Key watched silently as Jinki took another step forward, a genuine smile plastered on his lips. Key felt his heart stammering against ribcage, but forced his face to remain calm. Key ushered the lady next to him and handed her hand to Jinki.

“Please be happy always.” Key told them. Jinki was beaming as he nodded. Luna gave Key an apologetic look but thanked him.

Then the couple stepped away, facing the pastor. Key turned away, holding back the tears that were threatening to fall.

He left the church without looking back.

The first time Key walks away, Key cried his lungs out when no one was around. He gathered his breaths, collecting the pieces of his broken heart alone. He told himself that he would be okay.

“Kibummie hyung!”

The ponytailed hair boy was running to Key. Key faked a smile, “Hey, Taemin.”

“Are you really leaving?”

“Yeah.”

“Where to?”

“I don’t know.”

“Will you ever come back?”

Key sighed as he leaned forward and pecked Taemin’s forehead.

“I don’t know.”


 

“Oh come on, Key, it’s my wedding we’re talking about… You need to be there!”

“Will he be there, Jjong?” Key asked, adjusting the cell phone once again. He was multi-tasking; chopping the vegetables as he talked on the phone with his best friend. It was an International Call – Jonghyun at Korea and Key in Paris.

“He who? Jinki hyung?”

Key accidentally cut himself. He hissed as he rinsed the wound under the running water.

“Key?”


 

“Hyung!”

Minho never changes – Key thought – as the deep voice greeted him when he opened the apartment door one day. The boy was still tall – his hair was no longer long, it was cut short and neat. He grew a few more cm but other than that, he was still the same Minho.

“Minho? What are you doing here in Paris?” Key snapped out of his thoughts. The dongsaeng in front of him gave him a sly smile.

“I came to find you.”

Beep.

Kibum-ah? How are you? It’s been a while since I last seen you. I got your number from Taemin. Call me some time, ok?

Beep.

“Are you going to continue replaying that voice mail forever?” Minho rolled his eyes. “You know you miss Jinki hyung. Go see him already.”

“He’s married, Minho-yah.” Key chuckled bitterly. “I’m fine just missing him like this.”

Minho let out a deep sigh. Kibum frowned.

“Why are you here, anyway?”

It was the second week that Minho had stayed over at Key’s apartment.

“I told you I came to find you.”

“I know, but what about Taemin?”

Minho hesitated before answering Key.

“He’s preparing to get married to Jonghyun hyung. Didn’t he tell you?”

Key’s eyes widened.

“What the ? Since when…”

When Jonghyun told him that he was getting married, Key had thought it was to Jessica, Jonghyun’s girlfriend for going to 4 years. He never expected 2min to break up and Taemin ending up with Jonghyun.

Minho looked miserable – now that Key noticed.

“Let’s go back to Seoul.” Key proposed.

“Why? I don’t have the courage to attend their wedding.” Minho replied solemnly.

“If you truly loved him…” Key grabbed Minho’s shoulders. “Don’t let him go.”

Minho looked into Key’s eyes. “You should’ve told yourself that when Jinki hyung got married.”

Key gave a weak smile.

“I know. Which is why I don’t want you to end up becoming like me. I’m a bunch of regret and misery right now and believe me it being like this. So pull yourself together, Choi Minho.”

Minho nodded, determined.

The wedding bells chimed. Key felt nostalgic – he remembered about Jinki’s wedding again. But today wasn’t the day he had to pity himself. It’s the day he had prepared himself mentally to be there to comfort Jonghyun once Minho took Taemin away (which Key was certain would happen since 2min was inseparable to begin with).

Jonghyun was beyond happy to see Key there. The latter’s heart ached slightly from his guilty conscience.

“I wonder if Minho would come.” Jonghyun murmured.

“I saw him.” Key patted the older man’s shoulder.

“You know, I don’t actually have feelings for Taeminnie.” Jonghyun told Key. “It was an arranged marriage – both of us didn’t want this to happen. But well, at least I’m married to someone I love as a dongsaeng… It’s not that bad, right?”

“Jjong.”

“Yeah?”

“What about Jessica?”

Jonghyun’s smile faded instantly. “She cried. A lot.”

“She would.”

“I still love her.”

Key pinched Jonghyun’s cheek.

“Then what are you doing here?”

“Cheers!”

Taemin, Minho, Jonghyun and Key were inside a family restaurant, toasting. Jonghyun called off the wedding. Taemin and Minho got back together, and Jonghyun managed to contact Jessica and they patched back as well. Key was happy for all of them.

“Why don’t you call Jinki hyung, Key?” Jonghyun asked.

“Whatever for?” Key raised his eyebrows.

“Well, it’s been months since you talked to him.” Minho joined in.

“You were both so close last time. We thought you’d end up together with him.” Taemin blurted.

Key drowned another cup of beer in one shot.

 

You thought wrong.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Beep.

Hey? Key? Kibum? Jonghyun called yesterday and told me you’re in town. Can we meet? Let me know.

Beep.

Beep.

Key? Why do I get the impression that you are avoiding me? Did I do something wrong?

Beep.

Beep.

I miss you.

Beep.

Key let his tears flew freely. He was back in his old apartment – he would be leaving Seoul again in 2 days. His heart was aching badly from the thought of Jinki, Jinki and Jinki.

Jinki frequently left voice messages but Key decided to ignore them. He couldn’t bear talking to Jinki. He knew he wouldn’t be able to restrain himself and tell Jinki everything he had bottled up inside. He knew he wouldn’t be able to control himself if he saw Jinki.

I love you. I love you so damn much. Why did you have to get married with Luna? I want you to be happy, but why am I dying inside? Why do I keep missing you? I thought it’d be easy to let go. But I can’t seem to forget about you and it’s killing me. I love you so damn ing much, Lee Jinki.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Key had lost track of time. He was washing his face for the nth time that night when his doorbell rang.

Puzzled at who could that be, Key opened the door, revealing a smiling Jinki.

“Finally I found you.”


 

Key didn’t have to ask what Jinki would like to drink: black coffee, with two teaspoons of sugar and no milk. He couldn’t forget it even if he wanted to.

“So tell me what have you been up to for the past five months.” Jinki initiated the conversation.

I have been working my off trying to get you out of my mind.

“Nothing much. Mostly I was occupied with my school assignments. And part time job.”

Jinki nodded. He sipped the coffee before smiling at Key again.

“Your coffee still taste as perfect as always.”

Key returned the smile halfheartedly.

“Can I stay over?” Jinki asked. Key frowned.

“Uh… Sure? What’s the occasion?”

“I just miss you. A lot.”

“Okay.”

It was past midnight. Key ushered Jinki into the bedroom.

“I’ll sleep on the couch.” Key told him. “Make yourself comfortable.”

Before Key could walk off, Jinki caught his wrist.

“Stay with me, Kibum.” He pleaded; his goofy smile was replaced with a serious, stern look. “We can sleep together.”

Key felt his heart beating in ungodly speed. This was bad. This was so bad.

But his thoughts became even more incoherent as Jinki’s lips covered his own, circling an arm around his waist.

He let the kiss took place for five good minutes before he snapped and realized that he was making out with a married man.

“No, Jinki, don’t.” He breathed, placing his hand on Jinki’s face. “This is not right…”

But he found that he didn’t give a damn even if this was wrong as Jinki leaned forward again and kissed him, this time deeper, more lustful, more wanting. They found themselves stumbling into the bedroom; Jinki’s hands roaming all over Key’s body while the latter hooked his legs around Jinki, closing the space between their bodies. Soon the room (which Key remembered to be silent all the time) was filled with the sound of gasps, moans and heavy breaths.

They made love that night, something that Key knew he would regret later, something he knew would make the scar in his heart gape wider, but at that moment, he couldn’t – didn’t care.

The following morning when Jinki wakes up, Key had already left.

 

Weeks passed since Key slept with Jinki. He cursed himself for messing up. He was back in Paris; but no matter where he was, every time he closed his eyes he could only see Jinki.

It was killing him even more. His already shattered heart was getting numb from the excessive pain he felt everyday. He tried to drown himself with more part time job slots and assignments. He was amazed at how his body hadn’t broken down from being pushed to the brim with very little sleep.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to sleep. He couldn’t sleep at night.

It was a Wednesday when Key heard his apartment doorbell rang. He was just done cooking breakfast and he had class in an hour time, so it was a bad timing for guests, but he opened the door anyway.

And there stood Luna with her tummy slightly bigger than Key had recalled.

“I’ve missed you, Oppa.” Luna confessed sincerely. Key patted her hair fondly.

“You didn’t tell me you were pregnant.” Key uttered.

“It’s hard to contact you.” She retorted. “I had to practically stalk Jonghyun Oppa for three days straight to get your address.”

Key chuckled softly. Luna was his best cousin all right.

“I came here to ask you for a favor.” Luna told him.

“All the way to Paris, just for a favor.” Key reconfirmed. “What’s so important that you can’t tell me on the phone, Luna?”

“Key Oppa.” Luna grabbed Key’s hand and looked into his eyes. “Please talk to Jinki Oppa. You both need to sort things out.”


 

Key decided to ditch school that day. He skipped his work as well.

He lied on the couch motionlessly, eyes on his ceiling. Luna had left hours ago, but her words were echoing in his mind.

“Jinki Oppa and I divorced a little over a month ago. The paper is still in the procedure but we practically separate ways. He had always loved you, Key Oppa. He never looked at me, not even once. He never touched me even after we got married.”

“The baby in my womb is not his. It’s Ryeowook’s.”

Of course Key remembered Ryeowook. He was Luna’s best friend ever since her high school days. Luna had also informed him that Ryeowook would be responsible for the child. Key wished them all the blessings he could offer.

Beep.

Key… Will you stop running away from me?

Beep.

 

Key smiled. Jinki’s voice finally rang through his voice mail after 3 weeks of no contact.

He remembered all the words he had said to Minho and Jonghyun when they were about to make the biggest mistakes in their lives. Now was the time for him to man up and stop running away.

And he booked the first flight available the next morning to go back to Seoul.


 

Jinki was in a mess (slightly different from Key who became workaholic, Jinki practically locked himself at home). He had dark circles under his eyes, his chin rough from not shaving ever since God knows when. He couldn’t remember the last time he slept – or ate – or drank. He couldn’t find any motivation to even move.

It was torturing. Key never stopped running away from him. Every time he felt like he had caught Key, the latter would slip away and disappear again, making Jinki feel heartbroken all over again. Like during his wedding with Luna. Jinki had planned to call it off before he said; “I do” to tying ties with Luna. But Key had disappeared and Jinki realized that the latter didn’t care if Jinki was marrying someone else, so he did otherwise. (Which was something he misunderstood completely, obviously.)

He groaned as his stomach grumbled, protesting for some food. He got up grumpily and headed to the bathroom, washing his face. He was met with the sight of the worst looking man he could ever meet in front of him – his own reflection.

“Sigh… No wonder Key doesn’t fall for me.” He mumbled, pouting.

He then shaved (finally) and bathed. He dressed himself in a t-shirt and a pair of casual jeans. He was about to leave house to buy some food when the doorbell rang.

Could it be Minho? Or Taemin? Jonghyun did say he would drop by… Jinki stretched a little as he turned the doorknob sideways.

“Mind giving me a hand, here?” Key smirked as he balanced all the groceries in the bags he was carrying.

Jinki found out that his jaw could open wider than he thought it could.


 

Jinki fidgeted in his seat. Key was busy whipping out a meal – kimchi fried rice, Jinki concluded from the scent – while the older watched the younger. His stomach was singing choruses of ‘feed me feed me ahhhh’ but Jinki ignored it.

The next hour was followed by silence – only sound of spoon and fork hitting the plates or chewing could be heard. Jinki hadn’t dared to meet Key’s eyes, but he could feel that the younger was watching him intently.

When they had finished their meal, Key told Jinki to relax elsewhere while he cleaned up.

Fifteen minutes later, Key joined Jinki on the couch.

“Don’t you have something to say?” Key prompted. Jinki’s brows furrowed.

“Like what?”

“Like why did you barge into my apartment and me that night.” Key scoffed.

“I didn’t you.” Jinki defended. “You practically enjoyed yourself.”

“Sure, sure.”

Jinki pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I’m not dreaming, am I? Kim Kibum just entered my apartment a moment ago, cooked me dinner and now he’s beside me, muttering some nonsensical fictions about me him.”

Key chortled. He hadn’t laughed for a while now, but Jinki was being silly and he found it funny.

“No, you’re not dreaming. I’m here.”

Jinki blinked. Once. Twice. Thrice.

“You’re going to go away tomorrow morning.” Jinki accused.

“No, silly. I’m here. I’m here to stay.” Key grinned.

And then Jinki lunged forward and attacked Key – pinning him to the couch as he rained the younger with kisses.

“God, I love you Key.”

Key scowled, but he didn’t attempt to run away this time.

 

The following morning, Jinki stirred. He shifted himself and felt the boy next to him moved. Key’s arms were still around his waist, embracing him. He leaned down and pecked the younger’s forehead.

“I love you, Kibummie.”

Key hummed in response. Before Jinki fall back into his slumber, he felt Key tightening his hug.

“Love you too, as always.”

This time, Key stays. Jinki feels complete.