Baekhyun closed the door to the apartment softly. The sound of shouting and other various noises signaled that the TV was on in the living room, and the smell in the area told Baekhyun that Chanyeol had been cooking.

“Baek, is that you?” Chanyeol yelled from the living room, the noises from the TV only slightly covering his boyfriend’s voice.

“Yeah, just gonna go freshen up,” Baekhyun replied. He took off his shoes, leaving them at the entrance before making his way to the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind him. He hadn’t lied with what he had said, but in all honesty, he came to the bathroom for one reason and one reason only. An inspection.

Baekhyun had been out all day, doing various scheduled activities with his side group, SuperM. They had interviews, dance practices, and other various things to film for the day, so the schedule was packed. Included in this schedule was a V-Live, where they were to simply sit and sing some of their songs from the new album.

This wasn’t an issue. No, this was actually by far the easiest of all the schedules of the day, which made every member glad it was what they were ending the busy day on. The V-Live itself went smoothly, and with little to no issues.

The issue though had been some of the comments.

During a portion of the live, where the members of the group were answering some of the fans’ questions and reading the comments, there had been some not-so-nice things that were floating around the chat. Not so nice things about Baekhyun in particular.

Baekhyun wasn’t really sure how he had caught them, considering how quickly the chat was moving, but he saw them, and then he kept seeing them. He wasn’t sure if any of the others saw these comments in particular, but they definitely stood out to Baekhyun.

‘Anyone else notice how Baekhyun’s been gaining some weight?’

‘I’ve been noticing the weight gain in Baekhyun, LOL. Wonder what happened to all that dieting.’

‘Yeah, Baekhyun has really taken this leader position as an excuse to let himself go, physically.’

To say those comments stung, would be a massive understatement. Those comments were some of Baekhyun’s worst fears. Baekhyun’s weight had always been a sensitive topic for him. It was never something he liked to talk about, and would often joke or laugh it off whenever he was asked about his dieting and exercise routines. Anything but that topic, anything.
He was shocked reading those particular comments, and though there weren’t many of them, he seemed to catch each one as they flew by in the chat, and they had been stuck in his head since he saw them.

‘Am I really that much heavier? Do I look as awful as they said? Have I been letting myself go?’ He thought to himself as he approached the mirror. It couldn’t be that bad, could it? He did notice that his cheeks were a little fuller, but they had always been that way. He was absolutely horrified. He never wanted to be seen in that light.

He reached for the bottom of his loose T-shirt, finally pulling the fabric over his head, and throwing it somewhere behind him. He had to see it for himself. He needed to see what he had let himself become.

His gaze was on the floor, hesitant to leave it. The bathroom tiles suddenly seemed much more interesting than his true intent of the visit. One more shaky breath, though he didn’t want to look, he needed to look.

With a sigh, he hesitantly lifted his gaze, finally staring into his reflection in the mirror. He winced when his eyes fell onto his bare stomach. He felt absolutely disgusting, completely horrible.

“I’m hideous” Baekhyun whispered to himself, tears welling up in his eyes. He took his hands, moving them along the skin of his stomach, pressing down to see how his fingers sunk into the skin resting there. “It’s so disgusting, I’m so disgusting.”

He had truly let himself go, those comments were completely right. If anything, he wishes he could thank them, for letting him know before it got even worse. He felt disgusting. Like a complete and utter mess. His own skin was repulsing to him.

He was usually always conscious of his weight, eating habits, and exercise routines, so he genuinely had no idea how he let himself go to this extent, and it made him feel horrible. He continued his gaze down to his thighs. He was sleeping in shorts, and though they weren’t very short, they gave the perfect view of his thighs.

His gaze drifted down to his thighs. He was dressed in sweats, but he could still clearly see how large they had become. Moving his hands down as well, he squeezed at the skin of his inner thighs, “Gross, gross, gross, I’m so ing gross.”

By now, those tears that had been building up were freely running down his cheeks. He couldn’t hold them back if he tried. To think he had been filmed and confident when he was looking like this? He wanted to laugh.

Perhaps he should go back to the strict dieting method he used during the Monster promotions. It gave him the results he wanted, and the fans seemed to enjoy the abs he had worked so hard for.

Thinking back to his body then, and his body now made him feel absolutely sick. He felt like he was a completely different person, he looked like a completely different person.. ‘This isn’t me.’

“Baek!” Chanyeol’s voice shouted, muffled by the door, startling the boy who stood in the mirror, making him flinch and look to the door. “Babe, dinner has been ready, hurry up before it gets cold.”

Oh yeah, dinner, Baekhyun thought to himself, grimacing at the thought of eating anything after looking at what his body has become. He couldn’t imagine putting on more weight at this moment.

“I’ll be out in a sec,” He replied, wiping the tears that had fallen down his cheeks. When Baekhyun heard nothing follow his reply he looked back to the mirror. He gazed once more between his stomach and thighs. Instead of pulling his shirt back on, he opted for the hoodie he saw sitting on top of the hamper. It was Chanyeol’s, which meant it would be oversized, and hopefully help hide what he looked like beneath it.

He left the bathroom, walking into the living room. Chanyeol was sitting shirtless on the couch, an empty plate on the coffee table in front of him. “There’s food in the kitchen, I made your favorite. I know you’ve had a long day,” Chanyeol smiled at him.

Instead of heading into the kitchen, Baekhyun simply sat next to Chanyeol on the sofa. He didn’t want to eat, not after the day he’s had and the discoveries he’s made. He couldn't bring himself to eat even if he tried.

“Baby, aren’t you hungry, you’ve been gone all—wait, why are your eyes red, have you been crying?” Chanyeol asked, worried. He pulled the shorter closer to him, taking his face into his hands, looking him over.

“N-no Yeol, I’m fine, really. Just got some soap in my eye while washing my face, no worries,” Baekhyun swiftly lied.

“Hm, alright. Why aren’t you eating though?”

“I’m not hungry,” Baekhyun answered, but he knew Chanyeol would press on if he didn’t lie some more. “I ate with Jongin on the way home.” That seemed to do the trick, making Chanyeol ease up, and let go of his face, opting for pulling the shorter into his embrace, while he leaned back into the cushions.

This was a position they usually took when cuddling on the couch. With Baekhyun’s back to Chanyeol’s chest, at least his face was out of view, but it opened new problems. Chanyeol hugged him closer, pulling Baekhyun to be sitting cuddled into his lap, which made the shorter uncomfortable.

‘Does he not feel how heavy I am? I know I’m crushing him.’ Baekhyun thought to himself. He didn’t feel good sitting here, it made him, even more, self-conscious. And if that wasn’t bad enough, Chanyeol’s arms found their way around his waist, resting his hands right on top of his stomach.

“I watched the live show, you were great. I mean, you all performed well, but you in particular, were great,” Chanyeol hummed, running his hands over his stomach in his usual loving manner.

When Chanyeol’s hands began touching the actual skin of his stomach, Baekhyun truly couldn’t continue. Before Chanyeol could go any further, even though he was just being affectionate, Baekhyun moved his hands back outside of his hoodie in a casual manner.

Chanyeol let out a small huff but didn’t say anything after. Allowing the couple to fall into silence, the only sound coming from their breathing and the TV in front of them.

When it was time to sleep, and the pair had finished brushing their teeth and were comfortably in bed, Baekhyun turned his back towards Chanyeol and laid against his pillow, simply wanting to sleep.

“Baek, babe, you’ve been so quiet tonight. Are you alright, you know I’ve missed you today,” Chanyeol sighed, once again pulling Baekhyun flush against his body. He gave the shorter a kiss to the back of his head before pulling away. “How are you still wearing this hoodie. It’s hot. You’re gonna overheat, under the blankets, take it off.”

Chanyeol really was just being caring, and looking out for Baekhyun, but Baekhyun couldn’t let Chanyeol do that. “No!” Baekhyun quickly spoke, smacking Chanyeol’s hands away from the bottom of the fabric.

At this, Chanyeol sat up. “Alright, what’s going on, hm? You’ve been weird all night. What’s the matter?”

“Nothing, I-I just don’t want to take it off,” Baekhyun quickly replied.

“Baek, do you know what temperature it is in here, and outside right now? You’re literally going to burn up sleeping in that and under the covers, besides you never like sleeping in long sleeves, even in the winter. You slapped my hands away babe, slapped. You and I both know something is going on, so just tell me,” Chanyeol sighed, turning on the lamp on the nightstand.

Baekhyun sat up, looking, and feeling guilty. He hadn’t meant to be so harsh and slap Chanyeol’s hands away. He just didn’t want the taller to see any more of what he had become than he already has.

He knows Chanyeol’s seen him shirtless recently, and the thought of it embarrasses him beyond belief, he was doing everything in his power to keep from shuddering at the thought. “Baek,” Chanyeol said softly, scooting closer to him this time. Placing a hand on his cheek, he rubbed his thumb over it softly, “what’s wrong? You know you can tell me anything.”

Baekhyun tried to hold it in, he really did. But when Chanyeol looked at him like that, there wasn’t much more he could have done. Hot tears began sliding down his face, to Chanyeol’s horror. Baekhyun tightly hugged around Chanyeol, stuffing his face into his chest.

“Oh baby, hey it’s okay,” Chanyeol comforted, one hand rubbing down the other’s back and the other resting on the back of his head. Sobs began spilling from Baekhyun’s mouth, making him shake in Chanyeol’s embrace.

“What’s hurting you so badly my love?” Chanyeol asked, frowning deeply.

“I-I-the live, and the comments—and i just—they’re all r-right Yeol, everything t-they say is right,” Baekhyun choked out between his cries.

“Who’s right, what did they say?” Chanyeol asked, cautiously.

“T-they were talking about m-my weight, and it's t-true. I look a-awful right now. I’m s-so ing gross to l-look at, and I didn’t want y-you to see it anymore, I don't w-want you to l-look at how disgusting I am.”

“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol spoke firmly, “There is absolutely nothing, and I mean nothing, that is gross or disgusting about you. Do you hear me? You're beautiful in every ing way imaginable.”

“B-but I've gained s-so much weight, I'm so fat now,” Baekhyun hiccuped, his sobs finally coming to an end.

“So ing what? It doesn't matter if you've gained weight, but you're not fat Baek. I don't care what a few nasty comments said. Maybe you've gained weight, but you're healthy, and that's literally all that matters,” Chanyeol responded, “Don't look at yourself in such a negative way, do you know how much it hurts me to think that you feel this way about yourself?

Chanyeol loosened his hug, leaning back to look at Baekhyun. His eyes were red, and there were still some tears running down, but at least he wasn't sobbing anymore.

“You're so very beautiful,” Chanyeol whispered, using his thumbs to wipe away tears. “I love you so much.” Chanyeol kissed Baekhyun’s tear-stained cheeks, leaving pecks everywhere.

“The,” kiss, “most,” kiss, “beautiful,” kiss, “person,” kiss, “I’ve,” kiss, “ever,” kiss, “seen.”

Baekhyun slightly smiled at this, sniffling as he met Chanyeol’s eyes with his own.

“And don't you forget it.”