Do you still remember your first kiss? Cause I do. Every second of it still lingers in me.

My first kiss was when I was 18. It was with my best friend.

I remember how I kissed her on their living room couch. We both said it was nothing, we were carried away by our emotions. It was customary to kiss other girls our age, like this happens whenever girls are drunk or if there's a truth or dare game. But I knew it was nothing because I can still feel her lips until this day; I can still taste the cherry blueberry-flavored chapstick that she used.

I can still smell the lavender scent fabric softener her mom used for her clothes. Everything's still stalling me.

We explored all these things, and we explored a lot of them together. We kissed a lot after, like a lot after that day.
We kissed whenever she dropped me off after school; we kissed while sitting on the living room carpet watching Dream High 2. I can still remember how her tongue felt inside my mouth. 

Kissing, touching, and exploring each other’s bodies became a drill for both of us. We were schoolmates; break schedules became “our” time. 

After months and months of kissing, we took it to second base.

I was so afraid we’d get caught, but she assured me she’d never tell anyone.

She became that bad habit and I could not stop it.

She was like a drug, and I got addicted. I was so intoxicated by the feelings she gave me.

I can still remember how we took each other to a euphoria no one could ever explain.

It was 2014. I was studying arts and she was starting her job as a journalist. She came to my dorm, drenched from the rain outside.

“Joohyunnie? What are you doing here?”
“It’s already flooded on the way home. I needed a place to stay for the night. I can stay right, Seul?” She looked at me with those ing lustrous eyes.

I opened the door and let her in. She’s no stranger in this house.

I gave her a towel and had her take a shower. I stayed in bed and pretended I was doing some academic requirements, but I was waiting for her to come out of the bathroom.

“Hey. Thanks for the hot bath.” Joohyun went out of the bathroom, wrapped in just a tiny towel. I gulped at the sight.

Her pale skin is just so exposed.

Yes, we may have kissed a lot and touched different parts of our bodies, but I never saw her almost .

“Do not thank me. Thank the showerhead and the heater.” I said jokingly. 

Joohyun approached me while she was still almost .

My heart started to thud like crazy. Did I drink too much coffee for me to palpitate like this?

She dropped her towel and climbed on top of me. She cleared the bed from all of the obstructions.

“Hyun, what are you doing?”

“Don’t you think it’s time?”

“Time for what?”

“For you to feel how heaven is here on earth.” Joohyun winked, and the magic happened. 

I can still remember how it felt, but I don’t want to linger upon the past. 

After that night, we started doing things we could never imagine we could do.

When I was with her, I always felt like I was in ecstasy.

She always gives me a different kind of feeling. Something that I could not explain, not even a dictionary could.

The seasons changed so fast just like how she did.
Summer came and summer brings a better twist to each and every day. Night closes fast, daytime is longer. My feelings for her grew stronger, just like how the sun shines brighter than usual.

We used to enjoy barbecues together. We sneak out for beer, go to the beach, walk together and do things together.

I did know that in a few short months, winter will come but I didn't know that everything will be cold and blue.

Cold days are the worst for Joohyun, she doesn't like the winter and she's weak to cold temperatures. She'll always snuggle with me and tell me that it's too cold and she could not bear it. I would always tell her it's alright and I am here to welcome her in my arms. She'd always give me warm embraces.

In the past winters, Joohyun would sneak into my room and share blankets with me. We'll cuddle, talk about things until we fall asleep into each other's arms.

Making out also played a part in keeping us warm during cold days.

I know what we were doing was wrong, but no one knows about it. She doesn't even know how I feel about her. I knew feelings are already involved, heavily involved.

I still remember that winter morning, she came to me saying she had just said yes to the “man of her dreams”; Kim JunMyeon.

I thought. I just thought that the feelings were mutual.

She got me.

I fell in love. I was caught off guard.

We were like magnets.

We were peanut butter and jelly.

We were a buy one take one “couple,” but not exactly.

I never said congratulations but instead I gave her the warmest hug I can ever give. I kissed her on