Yes, we were just friends when you met her. We were just friends when both of you started to got close. You even shared some conversations you had with her, I can tell that you’re happier when you’re with her, that you’re inlove with her. Then, both of you started dating, but we still remained as friends. Valentine’s day was approaching, and you asked me to help you plan a surprise for her. She was your very first love.

We were just friends when both of you are already an official couple. I saw the happiness and joy in you when you told me about it. I felt special when I was the first one to know, but hurt is inevitable.

I became your personal planner for every occasion regarding to both you. The first monthsary, valentine’s date, first Christmas together and the like. I admit that I’m a fool. A fool where I know it will hurt me, but still did it anyway, for the sake of your happiness. I’m not denying it, but I know that is love, love is being stupid. Maybe love is not about asking to receive the same thing. Maybe, that’s just how I am going to express my love for you, expressing it from afar. Perhaps hurting myself for your happiness contends what love really is.

She was thinking of proposing to you, and it was her time to ask me to help her plan the proposal. Thinking about your happiness, my foolishness took over me and decided to hurt myself once again by helping her. It was not really a surprise that you said yes, you were very happy about it to the point that you even cried. I was watching both of you savoring the moment, I was happy but still, you can’t hide the fact that hurt is inescapable.

A few days before your engagement, happened. You saw her making out with someone else. You saw her enjoying her moment, grinning, not even thinking that it’s ruining you. I was with you that time, I saw instant hurt in your eyes. You felt the things that I felt before, things I wished that you won’t ever encounter, because you don’t deserve it. You weren’t able to process what was going on, you stiffened on your spot and I decided to cover your eyes and pulled you into a hug, “it’s okay you can cry n-now..” my voiced cracked there, you don’t deserve this. I was ready to kill someone named Kim Minju that night.

So you broke up with her. The chance was in my reach, but I know that is not really important right now. For now, you need someone to take care of you. Other people would say you need time, but I know you. I already know many things about you, and I knew that you need me more than you needed space. You need a friend to talk to.

You were able to loosen up for almost half a year, and that’s when I decided to tell you what I feel towards you, that I felt something other than platonic love. I asked you to let me court you, and I was the happiest at that moment, you agreed. “I will never ever mess up this chance” I promised to myself.

It took me 3 months to hear you say yes, and if I remember right, it was the time when we won the volleyball game and Yuri asked me to take a picture with her. We were teased by my co-players and I just stared at you. You came running at me and I can still remember how you said yes to me, “congratulations Choi, this is the last day of you being single!” and that was one of the happiest days of my life.

In those three months, we ate a lot of food, sleep overs, movie nights, played games, washed ganjang and bibi together, we dance together, we drove anywhere with music that we sang along with, watching how the wind touched your face thinking how could she let lose someone like this beautiful, you caught me staring at you and said “hey unnie, I know I’m pretty but you need to keep your eyes fixated on the road.”

February 14^th, it was our first date and we walked to mall to watched a movie and play in the arcade afterwards. We watched endgame, and after the movie we both were filled with tears because of the movie, I mean who would watch a movie with a sad ending on a day filled with love right? But we had fun in the arcade anyways, well everytime when I’m with you is fun. We were so happy that day, not until we saw her walking towards us with teary eyes, I went between both of you facing her. It felt like I was your super hero that time, but he didn’t bother any longer, and left you distraught with eyes full of tears. That’s when I thought that you still love him, I did not bother to ask you because I already know what’s the answer.

The next day, I was very surprised and joy was evident in me at that time, you called and asked for marriage. I think I was wrong about my speculation about yesterday, that you still haven’t felt my love. You were in a hurry that you already want us to get married in the next 2 weeks, as for the whipped lover that I am, who am I to resist? I was patiently waiting for this time of my life, that the one I love will be mine for a lifetime already, and I guess this is it. I really hoped that this was it.

I was trembling(in a good way) the day of our marriage. I felt like lying down on the church’s carpet. It felt euphoric. Maybe this is because I finally had the dream I have yearned for so long. The thought of marrying you did not actually came into mind. I was just a friend, a planner, a supporter and a whipped lover.

You were walking down the aisle, and I couldn’t help but cry by the insufficient joy I felt at that moment. You were very beautiful with that elegant white dress you were wearing. I decided to wear a tuxedo, just because. Thoughts were flashing, like being in the same house with you and with kids, growing old together. Daydreaming of us inside forever.

The wedding ran through, and the priest asked me, “Choi Yena, Do you accept Kim Chaewon as your wife, until death do both of you part?” I did not waste anymore second and answered “YES Father. I do.” Then he asked you the same thing, “Kim Chaewon, Do you accept Choi Yena as your wife, until death do both of you part?”

Five seconds and you still did not answer and silence filled the church. I was holding my breath with everyone. “Yes Father, I do” you answered and smiled at me. Everyone applauded and felt relieved. “before we end this special occasion, is there anyone who is not in favor of this wedding?” the priest asked.

There I saw a woman, unclearly shouting as she waved her handkerchief. It was none other than your nitwitted ex, Kim Minju. She was not clearly in favor of this wedding. She came close and finally and clearly stated her purpose, “please stop this wedding, I love her, I love that bride, I love you Kim Chaewon and I’m here to say sorry to you, Chae, I’m sorry  for everything, please, I’m sincerely sorry.” Minju cried with eyes full of sorrow and tears, kneeling. I glanced at you, crying and smiling at the same time while eyes on her, then you looked back at me and stated the 4 most hurtful words in my life, “I still love her…” and those echoed inside my head.

I was devastated.

I badly want to cry.

I want to die.

I wished that this was only a dream.

With tears flowing down my face, I hugged you with full of love, tightly, for the last time, then walked towards Minju as the audience eyed me and mayhaps curious what I will do. I took off the tuxedo jacket, your mom gave me, and let her wear it and helped her stood up. “go get your girl min” I said while smiling, hiding the hurt that I felt. “don’t ever think of hurting her again. I will be watching you, and if you ever hurt her one more time, I’ll take her away from you.” I said while dusting the jacket. “I love her. But she loves you more. I was once a way-giver and for the last time, I will give way. You may now marry my bride…” I said with a tear escaping from my eyes. I glanced at my love and smiled, assuring her that it’s going to be okay. I watched Minju walking towards the altar and then Yujin went beside me. “you did well bro, you were so brave, I’m so proud of you.” She said and hugged me, and that was when I couldn’t take it any longer, I broke down in Yujin’s shoulder while my other friends were watching us. They formed into a group hug, comforting me. They were always the ones that were by my side, they were the ones who scolded me because of my foolishness, but because I'm one stubborn child, I did not listened to them.

But not once I regretted being with you. The whole time that I was with you was magical. It was more than enough, I could never find the right words to express how thankful I am. I was able to spend my time with you happily because I was with you, Even though it was only for a short span of time. It was as if I was a hero in my past life that faith was able to grant me someone as special as you.

"and yes, I paid for their wedding..."

Maybe this isn’t really tragic than what everybody thinks it is. Perhaps this is a thing worth celebrating for, not because it ended, but because it happened. When you love someone, you don’t need to think about the love they’ll be able to give back to you. If you really love them, you don’t wait for something to receive. You don’t wait for them to give back the same amount of love you offered to them. Because if you really love them, even if they don’t give you back anything, that doesn’t matter. It’s love. You chose to love them.

and that ends my first and last one-shot everyone. dang! just finished this half a day so I don't expect this to be good. sksksksk. this is also an inspiration i got from ucnian freedom board in facebook, where they post real-life stories there. Anyways, you have reached the end of the fic and I hope you enjoyed the fic even tho it was a whole angst. 

Thank you so much for reading~! till next time..