“I love her”

 

With her soft voice, winter heard what karina just said. Winter look at karina’s direction as she studied her face, looking for any hint of humor. After a few seconds winter‘s forehead creased in the realization that karina was serious. She sighed.

 

“Ang weird mo makipag hiwalay yooji” winter joked as she take a seat on the nearby bench.

 

“win”

 

“bakit?" winter turn her head to look at karina’s direction. “bakit karina?”

 

To be honest winter didn’t know why she’s asking that question, it doesn’t make sense.

 

“winter please-”

 

Winter cut her off and with a smile on her small face winter motion karina to take the seat beside her. “here take a sit, i dont bite naman“

 

Of course karina hesitated she didn’t budge but winter is persistent.

 

“Take a sit yooji, hindi kita sasaktan…hindi ko kaya”

 

“winter”

 

“kidding! joke lang upo na kasi. I just want to know why” winter said. “because if this is you breaking up with me. I think I deserve some explanations too”

 

Karina sighed. May pag alinlangan man ay umupo siya sa tabi ni winter.

 

 

“I love her.” The taller woman started.

“I know”

 

Karina saw the pain on winter’s eyes but she need to say it. For once she want to be honest with herself.

 

“I want to be with her, im choosing her this time winter”

 

“I know you love her pero karina piliin mo naman ako.. choose me, I promise you hindi kita sasaktan. I promise I wont ever leave you- I promise I will keep on choosing you everyday yooji.” winter said as she tried to reach for karina's hand but karina didnt let her.

 

"winter.."

 

Winter bit her lower lip as she stifle her sob. She know that right from the start this day will come, karina leaving her. She thought she’s ready but damn it hurts.  Her heart is clenching painfully and her eyes, her eyes is burning. She wanted nothing but to bawl her eyes out in pain. Cry and cry until her tears will dry.

 

“winter I want to be fair with you.”

 

Fair? You’ve been nothing but being unfair karina. She wanted to shout those words to karina’s face. She wanted to shout, to scream. She wanted to convince karina to stay. She wanted to beg.

 

Desperate.

 

But she didn’t.

 

Winter held back her tears. She took a deep breath, calming herself as she turned to the taller woman.

 

“Ganito pala talaga ang mangyayari kapag nagmahal ka ng taong hindi pa tapos magmahal ng iba”

 

“Im so sorry “ the taller woman replied gravely.

 

“Stop saying sorry, wala na ding magbabago “

 

“I know “karina answered dejectedly.

 

Silence.

 

“Yooji please be honest with me”

 

“Ano yun”

 

“You were there right? You were almost there, muntik mo na akong mahalin.” winter whispered.

 

Karina nodded her head.

 

“Im almost there win. I almost love you.” karina pointed her chest where her heart is located. “ kaso this heart- yung puso ko win nasa kanya na talaga simula palang. I can’t no longer lie win. Sa kanya ako masaya- sa kanya ako sasaya”

 

“Paano naman ako?” her voice begun to crack.

 

No winter don’t cry.

 

“Aren’t you happy with me karina?”

 

Seeing winter’s face like this breaks karina’s heart.

 

“Im happy with you win” karina said sincerely. karina cupped her face as her eyes began to get teary. “trust me im happy with you winter”

 

“Pero mas masaya ka sa kanya”

 

“Mahal ko siya win”

 

And with that winter burst out in tears. She cried, sobs going past her beautiful lips as she reached for karina’s shirt. She hugged karina tight. Clutching at the hem of her shirt holding onto her like her life depended on it.

 

“It hurts because I’m never the one…she’s always the one”  winter softly stated. karina hugged her tighter, whispering her apologies to the younger girl’s ear.

 

“Im sorry” karina cupped her face as her eyes began to get teary.

 

“I told you, don’t be sorry”

 

Winter smiled at her as she caressed karina cheek with her left hand. karina closed her eyes for a second as she was trying to keep her tears from falling. She opened her eyes as soon as she felt that winter is slowly pushing her, creating small distance between them.

 

“I loved you so much that I stopped loving myself” winter whispered sadly. “ Pagod nako yooji, pagod na pagod na akong maging pangalawa. Nakakapagod din pala yung ikaw nalang laging mas nagmamahal. I can’t do anything na. I can’t make you love me”

 

Winter cupped karina’s face, brushing her hair. She caressed karina’s cheek with her thumb as she stared in her eyes.

 

"I guess if I really love you.. I should let you go”

 

And with that winter kissed her forehead.

 

Winter kissed her goodbye

 

“I don’t regret loving you, please be happy karina”