I remember the first time Joy and I kissed. As cliché as it seems, there were fireworks. The butterflies in my stomach worked overtime. It was an afternoon after school and I waited for her to finish their org meeting so we can walk home together. I remember the sun setting at around 6:30 so we decided to watch it at the school grounds before going home.

Joy had already been my friend for as long as I remember, but there’s an unspoken realization between us; that we cared and cherished each other more than friends should. I remember sitting beside her on that grassy field, her arm wrapped around my shoulder as we stared at the setting sun. I don’t remember if I was the one who turned to face her or if she turned to face me first, but we just caught ourselves looking at each other’s eyes like they were the sunset themselves.

I leaned in closer as I was consumed by this pent-up adoration I have for her, her hot breath hitting my lips sooner than I expected. The drum beating in my chest was definitely a proof that I am wanting it, needing it. I wondered if Joy can hear it as she pushed towards me further, and then finally pressing her lips lightly against mine. Who knew we have it in us to not leave it at just gentle pressing of the lips, as it transformed into more passionate kissing. My lips parted as her head turned an angle to let our mouths connect even more. I remember enduring my mother’s wrath that night as it was past 9 in the evening when I reached home. In my head, I was thinking it was all worth it.

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I remember when Joy and I walked out of high school with our graduation robes and caps. The ceremony has been tear-filled, but we knew we’d stay together. After all, we only have each other; no plans. We had no money nor future, or so I thought. We took a picture of us laughing in our graduation robes at the same spot on that school grounds where we had our first kiss. Laughing because nothing else seems to matter, just thinking about us spending countless more days together was enough to fuel our laughter and happiness.

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I remember the first time we went to the nearby but bigger town together. It was beautiful and a fresh new sight for a small-town girl’s eyes albeit the pollution and thick crowd. There were more people in one place than I had ever seen in my life. I’ll admit, it was intimidating. It was more than I could take but I was willing to brave it for Joy. After all, it has been decided that here’s where we’re going for college. As usual, she was her adorable self and everytime she felt that I’m getting anxious, she would kiss my cheek and tell me that we’ll be okay. And I believed her.

I remember the first time we went to the university together. We were majoring for different things of course, and lucky enough she got into some sort of scholarship while I work part-time to be able to support myself in this 4-year journey of getting a diploma. I remember how Joy coaxes me to go to the school grounds to study and sometimes eat lunch there although we live in the same apartment. I loved how I already associated grass and sunsets with our relationship as we made great memories with those around us.

I remember the first time Joy and I slept together. It was an uneventful night. She just finished taking her final exams for the semester the day before. We’re sitting at our double-sized bed while planning to go home the day after tomorrow for a quick sniff of fresh air in our old rugged town.

I remember kissing the top of her head as she lays it down on my shoulder. There are no words, just our breathe-ins and breathe-outs. I knew then that I was sure that I love her and with that in mind, I initiated the first kiss that night. It was sloppy and clumsy for the first few minutes until I just found myself towering on top of her while she laid on our bed. Our bodies sweaty as we brought each other to different highs; one that ended with her collapsing beside me, panting softly and then falling asleep with her lips pressed sensually