(My) Dear Jiaqi:

  How's the weather in Hengdian? I hope you’re taking good care of yourself... You have always been so sickly, catching almost every cold you can.

           I know this letter may surprise you, ‘cause I’m not the kind of person who usually does these kinds of things. You always tell me I’m very unromantic for some things (don’t play being innocent, you are really unromantic for some stuff too. Don’t you remember who is the one who forgot our last anniversary of the first day we met? Touché). Also, I know that’s technically easier to send you a message on your phone and wait for you to answer me whenever you can but lately, you don’t have much free time and I don’t want you to feel pressure for not answering all my messages, or to feel guilty when you just can’t, so I stopped writing so frequently. I’m not gonna lie, it’s true that sometimes I feel tired of not having more than just an answer per day or reading many shorts and vague messages, but I’m not mad… I also know how it is to have all of those activities you have to carry on. However, I madly miss you… I think we already beat our personal record of time being apart, and it’s becoming a little bit unbearable…

          When we decided to start the relationship in this way with so many distances in between, lots of activities, and frequent separations, we promised to not pressure ourselves and to always wait for the day we will meet again.

           So, now I’m not willing to make you feel pressured by writing this letter, but right now I can’t handle it and I need to say… Come back soon, please… I need you. By this time I’ve gathered more than one hundred things to tell you, so you will have to prepare yourself to listen to me until you fall asleep from exhaustion.

           Hey, Jiaqi… I love you. It hasn’t changed a little bit. It’s been more than a year since we made that promise, and I can assure you that my feelings remain the same, or even bigger, because longing for you just makes the feeling of wanting to embrace you and the need of having you by my side stronger.

           Lately, I’ve been feeling a little bit jealous, thinking if in your loneliness you could’ve found someone else who may help you bear the cold, the silence, the emptiness of your room… However, despite my jealousy, I wouldn’t stop trusting you. I think of your shiny eyes, promising me that I could always trust in us… And I still believe it, but I don’t trust all those silly girls who go visiting you to give you some company. Those friends who travel there just to see you or live there in the same city. You are always being so kind with that natural charm you’ve got. Silly you too. Don’t forget about me. I’m here waiting for you. I support you from the distance, I dream about you, I love you and I wait for you… Today and forever, no matter how unbearable it could be.

            Could I live without you? Of course I can. I’m a strong woman, you perfectly know that. That’s another reason why you fell in love with me too. I would be able to just keep on going and find someone who loves me more than you do if you stop loving me. However, right now I just care about the fact that you love me as much as I do. No more, no less. This is the only thing I can accept is a tie (although you always want to fight me back about that).

             I believe we also miss each other just the same, right?

             Even if you have those silly girl friends in there.

            Anyway, I'm just writing to express what I feel and make you remember how much I like you, just like the first day, just like our first time, and that my heart needs you. I hope I was able to steal a bright smile from that face of yours with this letter. You owe me one of those too, of those smiles you give me between kisses, those kisses I like so much and that makes me feel your warmth.

            Your hair has grown a lot lately, isn’t it? Maybe it’s a little bit uncomfortable for you, you don’t like it too long, but I really love how it looks right now. Don’t cut it yet. It’s a whim. I really miss wrapping my arms around your neck and entangling my fingers in your hair, feeling your hands holding tightly in my hips. I also want to tangle our legs together under the sheets, feel your soft hands get lost on my back, your kisses on my entire skin, and I miss kissing yours too… To feel your voice, your heavy breathing, and those little sighs that tickle my ear when you hug me by the back when you sleep. Don’t you miss fighting those cold nights together?

           I feel so empty without you, Jiaqi, no matter how strong and steady I could be, I still do... Please, come to complete me as soon as possible. My soul misses you. My body needs you… And my mind thinks of you day by day.

           Take care of yourself, eat well (seriously), and don’t get sick. You’re always carefree when it comes to you, but you are so caring with others. If you get sick I do prefer you to be here so I can take care of you (and not your friends from work), hehe ^o^

           I love you, little fox.

          Think of me as much as I think of you. My days without you are not worth the same. My smile needs you to shine again… Come back to me soon, Kiki. Jiaqi… Your princess is waiting for you.

                                                                                     With love and jealousy from a possessive girlfriend,

                                                                                                                                                                 Kong Xue’er