"Yujin-ah, hello up there. Like every year before your death anniversary, here I am again, writing you a letter. Not strangely enough, letters like this reminds me of you. It reminds me of the last thing you left me. The last words you wanted to tell me. It reminds me that even in your last moments, I was the one you thought of.

I miss you, Yujin. So badly. I'm missing you too much it hurts. But you're happy there, aren't you? I hope you are, my love.

You know Yujin-ah, looking back at the past letters I wrote to you, it was all filled with sadness. With emptiness. Because that's what I felt when you were gone.

A few years after you passed, I had no idea what to do next. My bucket list was finish, so I had nothing else left to do. So in those years, I spent it finding a job that truly fits me. I ended up becoming an author, and shared my stories to the world. But no other story would be as great as ours, because we wrote it together. It might not be like most of those stories that had happy endings on them, but at least ours was worth a lifetime. 

I also spent most of my time taking care of azzo, just like what I promised you. He's a big boy now, Yujin. And I know he misses you a lot as well, we all do. The studio isn't the same without you, but Yuna is working hard to not let the studio down. Because she knows how much the studio means to you. Chaewon and Wonyoung would occasionally visit also. Oh, speaking of, they both recently got engaged last month. I must say, Chaewon sure did prepare a lot for her proposal. You should've seen her face when she finally kneeled down and asked Wonyoung, she was so nervous. I'm sure if you were there, you would be laughing at how nervous your best friend was. But I'm sure you'll also be extremely proud of her.  They're both starting the preparations for their big day. And of course, me being Wonyo's best friend, decided to help them with it. Who knew preparing a wedding would be this hard. But I'm happy to help them prepare for the next chapters of their lives. Truly, they are destined for each other.

Forgive me my love, but I can't help but wonder what life would have been if you were still here. I had thought about that every day. And only one answer would come to mind. We would be happy.

Yujin how do I do this? How do I continue living life knowing you won't be there? How can I move forward when you're not here to hold my hand and guide me. How, Yujin-ah? Just how? The past four years have been difficult. And I have no idea how to move forward to the next couple of years. I just...don't know anymore.

Actually, I've received an offer from another country to go work for them. It's a big company, and they want me to be signed under their company as an author. I told them I need to think about it, so they told they'd give me until tomorrow to decide. Tomorrow's your death anniversary. 

I don't know whether I should go or not. If I do, then it means I also have to leave home, because that's part of the contract. I need to leave this place, and who knows when I'll ever have the time to come back. If I leave this place, then I'll have to leave my family, my friends, azzo, and I'll have to leave you. 

If I leave, that means I can't visit you whenever I want. I can't tell you about my day like I usually do. Leaving the country also means leaving you. 

I really don't know. Give me a sign, Yujin. Give me a sign to move forward. Give me a sign that you're already happy there."

Suddenly, the ring that Minju has hanged around her neck like a necklace, the same ring that Yujin gave to her on her birthday, fell down on the floor. The chain broke. Minju went on to pick it up and somehow it landed on one of her published books. Next Time, that was the books title. The book was a story about two lovers who promised next time to each other. It's a story about moving forward while hoping that Next Time comes by soon, and by that time, they're hoping it'll be a good one. 

Minju chuckled, the tear stains on her cheeks were replaced with tears yet again. "Is this your way of telling me, Yujin-ah? Am I finally ready to move forward?"

She picked the ring up and examined it closely. There was something carved in the inner part of it which Minju only seems to notice now. She checks it closely and finally sees the word, "next time, it's you and me forever." 

With that, Minju has come to a decision within herself. She immediately decided to let the company know about it and waited for further instructions. Of corse, Minju had to relay whatever news it was to her family and friends.

Later that same night, she decided to call Wonyoung.

"What? Really? That's great news, Min!" Wonyoung exclaimed, extremely proud of her best friend.

"Yeah, it is." Minju said smiling.

"So, when do they want you to fly out?"

"Yeah that's the problem. You see....they want me to fly out of the country as soon as tomorrow comes."

"What? Tomorrow?! But it's your birthday after that! And it's Yujin's death anniversary tomorrow!"

"Oh come on, Wonyoung-ah, you know I stopped celebrating my birthdays four years ago."

"But how about tomorrow Min...you've never missed any of it."

"And, I'm not planning to miss any. I'll visit her as soon as I finish packing my stuff. My flight leaves in the afternoon so I'll probably spend the rest of my day there."

"Are you really sure about this? You know, about leaving?"

"I am. I realized that maybe it finally is time for me to move forward. And I know Yujin would want me to do the same thing."

"You've gone through a lot, but you managed to get through that all. I'm proud of you, Min. We all are. And I'm sure that if Yujin is here, she'd be proud of you as well."

"She is here. Because as long as I'm still here, this heart will always beat for her."

"Anyways, it's getting kinda late, you better go to bed now."

"I will, in a few minutes. Oh, will you guys come visit tomorrow as well?"

"Of course, Yeji and Chaeryeong are also coming with Yuna. They said they might come a little late since they have things to do in the studio. Me and Chaewon are gonna be a little late as well, we need to meet the caterer tomorrow."

"It's fine you guys, take all the time you need."

"Well I gotta go now. See you tomorrow Min."

Minju went back to her study table and continued the letter before finally going to bed.

"I have decided to move forward. I will continue to move forward from now on. But this time. I will no longer worry about it, because I know you'll always be with me every step of the way.

I'll wait for you, Yujin. I'll wait for our next time that is yet to come. I know it will eventually come. I hope it does. 

But if it doesn't, then I'll continue waiting still.

I'll keep waiting for that next time to come. For our time to come. Because you, Ahn Yujin, is someone worth the wait. No matter how many next times that is, I'll wait for you.

Until then my love, I will be a better version of myself this time.

For now, let this be a letter, for next time. 

Next time."

-

Minju started her day early and left her house shortly after preparing the rest of her stuff for her flight later this afternoon. She finished at around lunch time so she prepared food and left shortly after that. Her luggage was all placed on the back of her car as she drove her way to the cemetery. But before that, she visited her parents first and also Yujin's before heading there.

When she arrived there, she lit the candles placed there and placed the flowers she just bought. She removed the dirt on the tombstone and carefully sat down beside it.

"How are you, my love?  You doing fine over there? I'm sorry I couldn't bring azzo this time, but he's doing fine. Mom and Dad are the one's taking care of him right now since I'll be away for quite a while. But your parents often visit him. Our friends also take their times to visit him and bring him presents. Yuna joked about it one time how azzo is like our son. But if you think about it, he really is." 

She took out the tteokbokki she prepared earlier and placed it beside the candles, "Here, I cooked your favorite. I can't believe it's been 4 years. You've been gone for quite a while now. And yet I'm still not used to it. But don't worry, I'll get there. Somehow. You must be wondering why I came so early huh? It's because my flight leaves later in the afternoon and I decided to spend it with you. This may be the last time I'll get to see you. For now."

Minju sat there for hours and waited for their friends to come. But they never did. Still, she waited for them until it was almost time for her flight and so it was also time for her to say goodbye to Yujin and leave. "I'm so sorry if they couldn't make it today, Yujin-ah. I guess they're just pretty busy right now. Yuna and the others with the studio and Chaewon and Wonyoung with the wedding preparations. But don't worry, they didn't forget. I think they'll come visit you by later or maybe tomorrow. I have to go now, Yudings. My flight leaves in about an hour so I have to be there on time. I'll come visit you as soon as I come back, okay? Don't worry, I'll come back, to you. Always you. See you next time, my love."

Just when Minju was about to leave, a group of people with balloons and cake came rushing towards her. It was their friends.

"You guys, I thought you won't come?" she asks, utterly shock.

"Why wouldn't we?"

"I thought you guys were busy."

"Nonsense, we'll always make time for this."

Minju observed them and noticed the things they had, "What's with all this?" she curiously asked.

"Well since you'll be leaving today, we might as well throw you an advance birthday party." Yuna energetically said.

"Guys I'm thankful, but you know I do-"

"You don't celebrate your birthdays anymore. But come on Min, let us do this for you. After all, you're gonna be gone for a long time." Wonyoung pleaded.

"Okay, fine. Thanks you guys."

They all sat down and ate cake while telling Yujin a few stories about what had happened to them. Chaewon ended up crying while saying she wish Yujin could be there on their wedding day. The others were as sad as her. But since Yuna wanted the atmosphere to be light, she decided to slightly make fun of the crying Chaewon.

"Ya! Ya! Kim Chaewon! Stop crying will you? Aish. I'm pretty sure Yujin's laughing at you crying like this. Aigoo." she then turned to Wonyoung, "Ya Wonyoung-ah, are you aware that your  fiance is a cry baby?"

"I'm aware of that ever since she cried when her mintcho ice cream fell one time while we were on a date." Wonyoung laughed at the memory of it while Chaewon sulked. 

"Really? She did? Damn Kim Chaewon." Yuna made fun of her endlessly. Chaewon got annoyed and balled out a piece of tissue paper and threw it all the way to Yuna's direction. They bickered after that and the others just laughed at them.

"Look Yujin, they're fighting again." Minju said and pointed at the two. Automatically, they both stopped and behave themselves.

They continued enjoying each other's company. Time passed by quickly and it was time for them leave. Yuna, Chaeryeong and Yeji left first since they were needed immediately in the studio. The three left with Chaewon's car while the two offered to drive Minju to the airport and also to return her car back home after.

"Guys, you really didn't have to. I can manage." she said as they were making their way to her car.

"We insist, Min. Besides, you need someone to take your car back home."

Minju checked her bag to look for her keys. She found them, along with the letter she wrote last night. "Wait, I'll be back quick. I just need to leave something." the other two nodded and went inside the car. Minju ran back and placed the letter to where she usually puts it every year. 

"Here Yujin, a letter for next time. That's last for now, my love. I love you, Yujin. Yesterday. Today. Tomorrow. And next time. Always."

She made her way to the car with now a light heart and full of hope. Hope, that next time comes. And hope, that this life won't  be too hard on her.

Last night in a dream you appeared
You were soaring above the sky
At a distance I couldn’t reach
I just watched and woke up

Do you remember those times
The days were many when we wanted to do things and
Without fear
We would just do it
In those times
We really had fun
All those days I spent with you

Now you’ve left
More than hurting when I think of you
I try to smile when I recall
All those days we were together

This is all
Promise me just one thing
You won’t hurt anymore and you’ll smile
Pass by happily above the clouds

The day when we rode a cycle far away
Until it broke and couldn’t go further
On the road back when you looked at the sky
You envied the birds

Do you remember those times
No matter what anyone says
We had days when we saw something fun
We would just do it
In those times
We really enjoyed ourselves
In those days, all those days

Faster than anything
Cut through the clouds vigorously
Fly freely

Now you’ve left
More than hurting when I think of you
I try to smile when I recall
All those days we were together

This is all
Promise me just one thing
You won’t hurt anymore and you’ll smile
Pass by happily above the clouds

-above the clouds by Day6

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I suggest you listen to 'above the clouds' by Day6. 

Thank you so much for reading and for reaching this far. Stay safe and wishing you the best in life!

Feel free to leave your thoughts and reactions on my cc account.

See you next time.

-dose