Siwon keeps peeking at Yesung who is suspiciously silent since the moment they left the restaurant.

“Is everything alright?”

Siwon spares a few seconds to watch him and then turns his attention back to the road. Yesung has one arm wrapped around his stomach and he is pressing his hot forehead to the cold window.

“I feel a bit sick.”

Siwon sighs and tries to count how long will it take before they get home. Just ten minutes and they can take a warm bath and go to bed. Siwon finally stops the car in front of their small, but modern house and Yesung slowly gets out of the vehicle. He unlocks the front door and immediately heads upstairs and in the bathroom. Yesung is quickly ing his shirt and feels as if the fabric is sticking to his skin. The delicious food from the restaurant is rising up by his throat and Yesung gags. Siwon is silently hurrying upstairs and stops in the bedroom. The bathroom is connected to the main bedroom and Siwon listens to the noises. Yesung is gagging and Siwon nervously grips his tie. Should he go there?

Yesung didn’t forgot about their rule - he can’t close the bathroom’s door. Someone could say that Siwon is stealing his husband’s privacy, but like this Yesung isn’t tempted to stick his fingers in the back of his throat. Yesung stands in the bathroom, tears are rolling down his cheeks and he keeps gagging. He closes his eyes and tries to focus on something else than on the food inside his stomach. Siwon is taking off his clothes and Yesung turns on the shower. He stands under the stream of warm water and quickly washes his hair and body. He feels really sick and wants to curl into a ball and sleep. Siwon is silently waiting in the bedroom until Yesung walks out of the bathroom wearing a fluffy pink bathrobe. Yesung slowly sits down on the bed and takes a sip of water. Siwon also takes a shower and then lies down.

“Are you alright?”

Yesung silently nods and looks at him.

“I wanted to vomit, but stopped myself.”

Siwon smiles at him and kisses his cheek.

“I know and I am proud.”

Yesung weakly smiles and lies down too. He really wants to sleep, but his brain is spinning and can’t stop. It is late, Siwon is already asleep and only Yesung is awake and staring outside. There is nothing to see and Yesung tries to calm down. After a long time he gave up and gets up. He knows that he didn’t reach his calories goal for today. The dinner wasn’t that big, he had some pasta. And before dinner he ate a sandwich, one apple and a muffin. Yesung knows what his husband and psychologist said and what he promised to them. He promised to try to eat enough to gain weight and he is already on 54 kilos and their goal is 60 so he is close.

Yesung walks in the kitchen and sighs. He heads to the fridge and pulls out a bottle of PediaSure.

“Let’s try strawberry.”

The drink should help him to gain weight and he drinks it when he can’t force himself to eat. Tonight he chooses the one with strawberry flavor and takes a sip. He goes back in the bedroom and just sits on the bed drinking his drink until he is satisfied and fell asleep.

Siwon woke up in the morning and turns around to face Yesung. He spots the half full bottle of PediaSure standing on the nightstand. Siwon smiles a bit and kisses Yesung’s cheeks. His husband opened his eyes and snuggles closer to Siwon.

“Good morning.”

They cuddle for a while before Yesung lifted his head.

“I have an appointment with my doctor. Will you go with me?”

Siwon nods because he already took a free day to go with Yesung. Long years with anorexia left his heart weak and sick. Yesung can’t work, can’t do sports or stress himself. Seeing his doctor is very stressful, moreover today his doctor will perform an echocardiogram to see if the medicine for Yesung’s heart works.

Siwon is getting ready while Yesung slowly eats some scrambled eggs with a toast. After breakfast they can leave. The doctor’s office isn’t far and soon the old doctor greets them with wide smile. He experienced this twice already, but doctors are scary. Everyone would find doctors scary if they were locked in a mental hospital for almost three months. Siwon is gently, but firmly holding Yesung’s little hand and they enter the office.

“Please take off your shirt and lie down.”

Yesung walks behind a curtain and ed his shirt. He is so nervous, but acts brave and lies down on an examination table. A technician, a young woman with pretty smile, wheeled the machine in the office and has a small talk with the couple. She attached electrodes which looks like sticky patches to his body and then applies a gel to the transducer probe. Yesung is trying to calm down while Siwon holds his little hand and rubs his short fingers. She is moving the transducer back and forth over Yesung’s chest to record images of sound-wave echoes from his heart and smiles at the nervous patient. Siwon is watching the moving images of Yesung’s heart on the small monitor of the machine.

“How does it look?”

The doctor is silently studying the pictures for a while before nodding his head and smiling.

“It definitely looks better than the last time. I am happy the medicine works. And you also gained a few kilos since our last appointment.”

Yesung is happy that his heart is getting better. He was worried his heart will stay weak for the rest of his life. He feels a bit of discomfort from the transducer which the technician holds very firmly against his chest, but she is just trying to get the best imagines of his heart. It is over after a few more minutes and Yesung gets a napkin to clean his chest. He puts on his shirt while the doctor fills another prescription and then they can leave.

Siwon wants to do something nice, he knows how much his husband hates doctors. They walk out of the building and head to a near coffee shop. They both love vanilla latte and Yesung even ordered cinnamon coffee cake. They sit down and wait for their coffee. They don’t speak, Siwon just holds his hand and uses his thumb to drive circles on the top of the small hand. The coffee shop is almost empty, everyone is working or at school. The coffee is good, but the cake is even better. Siwon watches his cute dumpling eating and tries not to stare at him, it could make him nervous. They sit there for a long time before heading home. Siwon doesn’t want to exhaust him so he announced he will cook lunch today.

“I am going to cook some delicious meal for you.”

Yesung smiles a bit at him and goes to lie down for a while. After the long time without proper nutriment his skin became dry and often itches so now he is lying in the bed and tries to stop himself from scratching his skin until it bleeds. Siwon is baking salmon with asparagus and hurries to feed his dumpling. Siwon used to hate cooking, his mother always forced him to cook for his younger siblings and he hated it. And now look at him - he is running around the kitchen wearing a yellow apron and thinks about making a cake. He doesn’t want to feed Yesung some frozen meals from the supermarket or buy food from restaurants. He learned that the best way how to help Yesung is cooking healthy meals at home with the best ingredient - his love.

THE END