I stare blankly at the 42 inch TV monitor that displayed a random film. I don't pay my attantion at the film, I only need a noise. I grab a pillow beside me and I hug it in front of my chest. My mind flies to an unforgettable memory that hurts a lot. Now, I'm hugging my knees with a pillow in front of my chest. I bury my face on the pillow, soon after I feel hot on my eyes. My tears are pooled up, ready to fall anytime.

Today is extremely cold....

I look at my clothes. I wear something warm enough to fight the cold, a long sleeves shirt and a pair of trousers. I even wear shocks that I rarely wear inside my house.

But... I'm still cold....

Finally my tears are falling down my cheeks. I sob lightly and remember him.

Yes. Him.

The one that hurts me. The one that made a beautiful promise, and broken the promise by himself...

"Boo... I love you so much. I promise, I'll never leave you and we'll be together forever. I promise..."

"!" I throw the pillow on the floor. I palmed my face and cry hardly. I let those tears fall freely and I don't care with what people said. Yes... I don't care because I'm alone here... No one cares. Even him. .

"Jaejoong-ah... I'm sorry. We can't be together again. I think... our relationship is not working anymore. Let's break up." said him with holding a suitcase, ready to out from my apartment.

"No... Yunho, please! Don't leave me! You promised me to love me and we'll be together forever right? We used to break up but we ended up together again right? Yunho... please answer me! You're not gonna leave right?" I pleaded in front of him and holding his hand. He lets out his suitcase and bents down in front of me.

"I'm sorry... I know that I'm wrong. That promise was wrong. We can't be together. You should seeing someone else than me. Please... I do this for your happiness. You deserve someone better than me. I love you..." He cupped my face and he pecks my lips. I let those tears fall and I see him crying too. He gets up and he holds his suitcase again.

"Good bye... Please be happy... " He gets out with a smile. He leaves me broken and shattered on the floor. That night.... the snow falls again... The snow falling hard. And I feel a sudden cold. No more warmth left since he stepped out from this house, our house that now become my only house.

"Why should you say that promise in the first place? Why should you leave me when you said that you love me? I really don't understand your logic Jung Yunho!" I hiss desparately and scratch my hair in frustration. I stare at my 'empty' hand. No more ring. No more couple cartier ring that I used to share with Yunho. Yes, I pulled off it after he left me. I throwed the ring out in the road. I don't even care if the ring crashed by a car there. My heart is broken. Lik the broken ring.

I hug my knees again. I let out my tears fall without stopping it. I don't care with puffy and read eyes. I don't care with red and runny nose. I don't care if I'm weeping and look ugly right now. Yeah, no one will see me. He won't care anyway. Maybe... he even won't care if I die...

Ah... yes... what if I die? Will he care? Will he cry if he look at my dead body?

Hmm.... I look at the fruit knife beside me. I lift it and stare at it a while.

Maybe, just maybe I want to see him cry...

I'm ready to scatter my skin when the flash of my parents' faces, Junsu, Yoochun, Changmin, and my families. My fans...

"No!" I drop the knife and I fall down on the floor. No... I can't be this selfish. I still have a lot of people that I need to cherish...

"What had I done?" I whispered to myself...

"Jung Yunho I ing hate you!"

I cry again...

"No... Jung Yunho I love you... I love you very much until I hate you..."

"Please come back to me..."

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Okay, seriously, I don't know what did I write *sighs*

If you're one of my reader in Divorce fic (if you don't know, you can click it on the left side) I say that I won't update for 2 weeks.

You know, I'm kinda frustrated with some rumors and I'm Yunjae deprived T^T

I"m not losing my faith towards them but.... yeah I just need a break. I can't bear those rumors. I'm hurting.

I even don't know why did I make this fic in the first place. I feel bad...

Really, I feel bad... TT_________________________TT

I'm sorry.... I'm sorry~ *bows*

Please anyone, if you know something that lift my Yunjae mood, please tell me. Thanks TT~~TT