Jongin knew exactly where he needed to be that Sunday. He hurriedly prepared himself and strutted down the bistro he visits frequently. He should get there before he can.

 

 

온도와 날씨는 너와 어울려

 

 

Flushed cheeks. Beads of sweat.

The sun was high up the sky that one late Sunday morning as Kyungsoo walked down the street to the place he'd meet his lover. He was fairly thankful that it was closer to his home and he would need only to walk by a few blocks away. Oh how he hated the heat, but it was just equal to how much he loves him, if not less.

 

He reached the place and noticed right away the comforting feeling it gives, followed by the sight of a tall guy, squeezing himself on a small-sized chair. Kyungsoo immediately skipped towards him and gave him a tight hug and a small peck on his cheek. "I missed you. You've been busy this week." Kyungsoo stated as he sat on the chair opposite his lover. He realised the chair isn't really that small, his man is just tall.

 

"You have no idea how much I wanted to leave all the work and cuddle up to you." His lover answered, a low chuckle echoing in Kyungsoo's ears, his sweet voice enveloping Kyungsoo's longing. "Is this date enough payment for my absence?"

 

"Definitely not." Kyungsoo replied bashfully but laughed as soon as he saw the pout etched on his boyfriend's face. "You're too big to fit on the chair and here you are pouting like a child."

 

A waitress approached them and handed them a pair of menus, standing next to their table as the man across from him picked out his orders easily. Kyungsoo, on the other hand, was having a hard time. This place was close to his home but he's never visited it at all. "I'll just have the same as him." Kyungsoo smiled at the waitress before she leaves them with their orders.

 

"Do you even know what I had?"

 

"No, but I trust you." Kyungsoo chuckled before staring at the guy in front of him nervously. "But what did you have?"

 

"Relax. It's nothing weird. Just mushroom risotto, well-done steak for entree, and chocolate mousse cake for dessert."

 

"That's why I trust you." Kyungsoo giggled and reached his hand out across the table to his lover's own, holding it tightly. "Were you stressed the whole week?"

 

"A bit. Too much work to do at the company. But I'm more stressed that I couldn't see you." 

 

Kyungsoo locked their fingers together and laughed, staring lovingly at the man in front of him. He really couldn't ask for more. He's just simply perfect. Kyungsoo remembered how they met a few years ago. Their relationship started out like any other enemies-to-lovers story. His boyfriend despised him at first sight, but they developed feelings rather quickly and dated a few months after they realised they don't really hate each other. And here they are now, more than two years after.

 

Kyungsoo was snapped out of his daydream as a loud, hard and continuous coughing sounded around the place. He looked around and saw a man hunched over to his table, back facing them. "Do you think he's alright? That sounded serious." He asked as he looked back at his boyfriend.

 

He just shrugged and answered. "Maybe he just had a bad cough."

 

Kyungsoo glanced once more at the man on the far corner, muffling his coughs and clutching his chest tightly. He should go to a doctor as soon as he finishes his meal, Kyungsoo thought.

 

Their food arrived and Kyungsoo ate his risotto quietly, looking occasionally at his boyfriend and smiling. “We could’ve just had these at home though, you know I can cook.” He spoke up after finishing his appetizer. “Soo, what’s the point of me trying to win you back after days of being busy if I’ll make you cook?” Kyungsoo just pouted but smiled as he thought of how lucky he was to have such a boyfriend like him.

 

The rest of their meal came and they finished it slowly. Kyungsoo particularly savoured the dessert as the mousse cake was everything. They had little talks in between bites about how Kyungsoo spent his week and what did he do while his man wasn’t around. If their conversation went a little too suggestive, only the two of them know. They looked like any normal couple having a date on a weekend, giggles and comforting touches are exchanged between them. With their food all gone, their conversation got deeper and Kyungsoo’s heart started beating faster from the words leaving his lover’s lips, but so as the coughs began to sound more concerning and he felt a silhouette get past him towards the toilet. Kyungsoo suggested to his boyfriend to go back home with him already, a little too scared that it might be a contagious illness the man in the bistro had.

 

Their walk home was quick. Or maybe it wasn’t, Kyungsoo wasn’t really sure. All he knew was his man dragging him quickly inside his house as soon as they spotted it, the door shutting loudly and fits of his giggles bouncing off of his white walls as he got attacked with lavish kisses on his jaw and neck. Kyungsoo cupped the cheeks of the tall man in front of him and left soft kisses along his lips. His eyes were fluttered close and his heart was beating even louder in his ears as his lover pushed him against the wall, hands travelling down his bottom and hot breath fanning over his face. “I love you, Soo.” He heard his lover whisper against his kisses before he replied.

 

“I love you too, Yeol.”

 

 

벌써 헤어지긴 늘

아쉬워 아쉬워 아쉬워

 

 

Jongin rushed towards the toilet as he caught a piece of baby’s breath in his hand. He shakily took his phone out and dialled the number of his friend as he coughed out more blood and small white flowers, his chest getting tighter. The phone rang once and was immediately picked up. “Jongin? What’s happening?” The voice from the other line asked worriedly. “Baekhyun hyung… I can’t breathe…”

 

 

“Do Kyungsoo from the music department?” Baekhyun asked as they walked along the corridors one Thursday afternoon. All of Jongin’s classes were done, and so was Baekhyun’s, so they decided to walk home together and grab some food along the way. “You better be moving then Jongin. He’s in the graduating class, right?” Jongin just nodded and pulled the strap of his canister. “Quiet because you’re thinking of ways to ask him out or because you’re doubting on confessing?”

 

Jongin looked over to his side and glared at the smaller male beside him. “You’re just really noisy hyung.” Baekhyun pinched his side lightly and laughed, wrapping his arm around Jongin’s shoulder. “Want hyung to help you?”

 

The next day, Jongin went to school early and nervously waited at the entrance of Kyungsoo’s first class. Baekhyun did help him and gave him Kyungsoo’s schedule. He didn’t have any idea where his hyung got it, and honestly, he didn’t care anymore. All he wanted was to try his luck in asking the guy out. Soon enough, Kyungsoo appeared from around the corner, talking to one of his friends whom Jongin had figured was named Jongdae. He stood up straight and took a step forward as Kyungsoo neared him. “Uh.. Can I talk to you? J-Just a few minutes please…”

 

Jongdae nudged Kyungsoo’s side before smiling knowingly, tapping Jongin’s shoulder. “Bye Jongin.”

 

Kyungsoo walked over to the railings and leaned against it, clutching the book of sheet music in his hands and looking down. “What is it?” He asked seriously, voice a little higher and softer than what Jongin could remember. “I was hoping if you would like to go out with me? I mean, I like you… and you’re graduating… and I want—”

 

“I like you too. You’re such a mess, aren’t you?” Kyungsoo cut him off and looked at him, smiling shyly. “You can wait for me later after the classes if you’re not busy? I suppose you know too when I’ll be out.” Jongin watched as Kyungsoo got inside his room, not batting an eye at him anymore but still smiling to himself.

 

 

Jongin woke up and looked around, white walls surrounding him. He heard a loud sigh and shuffling before Baekhyun appeared in his sight, worry drawn on his face. “How are you feeling?”

 

“Never better. How long was I out?" He answered weakly.

 

"Three days. Jongin, I told you not to listen to that Chanyeol guy!” Baekhyun sighed and tousled his hair in annoyance.

 

Jongin just laughed at his hyung’s reaction and coughed hard, blood and pieces of white baby’s breath, even its leaves, and small twigs, coming out of his lungs again. Baekhyun took some tissue and handed it over to him. “He didn’t lie though. They really went there for their date.”

 

Chanyeol sent him a message last Friday that he would be taking Kyungsoo out on the weekend. Jongin knew the guy didn’t mean him any harm and just wanted to help him with his last request. Since the place they’d be going to was the bistro that Jongin had recently grown fond of, he immediately agreed. He thought of how much Kyungsoo would like the mousse cake there and even suggested to Chanyeol to get it for dessert.

 

“You just made your… your time go faster, Jongin. The more you see him be in love with someone else, the faster you… die. Why didn’t you even let the doctors take these damn flowers out of you since the beginning? Now it’s too late to do so…” Baekhyun ranted, bawling his eyes out as he clutched the hospital sheet covering half of Jongin’s body.

 

Jongin placed his hand on top of Baekhyun’s and tapped it, smiling warmly. “I love him hyung. It’s the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me. If they take the roots out, so as my love for him.”

 

“These flowers are just hurting you.”

 

“They’re meant to. But they’re small and soft. Just like Kyungsoo.”

 

Indeed. Jongin thought. Even the flowers that were meant to kill him were as soft and gentle as the person he loved the most. The only person he’d ever want to love in this lifetime and the following others. Even if by then he’d still grow these flowers and even if by then he would have roses pricking his heart, he would still love Kyungsoo like it was the only purpose he was supposed to fulfill.

 

"I'm sorry, Jongin. This is just not working anymore." Kyungsoo shook his hand off as Jongin tried to get a hold of it. "We can't just stay together because we're used to each other. You can't just reason out that we've been together for four years so we can't break up. Jongin, I don't love you anymore. I'm not happy anymore. Please just let me go."

 

And maybe, maybe he served his purpose in this lifetime enough already when Jongin felt his eyes get heavy and his chest getting even tighter. He felt Baekhyun standing up beside him and heard his drowned-out screams. Darkness swallowed him and he embraced the darkness back.

 

 

앞이 보이지 않는

캄캄한 세상도 괜찮아

 

 

Kyungsoo went home and saw a bouquet of fresh white baby's breath on his doorstep. He quickly picked it up and unlocked his house, a wide smile drawn on his face. "Ah, Yeollie so sweet." He laughed as he sets his shoulder bag on the couch, picking up the note in the bouquet that reads:

 

Hello! This is Privé Flower Shop by B! We hope our flowers put a smile on your face today!

 

Kyungsoo opened the folded note and saw a short letter written inside, clutching the bouquet close to him. He felt a sharp pang on his chest as he read it.

 

I don't wonder anymore why baby's breath is your favourite. In comparison, you're both small and soft. You're probably the personification of them. Thank you for everything, Soo. I love you.

— J