Changes scared her. Chaewon never liked changes. She didn’t like it when she was 18, and found herself being attracted to girls. She didn’t like it when she fell in love with a girl, who soon found a boy to love. She didn’t like it how she had to keep to herself or how she felt like she had been lying to everyone who mattered to her for years. She didn’t like being scared, she didn’t like feeling alone and she absolutely hated feeling empty. She had gone through some changes for the past few years and she wasn’t fond of any of them. It wasn't until there was another shift in her life and she had never been more grateful for it. She hated changes, but maybe change could be good too.

Maybe not all changes were horrible, maybe changes could work both ways, because she liked that she was more accepting about herself, still reserved but much more relaxed, and she liked that she didn’t feel alone anymore. She liked that somehow her heart felt like it was constantly filled to its brim and how she didn’t have to keep to herself so much anymore. She mostly liked that she was falling in love with another girl, whose heart could love her, too.

It was odd — her change of heart — because she was at the same regular cafe, at the same corner, with the same people sitting exactly where they sat almost a year ago but she felt different even though it had barely been a year. She changed. Things changed, not everything but some things did, and she could feel the difference. She wasn't affected when Minjoo spoke proudly of her boyfriend, didn't feel the same emotions when the girl smiled or looked at her, and didn’t feel like she had the weight of the world on her chest anymore. She now leaned towards Yujin for completely different reasons.

A year ago, she would have leaned towards her for comfort, because she needed her, because she wanted a distraction. Right then, she leaned towards her merely because she wanted her close, the need was still present, but mostly because Yujin became the distraction. Chaewon was barely following any of the conversations going on as she rested her head on Yujin's shoulder, the latter's scent making it hard for her to focus on anything else.

She merely observed as Yujin continued to talk to Yena while noting that Yuri and Minjoo were having completely different conversations. She watched them and thought of how some things might never change, like how Yujin was being rather loud, how Yena crinkled her nose when she disagreed with something, or the way Yuri talked with her hands flailing around, and Minjoo’s tendency to touch Chaewon’s thigh or leaning towards her when she laughed too hard.

She noticed and smiled because maybe some things would always stay the same — she hoped so — and she didn’t mind things like that, but other things would inevitably change. Things like how Yuri was thinking about moving out of her parents house, how Yena was thinking about her future more, and how Chaewon was still fond of Minjoo but not in the same way anymore. Maybe things could also change drastically because now Yujin had most of her attention, most of the time, and Chaewon could feel herself falling for her in a way that was quite different from the way she had with Minjoo; it was different but in a good way.

Some things stayed the same, and some didn’t. One of the changes also being the fact that Yujin had recently gotten a new perfume and although Chaewon liked the last one too, it was way too sweet now that she had compared it to the present one. Now, Yujin’s hair still smelled like apples, and her clothes still had the hint of jasmine, but her new perfume was light and soft, and Chaewon found that it was definitely distracting. Chaewon couldn’t help but think how this suited the girl much more. It was gentle, and Chaewon loved it on her. She unconsciously snuggled even closer to the girl at the thought.

"Are you okay?" Yujin had asked, softly, while the others seemed to be in some sort of playful banter about— well, about something, Chaewon wasn't really sure, she must have zoned out for a while.

Chaewon couldn’t help but chuckle at the question because Yujin probably thought she was still in love with Minjoo or felt that anything Minjoo did still affected her. They haven't talked about what was happening or what would happen between them since Yujin made her feelings clear to Chaewon almost a year ago.

She reached out and held Yujin's hand instead, smiling a little more when the girl traced her fingers like she always did.

"I'm fine," she replied, and she really had been more than just ‘fine’ for at least half a year now. For at least half a year now, she had been happier than she had been in years.

Chaewon had asked Yujin the benefit of time a year ago when the latter had called her out on her biggest secret and told her something that started the whole new shift in her life. Yujin hadn't mentioned anything regarding it ever since, not even when they woke up the next morning, still cuddling, or when they started to hold hands or link arms more often, or even when their hugs would last much longer. Yujin hadn't brought it up, not even when she would often send Chaewon a small endearing smile, and looked at her with so much fondness in her eyes that Chaewon wondered if their friends have noticed the slight change in their interactions. Yujin hadn’t brought it up again since then, and Chaewon was taking her time as she said she wanted to, even though she lets Yujin hold her whenever she wanted, and even initiating some of their interactions. They haven’t talked about it but it was mostly due to some sort of unspoken mutual understanding; their actions spoke loud and clear.

Chaewon had asked for time, and Yujin hadn’t rushed her in any way, but honestly it didn't take as long as she had expected to turn her attention and heart to her bestfriend instead because Yujin had always been a good distraction in the first place. She realised that Minjoo might have had her attention at first, but she never really had it completely because Yujin had always been a priority to her. She could have been hooked on Minjoo, distracted by her own broken heart every time they sat together in their little group, but she would always check on her bestfriend for little things like, was she having fun? What was she talking about? Had she finished her drink? Did she want to go home yet?

It was the little things that she hadn’t realised back then, and thinking about it now, when she decided to see if she could fall in love with Yujin and love her differently, she realised that she didn't have to try at all. It was a natural shift and Chaewon wondered if it could be considered a change at all.

Chaewon had originally thought that loving her bestfriend differently than how she had been loving her all their years of friendship was going to take some effort, that maybe Chaewon would have to try loving her the way Yujin did. She thought that she would need to at least try and that it was going to take some time but really, the change was almost gradual as if it shouldn’t have been an issue at all — loving her bestfriend that way. It was as if loving her that way was a normal thing, nothing out of the ordinary — like it’s meant to be, as corny as that might sound.

Had it really been a change of heart? Or had she always loved her all this time, but didn't ponder on it due to her more dominant feelings for Minjoo? Had her feelings for Yujin secretly grow throughout the years of the latter always taking care of her heart but she was in too deep with her own self-pity and despair to notice?

As she lay in bed on countless nights and felt her heart starting to flutter at the mere thought of Yujin, she thought that maybe, like how she started being attracted to girls, it wasn't really a change. Maybe it had always been there, hidden from view and only brought into surface so suddenly that she