Jongin stepped into the front seat of his BMW and synced his Spotify to his car. He typed in “Olivia Rodrigo” to the search bar and scrolled to the third track on the album. He couldn’t help but immerse himself into the lyrics. It felt like she was writing about his own relationship.

I got my driver's license last week
Just like we always talked about
'Cause you were so excited for me
To finally drive up to your house
But today, I drove through the suburbs
Crying 'cause you weren't around

Jongin remembered getting his license. Kyungsoo received his driver’s license the same day. Kyungsoo was his boyfriend of 9 years. Or was his boyfriend of nine years. They recently broke up and Jongin was still in his feelings about it.

Kyungsoo did most of the driving in the relationship. Jongin always whined his way out of it. He said it was such an inconvenience for him. Whenever Kyungsoo asked why he even bought a car, Jongin would rebuttle “It’s a front, hyung. Besides. You can always drive it. You’re much better at it than I am.  I can’t even parallel park!”

That’s how it always was. Jongin would whine his way out of things and made sure to compliment Kyungsoo whenever he could. Eventually Kyungsoo would give in to whatever Jongin asked of him.

“Fine,” Kyungsoo would reply. “But we’re listening to my daily mixes.” Of course, the latter was rarely true, but he had to feign putting his foot down with Nini sometimes. J

And you're probably with that blonde girl
Who always made me doubt
She's so much older than me
She's everything I'm insecure about
Yeah, today, I drove through the suburbs
'Cause how could I ever love someone else?

It was true. How could Jongin ever love someone else? Kyungsoo was his first and his only love despite being thrown into two very public relationships. That was one thing Kyungsoo absolutely refused. As much as it pained him to see Jongin taking one for their team, he couldn’t bear to be seen with someone he didn’t truly love so the thought that Kyungsoo might be with someone who wasn’t him hurt Jongin to the core. And if she was blonde and possibly older, that would be a double homicide.

And I know we weren't perfect
But I've never felt this way for no one
And I just can't imagine
How you could be so okay now that I'm gone
Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me
'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street

Kaisoo, as they were called by the fans, weathered the storms and stayed together during Jongin’s “dating” scandals, but there were a few times here and there when they would break up whenever they felt frustrated by the circumstances of their relationship. But it never lasted more than a few days. The two would quickly get over it and would decide it was much better to be together in secret than not at all. They had been together for over a decade and had been very much in love as much, if not more, as the moment Kyungsoo shyly asked Jongin on an actual date one night after dance practice.

And all my friends are tired
Of hearing how much I miss you, but
I kinda feel sorry for them
'Cause they'll never know you the way that I do
Yeah, today, I drove through the suburbs
And pictured I was driving home to you

It was true. Even though his friends loved hanging around Kyungsoo, they were tired of Jongin constantly bringing him up in conversation. Jongin was shameless. He would hope his friends would say something so he could  casually slip Kyungsoo’s name in the mix. But they didn’t know Kyungsoo the way Jongin did. No one did- not the fans, not their mutual friends, not the company… Jongin felt special. Kyungsoo was the sweetest, kindest, funniest, most entertaining human being Jongin had ever encountered. No one came close to him. Jongin knew life wasn’t a competition, but Kyungsoo was the ultimate person to him.

And I know we weren't perfect
But I've never felt this way for no one, oh
And I just can't imagine
How you could be so okay now that I'm gone
I guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me
'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street

Jongin contemplated all the sweet words Kyungsoo had said over the years. Was it all a ruse to make Jongin fall in love with him? When Kyungsoo would look Jongin in his eyes, he had felt like Kyungsoo wasn’t just peering at his face, but also deeply into his soul. Surely those words weren’t meaningless? They meant everything to Jongin. They were more valuable than any item in his closet. He would do anything to hear those words repeated back to him again.  Jongin also wondered- if he drove by Kyungsoo’s place, would Kyungsoo even care to look outside his window to see if he could spot Jongin from where he was standing? These were thoughts that ran rampant through his mind whenever he started feeling insecure about his relationship. Having been together for so long, would Kyungsoo soon get bored with him? Was Jongin easily replaceable?

Red lights, stop signs
I still see your face in the white cars, front yards
Can't drive past the places we used to go to
'Cause I still in' love you, babe (Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh)

Jongin knew even if he were to date someone else, it wouldn’t even compare to the love he had for Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo was the apex of his love and admiration. His love for Kyungsoo was immeasurable, although he still foolishly compared others to Kyungsoo. He had once compared Mark to Kyungsoo yet even Mark still fell short from the pedestal Jongin had Kyungsoo on.

Sidewalks we crossed
I still hear your voice in the traffic, we're laughing
Over all the noise
God, I'm so blue, know we're through
But I still in' love you, babe (Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh)

And there were all these spaces he and Kyungsoo shared. Who would get custody of them? There weren’t many since their rendezvous spots were always limited and private. Would he have to move out of his apartment and sell his furniture? Jongin couldn’t fathom sitting on the same couch where he spent late nights Netflixing and chilling with Kyungsoo.

I know we weren't perfect
But I've never felt this way for no one
And I just can't imagine
How you could be so okay now that I'm gone
Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me
'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street

Jongin began wiping away at tears he didn’t realize were streaming down his face and placed his head on the steering wheel lightly enough so his head wouldn’t press the horn. He knew he was only a little over a quarter of a century old and it might sound silly, but he was confident that Kyungsoo was the love of his life.  Which is why-

“Are you done?” he heard someone ask as they knocked on the driver’s side window. He recognized the voice right away. It was Kyungsoo.

“Yes, I just finished it,” Jongin said after he rolled down the window.

“So? What did you think?”

Jongin began sniffling. “Issokay.”

“Just okay? Wait- were you crying? Why are your eyes red?”

Jongin let out a heavy sigh.  “I was pretending I was in the music video and was thinking about what would happen if you ever broke up with me and I started making up scenarios in my head like who would get custody of our favorite hook up spots and oh , I would have to move and I’d have to drive again, which you know I hate-“ he began speaking rapidly.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down! Breathe in and out like Lamaze, Jonginnie. We are not really breaking up any time soon. You asked me to pretend to break up with you so you can, and I quote you, ‘get the vibe of the song.’”

“I know what I said. But it still hurt me thinking about this stuff.”

“Can I come in?”

Jongin nodded as Kyungsoo walked over to slide into the passenger’s seat.

He chuckled once inside the BMW.“I’m not used to being on this side of the car,” he attempted at making a joke to lighten up the mood. Jongin scowled back. He continued. “If it makes you feel any better, I’m more in love with you now than I have ever been. Even when you’re being dramatic out of solidarity with Olivia Rodrigo.”

“Would you even look out the window to see if I’m driving by your house?”

“There’s no way I can see that far,”Kyungsoo answered matter of factly.

“Wear your glasses then,” Jongin clapped back. He knew he was being pouty but he couldn’t stop. “Do you think you could easily replace me?”

“Beyonce said it best, babe: you’re irreplaceable.”

Jongin wailed. “She was telling him he was not irreplaceable. It was a break up song!”He began to cry even harder.

“Baby, stop.” Kyungsoo leaned in for a kiss on Jongin’s cheek. “These are just hypotheticals. Nothing is happening. You’re good. We’re good.”He began wiping the tears away from Jongin’s face with his thumbs while he was cradling Jongin’s pretty face.

Jongin started to hiccup from crying. It was about time to stop the theatrics. This had gone far enough.

“We don’t have to be broken up for you to appreciate the song, you know that right?”

“Yesssss.” Why was Kyungsoo being so logical while he was having a meltdown?

“And you know I love you, right?”

“Yes. I do know that. You show me every day, but what if-“

“Nope, not happening. You can’t get rid of me that easily,” Kyungsoo winked.

“Because I don’t think I can ever fall in love like this again.”

“I know,” Kyungsoo took Jongin’s left hand and began tracing shapes on the palm.“I don’t think I could either. I’m too sprung.”

“Calm down! Who are you?!? T-pain?” Jongin asked.

“Stop! I’m being serious,” Kyungsoo laughed. “’You are the finest, loveliest, tenderest, and most beautiful person I have ever known- and even that is an understatement.’”

“F. Scott Fitzgerald! How did you-?”

“I read when I want to,” Kyungsoo smirked.

“Why are you so perfect?”

Kyungsoo shook his head shyly. “Not me. You, on the other hand...”

“Shut up and take the compliment,” Jongin said before planting a kiss on Kyungsoo’s lips.“You always find the right words to say when I overthink.”

“I’m just stating facts, babe.”

They continued looking into each other’s eyes lovingly until Kyungsoo finally looked away. “You know, the whole album is a break up album...”

“Please, no!  Let’s unbreak up! That was torturous enough!” Nini giggled.

“I was thinking we could listen to it as we drive around aimlessly. It’s a good album.”

“Only if you drive! I’ve been in this driver’s seat too long already. It’s getting uncomfortable.”

“The seat adjusts, you know”Kyungsoo said teasingly.

“Don’t be an !”Jongin exclaimed.

“Fine. Your car or mine?”

“Might as well, take this one since we’re already in here.”

The two ungracefully switched sweats without stepping out of the car.

“I think that was a record, by the way,”Kyungsoo began as he pressed the button to the ignition. “For shortest break up.  Four minutes, two seconds. Hopefully this doesn’t become a thing. I don’t want to break up with you every time our favorite singers put out an angsty album.”

“Hmmm...” Jongin pondered. “But the make up is always amazing.”

Kyungsoo tilted his head back and started laughing his off. “Maybe we should skip the drive then.”

“Not until we finish the album. You’re not ing me to... what’s this song called? Brutal?”

“Hey! It’s a good song!”

“I’ll be the judge of that. You just drive, my y chauffer.”It was Jongin’s turn to place a kiss on Kyungsoo’s cheek.

Kyungsoo blushed as he drove into the night. Jongin coveted moments like these. Because although they weren’t perfect, he never felt this way for no one.