Unnie, you’ve always been so convinced that fate is what brought us together. But I wonder now if that was a blessing or a curse? Was it really too selfish of me to wish to stay by your side forever?

A warmth, feels like being basked in the early spring sunlight. White, stretching in every direction, as far as the eyes can see. I think I’m waiting for someone, or something, but I cannot remember what or who. Everything is silent save for an annoying persistent beeping that I wish I could stop, but I don’t know where it’s coming from. Finally I see a silhouette in the distance, it feels so familiar. I think it’s the person I’ve been waiting for so I run towards it, trying to reach, but it keeps walking away. I want to scream for them to wait but no words come out. I’m so tired but I keep running. I feel so helpless I want to cry. Please wait! Don’t leave me here!

I don’t remember the first few days or maybe even weeks very well. Everything felt like a blur. All I recall are many unfamiliar faces peering down at me all around. Looks of concern, worry, curiosity, excitement all mixed in their expressions, made me feel like a monkey on display in a zoo. And the splitting headaches while I drifted in and out of consciousness, between fantastical dreams and horrific nightmares that felt all too real it sometimes blurred my perceptions of reality. But through it all there was a singular constant. She had a soft voice, skin bright as tofu, and a cute eye smile that is etched into my mind because it was such a rare deviation from her usual wistful expression. She was like an angel sending me a warm ray of shining light and it pushed away all the nightmares, everything about her felt familiar, felt natural, felt safe. Unlike this cold, sterile hospital room that I’ve been living in for how long, I’ve lost count. Maybe about three months now, feels like years. I’ve asked the hospital staff, nurses, doctors, people claiming to be my relatives, everyone who’s ever visited, they either dodged around it or tried to convince me that she must have been a figment of my imagination while being heavily drugged up. No one would tell me anything, but I can feel she’s real. But if she’s real why hasn’t she visited me again?