The Truth Untold by BTS.

 

***

 

“You don’t belong in here,”

 

Yujin gasped, trying to lift up her limp body away from the dirty, cold floor of the dungeon. Her head pounded, her cheek stung from the endless slaps thrown, her side hurt because of the kicks she had received from these ruthless monsters. Yujin was hurting.

 

The poor girl’s breath hitched when another kick landed on her stomach, and she fell completely — her front landing on the stone ground with a soft thud, letting out a groan as she clutched at her aching stomach. She tilted her head a bit, desperately looking up at the three people surrounding her with wicked smirks plastered on their faces, like they were proud of what they were doing, and disgusted that someone like Yujin had existed.

 

Well, they were.

 

“You should die. I don’t know why Mother still let you live for a long time.”

 

Yujin wondered too. She would rather die than suffer, rather than experience this pain all over and over again. She was tired. She was already hurt. She never asked to live, she never asked for this. It wasn’t like she liked what she was, it wasn’t her fault but why were they mad at her?

 

Gritting her teeth and slackening her jaw, Yujin held back herself from pouring the words out that were stuck at the back of . She couldn’t retort something, she couldn’t or else she would receive more pain from then. She knew better, she knew she shouldn’t say anything because she would get something much worse and she already had enough of it.

 

“You deserve to die, you freak. I can’t believe that we share the same blood. Ours are pure but yours… it’s dirty. Disgusting, dirtied half blood.”

 

Oh, yes, blood. They were all mad at her because she wasn’t pure, she wasn’t pure noble. Yujin was the illegitimate child, and they were the real children with nobility — the ones who deserve to live like royals. And a bastard like Yujin deserved hell for being someone who she didn’t even have control of. Not like she asked to be the offspring of two people who weren’t supposed to fall in love with each other.

 

Yujin — she was the illegitimate child of the great Duke of Irexio. The plus one in the royal family that didn’t belong to be in there. She wasn’t a pure noble, therefore, she wasn’t treated as one even though technically, she was still a daughter of a powerful man. She was treated like garbage in the palace, a training dummy too, and a slave.

 

The sole reason why she wasn’t dead yet was because of her so-called ‘father’. He cared for her but at the same time he didn’t. He loved her but because she was the only remaining memory of his true love or his mistress. Yet, he never showed it. He never treated her as one of his children; however, he pitied her. He saw Yujin as a small responsibility that his mistress left. Yujin wanted and hoped that he didn’t just care at all.

 

Everyone hated her, everyone gave her disgusted looks, everyone gave her pitied looks, everyone around her hated her because she was the ‘mistaken’ result of a forbidden love between the duke and a poor gardener of the palace. She was the reminder of the duke’s infidelity and unfaithfulness to his wife, the duchess.

 

Growing up, Yujin learned a lot. She learned that the world could be this harsh, and its people. She learned that one could be hated for doing nothing but existing alone. She learned that life was unfair, cold, and difficult.

 

Damn it, she was barely twelve, for god’s sake yet she was already suffering a lot. She was already broken.

 

“You know what, you little monster. You should be taught a lesson. This will serve you as a reminder that you’re nothing but dirt.”

 

When one of the children whipped out a knife from his trousers with a devilish smile on his lips, and gaze so deadly and full of dangerous intent — Yujin knew she should escape but she was trapped. She was cornered, and she was too weak to fight back or even attempt an escape.

 

She trembled when the other one grabbed her by her hair, pulling her up until she was kneeling, and Yujin could only let out a choked whimper as she felt her scalp get stretched to the brim. The grip was harsh, and the blunt nails dug into her scalp painfully. Hot steaming tears started to pour from her eyes, her lips were quivering.

 

“Please, stop,” pleaded Yujin, her voice was weak and hoarse but the three siblings just laughed at her terrified face. “I’ll do anything you guys want. I’ll leave this palace immediately. I’ll be away from you all.” desperately begged the poor child, even clasping her calloused, dirty hands together as a sign that she was begging genuinely.

 

A strong hand gripped on her chin harshly, making her turn to face him, and Yujin never loathed a face this much. They were the freaky ones, they were the monsters. Not her. Not her.

 

He raised his hand, and slowly brought the knife to her forehead — Yujin’s breath got caught in when the tip of the blade rested against her skin. She couldn’t breathe. She was so scared. And when the tip finally pierced her skin a bit and stung hit her, Yujin could feel her world crashing.

 

When the knife moved — it was fast, a slash. The blade got dragged to her nose, cheek, and until to the corner of her lip — tearing her skin apart. An unbearable pain hit Yujin, her whole face felt like it was getting burned. She let out a loud, piercing scream of agony as she landed on the ground again, grasping for her wounded, bloody face while shrieking, choking, and gasping in pain.

 

Her screams were mixed with laughter from the children, and they just gave Yujin a smug glance before scurrying away from the scene, leaving the girl bleed with a proud laugh echoing on the deserted, dark pathway.

 

Yujin didn’t even know anymore, and all she could feel was pain, and she could see red. They tore her skin apart for fun. They wounded her greatly because they thought she deserved it. They let Yujin experience agony because she was their half-sibling that they couldn’t accept.

 

All Yujin wanted was for everything to be put to an end.

 

It felt like an eternity but she still lived despite the injury she got. She thought that the agony would be endless. However, a guard found her bleeding on the floor while crying, and immediately dragged her to the healer.

 

Everything still hurt. Everything still stung. Yujin was starting to go numb when the duke entered the slaves’ chambers where the poor child was staying. She didn’t even spare him a glance, just staring at nowhere with her one blank eye. Her other one was covered with a bandage because the long wound almost caught it. The wound still hurt like but it was bearable than when she just got slashed with it.

 

The duke looked at her with sad, pitiful eyes, and Yujin felt rage all over her. She hated him, she hated those devil children, she hated the duchess, she hated everyone who hated her for living.

 

She didn’t even react when the duke kneeled by her bed, still staring at the space in front of her with a blank face.

 

“You, child,” The duke started off, his voice baritone, and laced with sympathy, and regret but Yujin didn’t care. “Will be sent off away from the palace.”

 

Why, Yujin wanted to jump in joy, she wanted to get out of this hellhole already anyway but she was too hurt and angry to do or say anything so she kept still, thoughts running around her head as she let the duke continue with whatever he wanted to say.

 

“You will live in an old castle located at the very end of the city, secluded, and in the middle of the forest where people in this place won’t be able to reach and bother you no more. You can live peacefully there, Yujin, in solitude. Alone. I will send my guards once a week to give you your needs, just tell them whatever you want and they will be given to you in an instant.”

 

The duke was giving her a chance of freedom. The duke was giving her an escape. The duke was giving her peace. And Yujin would gladly take his offer in a heartbeat. She was desperate, she was thirsty for solitude.

 

“I’m sorry for not being a good father, Yujin. Live the life you want, away from this madness.”

 

***

 

Full of loneliness

This garden bloomed

Full of thorns

I bind myself in this sand castle

 

Yujin silently strided on the empty hallway, holding a basket full of newly washed tunics as she gently hummed a random tune on her way. It was silent, very silent that it was deafening — only the gentle rustle of the leaves glued into the trees, and the chirps of the birds from the distance could be heard around the wide property alongside Yujin’s own soft pitter pattering of footsteps. But she was already used to it, and she had always loved the quietness this castle offered her.

 

Now a fully grown woman, twenty years old already — Yujin was living the best life. And it had been like this for years already, and it was for the better that it would be like this until the very end of her breath.

 

This old worned out abandoned castle located far away from the palace of Irixio was Yujin’s home, her safe haven, and she wouldn’t trade anything for this place. She fell in love immediately in this place when she stepped foot inside the property for the first time. This was the place where she truly belonged.

 

People might think that living in a castle like this would be boring, and scary but to Yujin, it was what she had been wanting. It was peaceful, and she never did once get so sad — having another presence around the castle besides the stray animals were unwelcomed. She would rather be alone, and the mindless animals were better company than those annoying guards that would visit her every week to give her food and other stuff.

 

Even though Yujin learned how to hunt (perks of living in a forest, one must be always ready), they never stopped coming by once a week to check on her. Yujin would always greet them with a scowl, and a hiss, immediately shooing them away as soon as possible because she didn’t want to be bothered. And having people around her just irked her, it must be the trauma. She never let anyone enter her heart, ever. People were cruel in as many ways as possible and she didn’t want to do anything with them.

 

Honestly, Yujin could live without the duke’s support anymore. She was skilled in hunting, and she already knew how to scrub the floor clean, and sweep the dust from the floor ever since she could walk. She knew how to wash, clean, and cook — also defend herself.

 

And if one must be curious, she still sometimes got out of the castle — she would roam around the forest and stroll, make friends with the deers or linger by the waterfall nearby. She sometimes climbed the hills nearby to check the magnificent view of the whole city of Irexio. She would stargaze if it was night, and if it was day, she would lazily eye the blue skies and take a nap.

 

If she was being brave, she would walk until the very border of the forest, take a peek at civilization, and watch them curiously so she wouldn’t be too missed out in modern life but she wouldn’t show herself, always remaining hidden behind the shadows of the trees.

 

Yujin placed the basket on the archway, and walked to the castle grounds. She let the gentle wind hit her exposed skin, and she took a lungful of fresh air. A smile instantly formed on her lips when she spotted the flowers from the distance, already seemingly waving and dancing upon her arrival.

 

Some stood tall, and beautiful, some were on the ground, resting in the soil, and some slithered around the old, cracked walls, and archways. Nonetheless, the mixed, different kinds of flowers were beautiful to look at. And Yujin never got tired of admiring them, tending them, planting them.

 

Even when she was still a child, Yujin had this fascination over flowers. Maybe it was her late mother’s influence, who was a gardener before she had died because of childbirth. She had died because of Yujin. That fact sometimes made her sad, and wonder. What if her mother was alive, were they living in a place like this full of flowers? Even if it was a smaller place.

 

At first, when Yujin discovered the garden of the abandoned castle, the flowers were all withered, very few had been barely alive. And that made her heart break, immediately tending the flowers with all her might — asking the guards to give her things that would save the beautiful flowers rather than food for herself. For months, she tried to resurrect the garden until eventually, they all came back to life, blooming beautifully, and giving the castle a life — it was livelier than when Yujin got here first.

 

Soon enough, the flowers increased rapidly, and Yujin asked for different kinds of flower seeds to be sent to her, and she would plant it then tend them when they grew. Almost half of the property of the castle was surrounded by colorful flowers. She had never been this proud. It had been her dream to grow flowers, and take care of them.

 

The garden was definitely the heart of the property, and Yujin’s favorite place in the whole world. Gardening made her happy. Flowers made her happy. Just seeing them beautifully grow, bloom, and dance along the wind made Yujin’s heart warm. It was her joy.

 

Yujin eyed the roses, and she crouched to check it, gently touching the petals, almost getting pricked by its thorns. They bloomed beautifully, and even though this kind of flower could hurt, they were still eye-candy, one of Yujin’s favorite flowers.

 

But sometimes, Yujin couldn’t help being lonely. Well, the flowers always made her feel nice and happy, and accompanied but still, human’s presence was still a different comfort. However, Yujin loved to push people away, it was a reflex. She would rather die in loneliness than be surrounded by people who always liked to act like ruthless monsters.

 

Flowers… they were enough to get her through the day. She was content in this peaceful, quiet castle full of beautiful flowers.

 

This was the life Yujin sought for, the life Yujin had been desperately praying for. And it was more than enough.

 

***

 

What is your name

Do you have a place to go

Oh could you tell me?

I saw you hiding in this garden

 

Yujin knew, and Yujin had always felt when another presence would step in the castle. Almost as if the castle was a part of Yujin’s soul, well, it almost was.

 

The property might be wide and pretty spacious but there was just this feeling that would intensify within Yujin whenever a stray, unwelcomed presence would take a step inside her place. It rarely happened — the guards were already expected, but people other than them were a different case. There was a time a lost traveler stumbled upon her humble abode, and tried to sneak into the castle in awe. Yujin shoved him away with a threat and an arrow aimed at his head, and the traveler ran off from the place while shouting that she was a monster.

 

After all, the old castle was in a very secluded place, and the pathways to reach the said place were complex and difficult. One would get easily lost indeed, it was very hard to enter it. The outer appearance could intimidate people not to enter it already so it was a win on Yujin’s side.

 

So when she felt the familiar feeling bubbling in her stomach, Yujin immediately got up from her lying position. She was taking her usual afternoon naps on the pile of hay that she gathered on the tower but then, it looked like this day wouldn’t be too peaceful like she had thought it would be.

 

Out of instinct, she reached for her black cloak — immediately wrapping it around her body, and let the hood fall until her face was hidden before swiftly taking her mask and weapon — a bow, and a few arrows, slinging the bag she personally designed to carry them on her shoulders. She then sneakily peeked through the huge hole of the tower that offered her the full view of the castle grounds and garden as she wore her mask.

 

A figure caught her eye. Yujin crouched, and squinted her eyes a bit to get a clearer view of a figure running in the castle grounds but the moves were careful, as if the person was observing if they weren’t alone. It looked like this lost human entered the destroyed gates from the front.

 

Yujin couldn’t see much so she finally went downstairs, just two floors below from the tower, and peeked through the window. She watched the figure get nearer, and nearer, and let out a growl when the lost human approached her garden — seemingly inspecting the fence that was surrounding, and guarding the garden.

 

And much to her surprise, the figure started to climb the fence. There was when only Yujin realized that the person was a woman, she only noticed the long, disheveled jet black hair, and worn out dirty dress that almost looked like rags sewn together to form a clothing. Yujin couldn’t see her face though, it was too far for her to distinguish such facial features, and her long locks would always cover her face — cascading like a beautiful wavy waterfall.

 

Yujin grumbled something under her breath when the woman finally got to sneak inside the garden. She went to the ground floor, rounding to the gate that would lead to the garden, and hid by the archway — she was a little bit confused when the woman was just standing rooted on her spot, seemingly admiring the beautiful flowers.

 

But then the woman slowly turned around, drowning herself at the sight, and when she finally faced Yujin’s direction — the woman with a scar across her face was left frozen at her hiding spot, her lips parted a bit.

 

The woman was beautiful, probably the most beautiful woman to ever exist in Yujin’s opinion. Her skin was unhealthily pale which made the dirt on her skin highlight even more. She was slim, a little bit shorter than Yujin herself, and she couldn’t tell if she was older or younger at all. A charming smile was plastered on her pink lips, and her foxy eyes with warm honey orbs were sparkling in adoration as she eyed the flowers. Her nose was proud, with her eyebrows prominent, and jawline sharper than a sword.

 

The worn-out dress that almost looked like a rag fit her, even though it was ugly and dirty, she made it look beautiful. And Yujin noticed that she wasn’t wearing any footwear, she stood there barefoot — dirt painting her feet. She was slim but looked like she was starving.

 

Now, who must be this exquisite intruder of Yujin’s castle?

 

Yujin didn’t even realize that she was staring so much that she almost got spotted, if she just didn’t duck on time when the woman spun around again.

 

The mysterious woman then walked to the flowers closer, caressing them gently in awe, mumbling something under her breath that Yujin couldn’t hear. She was like that for a while, caressing and staring at the flowers with a gentle smile on her beautiful face, she looked peaceful, and Yujin couldn’t help but to gape longer, observing and watching the intruder’s movements intently that she forgot that the woman literally entered her property without permission.

 

This stranger perfectly blended at the sea and wall of flowers. She was like a flower herself….

 

Yujin should shove her away, scare her away, and make her leave the castle in an instant but she just found herself not doing anything but stare from her hiding spot, not letting her presence be known.

 

Curiosity bubbled within her, pity spreading through her cold heart. Yujin suddenly wanted to come closer, and greet her gently, ask where she came from, and probably ask for her name like making friends with a stranger. Just seeing the state of this woman… It made Yujin wonder. Was she living a good life at least? Was she just very poor? Well, judging by her dress alone, she must’ve been living a difficult life. She just hoped that she was not suffering from physical abuse or anything — she hoped that she wasn’t experiencing the life Yujin had before.

 

Yujin wanted to know all about this woman. She wanted to show herself and ask why she stumbled upon this place but…

 

Freak. Monster. Ugly.

 

Hissing at herself, Yujin shook her head at that. It wasn’t the right time for that kind of thought, right now.

 

She didn’t even notice immediately that the beautiful stranger’s face fell all of a sudden, the sweet smile on her lips faded as she eyed the flowers sadly. Yujin’s eyes widened when she witnessed how the woman tore off the flowers from the soil, taking them away, clutching them desperately.

 

It was then Yujin realized that her flowers were getting stolen but she couldn’t find the will to get up, and stop her. She just let the woman pick the flowers from her garden, and when she already got a handful, she immediately ran towards the fence, climbing it with the flowers tucked on her dress while she held some. She had a hard time climbing up this time because her other hard was occupied grasping the flowers she had stolen.

 

Yet Yujin just watched the flower thief escape, ran away from the castle, and disappeared. The woman only went out of her spot when she finally processed what happened, gritting her teeth in anger as she marched down towards the garden — eyeing the empty stems and spots in the soil. The flowers were nicely stolen as if the stranger knew that if she would take the flowers away harshly, it would ruin the other remaining plants.

 

Why, she thought that woman looked nice — like an angel — but in fact, she wasn’t. She stole her flowers. She stole the flowers Yujin planted, grew, tended with all her might just like that. Looks could be really deceiving.

 

Yujin was fooled, and she was angry because of that.

 

That day, Yujin spent her remaining day planting another batch of flowers, and all night, she stayed up late to guard her garden, paranoid that her flowers might get stolen again.

 

When midnight fell, the woman came back — she entered the property of the old castle, and climbed on the fence, invading the garden again. She looked the same — she was still wearing the same dress but she looked a little fuller that night, she was glowing a bit despite the lack of lighting.

 

Yujin was taken aback at the sudden appearance, and she was drowsy already so she didn’t get to move from her spot. She was leaning against the wall, with her cloak tightly wrapped around her, and her hood securing her face.

 

But instead of standing up, and shouting at the girl, she let the woman tiptoe around the garden — she knew that the stranger had already noticed her but she didn’t do anything, just quietly walking to the flower bed, and picked the flowers silently as much as possible. Yujin was left to feel the presence lurk around, and couldn’t move her tense muscles even just a bit.

 

However, while trying to feel her presence around, she felt even drowsier for some reason. Just the gentle pitter pattering of footsteps around the garden made her calm despite the situation she was in. She should stand up, and confront the woman, not pretend to fall asleep so she could peacefully steal her flowers but yet…

 

Yujin didn’t even notice that the woman went a little bit near her, whispering something before rushing to get out of the castle’s property, and the woman instantly fell asleep after that.

 

“Thank you,” The whisper was very quiet, and soft, almost inaudible. Yujin barely caught it because sleepiness took over her just like that.

 

***

 

And I know

All of your warmth is real

The blue flower your hand was picking

I want to hold it but

 

It didn’t end like that. The nameless flower thief continued to steal from her garden every other day. Sometimes, she would enter the garden in the afternoon or sometimes, at the middle of the night. It had been happening for two weeks already so Yujin already got to observe the time of her arrival.

 

And every time it happened, Yujin would always pretend to be asleep on the very end corner while guarding the garden but unbeknownst to the beautiful stranger — she was awake the whole time, sensing her presence, and letting her freely steal the flowers she grew passionately and with hard work. In other times, Yujin would hide inside the castle, and watch the woman steal from afar. She just let the woman enter the garden swiftly, pick the flowers, and escape in a rush while clutching the beautiful flowers she stole — afraid that she might ‘wake’ the owner up and get caught.

 

Yujin didn’t know, really. She didn’t know why she was letting the woman steal and go away just like that when she could’ve done something. Maybe she was curious about the woman. She was curious of her name, she was curious of her life, she was curious about everything that related to her.

 

And just maybe, she was a little bewitched.

 

After stealing countless times, Yujin noticed the small changes like; the flower thief finally got herself a footwear, and her dress didn’t look like it was made from rags anymore, it wasn’t silk but it was better than the dress she was wearing the first and second time Yujin had seen her. She looked like she wasn’t starving all the time but still, she looked unhealthily pale — Yujin had caught her coughing sometimes while picking the flowers that she had to take a deep breath a few times before continuing to take them away.

 

Well, after observing that, Yujin became even more curious. She didn’t even realize that she had begun waiting for the woman to come, always anticipating her arrival. She would always perk up whenever she had felt the same familiar sensation bubbling within her.

 

She knew that the woman was real. She wasn’t just a fragment of her imagination because despite the distance, she could feel the warmth from her.

 

And well, something changed within her too. Because of what kept happening, Yujin thought that she might be doing a good deed by letting the woman steal her flowers. Well, it was getting stuffier in the garden anyway because there were too many flowers besides — she could always plant another batch, she loved to plant anyway. There was a routine; when the woman would steal, Yujin would plant the flower seeds afterwards. It wasn’t like the woman was hoarding the flowers, she was not leaving the garden balding — she would just get a bouquet-like amount of them then flee.

 

Yujin couldn’t help but to think a lot. The flower thief had always occupied her mind these days, thinking about her, and the possibilities as to why she was stealing her flowers and all. And she also couldn’t help but to notice the small details about the woman like how she picked the flowers very gently and carefully like it was saddening for her to take such beautiful flowers away — those small details would always engulf her mind.

 

She would fall asleep while thinking about how the nameless flower thief would delicately pick Yujin’s favorite flower, Blue Aster. She would dream of holding those slenders hands that would pick her flowers with her own, intertwine their fingers together tightly. She wanted to hold those… it had been her secret desire recently, she greedily wanted to but…

 

You’re a monster, you’re ugly, you’re a freak. She won’t hold your hands.

 

***

 

It’s my fate

Don’t smile to me

Light on me

Because I can’t get closer to you

There’s no name you can call me

 

Unfortunately for Yujin, maybe, this was indeed her destiny, her fate. To be hidden away in solitude. But slowly, she was slightly getting mad of what everything had become for her. She was peaceful, she was alone but she was lonely, and she couldn’t bring herself to step outside, and mingle with people like normal humans do.

 

She was slowly getting tired of the life she had grown used to, the life she thought that fitted to be hers. And she was starting to think that it was because of a woman who would come into her castle, enter the garden without her permission, and steal her flowers.

 

Sometimes, Yujin was feeling brave to show herself, and talk to her but she would always fail, cowardice would always get the best of her last minute when the woman already entered her garden. She would hide back or pretend to be asleep against the wall again from afar.

 

The woman really did nothing on her though, except when she whispered Yujin ‘thank you’ that night. But Yujin had always felt her gaze lingering on her when she was pretending to sleep, and she would always spot the thief looking for her presence around the place when she was hiding, and watching from the castle.

 

It did something on Yujin’s heart because she knew the stranger was searching for her.

 

But then, one day, the flower thief managed to catch her at the castle. Yujin was too careless that time, letting herself get exposed peeking near the archway. The woman saw her, and was shocked also when she spotted her from the garden. Yujin remained hidden though, leaning away, hoping that the woman wouldn’t do anything, and just ignore her. She had already let her steal her flowers all the time anyway.

 

When there was no footsteps or anything, Yujin finally took a peek again, tightly gripping on her hood. And she was beyond shocked to see that the woman was standing by the opened gates of the garden (Yujin would always leave the gates unlocked so the woman didn’t need to climb on the tall fences anymore. She started doing that after a week of witnessing the woman struggle to leap off the wall, and almost got injured more than once).

 

The flower thief in all her glory, standing there tall while holding the flowers she had stolen that day, and facing her way. She was very beautiful even from a distance, really. And it wasn’t just that — she was smiling. She was smiling gratefully and sweetly at Yujin, and her eyes sparkled.

 

Yujin’s lips parted in awe and shock. But it didn’t last long because after a few moments, the woman finally turned her back, and rushed off — disappearing from Yujin’s sight again.

 

Because of what happened, Yujin’s heart was raging inside her chest. But she couldn’t do anything but think of the woman’s smile… She must’ve long realized that Yujin was letting her steal the flowers for free.

 

The woman was smiling at her, and Yujin was lost in the light. The ache to get closer to her, and hold her, pick flowers and give it to her intensified within her even more, and she was scared. She couldn’t. But Yujin knew that once that thief would smile at her again, she would fall and she would be enticed to move closer and closer — and she couldn’t afford that, praying to the deities.

 

“Don’t smile again, please.”

 

Yujin brought her fingers to her face, tracing the painful scar that was left permanently on her skin. She couldn’t come closer. She would scare her away.

 

She was starting to get greedy, she was starting to want desperately.

 

***

 

You know that I can’t

Show you me

Give you me

I can’t show you a ruined part of myself

Once again I put a mask on and go to see you

But I still want you

 

After their small, brief ‘encounter’, the flower thief had begun looking for her always. She would always roam around the garden, trying to spot a ‘fake’ sleeping figure lying around. Yujin would even witness her tiptoe, trying to spot her at the tower, and there was a time that the woman even went as far as taking a step inside the castle itself.

 

Yujin was sneaky and fast though, she would always hide behind the pillars if the woman would look around the castle, look for her but she wouldn’t say anything — she would only go home with disappointment lingering around her face.

 

The owner of the old castle was starting to get nervous because the flower thief was really searching for her now. And she was afraid that she might spot her real soon. Well, she also got sad whenever the woman would look very disappointed that she couldn’t spot Yujin at all. Sigh. Yujin hoped that the woman would stop, and finally get the hint that she didn’t want to be seen.

 

However, the last string almost snapped when the flower thief came looking for her again after picking the flowers from the garden again, standing in the middle of the quiet, old castle. Yujin was upstairs, panicking, and hiding behind a huge statue. But she was so sure that the not-so-stranger already caught her when Yujin scurried away as she entered the castle.

 

The woman was there, curious eyes eyeing the interior of the place but this time, she didn’t turn around, and walk away like she used to before. This time, she spoke, and called for Yujin.

 

“Hi,” The flower thief greeted her, and Yujin gulped, she could feel the boring gaze passing through the statue where she was hiding — her heart was beating rapidly, it skipped a beat when the woman spoke — her voice was melodic, soft yet husky. Almost a lullaby. It caught Yujin off-guard because it sounded so beautiful, it compliments her face, indeed.

 

Yujin took a deep breath, and mustered up a little courage to peek. Thankfully, she got her cloak so her face wouldn’t be seen. She saw that the woman was not looking in her direction anymore but at the flowers she was holding, and she was wearing a little smile.

 

“I just wanted to say thank you for letting me freely steal your beautiful flowers…” She continued speaking, and wow, Yujin could listen to her voice everyday, and stare at her. Her heart warmed. “These flowers helped me a lot, really. You saved me. Thank you, dear garden owner.” Sincerity was dripping off from her soft voice.

 

Yujin’s fists clenched, her jaw was set. She wanted to show herself, and properly face the grateful woman but she couldn’t. And she wanted to ask how Yujin and her flowers saved her…

 

Finally succumbing to her desire after fighting it off for a month — she finally let it all out, speaking, and asking back.

 

“What is your name?” Yujin questioned, her voice almost cracked, and she screwed her eyes shut because of the unintentional loud volume of her voice — hoping that the flower thief didn’t get startled because she replied back out of nowhere.

 

She badly wanted to ask a lot of things but this stranger’s name… she badly wanted to know it. She wanted to know what name she was called, she wanted to know the name of the beautiful woman who kept stealing her flowers. She knew the name would be flowery too as the owner.

 

Yujin witnessed that the woman’s eyes lit up upon hearing the voice replying back, and she brightened. The garden owner gulped, chewing on her bottom lip nervously as she slightly peeked from the statue. The flower thief looked happy that she responded. Her heart flipped.

 

“Oh hi there. I thought you wouldn’t want to speak to me. I was slightly surprised,” The still nameless woman said with a giggle, and oh, what a beautiful sound it was. Yujin’s heart really rattled, feeling butterflies in her stomach, and flowers blossomed in her chest.

 

The woman then realized that she didn’t answer Yujin’s question so she cleared , and finally answered, “My name is Minjoo, dear garden owner.”

 

Minjoo. Minjoo. Minjoo…

 

The name sounded beautiful, much more beautiful than a flower. The name fit the owner so much, and Yujin instantly loved the name. “Minjoo,” Yujin whispered under her breath, and she was so satisfied at how the name perfectly rolled out of her tongue. It was beautiful.

 

She was so distracted with the name that she almost forgot that Minjoo was still there, waiting for her to say something. So, she was surprised when the flower thief spoke again.

 

“How about you, dear garden owner? What is your name?”

 

Yujin froze at that, hesitating. Should she reveal her name? Maybe, she shouldn’t because Minjoo might feel that she and her were having a deeper connection. It was not like Yujin wanted that but… she wasn’t ready.

 

“My name is nothing. It’s not of any importance. No need to know mine.” Yujin replied, almost guilty when she used a very harsh tone to the woman, and she could feel the disappointment from there.

 

“But…” Minjoo stopped before she could continue, pursing her lips together tightly, and eyed her sadly from her spot but her expression turned into something gentle with a hint of disappointment. She understood, and she didn’t push Yujin further. “Can I at least see you then?” It was a plea, almost.

 

Yujin went pale at the request but she considered stepping away from the statue, and showing herself, even though she was covered by the cloak. However, her scar somewhat tingled, and the woman instinctively brought her fingers to caress it, clenching her jaw.

 

“No. You can’t,” Yujin firmly refused, just a brink away from surrendering, and showing herself to the other woman but fear outweighed it.

 

Minjoo didn’t ask once again, and let Yujin be. Even though she was disappointed, she didn’t push Yujin to the edge, and the latter was thankful that Minjoo understood.

 

“Alright. Well, erhm, I’ll go on my way now. Thank you again for the flowers, garden owner.” The flower thief softly said, her voice was laced by nothing except disappointment. She awkwardly shifted, turning away from Yujin’s direction, giving her one last glance before finally fleeing out of the castle, and Yujin just watched her walk away, and disappear again.

 

Yujin needed a moment. She needed time to process and sink everything. She finally learned the flower thief’s name but instead of getting her curiosity fed — she even got more desperate to know everything about Minjoo. Her name wasn’t enough. She wanted to know more. A lot more.

 

So, after thinking about it a lot — when Minjoo went back the next day, getting another batch of flowers, and just threw a smile at Yujin who was hiding in the castle — Yujin finally braved herself, and silently followed Minjoo. She trailed after the beautiful woman when she finally got the flowers, and went on her way.

 

Yujin stealthily hid from tree to tree, tightly gripping on her cloak that covered her whole body very well, she also got her mask to cover her ruined face. She also got a dagger for safety because the bow would attract too much attention if she ever got brave enough to follow Minjoo to the very town, and not just to the border.

 

The scarred woman watched Minjoo intently — the flower thief would sometimes hum to entertain herself, and the beautiful tune would echo around the quiet, peaceful forest, and the birds would chirp along. Yujin also caught her coughing a few times, and would sit on a log for a few minutes to rest. She realized that Minjoo might be sick or unwell, her stamina wasn’t that good either.

 

It took them almost half an hour to reach the nearest village, and if Yujin was right, it was called the village Flesthos. The village was pretty fair, and not poor since the raw materials that Irexio would trade to the other cities came from this very village.

 

Minjoo finally stepped out of the forest, and entered the civilization while Yujin halted her steps, remaining in the shadows but she wanted to follow. So, when Minjoo was getting far and far away, Yujin panicked, and finally continued to trail behind her — she took off her mask because people might mistake her for some weird nomad or a thief, murderer but her hood remained tightly down, covering her face.

 

Yujin tried not to cower as she passed by real people, who surprisingly didn’t mind her sudden presence at all. It was for the better, and Yujin continued following Minjoo as the latter padded her way towards the center of the village.

 

And that was when Minjoo stopped by the marketplace, standing in the middle of the crowd with a small smile on her face. Yujin tried not to get in everyone’s way, and watched from the corner of a stall that was offering vegetables — the elderly woman who was tending the store just smiled at her.

 

Soon enough, she spotted a few people walking towards Minjoo, pointing at the flowers, and Minjoo immediately presented the flowers she got from Yujin’s garden to the people with a bright smile on her face. Yujin was a little bit away so she couldn’t hear the conversation at all.

 

The woman was a little bit surprised when Minjoo gave three pieces of sunflowers to the man but then, when the latter got the flowers, he handed something to Minjoo, and Yujin was so sure that it was silver coins. The man went away while holding the flowers with a smile. Then, Minjoo gave some of the flowers to the gushing woman and she immediately handed Minjoo a few coins.

 

That was when Yujin realized that Minjoo was selling the flowers she always stole from her garden.

 

She was really surprised. So, to confirm things, she silently walked closer, and thankfully, there was an alleyway where Minjoo was lingering quite near so Yujin settled there, leaning against the wall as she tried to listen to the conversation, and watched.

 

“The tulips look fresh as always, Minjoo. It’s very beautiful, like it’s well taken care of! I wonder where you get these flowers. I really want to know. It’s pretty rare for people to grow flowers in such a place like this.” Yujin heard a random woman say to Minjoo, inhaling the scent of the tulips she just brought from Minjoo.

 

The flower thief smiled at the woman, glancing at the flowers she was cradling on her arms. “They are well-taken care of, indeed.” She answered, not replying to anything aside from that.

 

The customer then beamed, “These flowers are really pretty. They also saved you. Make sure to buy the medicines this time, and don’t always give all your money you earned from selling them to the kids. Take care of yourself, Minjoo.” She said, her voice was tainted by worriedness, and Minjoo just weakly chuckled at that, nodding along.

 

With that, the woman went away with the tulips, and not long after a couple went to Minjoo, and bought almost half of the flowers she got.

 

Yujin was left dumbfounded, thinking of what the woman said to Minjoo — medicines? So, Minjoo might be really unwell.

 

Yujin stayed. She watched Minjoo sell the flowers she had stolen from her garden to the people. The beautiful woman only stopped when she had finally sold all of them — she started to walk away from the marketplace after bidding goodbye to the other stall owners while counting the silver coins she had earned that day from selling as Yujin silently followed her again.

 

Minjoo stopped by a store, and Yujin didn’t immediately realize that it was a medicine herbs store. Yujin hid on the corner of the establishment, and tried to listen to the conversation of Minjoo and the owner.

 

“Minjoo, it’s good to see you again. The usual?” The store owner was an old friendly man with a soft voice, he was smiling at Minjoo like he just saw his daughter after a few days of missing her.

 

Minjoo nodded, placing a few coins at the counter. “Yes. I need to take some. I’ve been feeling worse lately,” She mumbled albeit a little bit sheepishly. The store owner was not amused though as he fumbled over the containers, handing the medicines to Minjoo and then collected the money.

 

“You really need to go to a healer, Minjoo-ah. Of course you will feel worse. The intake of your medicines are also irregular, and you keep moving around when you should be resting in your home.”

 

“I don’t have enough money to pay a healer, Mr. Baek. The service these days is quite expensive, I would rather not. And well, sorry, I prioritize the poor kids’ food more than my medicine. They are more important. And if I won’t get myself some flowers to sell then what am I going to eat? What are the kids going to eat?” Minjoo responded with a chuckle, tucking the pouch with the medicine in it to her dress.

 

Yujin blinked, listening intently. She was gaining more and more information about Minjoo, and it was… quite sad and pitiful, really. She felt bad for the woman. Minjoo was poor, and suffering from an illness — even though she was unwell, she needed to walk for a long time so she could steal Yujin’s flowers then sell it to people to make ends meet. And knowing she couldn’t regularly take her medication because she would prioritize the others’ needs than hers.

 

Her heart warmed. Minjoo was a kind woman, a real angel from heaven.

 

Minjoo didn’t linger around the store for a long time. She bid her goodbye to the store owner before walking to the bakery, buying a basket of bread then went on her way. Yujin just followed, her heart was a little bit heavy, and she was gloomy.

 

They then reached a rather… a little bit of a messier place. The houses were almost destroyed, and barely holding on, the ground was muddy. And Yujin was sure that the poorest of the poor were staying in this small dirty compound.

 

Minjoo was greeted by a lot of kids and other people — they were all dressed in rags, and they were delighted to see that Minjoo came home with food. They all shared the bread the woman bought, thanking her sincerely while the latter only smiled at them, telling them that they should eat well and was sorry that it wasn’t enough.

 

Yujin was devastated upon learning the life Minjoo was living in but she was also in awe that Minjoo was such a living angel. She must be the nicest woman to ever exist, and Yujin couldn’t help but to fall — and this time, she let herself. Her stare lingered as Minjoo watched the kids eat the bread while she ate a piece for herself, smiling goofily at them as they all huddled at the very center of the messy, poor compound.

 

Yujin had never wanted someone like this. She badly wanted to hold Minjoo, tell her that she should hoard all of the flowers from her garden if it meant she would get the right medical attention she needed, compliment her that she was the most beautiful and kind person in this cold world, and confess to her that she had been falling for her.

 

***

 

Bloomed in a garden of loneliness

A flower that resembles you

I wanted to give it to you

After I take off this foolish mask

 

But I know

I can't do that forever

I have to hide

Because I'm a monster

 

After what she had witnessed yesterday — Yujin went home with her thoughts filling up her head. She wanted to help Minjoo in a way she could. She badly wanted for her to feel better. She wanted for her to help those people in need yet at the same time, prioritize her health too.

 

Yujin actually thought of teaching Minjoo to plant, and grow a flower but that thought was immediately erased knowing that the woman would see her, and she would be fully exposed — her ruined self would be exposed, and she would rather not.

 

The only thing she could do for now was to plant many flowers, grow them beautifully, and tend them passionately so Minjoo could steal them anytime and sell them so she could get some money for herself. She planted more than usual, and she even occupied some of the palace grounds to plant different types of flowers: she even asked the guards to give her flower seeds that came from other countries, and with that, Minjoo could sell those pretty uncommon flowers at a higher price.

 

Yujin had also decided to create a flower. Yes, create a flower that had never been seen before in mankind, grow them around the castle so she could give them to Minjoo. She would sell it at a very expensive price in the town, and for sure, the beautiful woman would live a more comfortable life — she could buy medicines regularly too if she ever sold them at a pretty price. And that was what Yujin had wanted for Minjoo. This was the only way she could help.

 

She experimented for weeks, then turned into months. She was too occupied but it made her sad that Minjoo’s visit was starting to lessen. Every other day turned into thrice a week, turned into twice, turned into once. Yujin didn’t get to see Minjoo much too since she was busy experimenting at the back of the castle, she would only catch Minjoo when she was already done picking the flowers but she noticed that the woman was starting to look even unhealthier, and Yujin would always hear the harsh coughs from her across the castle.

 

Minjoo looked weaker each time she would visit the castle to get the flowers. Sometimes, she would try to initiate a conversation with Yujin but the latter still refused to talk with her much, and show herself because until now — she was equally terrified. So, Minjoo would only thank her before going home with the flowers she got — and there were times that she wouldn’t even say anything, too weak or too exhausted to speak at all.

 

And finally, after countless times of trying, Yujin got to create the flower she had badly wanted. The flower that had never existed even way before until Yujin made it. A flower that resembled Minjoo so much in many ways. She was excited to plant a lot of it, grow a lot of it, and take care of them so they would be in their best shape when she ever gave them to Minjoo. She couldn’t wait to see her place getting scattered by the said plant alone.

 

She just really hoped she would be able to take off her mask, show her true self to Minjoo if time ever came. Well, she needed to. If she would give the flowers, she would give them herself without any mask covering her face.

 

But still, the thought scared her alone. What if Minjoo would be scared? She looked like a monster after all. A ruined, scarred kid. Hiding had always been the option for her, and nothing couldn’t change that fact.

 

***

 

I am afraid

I am shattered

I’m so afraid

That you will leave me again in the end

Once again I put on a mask and go to see you

 

There was a time when Minjoo didn’t go to the castle for two weeks, and Yujin was alarmed that the woman might’ve left her. Relief washed over her when she felt the same familiar feeling in her stomach, and immediately stood up from her spot on the tower, running to the hole, and searched for the person she had been waiting for.

 

And there she was — dressed in her usual white dress, her hair was down again today, letting it flow down like a cascading waterfall. She looked beautiful as usual, she was always beautiful but Yujin noticed that she became skinnier, and she looked paler — her skin was unhealthily pale again, she looked like a ghost. Her eyes were hollow, and sad — there was a glint of pain in those warm honey eyes.

 

Yujin rushed downstairs, hiding by the archway, and watched Minjoo sluggishly pick the flowers, coughing more frequently than before. She was slower than usual, and Yujin was sad. She could feel her heart aching for the woman.

 

She just waited Minjoo to gather all the flowers she needed at the side, watching her intently through the hood of her cloak, and admired her beauty from her spot. Still exquisite, oh how beautiful she would become if she was healthier.

 

And when finally Minjoo got the flowers, she loosely hugged them, and walked away from the garden, halting on her steps when she finally noticed the presence aside from her inside the property. Yujin didn’t even realize that she had taken a step forward, allowing for Minjoo to see her a bit — with the cloak covering her but still, it slightly shocked the flower thief.

 

At first, Yujin was cursing at herself for doing that, and risking it. She deflated and cowered already but when Minjoo threw her a smile — she had realized that it had been worth it. It was a small progress but it was a progress nonetheless.

 

The smile was sweet, and sincere, and Yujin immediately got the message. It was another way of saying ‘thank you’ to her. For the flowers. Definitely. But still, Yujin’s heart fluttered intensely, almost rattling inside her chest. However, it was just a brief smile. Minjoo turned around after a moment, much to Yujin’s dismay.

 

She watched Minjoo walk out of the castle with the flowers, a little bit wobbly on her feet. Yujin couldn’t even suppress the smile that was threatening to appear on her lips — she was happy. Yujin took a step forward closer, and Minjoo smiled at her — she smiled at her! All of the worries, and terrified thoughts vanished like that.

 

Minjoo was okay. She would be okay. And Yujin would see her soon, and in the meantime, she would grow the flowers that resembled Minjoo a lot.

 

Yujin waited patiently, with the new flowers entertaining and distracting her. She watered them everyday without fail, visited them every time she got nothing to do, and sometimes, would even talk to them — share her deepest secrets and desires to be with Minjoo, she would also tell her worries to the flowers. She would also whisper to them how much she missed her already.

 

Yet after a long time… Minjoo didn’t come anymore. It had been a month or so already. Yujin waited patiently but she was running out of patience. She was getting worried sick, she was so terrified. She wanted to know what happened to Minjoo, and know why she had stopped coming to the old castle to steal the flowers from the garden.

 

After thinking about it for a few days, Yujin finally gathered enough courage to take the cloak from the hanger, wear it, grab her dagger and mask to cover her face — she decided to check on Minjoo.

 

She even picked the nameless rare flower she had created for Minjoo alone, taking one just in case — it was carefully tucked on her cloak as she started her journey to the village. She was extra fast because she was desperate, she missed seeing Minjoo, she missed watching the woman steal the flowers she had grown, she just missed everything about Minjoo. She couldn’t wait to see her.

 

When she finally got to the village, she first went to the marketplace to see if there was a trace of Minjoo but nothing. She wasn’t around. She also went to the medicine herbs store to check but she also got nothing, she couldn’t bring herself to ask the friendly store owner about Minjoo.

 

So, the last place where she could find Minjoo was in the compound. She went, expecting to see Minjoo but when she reached the familiar, messy place, it was a little bit quiet for some reason. The kids weren’t loud, the people weren’t also happy at all. The place was extra gloomy, and Yujin couldn’t see Minjoo.

 

She tiptoed, trying to spot her around but nothing, she couldn’t see the woman in the destroyed, old houses at all. There was no trace of her, and Yujin let out a sigh of defeat, wondering where Minjoo might have gone.

 

However, when she was thinking of going back home, and just wait for Minjoo to arrive — a kid bumped into her, and Yujin was startled, desperately clutching for the hood of her cloak, even though she was wearing a mask — it was still an instinct for her to cover the huge scar across her face whenever she spotted a person.

 

The kid was no older than ten. She was a girl, and she was missing her front teeth. Her clothes were dirty, and her auburn hair was messy. Her curious doe eyes were glued on her. But Yujin didn’t flinch because she looked like that, but because she was just very surprised.

 

“What are you doing? Who are you, weird overly-covered person?” The kid asked, tilting her head adorably, and Yujin felt her heart melt. She hissed at herself for getting caught like that though, she wanted to remain hidden but she knew she couldn’t escape just like this. This might be the chance for her to ask.

 

“Nothing of importance. I came here not to harm but because I was just simply curious, and worried. What is your name, little one?” Yujin asked, and she was surprised that her voice wasn’t harsh, but instead — she used the tone whenever she only talked to flowers.

 

The kid beamed, smiling at her innocently. “Nako. What is yours, tall masked stranger?” asked Nako with a cheeky smile.

 

Yujin took a deep breath, crouching a bit to match the kid’s eye level. “Just call me, garden owner, little one.” She replied, smiling behind the mask. She didn’t know some kids could be this cute and innocent.

 

When she said that, Nako’s eyes widened, her orbs were sparkling in slight familiarity. “Garden owner? Are you the one who owns the beautiful garden that is located in an old castle from afar? Minjoo-unnie used to tell us about you and your flowers.” asked the little kid, looking excited while grinning.

 

Yujin was surprised. Minjoo told the kids about her, and her garden? Her chest swelled, and her heart fluttered, drumming uncontrollably inside her. This kid might be the one who could tell her where Minjoo was.

 

“I think I’m indeed that person,” responded Yujin with a chuckle. Nako gasped, squealing a bit.

 

“Your flowers. They were beautiful. I actually missed seeing them. Did you know, your flowers saved us, saved Minjoo-unnie? Thank you for letting unnie pick flowers from your garden before.” Nako said, cooing, and smiling which made Yujin’s smile widen a bit. Hearing that… she was a little bit glad, and proud of herself that she did the right thing to let Minjoo steal flowers from her garden.

 

Nodding, Yujin scooted closer to the kid. “I heard that my flowers saved someone once but I’m more than glad to know that I didn’t just save one but many,” said the masked woman, and chewed on her lower lip, hesitating for a moment. “Perhaps… Do you know where Minjoo is, Nako? Is she well?”

 

Upon the mention, the kid’s face fell. Her bright smile left her lips almost immediately when Yujin said that, and the latter thought she might’ve said something unpleasant or anything but what she said was not offending at all.

 

“Minjoo-unnie,” Nako whispered the name almost longingly, her once sparkly eyes turned sad, and gloomy. “She already left us last week.” added the kid, her gaze lowering down.

 

Yujin froze at that. Left? Minjoo left? And where did she go? She needed answers. She needed the location so she could find her, and check on her even from afar at least. Maybe that was the reason why the woman had stopped visiting her castle to get flowers.

 

“Oh?” Yujin exclaimed, clueless. “May I know where she went? I need to give her something.” said the woman, almost pleading as she stared Nako straight in the eyes. She really needed to know where Minjoo went so she could give the flowers she exclusively made just for her.

 

Nako gave her a faint, sad smile before glancing above, and that made Yujin look up too — she was greeted by the bright blue skies. The weather was kind that day, it wasn’t too hot nor too cold. Just perfect. The sun wasn’t blazing hot at all nor raging, and the fluffy clouds were gently moving above.

 

“Up,” Nako answered, looking back at Yujin again while the latter was frozen, trying to process the information she just got from the kid.

 

She then slowly turned her gaze low again, meeting Nako’s sad eyes once again. Her breath hitched, and her heart shattered into millions of pieces. She had slowly started to wither like a flower when she finally sunk in what Nako had said to her.

 

“Do you want to visit her grave, garden owner? She’s actually waiting for you.”

 

And Yujin just found herself walking to the peaceful hill nearby. Nako had dragged her, and if it weren’t for the kid, Yujin was probably still rooted on her spot from earlier. She let herself get dragged while looking blankly at nothing, her mind was running, and the painful ache in her chest wouldn’t even fade, it was even getting more and more painful each second passed by.

 

Soon enough, when they reached the top of the hill — she was immediately greeted by the sight of a lone tree in the middle, and the peaceful silence. Yujin could feel flowers clogging up as Nako tried to lead her closer to the tree.

 

She pursed her lips tightly when she saw that there were flowers surrounding the trees, some were withered, some were fresh. There was a little bump under the tree, like the part was dug by people — only to place something into the hole they had made, and placed the soil back again to cover the hole. Yujin didn’t even need a lot of time to realize that they might’ve buried Minjoo there, under the huge, beautiful tree.

 

Yujin stood at the side, eyeing the spot with her blank eyes. Minjoo was definitely there, buried six feet under.

 

Minjoo was dead. The beautiful flower thief who stole Yujin’s heart, and not just flowers — was gone, and would never come back again.

 

That was why she had stopped coming to steal Yujin’s flowers. Her illness had gotten worse, and she didn’t receive proper care or medical attention that was why it had led to death. Minjoo had suffered a lot, even though she was ill — she still diligently walked to Yujin’s castle to get flowers so she could sell them to earn coins.

 

“She had fallen very ill to the point she couldn’t even get up from her bed anymore. Even if she badly wanted to see you and pick some flowers — she couldn’t.” Nako softly shared, staring at where Minjoo was buried too before looking at Yujin back again. “She actually left you a letter, garden owner. She was hoping that you would find her. A lot of us offered to take the letter to you personally but unnie refused, saying that you wanted to be alone and not to be bothered by anyone.”

 

The kid then handed her a folded parchment paper, and Yujin shakily took it, nodding. Nako smiled at her after that, finally leaving her alone, climbing down the hill to give her space.

 

She slowly brought her hand to take off the mask, letting it fall on the ground, leaving her fully exposed but she didn’t care anymore. The scar across her face didn’t tingle, it ached. Minjoo never got to see a glimpse of herself yet Yujin got to witness a lot. It was very unfair.

 

Then, she took the lone flower from her cloak, bending her leg a bit to place it on top of Minjoo before standing back once again — her eyes not leaving the flower. It looked beautiful. But it would look even more beautiful if Minjoo was the one who was holding it. The flower was white, standing for innocence and beauty yet the petals were proudly protruding to show off strength and diligence. The flower was Minjoo herself.

 

Yujin eyed the letter on her hand, biting her lower lip so hard that it almost bled. She took a very deep breath as she unfolded it, feeling her chest hurt, and her heart withered as she was greeted by a very beautiful, neat handwriting that screamed Minjoo all over.

 

garden owner, i owe you a lot. you let me steal your flowers that you planted, grew, and tended with passion and hard work. im very sorry that i picked your flowers for free and sold them so i could buy medicine and food. you dont know how grateful i am. you saved me. you gave me a longer time to live. however, death is already knocking on my door, and i know that once you get this letter — im probably long gone already. i really prayed it would reach you somehow.

 

too bad, i don’t have a clue about your name at all, and i don’t know how you looked behind that hood and mask. maybe next time, you’ll show me you. for sure, you’re beautiful. just like the flowers you bloomed.

 

- kim minjoo the flower thief-

 

***

 

The only thing I can do

In the garden

In this world

Is to bloom a pretty flower that resembles you

And to breathe as the me that you know

But I still want you

I still want you

 

Yujin eyed the sea of flowers, feeling the gentle breeze of the wind hitting her skin, and making the flowers dance for her. She then crouched, digging the soil with the right depth, and threw a familiar white seed to the hole before covering it back gently. After that, she watered the newly planted seed, praying that it would blossom beautifully like the others soon.

 

She roamed her gaze around the garden, and her heart ached when she was greeted by familiar white flowers, Angelicus, she named it. She named it after an angel — Minjoo. The said flowers almost engulfed half of the garden, they were standing beautifully under the sun.

 

After learning about Minjoo’s death, Yujin was devastated, and withered. To cope, she planted Angelicus in almost every corner of the castle, she even tore other flowers away so there would be a room for the said flowers alone.

 

This was something she could only do anyway besides living in this cruel world. Plant, grow, tend the flowers that resembled Minjoo so much, the flowers Yujin had created solely for Minjoo herself. This way, she was slightly comforted but Minjoo would haunt her forever.

 

Minjoo didn’t just steal her flowers after all. She also stole Yujin’s heart, and now that she was dead — her heart also withered away.

 

It had been months but Yujin’s mourning over Minjoo would never stop. Her grief, heartbreak, and regret would be forever permanent, like the huge scar on her face. And even so, Yujin was still yearning for Minjoo — she was still waiting in her garden, hoping that Minjoo would enter the property again to steal her flowers. She had never stopped wanting Minjoo. She had never stopped loving Minjoo at all.

 

Maybe back then

A little

Just this much

If I had the courage to stand before you

Would everything be different now

 

Yujin was hit by another wave of memories. She reminisced how Minjoo used to climb on the fence so she could enter the garden, and it made the corner of her lips tug upwards a bit. What a silly yet amusing memory indeed.

 

Sometimes, Yujin would hallucinate about Minjoo — when she was watering the flowers, she would sometimes see a familiar figure walking by the archway, picking the flowers. At first, it broke Yujin because she thought it was real but in the end, Minjoo disappeared, and she was hit by the realization that she was just seeing things.

 

Yujin really did have a lot of regrets. Minjoo even wrote in the letter that it was ‘too bad’ that she didn’t get to know her name and see her face at all… because Yujin was a coward who hated herself. She was selfish. She was stupid. She didn’t even manage to let Minjoo see a glimpse of her real self because she was afraid that Minjoo might get scared.

 

Her flower thief literally lived in a heavily flawed place yet she remained kind. Minjoo would be the last person who would judge her. She was too kind to even comment on one’s flawed appearance.

 

Maybe if Yujin wasn’t a coward, maybe if she was a little bit brave — she could take a few steps closer to Minjoo, and even help her pick flowers.

 

What if she just succumbed into her hidden desires rather than pushing it away… would Minjoo hold her back?

 

Would everything be much different than how things had happened to them? For sure, it would. Maybe, they were even happy. Maybe, Minjoo was still alive. Maybe, Minjoo was still lingering around her castle, admiring the flowers in Yujin’s garden with her.

 

There were just a lot of maybes, and what ifs, and regrets. But it was all too late. It already happened. It couldn’t be changed.

 

Yujin’s eyes stung, tears forming, and already threatening to fall. And before any of them could even fall, Yujin fled away from the garden and entered the castle, climbing to the stone stairs until she reached the tower. She didn’t want the flowers to see her shedding tears, they might wither away.

 

I'm crying

That’s disappeared

That’s fallen

Left alone in this sandcastle

Looking at this broken mask

 

Once Yujin got to her tower, she let the tears fall from her eyes freely. She blankly looked outside as she cried silently on her own. She was suffering. She was in great pain. She was mourning. She was regretting everything.

 

Minjoo wouldn’t be back anymore. She wouldn’t come back anymore. She wouldn’t be able to smile at Yujin anymore.

 

Yujin never felt this alone. The castle didn’t feel this stuffy, and scary before. The garden wasn’t that gloomy before. She was lonely, and broken beyond repair. The one who could only fix her was already lingering above, in the place where she truly belonged. Would they meet there? Hopefully so.

 

She tilted her head up, and she saw her own reflection on the mirror across her. Her tired, bloodshot eyes traced the scar across her face. It tingled. If she just showed her true self, without the mask, without a cover — would Minjoo love the scar Yujin hated so much? Would Minjoo trace it using her slender fingers that she had always used to pick those flowers from her garden?

 

And I still want you

But I still want you

But I still want you

And I still want you

 

But despite everything.

 

Yujin, with a withered heart, still wanted Minjoo.

 

***

 

A/N: annnd thats it~ i hope you guys liked it! this is another commission from @/tzuddaeng ! thank you again~ i hope this met your expectation somehow.

 

sorry for showering you guys some angst <3 whoops, sorry not sorry! last time, yujin was the one who died but now, its minjoo! Yassss.

 

look who’s the coward now HAHAHAHAHA anyway, see you around and stay safe as always~ dont forget to leave a comment or an upvote!