The entire group struggled during Mina's dark period. They were in the midst of a world tour when only 8 of them returned. The show must, of course, go on. They continued with the scheduled concerts, remaining strong and united despite being incomplete for the hundreds of thousands of fans who were waiting for them.

Mina's absence was felt by all members, but Jeongyeon felt it the most.

After about a year since their debut, Jeongyeon began to fall for the girl. They were a newly formed girl group at the time, driven by their dreams of making it on the scene and proving something to the world. Their group grew in popularity over time, and not a single household in South Korea didn't know who they were. They eventually became well-known in countries all over the world. However, as they became more famous, their personal space shrank.

Some people believe that being popular entitles them to more freedom and power. That could be the case in some cases. But nothing could be further from the truth as an idol.

Yes, fortune is a given, but other than that, the places you can visit are limited. How you travel, who you hang out with, where, and why becomes an issue. What you say, don't say, how you say it; what you wear, don't wear, how you wear it — becomes highly scrutinized and taken into account. To survive in that kind of industry, one must have a strong support system.

And as a group of 9, that’s exactly what they have.

The dynamic they have is beyond flawless. They are genuinely nice girls with different personalities, each with their own stories but similar flames burning within. They have mutual respect for one another that bloomed into something more substantial because of shared experiences and hardships, molding them into one strong family unit.

Because of their close bond and the small world they shared, finding romantic love within their circle would not be such a rare occurrence.

Jeongyeon is one strong, confident, and independent woman. Starting as a young girl, she fought to secure her spot where she is right now. But one can only enjoy independence that much if you are not as big a celebrity as them. Almost everything is planned and decided for them. 

This is a huge part of why Jeongyeon finds happiness in caring for others, especially her members. She finds satisfaction in cleaning; it gives her the feel of taking control, of accomplishing something, whether it be a simple task. She finds comfort in being able to help her members, the fulfillment of making a difference in someone’s life no matter how small.

These are her pockets of joy. The quiet independence she created where she finds herself. Where she is more than just a brand or an image; where she establishes a human connection. And yes, there’s also Mina.

She loved taking care of her. At first, it was more like a reflex for her to be of assistance to Mina. Sturdy support whenever Mina crumbles behind the camera. Not that the girl is weak, which is quite the opposite. Mina was strong in her own ways. Her resolve, her focus, her tenacity, the tenderness of her heart, the softness of her voice, the beauty of her mind, her elegance as a whole — all of those and a lot more she couldn’t put into words — made her fall for Mina. 

It was easy loving her. And it felt so much easier still as her affections were reciprocated. Mina never held back when it comes to making her feel loved and taken care of. 

Which was why Mina’s hiatus took the biggest toll on Jeongyeon.

When Mina pulled back from the tour, they had to go through it until the end. But Mina went home to Japan to rest and recover. They cried during the concerts, but Jeongyeon held it all in. Undeniably, she worried a lot. But it took all her willpower to stay strong for Mina and to remind herself that it was all for the girl’s well-being. 

In their previous dorm, all nine shared the entire place. But with their new living arrangements, they were still all together in one building but were divided into three units.

Jeongyeon shared a unit with both Jihyo and Mina.

It was a physically, mentally, and emotionally tiring tour for the group. But Jeongyeon was happy because when they got back, Mina was with them again.

It wasn’t the same as before, though. Mina was the type to always stay at home when everybody enjoyed various activities outside. Jeongyeon usually stayed behind, too, spending their rest days together building Lego or playing computer games.

But the Mina that came back didn’t want to play Lego. Nor did she engage in their regular computer battles.

Jeongyeon didn’t mind. As long as Mina was there with her, she didn’t mind. 

One evening, when Jihyo was hanging out next door with Nayeon, Momo, and Sana, Jeongyeon knocked on Mina’s room.

“Mina?”

There was no answer.

“Mina, I know you don’t want to play games. But I miss you. Could you please come out and eat with me? I ordered your favorite — a tub of ketchup with bits of food on the side.”

With that, she heard a soft laugh inside the room, followed by her signature small voice, “I’ll be there in a minute.”

Jeongyeon smiled to herself. It felt great hearing Mina laugh, no matter how short it was. She prepared the food and Mina’s large tumbler filled with cola. They ate and cuddled on the sofa and binged on action movies.

It always felt nice being next to her, having her close, and being together. Mina is Jeongyeon’s safe place. Her home.

In one particular action-packed scene, Jeongyeon stole one long glance at the girl cradled under her arm. The television light reflected on her face. Jeongyeon moved her hand to run it through the soft, black strands of Mina’s hair. She leaned closer, and it smelled the same way as always — of jasmine and lavender, the shampoo scent she regularly used. 

“I missed you. I missed this.” Jeongyeon said softly.

Mina looked at her, smiling. “I love Yoo,” she said.

“I love Mi, too,” Jeongyeon responded.

It was their inside joke. The other members find it corny, but to them, it made sense. And it never fails to make their hearts beat a little faster as if they have their own language in their own little world.

Before the second film ended, Jeongyeon heard a tiny snore. She chuckled lightly, then put one arm around Mina's neck, and the other cradled both her legs. She lifted her sleeping ball of sunshine and carefully placed Mina on her bed.

Jeongyeon was cleaning the food they left when Jihyo came in. As usual, you’ll hear her loud voice first before you see her.

“Jeongyeon, I’m back! Did you eat already?”

“Yes, and lower down your voice mic Jihyo,” Jeongyeon responded. “Mina is sleeping in my room, and I forgot to close the door. She might wake up if you blast around in full volume.”

Jihyo stopped in front of the television, her back facing Jeongyeon. She stood there for a couple of seconds, so Jeongyeon had to ask:

“What are you doing?”

To which Jihyo responded, “Looking for the remote.”

Jeongyeon rolled her eyes. “Even with your big eyes, you won’t see what you’re looking for if you don’t move!”

“Oh, my poor tired eyes,” Jihyo playfully exclaimed. “You did great today.”

Jeongyeon looked over and saw Jihyo pat her eyes as if congratulating them for doing a good job. 

“You weirdo,” Jeongyeon chuckled.

After Jihyo went into her room, Jeongyeon found the remote control right where Jihyo was facing earlier. She shook her head in disbelief and turned the TV off.

In Jeongyeon’s room, Mina was sleeping peacefully. She laid down beside her, careful not to wake the girl up.

She loved staring at Mina. Each chance she gets, she takes her time memorizing every delicate curve, every crease, and each beauty mark on Mina’s face. She kissed Mina gently on the lips. The girl stirred, gently opening her eyes, matched with the beginnings of a beautiful smile.

“I will always take care of you. You know that, right?” Jeongyeon whispered.

Mina shifted on her side to face Jeongyeon and look deep into her eyes.

“And I love you for it,” Mina smiled. “But you shouldn’t always put others before you, baby. It shouldn’t always have to be me.”

Mina caressed her face lovingly, and Jeongyeon held her hand to keep it there. She closed her eyes and relished the warmth from Mina’s touch.

“It’s my choice. I will keep on choosing JeongMi.”

With eyes still closed, she heard Mina chuckle softly.

“Still so stubborn, Yoo,” Mina sighed. “At the most important times, please remember to also choose and fight for Jeong. You.”

Jeongyeon seemed to get what Mina was trying to do with the words like they always do, so she clarified:

“As in Jeong, me.”

Mina laughed with her soft, musical laugh.

“Yes, Yoo Jeongyeon. You.” Mina smiled proudly at her. 

“Because Mi chose you. So please keep honoring my choice and don’t only love Mina. There will always be JeongMi, but remember to not only love the other half of it. Also, love Yoo for Mi.”

“I should also love Jeong, me,” Jeongyeon repeated.

“Yes, baby. After all, you are my ultimate bias.” Mina winked.

Jeongyeon laughed sleepily. "And we are my ultimate ship."

She pulled Mina closer and wrapped her in an embrace.

“You are my heart’s rest, Jeong.”

“As you are mine,” Jeongyeon replied.

-

When Jeongyeon woke up the next day, Jihyo’s round eyes were right in front of her. She yelled in surprise, turning on the other side of the bed. She screamed again, not knowing Nayeon was there.

Both girls laughed out loud and greeted her good morning while peppering her with kisses. They knew she hated it, but they kept on doing it anyway.

They each took one hand and pulled her up, taking her to the kitchen. They made her sit at the table where food was already prepared. 

Jeongyeon was still disoriented, but she knew these two girls couldn’t possibly have prepared all those tasty-looking dishes.

“Where did you get these?” she asked.

The two girls exchanged glances, and Nayeon started to explain, “Well, we tried cooking earlier—”

“It was fun and all, but I guess too much fun meant not too good food,” added Jihyo.

“So we called your dad to cook for us! Yay!” Nayeon finished, doing a little victory dance.

Jeongyeon smacked her head then laughed at the silliness of her two best friends.

“I haven’t even washed my face yet. I’ll be back.” She left the two debating over something about the recipe of one of the dishes.

When she passed Mina’s room, she knocked.

“Mina? Dad brought food. Do you want to come and join us?”

There was no answer.

Two steps forward — then it hit her.

Mina will never be able to answer.

Before Jeongyeon hit the ground, her two best friends were there in a flash as if they were expecting it.

She cried until she couldn’t breathe; sobs wracked her body. Jihyo was holding her head with both arms, hugging it close to her chest. Nayeon was at her back, wrapping her from behind in a tight embrace. They were on the ground like that for what seemed like half an hour. Nayeon and Jihyo rocked her back and forth, telling her how much they love her, that they will never leave her side.

After a while, five other members came running at them. Nayeon and Jihyo were replaced by Sana and Momo, while Dahyun held her hand and cried. Chaeyoung wiped Jeongyeon's tears while her own lips trembled. Tzuyu was patting her head gently as tears flowed down her face freely.

It all came crashing down on her. The memory she unconsciously buried.

Mina was in a car with their former manager unnie. It was during their concert tour when Mina asked to go somewhere. They grabbed a cab because they weren't in Korea, but unfortunately, they ran into an accident that took Mina’s life. Their manager survived and eventually got to still work as a manager but for a different group.

But Mina — she will never be able to answer any of Jeongyeon’s knocks anymore.

Jeongyeon went on hiatus after that.

But it will never be the same. She will never be the same. She knew she would come back not with JeongMi, but with only Jeong, me.

-

“At the most important times, please remember to also choose and fight for Jeong. You.”

Jeongyeon seemed to get what Mina was trying to do with the words like they always do, so she clarified:

“As in Jeong, me.”

Mina laughed with her soft, musical laugh.

“Yes, Yoo Jeongyeon. You.” Mina smiled proudly at her. 

“Because Mi chose you. So please keep honoring my choice and don’t only love Mina. There will always be JeongMi, but remember to not only love the other half of it. Also, love Yoo for Mi.”

“I should also love Jeong, me,” Jeongyeon repeated.

“Yes, baby. After all, you are my ultimate bias.” Mina winked.

Jeongyeon laughed sleepily. "And we are my ultimate ship."

She pulled Mina closer and wrapped her in an embrace.

“You are my heart’s rest, Jeong.” 

“As you are mine,” Jeongyeon replied.