I became selfless and supported her decision even if it means it’ll break me into pieces. That’s how much I love her, and I’m willing to let her go — I watched her fall into your arms, and married you but I never complained and stayed by her side. I gave up because that’s her decision and I love her too much.” She continued.

Jihyeok was silent, lowering his gaze on the floor, looking like a guilty puppy. Yujin gritted her teeth, and continued speaking with her tone laced by absolute anger that Minjoo could feel the hair on the back of her hair stand up.

“I gave her up just like that because I know you were good for her. I saw that you were a good man, very perfect for Minjoo. The one who would treat her well, and my heart was at ease that at least — she would end up with a nice man that would treat her like a queen.”

“For a decade or more, I stayed even if I will lose myself in the process witnessing the both of you getting happily together, even having a daughter. I can’t complain because Minjoo chose you and not me. She did not risk it with me and decided to play safe with you.”

“But I did not say anything at all. No word of complaint fell out of my mouth because I knew these decisions were the ones Minjoo wanted. I witnessed everything, Jihyeok. Even if I got hurt in the process. I was happy for both of you, and just stayed at the side.”

“I never said anything when you were starting to become irresponsible and workaholic to the point you’ve shoved your family aside. I’d catch Yujin and Minjoo both willingly anyway but still… I did not say anything because I did not want to dwell and just took care of them.”

“But this?” Yujin gestured to Minjoo, looking at Jihyeok in disbelief. “This is the result of my sacrifices and pain!? If I just ing knew, I didn’t let the chance pass and chased Minjoo like a madwoman. If I just ing knew that Minjoo will suffer into something like this, I shouldn’t have let you take your shot and killed you the moment Minjoo introduced you to me.” A sharp intake of breath, Yujin looked at the ceiling, trying to calm herself down.

Minjoo could only clutch on Yujin’s arm, clenching her jaw. Yujin’s words were so intense and burning that even Minjoo was affected. Hearing these all from Yujin really pained her… the woman really just suppressed the urge to try all over again until Minjoo gave up and also finally risked it with her. She just respected Minjoo’s decision.

Those regrets were starting to haunt her but the damage had been done. Minjoo promised to herself to not beat up herself for doing those anymore after two decades of letting those negative feelings haunt her because she couldn’t change back the time; she could still fix it anyway — by making things right, and she was doing it now… she shouldn’t feel this way anymore because she was finally trying, at least.

A little bit late but never too late…

Jihyeok still did not say anything, looking like he really wanted for the ground to eat him up. He was really guilty and ashamed for hurting Minjoo like that, it was obvious enough, and regretting his harsh action. But he was too embarrassed to say anything except for, “I’m really sorry…”

Yujin gave him a huff and moved her hand to grab Minjoo’s wrist, giving him one sharp look. “You will never touch her again. Not on my watch.” She spat, there was a venom under that dangerous tone.

Minjoo’s heart skipped a beat.

With that, Yujin dragged Minjoo away from the house. Taking her away from Jihyeok. Just with her.

***

Minjoo just found herself sitting on a very familiar seat, in front of a very familiar scenery before her, in a very familiar place. Of course, Yujin would bring her here, in their safe haven. A place where the both of them only knew.

After the intense happenings earlier, it was quiet between them. Throughout the ride, no one really said anything. And they just walked here side to side quietly and Minjoo was getting suffocated already. She was itching to say something but Yujin looked like she was thinking deeply so Minjoo let her, just staying quiet.

Minjoo then turned her gaze to Yujin who was peacefully staring at the night life city Seoul in front of her, and her eyes lowered — and saw that Yujin’s fist was a little bit red, must be after she punched Jihyeok square in the face.

That was Yujin’s limit, Minjoo guessed. When Yujin learned that Jihyeok indeed hurt her physically, it was past the point and completely broke her temper, patience, and understanding all at once.

Without thinking of it much, she grabbed Yujin’s hand and gently rubbed at the red spot. Yujin noticed her action, glancing at her gratefully then watched Minjoo caress and soothingly rub her knuckles.

“I mean it,” Minjoo started off when she finally realized that Yujin had finally snapped into reality so she used the moment between them as a chance to speak up. “What I said earlier… I want to pursue you, Yujin. If it’s okay with you. I’m done pretending and lying. I know it’s a little bit late but I really want to make things right. Let’s stop our suffering…” murmured the woman.

Yujin did not answer, just watching her with an unreadable face. Minjoo was slightly nervous but she would take any answer anyway. She knew it was a little bit shocking and too much to take in for Yujin’s part.

But she was willing to wait anyway.

“I know. I know your words are genuine and sincere, Joo-ah.” Yujin finally responded after a few moments of silence. Minjoo hummed, intertwining their fingers instead. “But,”

Minjoo looked at Yujin who was wearing a conflicted look. “...I don’t know.” She added, looking a little bit frustrated. “This is just… too much? I — I pined for you for two decades and counting, and this… I don’t know what I want, Minjoo. And, and — you’re still newly divorced…” She whispered.

Time. Yujin just needed time to process everything and think of what she should do. Minjoo understood that very well. She might need some space too, and maybe tons of reassurance. Minjoo was ready to give them to Yujin. Plus, she needed to settle the divorce papers too, it would be a little long process.

Minjoo would chase Yujin around like a fool if she needed to. After all, Yujin deserved to be the one who would get reassurance now, and Minjoo should always show how much she loved and wanted her. Minjoo would court Yujin.

With that, Minjoo smiled dashingly at her lover, giving a reassuring squeeze on her hand. She stared at Yujin — those eyes were still the same as ever; mesmerizing and never failed to hypnotize Minjoo. The eyes that held the whole universe in them.

Sometimes, Minjoo couldn’t believe that they were really getting older and the fact that they were in their late thirties was baffling because it felt like everything was the same… it felt nothing had changed throughout the years.

“I understand, Yujin-ah.” Minjoo whispered, raising their joint hands and pressed a kiss on the back of the younger woman’s hand. Yujin watched her, eyes sparkling. “I’m willing to wait anyway. Even if it might take a thousand years. You’ve waited long enough, and it’s my turn for a change.” She added, staring right into Yujin’s chocolate orbs, drowning herself in those.

A flower bloomed inside her heart.

“I will chase you until the very end of the world.”

***

hello HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA #minjooxjihyeokdivorceparty #jinjooendgame ?? its pretty rushed since i have a wordcount limit lol