I don't know what's the worst thing...

Hurting the one I love the most or knowing that after all I did,  she never did not love me.

And it clearly shows...

I can see it all through her eyes...

The pain, longing and the love. 

But I hate it,  I hate to see that look on her.  She doesn't deserve this,  she doesn't deserve me. She's hurting. But I did this to her,  it's my fault and I can't do anything but to keep this... this what we are now. Keeping all the lies I made just for her to let go,  to leave with the love she have for me.

But she can't.

And so I wish...

I wish that she should hate me instead.

Because that is easier for me and for her,  so I could unhear the shattering pieces of her broken heart everytime I'm near her. 

That's the plan.

So I did

Because that's  easier than holding on to what we feel. Which will always be against to what those verdicts feel.

She love me

I love her

But I am a Kang and she is a Bae. 

And those names are always not meant to be.