“Baekhyun.” Chanyeol’s voice called out from behind the camera.

The said boy looked over his shoulder to stare at the camera, eyes wide and looking startled as he clutched heavy looking books in both hands.

“Do you remember what significant thing happened here?” Chanyeol asked, pertaining to the school library. His hand appeared on the camera to hold Baekhyun’s books for him.

The latter smiled his usual rectangle shaped smile, the side of his eyes crinkling softly as he chuckled. “Of course. This is where we first met each other.”

 

*

 

Chanyeol closed his eyes and smiled, letting the fading memories flow back into his mind.

 

*

 

Chanyeol is bored out of his mind and sitting in the library to wait for Jongin’s classes to be over isn’t exactly his most favourite thing to do. He huffed loudly, startling the scrawny kid from across of him, and stared at the book in front of him. He can’t really say that Edgar Allan Poe’s The Cask of Amontillado is his type of book. It was too grotesque and graphic for him.

“I guess you’re going back to the shelf then.” he murmured to the book before picking it up and walking through towering aisles of books, looking for the place he had got it from.

Once found, he slotted the book in it’s rightful place and meant to turn back before he stopped dead on his tracks and stared as a short guy beside him ineffectively tried to reach the highest shelf.

Feeling pity, Chanyeol reached for the book the guy was trying to reach, Simon vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli, and handed the book down to him.

With his face red from embarrassment, the guy accepted the book and murmured a small thanks and made to walk past Chanyeol.

“It’s Bram.” Chanyeol blurted out.

The short guy halted, looking wide eyed and confused as he stared at the taller.

“What?”

Chanyeol pointed to the book and stared at the guy’s droopy brown eyes. “It’s Bram. In the book, Simon will be trying to find out who Blue is, it’s Bram.”

The guy only stared at him, too dumbstruck to say anything before he blinked once, his nostrils flaring as he glared at Chanyeol. “You do know you’ve spoiled the book for me, right?”

“Of course.” Chanyeol grinned. “I’m doing you a favor though so you don’t lose your mind trying to think of who Blue is.”

“.” the guy breathed out before kicking Chanyeol on the shin (which made him almost topple over a shelf) and walking out.

“I was doing you a favor!” Chanyeol screamed out after the retreating form of the short guy. He then shut his mouth, remembering where he is as the librarian shushed him.

The guy didn’t even bother looking back, only flipped Chanyeol the bird before walking out.

 

*

 

Opening his eyes, Chanyeol chuckled as he grabbed the remote once again and pressed play.

 

*

 

Baekhyun scrunched up his nose as he stared at the camera. “Turn that off.”

“No,” Chanyeol’s voice bellowed from behind the camera. “You look cute right now.”

“Me wearing Fantine’s costume and makeup doesn’t qualify as cute.” the smaller grumbled as he tried to snatch the camera from Chanyeol’s hands. The taller only raised it up higher, camera still focused on Baekhyun.

“You know... you’re kind of right, it doesn’t make you look cute.” he conceded and then chuckled as Baekhyun nodded fervently, obviously agreeing with Chanyeol’s statement. “It makes you look hot instead.”

Baekhyun flushed before giving out a war-like cry and jumped on Chanyeol. The camera fell on the floor and continued to record their feet as Baekhyun tried to tackle Chanyeol down.

The camera recorded their booming laughter echoing loudly throughout the almost empty hallway. The camera recorded as Baekhyun succeeded, grinned in triumph as he had Chanyeol underneath him. It also recorded Baekhyun leaning down to capture Chanyeol’s lips on his own, both smiling softly, unwilling to move from their current positions.

 

*

 

Chanyeol let out a low laugh, unable to tear the smile off his face as he stared at their squirming bodies in the video. Baekhyun had always hated the camera.

He could still recall memories that happened in that hallway as if they were yesterday.

 

*

 

“I still don’t know why we have to wait for Mr. Lim’s approval to use the court. We’re practicing for the honor of the school! We play for the team!” Jongdae dramatically exclaimed.

“Stop being so dramatic. Maybe Mr. Lim has had enough of when you used the court as a disco.” Jongin replied as he ducked to dodge a flying pen. Where did that even come from?

“Sigh.”

Jongin looked at Jongdae incredulously. “Did you just say sigh?”

Chanyeol could only snort at the two’s conversation before he side stepped two girl’s making out. Sometimes, walking in a school hallway is a pain in the .

Too busy sidestepping the two girl’s, Chanyeol doesn’t notice someone in front of him before it’s too late and he bumped into the guy, the papers the guy was clutching scattered all around the place.

“Would you watch where you’re going?!” the guy that Chanyeol bumped into scolded as he sat on the floor, grumbling to himself as he tried to pick up the papers that fell out of his grasp.

“I’m sorry! Here let me help you.” Chanyeol knelt down and helped picked up the scattered papers, all the while mumbling sorry. He stacked the papers up and handed it out to the guy.

His eyes widen as he saw the same guy from the library. His face in a scowl as he continued to grumble curses, seemingly unaware that it’s Chanyeol that he had bumped into.

“It’s you again.” the taller announced at the exact same time as the other guy lifted his eyes to look at Chanyeol.

That was all it took for his already scowling face to convert to a furious red as his hands clenched on the papers on his hands, crinkling them.

“You!” the short guy hissed as he pointed an accusing finger in Chanyeol’s chest. “Why is it always you?!”

Chanyeol started at the accusation, affronted of how the short one is so quick to blame him. “What do you mean me?! I helped you back then in the library! Helped! H, E, L--”

“I know how to spell you buffoon!” the guy fumed as he rolled the paper and smacked it on Chanyeol’s head.

“Ow! What the--”

“Uh, you okay Yeol?” Jongdae inquired as he and Jongin stared haplessly at the side.

“Of course I’m not okay and I don’t know you, why do you even know my name? Creeper.” the short guy answered as he collected all the papers in a huff.

The three could only stare at him dumbfounded.

“Your name’s Yeol?” Chanyeol asked incredulously, unbelieving that someone would have the same name as him.

“Of course not you dumb .” the guy rolled his eyes at Chanyeol as he stood up and dusted off imaginary dirt on his pants. “My name is Baekhyun and he obviously said Hyun which means he’s pertaining to me unless you’re name’s also Hyun which I doubt it is because it doesn’t suit a dumb idiot like you.”

Despite the insults being directed at him, Chanyeol can’t help but chuckle as he stared at Baekhyun.

“You deaf or something?” the taller asked as Jongin snorted and tried to cover it up with a cough as Baekhyun glared at him. “He said Yeol, not Hyun. I’m Yeol,” he stood up and extended his hands, smiling. “Chanyeol.”

Flushing from embarrassment, Baekhyun only scowled even more and tried to move past Chanyeol but then the taller caught his wrist, a grin on his face as he stared at the displeased face of the shorter. “Chanyeol. It’s Chanyeol.” The taller grinned wider, “Just wanted to say it again in case you heard it wrong.”

At that, Jongin and Jongdae erupted into laughing fits as Baekhyun tore his wrist from Chanyeol’s hold, face impossibly red.

 

*    

 

Chanyeol shook his head and fought off a smile as he focused on the screen as the video transitioned to another scene.

 

*

 

“And then there’s this one time where Chanyeol pissed on himself because of fright!” Baekhyun, drunk and giggling, exclaimed as he retold the story of Chanyeol’s most embarrassing moments.

“Shut up.” Chanyeol grumbled as he sat beside Baekhyun, finished in setting up the camera, his cheeks pink from both the embarrassment and the alcohol flooding his body.

The camera captured as Baekhyun leaned in and kissed Chanyeol wetly on the mouth.

Kyungsoo, barely even seen on the video, made a disgusted sound before suddenly standing up and situated his face right in front of the camera before shouting “Let’s sing Happy Birthday for Chanyeol!” he stood straight up once again and went back to his place before singing the birthday song.

Everyone followed suit,their voices shaky and incoherent, their minds too sloshed to even utter the proper lyrics.

“Happy Birthday Chanyeol!” Everyone greeted loudly after the song. Jongdae and Jongin landed a heavy smack on his back and Kyungsoo patted his head while Baekhyun kissed him wetly on the cheeks.

It was one of his best birthday’s ever.

 

*

 

Chanyeol paused the camera and heaved a huge sigh.

“Happy Birthday Chanyeol.” he murmured as his eyes roamed his empty flat, the four walls seemingly suffocating him with it’s deafening silence. He stood up and went to the kitchen to grab a beer before settling back down to the couch.

“ birthdays.” He whispered to himself as he gulped down the bitter taste of the golden liquid.

Birthday’s aren’t that special and besides, a lonely birthday isn’t as depressing as it sounds, he reminded himself as he remembered one particular birthday of his.

 

*

 

“Bloody Jongdae. I can’t believe he skipped the Film Club and escaped his errands just to watch Kyungsoo audition.” Chanyeol grumbled as he walked the lengths of the empty hallway.

Empty because it is after school hours and only students that are involved in a club roam around the campus at this late.

Today is supposed to be Chanyeol’s free time but seeing as how his irresponsible and very-much-in-love-with-Kyungsoo best friend is missing, he doesn’t have much choice but to finish Jongdae’s errands himself or face the wrath of Kim Heechul, the president of the Film Club.

What a great way to end his birthday.

He continued on with his murmurings, silently cursing Jongdae and wishing that his friend gets stuck in a hole or something before opening the film club’s stockroom.

Heechul had asked him to take out an extra microphone since the one on the club room wouldn’t sync properly. He went for the cupboard where he’s sure the microphone’s are stored and opened it only to gasp back in shock and land on his as he stared wide eyed at Baekhyun, cramped up inside the cupboard, looking at him with an equally shocked look in his eyes.

“What are you doing there?! How did you even fit?! You scared me!” Chanyeol shrieked out as he forced his rapidly beating heart to calm down.

Baekhyun, looking awfully comfortable even while cramped up, lifted his index finger to his mouth. He started to say something before someone rattled on the doorknob. Both of their head whipped around to look at the thing as it rattled, someone from the other side shouting obscenities and ordering to open the door. Chanyeol hadn’t even noticed that he had locked the door.

“Say I’m not here!” Baekhyun whisper-shouted at him before closing the cupboard door.

Dazed and a little bit confused, Chanyeol stood up, went to the door and opened it to a frenzied and harried looking Kim Taeyeon, the president of the Drama Club. “Is Byun Baekhyun there?!”

“Uh, no...” Chanyeol said slowly, scared and unsure.

“Argh!” Taeyeon roared before she stomped off to God knows where, her usually straight hair frizzing out from behind her head.

When she was out of sight, Chanyeol turned back and locked the door once again before opening the cupboard.

“She’s gone.”

“Oh thank goodness!” Baekhyun exclaimed as he crawled out and stretched up (still short) his shirt riding up, exposing a pale and tight stomach. Chanyeol forced his seemingly glued eyes back up to Baekhyun’s face instead of the sliver of skin.“That girl is crazy!”

“Why were you hiding from her?”

“No reason.” Baekhyun shrugged one of his shoulders as he stared at Chanyeol from beneath his fringe. “Thanks.”

“Uh... You’re welcome?” Chanyeol stuttered out, suddenly feeling flustered with seeing Byun Baekhyun act so shy and coy.

Of course the image of an attractive Baekhyun would be destroyed none other than Byun Baekhyun himself.

The short guy snorted as he walked past Chanyeol. “Eloquent as ever. Happy Birthday by the way.”

Chanyeol could only stare at his retreating back, confused and a little bit amused by what had transpired.

“How’d you even know it’s my birthday?”

The shorter merely shrugged his shoulders and left the same way he did on the first time they met.

 

*

 

“Now that, was a weird birthday.” Chanyeol snorted as he turned back to the video, beer in hand and remote in the other.

 

*

 

“How did you even ask him out when you both were so spiteful towards each other?” Kyungsoo asked as he sipped on his smoothie, his eyes looking even bigger on video than in person.

“I did it romantically.” Chanyeol’s voice bellowed behind the camera.

Baekhyun snorted from his place beside Kyungsoo and waved his strawberry smoothie around. “Don’t listen to him. It was far from romantic. He blackmailed me.”

Kyungsoo raised one brow at the man behind the camera.

“It wasn’t blackmail! He owed me one.” Chanyeol declared.

“And which part of it, may I ask, was romantic?” Baekhyun mocked.

For other people, the mocking may seem insulting but underneath that layer of mockery, Chanyeol could see Baekhyun’s mask. The smaller’s cheeks are tinged with pink, the side of his mouth threatening to tug upwards. Chanyeol had to use all of his willpower not to pull him in a snogging session.

“Every single part.” Chanyeol answered from behind the camera. Baekhyun only rolled his eyes at Chanyeol, his lips finally tugging upwards on one corner as he fought off a smile.

 

*

 

Chanyeol paused the video and stared at Baekhyun’s little smile. He saw it a million times already but that doesn’t make it any less beautiful.

In fact, it got even more beautiful. Especially when Baekhyun wore that very same smile when Chanyeol asked him out.

 

*

 

“Byun, go out with me.” Chanyeol blurted out.

It took every ounce of his courage to say that out loud. Coming up here to ask Baekhyun out had been something akin to going through a battle for the taller.

Baekhyun stared at him, face blank and devoid of any emotion. “What.”

“Go out with me.” Chanyeol repeated, fist clenched as he readied himself for a string of insults.

Baekhyun stared at him some more before bursting out laughing in an exaggerated manner, his laugh so loud that the other students in the cafeteria are looking at them funnily.

“I’m not kidding!” Chanyeol fumed as he gritted his teeth, his neck flushing red down to his chest because of embarrassment.

“Oh no, please don’t think I’m laughing at your severe stupidity because I’m not. Definitely not.” Baekhyun grinned woodenly one last time before ignoring him entirely and going back to his lunch.

Chanyeol furrowed his brows, and gathered all the remaining stubbornness that he had with him. He sat across of Baekhyun and grabbed his plate away from him, not listening to the shorter’s squawks of indignation as he stared him in the eye.

“You will go out with me.”

Baekhyun stared at him through narrowed eyes before scoffing and rolling his eyes. “No.”

“You will go out with me because I said so.” Chanyeol forced out through gritted teeth.

“And why would I even do anything you say?” The shorter challenged through narrowed eyes.

After a beat, Chanyeol replied in a whisper. “Because if you won’t, Taeyeon will hear some very interesting news of someone hiding from her and calling her a crazy girl.”

Baekhyun gasped out loudly, appalled. He squinted and glared at Chanyeol through narrowed eyes. “You wouldn’t.” he whispered threateningly.

“Watch me.” Chanyeol whispered back and made a move to stand up but was stopped with Baekhyun’s hands on his shoulder, bringing him back down on the chair in front of him.

“Fine, I will.” He gritted out.

Chanyeol let out a triumphant grin. Unconsciously, the side of Baekhyun’s lips tugged upwards on the sides.

 

*

 

Chanyeol stared at Baekhyun’s small smile on the screen as he let out a sob. His tears like rivulets of rain pouring down his cheeks.

Anything. He’d do anything to take back that smile. Anything, even if it meant his own life.

He turned the television off and buried his face on the couch instead. The remote is digging into his palms and the edge of it is biting sharply into his hands but he pays it no mind and instead, clutches it harder.

Not lifting his head from the couch, he throws off the beer against his wall and sobs in time with the bottle breaking.

He has always been used to pain, immune to it as they say but as it turns out, he’s not quite immune to this type of hurting.

His mind is clouded with visions of Baekhyun smiling up at him, his button nose wrinkling a little and his eyes squinting into slits. Of Baekhyun laughing at Chanyeol’s poor excuse of cooking and the state of the kitchen and how it would infuriate Kyungsoo. Of the way Baekhyun’s eyes lit up when Chanyeol showed up (sweating and panting and very much late) at his play, looking stunning even while dressed up as a female e. He’d give anything to get that smile back. Anything at all.

The ringing of his phone sounded loud and startling against the quietness of his flat. He sniffed his nose, rubbed at his eyes and picked up his phone.

“Hello?” he answered, not even bothering to read the caller ID.

[You’re crying again, aren’t you?]

“I’m not.” Chanyeol replied as he cleared his throat, wishing there was a way for him to lie to Kyungsoo without being found out.

[Stop lying to me.]

A quick silence stretched out as no one said a word.

[It’s been one year, Yeol.]

“I know that!” he cried out as he rubbed his face with his left hand, his other one holding the phone. “I know that...” he echoed out in a more quiet tone.

[Do you want me to cover up for you?]

Chanyeol contemplated the offer but then thought of how Baekhyun would’ve reacted if he accepted it. His midget would’ve been infuriated.

“No,” he sat up as he rubbed at his eyes, “No. I’ll be there.”

The other end of the line was silent for a second before Kyungsoo let out a shaky breath. When he spoke, his voice croaked.

[I’m so glad you’re trying. I’m so happy, Yeol.]

Chanyeol could only listen to Kyungsoo’s sobbing as he stared at the broken bottle on the floor.

 

*

 

“Park, where the hell are you taking me?” Baekhyun asked as he sat down on the bus, Chanyeol followed suit and sat beside him. Their legs pressed up together as the bus is cramped up and Chanyeol’s legs go on for miles.

“Somewhere fun.” Chanyeol only grinned at the shorter as Baekhyun huffed at his answer.

Truthfully, Chanyeol has been very nervous for this first date of theirs. He had stalked Baekhyun in all social media platforms to know what he likes and he’s not even sure if Baekhyun would like where they are heading.

“Why are you so tall...” the shorter mumbled under his breath, his eyes taking in Chanyeol’s sweat pants clad legs.

“Are you jealous?”

The shorter huffed once again before glaring at Chanyeol. “I’m not, you giant oaf.”

“Nah, you’re jealous because you’re a midget.” Chanyeol drawled and stared as Baekhyun sputtered, affronted with the taller’s words.

“Well excuse me but not everyone is born as tall as you but that does not make me a midget!”

Chanyeol could only laugh as Baekhyun rambled on about the importance of respecting everyone’s height.

 

*

 

“Happy Birthday.” Kyungsoo greeted him with a hug, his short arms warm and always inviting, almost the same as Baekhyun’s. “I’m glad you could make it.”

“He would’ve wanted me to.” he whispered back as he straightened up. Kyungsoo took one look at him before he sighed softly.

“They’re always crooked when you tie them on your own.” The shorter of the two whispered as he reached out to fix Chanyeol’s tie.

“He always righted it for me.”

Kyungsoo stared up at him as his hands fell from Chanyeol’s tie, his wide eyes saying a thousand things, all of them screaming hurt and sadness.

“I’m sorry.” Chanyeol muttered once again. Kyungsoo only nodded once and turned his back to him.

“Let’s go.” the shorter ordered as he entered the studio. Chanyeol followed suit.

 

*

 

“Oh...” Baekhyun stared wide eyed at his surroundings.

“I was hoping you’d react better than that.” Chanyeol stated, his grin wide as he stared at the place.

People are teeming out and about, the place is full of people in colorful shirts, the rainbow flag being waved around everywhere as people smiled at everyone.

“This is...” Baekhyun trailed off as a guy with his torso painted all the colors of the rainbow passed by him.

“Pride Parade.” Chanyeol muttered as a woman kissed another woman in front of him.

“Oh my God...” Baekhyun blinked. “Oh my God!” he started jumping up and down as his lips morphed into that familiar rectangle shaped grin.

“Told you you’d love it.” Chanyeol smirked, staring at the ecstatic boy beside him. He opened his bag and searched for something, once found, he handed it out to the latter. “Wear these.”

Baekhyun stared at the crop top that says “Gay Unicorn”, yellow skinny jeans and green wig that Chanyeol handed out to him, astounded. “But what are you going to wear then?”

“This.” Chanyeol winked before removing his jumper only to reveal a purple skin tight shirt that says “Biuality is Reality”. Next, he removed his sweat pants which revealed a blue skinny tattered jeans. Lastly, he rummaged his bag for a second before bringing out a pink long wig with a bangs on it and a big ribbon on top.

Baekhyun could only stare at him wide eyes before his lips broke out into a grin. “Let’s go.”

 

*

 

“Good Evening Mr. Park Chanyeol, we are so happy you could come.” the interviewer, Kim Junmyeon stated out as he welcomed Chanyeol with a big hug.

“Good Evening as well.” Chanyeol greeted out before sitting down beside Kyungsoo who looked as formal and as proper as usual.

“It’s such a surprise for you to actually appear today.” Junmyeon blurted out. Chanyeol could only duck his head as Kyungsoo gripped his hands.

Kyungsoo coughed out and smiled as the interviewer turned to him. “He’s been through a lot.”

The interviewer only nodded and smiled lightly. “It’s been one year since we lost a great performer.”

“He was more than a performer.” Chanyeol stated, eyes never leaving Junmyeon’s as he took a deep breath. “He was a brother. A friend... A lover.”

Junmyeon let out a small smile. “A lover... Indeed, you have witnessed him as a lover since you have been friends for such a long time already.” Junmyeon took his eyes away from Chanyeol and smiled at the audience. “Everyone loved him as he performed in theaters.” Junmyeon’s stare went back to him, eyes suddenly going from warm to calculating. “The people loved him as he portrayed a leading role in a drama.”

“A drama that was never finished.” Chanyeol croaked out and averted his eyes to the audience.

He couldn’t process their faces. Couldn’t process the way they stared at him as if they knew his pain. As if they knew how deep Baekhyun’s death affected him. Chanyeol could only see numerous faceless people trying to sympathize to someone they barely knew.

They never knew Baekhyun. They only knew the Byun Baekhyun, the one that the media adored. They never knew his Baekhyun.

“Everyone has a lot of questions for you Mr. Park.” At that, Chanyeol turned his eyes at Junmyeon, eyes blank. Staring but not seeing. “Today, we offer this interview as a way to honor the great performer, the darling of the media, the death anniversary of the late Byun Baekhyun.”

A loud clapping soon followed but Chanyeol could barely hear it. All he is ever aware of is Kyungsoo’s hands in his. The warmth of comfort he had always found in Kyungsoo.

 

*

 

“I love you.” Chanyeol blurted out.

Baekhyun, in the middle of munching on a huge scoop of ice cream cake, choked on the dessert as he heard Chanyeol’s statement.

“What.” The former wheezed out as he thumped on his chest, trying to ease his burning throat.

“I said I love you.” Chanyeol stated out once again. Eyes deeply focused on Baekhyun’s face. Searching, searching, and searching for anything that would betray his emotions.

Baekhyun stared at him, his face blank as he gripped a bottled water on his hand. For a second, Chanyeol thought that the shorter would throw the water on him.

“Whatever you’re playing at Park, it’s not funny.” Baekhyun gritted out before he stood up and walked out of the store. Dumbfounded, Chanyeol could only stare at his retreating back before his brain caught up with him.

He hurriedly went after the shorter, heart beating so fast it’s threatening to rip out of his chest.

“I wasn’t joking!” Chanyeol shouted out as the shorter refused to acknowledge him.

When a thought came to his mind, Chanyeol looked left and right and saw no one in the vicinity of the parking lot. Gathering up his courage and fighting down the embarrassment he is feeling, Chanyeol inhaled deeply before screaming at the top of his lungs. “Byun Baekhyun I am truly, madly and deeply in love with you.”

The shorter stopped on his tracks.

“I am so... so in love with you.” he whispered softly. But the way Baekhyun’s back froze only indicated that he heard it.

Suddenly, the shorter turned around so fast that Chanyeol could only blink as he stormed up towards Chanyeol and pressed a finger to his chest.

“If you’re kidding with me Park, I swear I will be the one to end your life.” Baekhyun threatened before his hands fisted Chanyeol’s shirt to pull the taller down.

Chanyeol’s heart stopped beating as the smaller’s lips pressed against his. Suddenly, all he is aware of is how the only thing he could hear is the ringing on his ears and the feeling of Baekhyun’s lips on his.

“I love you too you dumb giant oaf.”

Chanyeol could only smile into the kiss.

 

*

 

“As we all know, Byun Baekhyun has been someone who had touched many people’s life. He was one of the few people in the show business who was very outspoken about the LGBTQ+ community. He was very passionate about it.” Junmyeon prattled on about Baekhyun’s achievements but Chanyeol tuned him out.

For him, Baekhyun was more than his achievements.

“You okay?” Kyungsoo asked him quietly, bringing his senses back to the world. Chanyeol merely nodded as an answer.

“Here, we have two of Byun Baekhyun’s greatest friends. Park Chanyeol and Do Kyungsoo.”

The crowd applauded as Kyungsoo stood up, bringing Chanyeol up to his feet too. As they sat down, Junmyeon wasted no time with dilly dally.

“Everyone was devastated with the loss of Byun Baekhyun.” Chanyeol stared hard at the floor, feeling vile rising up to his throat. They weren’t devastated with his loss. No one grieved his loss more than I did. He thought as Junmyeon continued speaking. “But people were alarmed as of why Park Chanyeol, a rising star director, seemed to have disappeared without any trace following Byun Baekhyun’s death.”

Chanyeol lifted his eyes from the ground and looked at Junmyeon hard in the eyes.

“People were wondering why you disappeared. Were you grieving Baekhyun’s death? Some people have even concluded that you grieved the loss of that drama you were directing. The one which starred Byun Baekhyun. Some said you were more devastated with the loss of profit than the artist’s death.”

Kyungsoo’s grip on his hands only went tighter.”You don’t have to answer.” he whispered quietly, voice shaky and so unlike him that Chanyeol took his eyes away from Junmyeon to look at his.

Kyungsoo’s eyes looked broken.

 

*

 

“Are you sure about this?” Kyungsoo asked as he stared at Chanyeol. The taller of the two smiled slightly.

“I’ve never been this sure all my life.”

And it’s the truth. He has never been so sure of a decision all of his life. True, it was a daunting step. It was a fork in the road which could either break him or make him the happiest man in the world but he found that he could care less about the consequences. He wanted this more than anything he has ever wanted in all his life.

“I’m so proud of you.” Kyungsoo whispered before pulling him into a hug.

Chanyeol hugged him back tight and stared at the diamond ring on his coffee table. “I’m so in love with him Soo.”

Kyungsoo chuckled and hugged him even tighter. “I know, I can almost see you radiating with happiness every single time that you’re together.”

“He’s my life.” Chanyeol whispered.

And that statement can’t even put a justice into what he feels for Baekhyun. Falling for Baekhyun had been somehow expected. It wasn’t surprising that he’d fall in love with the midget. Chanyeol swears that he could even say that he has loved Baekhyun even before he knew him.

Somewhere deep inside him, he knows that it has always been Baekhyun right off from the bat. Chanyeol knows that falling in love and getting married are two different things. But falling in love with Baekhyun feels inevitable and marrying him feels like the most right thing in the world.

“When he comes back, the first thing that I’d be doing is proposing to him.” Chanyeol continued as his whole body shook.

He’d never admit it but the thought of asking Baekhyun to marry him is as daunting as jumping off a cliff and Kyungsoo’s presence served as a comforting warmth that he had always needed.

“I’m so very proud of you.” Kyungsoo whispered back before kissing his forehead. “I’m so happy for you both.”

“I’m scared.” he croaked out.

“Of course you’re scared.” Kyungsoo chuckled before he pulled back and looked at Chanyeol straight in the eyes. “Fear would always be there. It would never leave.”

“What if I say the wrong thing? What if he won’t accept it?” Chanyeol turned frantic as more and more pessimistic thought drifted into his mind but Kyungsoo merely shushed him.

“Anything could go wrong Yeol...” Kyungsoo’s brown eyes bore into his. “But if there’s one thing I’m sure of, it would be the fact that Baekhyun would never turn you down. He’d accept your proposal because from what I can see, he loves you just as much as you love him. You two are the biggest smitten idiots I know.”

Chanyeol laughed hard as he felt fear leave his body.

 

*

 

Chanyeol stared at Kyungsoo’s broken eyes. The way they glistened with unshed tears. Suddenly, the truth slaps Chanyeol brutally in the face.

All this time he had cooped himself up into his apartment, grieving Baekhyun’s loss. His friends, Kyungsoo, Jongdae and Jongin was grieving as much as him. They suffered Baekhyun’s loss the way he did. Felt his death suffocating them the way it did to him. All this time he had been selfishly thinking of his loss that he didn’t pause to think that Baekhyun wasn’t only his lover. Baekhyun was also a friend to many. He wasn’t the only one who lost Baekhyun to that plane crash.

Slowly, he tore his eyes away from Kyungsoo’s face and brought it back to Junmyeon’s questioning eyes.

“Baekhyun...” he started, voice soft and barley audible. “Baekhyun was more than a friend to me.”

Most of the audience gasped.

“More than a friend?” Junmyeon inquired softly as if talking to a lion who’d tear him apart if he said the wrong thing.

“He was my lover.” At that, the audience broke out into whispers but Chanyeol paid them no mind, only staring at Junmyeon as he nodded softly.

“Chanyeol was...” Kyungsoo’s voice broke the noise of the studio as everyone fell into a hush. “Chanyeol was planning on proposing to him after he comes back from the U.S.”

“Oh...” Junmyeon, as well as the people from the audience, became dead silence as they stared at Chanyeol in confusion and pity. “Then why...”

“Why was our relationship kept in secret?” Chanyeol asked as he smirked. Softly, he chuckled and shook his head. “He was scared of the people’s reactions to it. Our country isn’t the most open about these things and the thought of millions of people scrutinizing our relationship was frightening him.”

“It was too soon.” Kyungsoo croaked out. Chanyeol felt his throat being clogged up with a lump the size of a golf ball, suddenly unable to speak as his eyes stung with tears. “He was taken too soon.”

 

*

 

Chanyeol groaned as he opened his eyes, silently cursing the person who’s calling, he opened his phone and answered it, not looking at the caller ID.

“What?! For ’s sake it’s three in the morning. It’s my birthday, today’s my free day.”

[Yeol, have you heard the news?]

Jongdae’s voice echoed out of the phone, his voice sounding scared and harried.

Chanyeol perked up a little and rubbed his hands over his eyes. “What? What news?”

[Baekhyun’s plane...]

At that, the taller completely sat down and wiped his fringe out of his eyes. “What happened?”

Silence answered him as Jongdae grew quiet, his breathing turning hard and frantic.

“Jongdae what happened to Baekhyun’s plane?!” Chanyeol barked out.

[It crashed!] Jongdae blurted out, panicked. [His plane crashed Yeol and the authorities have not yet found any survivors.]

Chanyeol’s hand dropped the phone, suddenly loosing all the strength he had in him.

 

*

 

Baekhyun gazed up at Chanyeol’s eyes, his stare soft and warn.

Noticing the shorter’s eyes on him, Chanyeol turned to his side and placed his right hand on Baekhyun’s back, in the spot where his spine ends and his bum starts. Baekhyun smiled and shifted a little bit as he reached his hand up to wipe Chanyeol’s fringe off of his face, the satin sheet covering his body from waist down slips a little.

“I’ve got to tell you something.” the shorter of the two whispered as his eyes trailed Chanyeol’s face.

“What is it?” Chanyeol inquired, his voice ever as low but having a soft feel to it. When Baekhyun remained quiet, Chanyeol shifted and used his elbows as a leverage and brought himself up, staring down at Baekhyun. The hand on the shorter’s back trailed up until it reached Baekhyun’s cheeks. “You can tell me anything.”

“I...” Baekhyun averted his eyes from the taller’s burning gaze before taking a deep breath before looking up at Chanyeol once again. “Aspire Magazine contacted me. Said they wanted me to grace the cover for their December Issue.”

Chanyeol’s jaw dropped as he stared at Baekhyun, mind blank as he felt his heart thump hard across his chest. After a beat, having collected himself, his lips formed into a grin, heart so full as he looked at Baekhyun’s soft gaze. After all, Aspire Magazine is known to be the best Fashion Magazine in the world. This kind of achievement made Chanyeol so proud of Baekhyun that he could feel nothing but happiness for him.

“That’s great. When do you shoot?”

“I have to shoot in Canada.” The shorter let out in a murmur as he looked away from Chanyeol. “It will take a month.”

Understanding bloomed into Chanyeol’s mind. His grin turned into a mellow smile as he took Baekhyun’s chin into his hand and brought it up to force the smaller to look into his eyes.

“It’s only a month. I understand. A month is nothing.” the former whispered softly as he leaned forward to kiss Baekhyun’s ear.

The shorter’s brows furrowed at the taller’s words. “A month is a long time! Could you really bear that? I’ll be back at the day of your birthday but that just means I won’t be able to prepare things to throw you a party!”

At that, the taller’s smile fell off his lips as he brought his head back to stare at Baekhyun’s eyes instead. “It’s a long time. Damn yes it is.”

“Then why...”

“Because I love you.” Chanyeol watched as a blush crawled it’s way into Baekhyun’s cheeks. “I love you so much that your happiness is more important for me than my selfishness of having you with me everyday. You’ve waited for this all your life and now it’s finally here. And you’ll arrive on the day of my birthday, right? That’s enough for me.” He paused for a while, letting the words register into Baekhyun’s mind before kissing the lips under him languidly. Pulling back, he continued, “Besides, a month is nothing compared to the time we have in our hands.”

Baekhyun smiled at the last words, “May I ask how long of a time we have in our hands?” he asked playfully, already knowing the answer.

“Forever, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol whispered before their lips met in a chaste kiss, he pulled back for a second to whisper, “Forever and Everlasting.” into Baekhyun’s ear before diving in for a more passionate kiss.

 

*

 

“Do you want me to drive you home?” Kyungsoo asked as he turned to stare at Chanyeol. Chanyeol merely smiled blandly before shaking his head.

“Jongdae’s waiting for you at home.”

“He’d understand.” Kyungsoo whispered but seeing Chanyeol’s smile turn into a real one before shaking his head once again, he sighed and nodded.

“Just call us if you need us, okay?”

Chanyeol nodded.

Kyungsoo turned his back on him but before he could walk any further, Chanyeol called him out. Kyungsoo looked over his shoulder questioningly.

“Thank you.” Chanyeol whispered.

And as though understanding what he meant, as though understanding that the thank you wasn’t only for his unwavering support today, Kyungsoo smiled and nodded before walking off.

Chanyeol stared at his friend’s back for the last time, burning the memory of it on the back of his mind before he turned and went to his car.

 

*

 

Both of them stared in awe as the city lights blinked up at them like stars while up above them the real stars blinked down lazily.

“It’s beautiful.” Baekhyun whispered as he stared at the lights.

Standing at a cliff’s edge maybe daunting but the view of the city was enough to get rid of their fright. The beauty that they see is enough for them to remain on where they are standing, knees weak at the prospect of being so close to the edge but still fighting the fright off just to witness the beauty that the view can give.

“Yeah.” Chanyeol replied breathlessly, excited and scared at the same time.

Later, they are found sitting at the hood of Chanyeol’s car, five meters away from the cliff as they stare up at the stars.

“How much time does a human have in the palm of their hands?” Baekhyun suddenly voiced out, breaking the comfortable silence that settled around them.

“I don’t know. A hundred, maybe?”

Baekhyun turned his head to look at him. “I don’t think so.”

Eyebrow arching up, Chanyeol turned and met Baekhyun’s gaze. “Yeah? How many do you think then?”

“I also don’t know.” Baekhyun answered before staring up at the stars again. Chanyeol, however, kept his gaze trained on Baekhyun’s face. “But I have a theory.”

“Pray tell, what is this theory of yours?” Chanyeol asked, amusement lacing his voice.

“I think, the time that a human has in their hands is the the same as the time it takes them to count all of the stars in the universe.” Baekhyun replied, smiling softly before meeting Chanyeol’s gaze once again.

“Forever then?”

Baekhyun smiled at Chanyeol’s question before he closed the space between them. Before their lips met, he whispered out “Forever and Everlasting.” before their lips met.

 

*

 

Chanyeol stared at the cliff’s edge, heart beating wildly in his chest to the point where he’s afraid it will leave a crack on his rib cage.

The air is cold and is unforgiving against his skin but he pays it no mind. With his eyes trained at the city lights, he whispered quietly into the wind.
“Forever and Everlasting.”

Slowly, he turned his head up to look at the stars before taking a step.